Not Quite a Year Later

"Apollo?"

Apollo looked up from the notes he was making on a scroll. "Yes, Accord? Have you finished practicing those bandaging techniques?"

Accord dropped into the chair opposite his desk, first flipping his braid over his shoulder, so that it wouldn't be trapped behind him. "Yeah. I left two of your priests looking like Egyptian mummies. If you don't want to check my work, I'll tell them they can unwind before I go."

"I don't think I need to inspect them. I'm sure they would have given you any direction you needed. That's all for today, then, but tomorrow I'm going to quiz you on the various herbs and potions used to reduce fever and prevent infection."

"Gotcha."

Apollo went back to his notes, but after a moment, he realized that Accord hadn't left yet. He put down his quill and gave his attention to the boy once again. "Well?"

"I was just wondering... D'you think it would be possible for me to assist with some of the pregnant women? Not necessarily with birth--I know they don't want spare men hanging around then."

Apollo folded his hands. "Accord, we don't have any pregnant goddesses right now, and most pregnant mortal women don't want men involved at ALL. The healthy ones are tended to by Hera and Hestia--Asclepius and I only deal with the ones who are at risk--and they usually have to be ordered by a goddess to let us tend them."

Accord fidgeted. "I could, like, dress up as a woman. I'm still not growing whiskers, and if I unwind this," he flipped his braid, "maybe put a couple of ornamental pins in it, I could probably pass, as long as they didn't, like, grope me, or something."

"You've been hanging around Strife a lot, haven't you?" Accord grinned. "Look, I agree that since your specialty is mediation, you're going to need to know how to deal with pregnant women, but this sort of thing will probably require diplomatic wrangling to get Hera to agree, and I just don't have the time right now."

"Do we have to get Hera's permission?"

"Do you want to deal with it if someone goes screaming to her?"

Accord made a face. "I see your point."

"Just be patient. She's bound to be in a good mood sometime within the next few years, and we'll see what we can do then. Is that all?"

"Yeah, I guess." Accord stood up and headed for the door. "See ya tomorrow." He went out into the hall, and thought, *I see your point. Doesn't mean I'm going to let it stand in my way, though. I'm as patient as the next person, but Dad's pregnant now.*

Ares was in the mirror room--the one that was lined with mirrors, and contained nothing but a bed. Well, a bed and a small chest that held a selection of 'toys'. He was currently standing, facing into one corner. In that position, he could see himself from every angle, and he was examining himself with the same razor sharp gaze that had caused thousands of normally confident warriors to quake in their sandals.

He was dressed in nothing but his pants and boots, and he was critically examining his waistline. His eyes narrowed, but it didn't change the view. There was a definite, shallow curve of flesh pushing against the waistband. The waistband was no longer snug--it was approaching tight. He laid his palm flat against his abdomen and pressed. The bulge flattened easily, and he nodded, tightening the muscles. He moved his hand... and the curve appeared again.

Ares sighed. He'd been doing this for fifteen minutes, and it was always the same. That curve wasn't going anywhere. He got his vest off the bed and put it on, studying the effect. He shifted his shoulders, pulling the edges a little closer together. That left a gap of only a couple of inches around the waist. He tried to decide if this made the belly overhang any less noticeable, or if it drew attention to it.

"I thought Dite was the one who spent all her time in front of the mirror."

Ares glanced up quickly. Over his reflection's shoulder, he could see Joxer leaning in the doorway. He sighed. "If you can sneak up on me when I have a fucking mirror, I must be losing it."

Joxer came up behind Ares and wrapped his arms around him. His hands came to rest on the tiny bulge. "It's not gonna go away." He squeezed softly. "That's baby, not fat."

Ares sighed again. "I know. It's just... I never did go through a chubby stage. I've seen one or two scrying mirrors of myself as a toddler, and I didn't even have that watermelon belly thing most babies have. This is..." his hands came to rest over Joxer's, "weird."

Joxer nodded. "I was the same way, except I was scrawny instead of lean. It is a bit of a shock to look down and not be able to see your feet."

Ares pinched the back of his hand, but gently. His voice acerbic, he said, "I haven't reached that stage yet, thank you."

"You're only in your fourth month. Give it time."

"I'm so looking forward to it."

"Waddle, waddle, waddle."

Ares bit back a chuckle, gripping Joxer's wrists, and pulling him more tightly against his back. Joxer obliged by nibbling on Ares' neck, and hunching against his ass. "That's what got me into this situation," Ares murmured, pushing back at him.

"Hey," said Joxer, "I offered, but you were so determined..."

"I'm messing with you, doofus."

"Oh. I knew that."

Ares returned to studying his reflection, and shook his head. "I don't mind the belly so much, but I'm really not looking forward to growing boobs."

"It helps if you wear a binder--not too snug, mind you, but the support is worth it."

"And what about breast feeding? It was okay for you--you're naturally smooth. Me--the poor kid is going to get hair in his mouth every time he wants a snack."

"You could shave." "What?"

"Just a suggestion. Strife says that bodybuilders in the future do it."

"What's a body builder? Sounds like someone who digs up graves for spare parts to create their idea of a perfect man."

"I think that's called a Frahnkonshteen. The guys I'm talking about deliberately do exercises and lift heavy things over and over and over again to build up certain muscles."

Ares grunted. "Sounds pretty damn pointless to me."

"I guess people have a lot of spare time in the future. Anyway, according to Strife, these guys don't want body hair, because that doesn't give people the best view of their bodies, so they remove it."

"Let me get this straight--just to show off their muscles, they let someone run a razor all over their body? Are they all somehow related to Strife?"

"Not all of them use shaving. Strife said some of them use wax. They spread molten wax on the area they want clean, let it cool, then peel..."

"The skin off. I'm familiar with torture techniques. That's not one I prefer, though I think that Eris is rather fond of it."

"No, it just removes the hair. Well, if it's done right. I suppose if you get someone who doesn't know what they're doing..." Joxer shook himself briefly. "Strife says that women routinely have it done to, uh, neaten up their... you know... private hair." Ares stared disbelievingly at his husband's reflection. "I'm not making this up."

"I'd like to be around if someone ever suggested that to an Amazon."

"Anyway, you don't have to worry about that right now. It's a long way in the future." Joxer slid his hands up Ares' torso, scratching lightly in the dark hair decorating his chest. "And I'd be kinda curious to see what you look like smooth. I think it would be sexy." Ares quirked an eyebrow. "Of course I think you're sexy even when you're grumpy, hung over, and have second day beer breath that'd knock a harpy out of midair."

"Yeah, you're prejudiced like that." Ares once again rubbed his belly. "Kid, I just hope that you don't take after the Titan side of the family."

"Accord has a bum deal," Bliss declared.

"Sure," Impetua agreed. She was dangling a piece of string for Priss to play with. The little white-and-black cat was stalking it carefully, green eyes narrowed and just the very tip of her tail vibrating with excitement. Bliss gave her a wry look. Impetua was usually willing to agree that just about anyone had a raw deal. Of course, being Jealousy and Envy, she could easily point out the rough spots of anyone's situation, all the better to have them brooding about what they didn't have that someone else did. Still, he didn't think she'd been paying attention to what he'd been saying, so he decided to call her on it. "Okay, Smartypants. Why does he have a bum deal?"

Imp twitched the string out of Priss' reach just as the cat was stretching a paw toward it. "Instead of just havin to learn the general history, an' math, an' readin stuff, plus the finer points of his godhood, like most of us, Zeusy is makin him learn from just about anyone on Olympus who has a teacherly bone in their body, an' a lot of them who'd rather cut their throat than teach someone anythin. That about it?"

"Yeah, that's it. How do you do that? How do you act oblivious, but catch everything?"

"It's m' job, bro." She dropped the string on top of Priss' head, and watched at the cat began to wrestle with it. "How can I make people pissed over missin some little thing if I don't know what they're missin?" Bliss was sprawled on a sofa, while Imp had been sitting cross-legged on the floor before him. Now she leaned back on her elbows, stretching out her legs so that she could prod Priss with her toes. This got the cat to attack her foot, but Imp didn't care. She always sported two or three scratches on her feet from such play. Impetua rolled her head and gazed up at him through a few curly strands of green-brown hair. Her voice was sly. "Ya know, you bitch about Accord's troubles more'n you bitch about yer own."

"You have such an elegant turn of phrase."

She stuck her tongue out at him. "I come by it honestly." Priss had stopped attacking her foot, and was walking up her leg. "Hey, poot, I'm talkin here. Go find somethin else to amuse yerself." Priss sat, glared at her, and meowed. "All right." She tapped her necklace on the head. "Hiss, Priss wants ta play."

The jade necklace rippled, jaws unclamping from its tail. The tongue flickered, and it slithered down--right down Impetua's cleavage. She giggled as the ripple of fabric marked the reptile's progress. Bliss said, "Imp, you need to make Hiss take a route down your arm, or something. Someone's gonna have a heart attack when they see that..."

"Probably Demeter, the ol' tight ass."

"And then Uncle Apollo and Ace are gonna be mad at you," Bliss continued. Hiss emerged from beneath the hem of Imp's dress, crawling along her thigh. She giggled as it wiggled quickly over to Priss and did a miniature boa constrictor impression, climbing up one of the cat's leg to wrap himself around her body. Priss watched him get situated, then started howling and growling in mock fury. In a second they were rolling and thrashing about on the floor. After another couple of seconds Hiss disengaged and raced across the floor, with Priss in hot pursuit. Anyone unfamiliar with the household would have expected someone to get killed shortly, but this was a long familiar play routine. The two had been playmates and partners in crime from the moment they'd come to live with Impetua. They raced out into the hall, and a few moments later Bliss and Imp heard a crash, and a high-pitched shriek. Imp giggled. "Ya'd think that by now the temple priests would be used to 'em. Ya know, bro, ya don't hafta worry so much about Accord. He's really into the whole learnin schtick." She frowned. "He studies more'n he has to. If it was anyone else, I'd say they were kissin up."

Bliss nodded. "He's pushing himself. I heard Ace talking about how Cord was when he was learning therapeutic massage. He said that he'd only assigned an hour of practice, but that Accord worked on one of the temple volunteers till the guy had practically melted into a puddle of happy goo."

Imp rolled her eyes. "I dunno how that could be helpful to Accord."

Bliss' eyes unfocused slightly. "Oh, I don't know."

Impetua studied him, a sly smile spreading slowly across her face. Then it softened. One of her greatest joys in life was tormenting her big brother (Strife said that's what siblings were for), but she knew that this wasn't a frivolous thing for Bliss. "Ya know what I think? I think someone needs ta make him take a little time off for himself. How about we sort of hijack him for a day at the beach? I can go talk to Apollo. I bet he'll give permission for Accord to skip a day if I ask nice."

"If you hint that the Muses might suddenly be at each others' throats because he doesn't show exactly equal attention to each one?"

She smirked. "Somethin like that, but it works."

Bliss smiled at her. "Want to invite Polly, too?"

"Heck yeah! She's so funny when she gets sand in her bathin suit."

"She probably wouldn't, if you didn't stuff handfuls down the back. Okay, you talk to Apollo, and I'll go see Hestia about fixing us up with a good lunch. We'll go to that nice beach that Poseidon's people like so much. That way all the dads won't have to worry about anybody drowning."

"Why should they worry?"

"Because I'm going to tell them what we're doing."

She rolled her eyes. "You're going to ask permission?" Her voice was mildly scornful.

"You bet I am. You, Cord, and Polly are still considered kids, and I'm the only adult, so that makes me responsible, and I'm gonna be that--responsible, I mean."

"Old man."

Bliss cupped a hand behind his ear and made his voice high pitched and cracked. "Eh? What say?"

Imp laughed, then raised her voice, "Hiss! Get yer scaly butt back in here. We gotta book." The snake came slithering back into the room. As it approached, Imp put her hand down on the floor. Without pause the snake slithered up her arm looped himself around her neck, git his own tail, and became a necklace again. Priss had followed and watched this. Now she meowed loudly. "Apollo," said Imp. Priss meowed again. "No, I can't swing by Joxer's place so you can visit Mjau." Priss hissed. "Behave, an' I'll see about bringin him along tomorrow when we go to the beach. Ya can lure him out into th' dunes an' get buck wild." Priss, who had been bushing up, stopped fluffing, and purred. "I love ya, ya slut. If the dads didn't make me give ya the 'no kitties' potion, you would've populated the world by now, wouldn't ya? Wanna come?" Priss climbed into her lap. Imp stood up, cradling the cat in her arms. "An' just remember, if ya need ta use the potty--Apollo has a lot of potted plants sittin around." She disappeared in a spray of green sparks.

Bliss shook his head. "If we got a salary, Daddy Strife would have to put that girl on the payroll."