They had the left over rabbit for breakfast, and Iolaus had located a patch of wild strawberries. They discussed the idiocy of some self-proclaimed gourmets who would leave game to ripen 'till most self-respecting dogs would go ahead and bury it instead of eating it. They discussed the difference between the small, sharply flavored berries and the plump, perfect, milder flavored ones produced by the royal gardens. They did not discuss what happened the day before.

They gathered up their things. As Hercules finished tying up his bedroll he said, "Look, if you want to, we can go on and head back. There's nothing more between here and Macedonia but that mountain, after all."

Iolaus' first instinct was to eagerly agree. After all, he'd been bitching most of the trip, missing the comforts of court. But he had a feeling that if they stepped back into the bustle of court life it would be just too easy for both of them to avoid talking about, or even thinking about the new level they had reached. And though Iolaus would never be interested in a reluctant partner, he didn't want to slip back to where they had been. "I dunno, Herc. I know a single mountain isn't much in the grand scheme of things, but on the mortal level, it's pretty damn big." They'd been camped just below the crest of the hill, and as he spoke he was walking the rest of the way up. He reached the crown, then blinked, and pointed. "In fact, I'm pretty sure they would agree with me."

"They?" Hercules came up beside him and looked in the direction he indicated. There was a shallow valley before them. It was a beautiful little place, lush with greenery. Nestled in the center was a small village. They exchanged looks, then Hercules reached for the map. They bent over it together. After a moment Hercules said, "It isn't there."

"I beg to differ. I can smell the smoke."

"I mean on the..." Iolaus lifted an eyebrow. "Right." He stared back down at the village. "So that's sort of our outpost on the Macedonian border."

"Good thing we're at peace with Macedonia. You don't suppose that they're actually Macedonians who have sneaked over and established a foothold?"

"I don't think that even qualifies as a toehold."

"I think it still has a tavern, and I could really, really do with something brewed--and I don't mean Chin tea. And I wouldn't mind a real bed, either. How about you?" He glanced over at Hercules, and saw that he was blushing a dull red. *Tartarus, am I going to put my foot in it every time I take a step?* "Maybe it's just me, but this area seems to be particularly rocky. I think I have pebble marks on my back."

"We'd better check it. It won't hurt to spend a couple of days scouting things out. As far as they are from everything, they're probably starved for news."

They started down the slope to the village.

They received a few curious looks as they made their way into the village, but not as much as they might have expected in a place this isolated. They paused on the street, gazing around. Hercules said doubtfully, "We had a good view, but I don't recall seeing anything resembling a market place."

A man pulling a handcart full of clay jars toward the outskirts of town paused. "That's because we don't need one. Everyone knows what everyone else has to barter or sell, and we just go to them as we need. It saves the trouble and upkeep of a market."

"What about your visitors?"

The man shrugged. "We get merchants and travelers passing from Macedonia to Greece, and vise-versa. No one ever stays long enough to need to buy produce. They get what they want at the tavern."

"Where would that be?" asked Iolaus.

The man pointed. "Third building on the right. It's called the Amazon's Lament. If the wench in charge gives you a hard time, just tell her that Timous sent you." He started away.

They started toward the tavern, but Iolaus slapped Hercules on the shoulder. "Duh! We forgot to ask him something even more important!" He called after the man. "Hey!"

Timous stopped and turned, giving them a mildly annoyed look, "What? I have to get this done quickly."

"I just wanted to know what you call this place."

"Home."

"Um, right. I meant the name of the village. It does have a name?"

"Of course it does. What sort of hole-in-the-wall place do you think we are? Don't answer that. This..." he swept his arm, "is Efforos." He started off again.

Hercules and Iolaus moved on. Iolaus said, "Fertile. This place must be dedicated to Demeter."

"It fits, I guess," said Hercules. "Those vineyards we passed had grapes almost as big as my thumb."

"I know. I noticed when you slapped my hand as I was reaching for some."

"I'm sure we can get some at the tavern. Remember what happened that time that the royal cook caught you raiding the imperial melon patch." Iolaus rubbed his head ruefully. "I've never seen such aim with a sling-shot. Luckily he was loaded with pebbles and not stones, or you'd have been bugging Hades for another few weeks."

Outside the tavern, they paused and peered up at the tavern's sign. Iolaus squinted. "That is the first fat Amazon I've ever seen."

"The drawing is a little crude," said Hercules. "The artist probably had problems with proportions. I hope he did it from imagination, because if he had a model, she might well have gone after him for adding pounds."

They went inside. It was a pleasant enough place--nothing fancy. There was a good bit of business for that time of the morning. It looked as if there might be a merchant caravan getting ready to move out. They were being tended to by three women, two still in their teens, and one older. Judging from the family resemblance, they were mother and daughters. The elder, carrying a tray of empty dishes, paused and frowned at them in a less-than-welcoming manner. "You're too late for breakfast. I suppose I can give you bread and cheese, but I'm not going near that fire again till supper time."

"We've had breakfast," said Hercules. "We just rooms." Iolaus sighed mentally at the plural. Oh, they often had separate rooms, but that was usually because one of them (usually Iolaus) had arranged some one-night companionship.

"In the middle of the day? What are you--vampires?"

Iolaus and Hercules exchanged looks, both thinking that business must be pretty good if the woman thought she could afford to be so rude. "We don't want to sleep right now. I just thought that we'd get rooms now, to be sure that they aren't all taken."

"That shouldn't be a problem. Now, excuse me--I have demanding men to take care of." She shoved past them.

"For some reason I get a sort of Amazon impression from her," said Hercules.

"I'll grant you a tiny bit of Amazonian attitude," said Iolaus, "but there must be a spell on her, or something, if she's willing to wait on men without a knife at her throat. Maybe she has an Amazon ancestor a couple of generations back. That might explain the tavern's name."

One of the girls waiting table, a freckle-faced, cheerful girl, was glad to set their packs back in the kitchen, where they'd be out of the way and unlikely to be plundered by the other guests. Then Hercules and Iolaus set out to explore the village and surrounding area.

They saw Timous coming back. He looked very tired, and there were streaks of moisture on the sides of the jars in his cart. They watched him pass, exchanging nods, and Iolaus said, "I wonder why he didn't draw water from that last well we passed? He doesn't strike me as the kind who would put himself through extra effort."

They spent the morning exploring. The town wasn't dedicated to Demeter, as they had guessed. Athena was the patron goddess. Her temple was small and quiet, but well kept. The village was small, but had everything it needed--blacksmith, brewer, cooper, baker, apothecary, butcher, tailor...

A group of children ran past them, and Iolaus said, "Is it just me, or does this place seem to have a fairly high proportion of children?"

"I think you're right," Hercules agreed. "Not a, say, freakish number, but more than I would expect."

"They don't stay." The looked around to find a woman watching them from a doorway, a plump toddler riding her hip. When she saw them watching her, she shrugged. "When they get older, they run away with one of the caravans that passes through. Can't say I blame 'em. There isn't much to hold 'em around here."

"It seems like a very nice place," Hercules protested.

The woman seemed a little surprised. She looked up and down the street, then around the immediate area. "Yeah, it's nice enough, I guess. Just not very exciting." She snorted. "Not unless something happens, and that hasn't happened for years now. Most men have better sense. Welcome to Efforos." She went inside, shutting the door.

"The last time I heard anything that cryptic," said Iolaus, "it was from the Fates. Could she have been any more vague? What did she mean by 'something'?"

"Who knows? In a place this quiet, I don't think it would take much to cause a stir in the neighborhood. Maybe it's someone being caught cheating at dice in the tavern, or someone slipping around on their spouse."

"This is a small town, Herc. Adultery would be noticed and commented on, but it would hardly be considered 'something'."

They took notes as they wandered around. They hadn't drawn detailed maps of the towns they'd been through, but given the possible strategic importance, they decided that it might be wise. They were careful not to attract too much attention while doing it, though. Being considered a spy was a good way to get yourself killed.

They had further evidence that afternoon of the traffic that passed through Efforos. Another group of merchants arrived, coming from the direction of Macedonia. Hercules and Iolaus watched them in the tavern that night. They were made just as welcome as the two heroes had been--they weren't fawned over, but they received competent service from the bustling landlady and her daughters.

Timous was there, off and on, but he never seemed to accomplish much. After supper they heard his wife (who they had learned was named Sherrue--and don't think Iolaus didn't remark on the name's closeness to 'shrew') roundly berating the man. His reply was contrite. He apologized for leaving her to deal with the business, but he declared, "You know we were getting low on water, m'love, and I wanted you to have plenty for your bath tonight."

That seemed to surprise her. "You hauled enough water for me to have--a bath?"

"A full one, my sweet. I've set up the tub in the washroom, and the water is heating even now."

The woman's eyes almost glazed over. "A hot bath?" Then her eyes narrowed. "What have you done?"

"Nothing!" His tone was one of hurt innocence.

She grunted. "Well, I suppose there's a first time for everything."

"Why don't you just go and settle the last guests, and I'll fill your tub? Everyone will be to bed soon, and you can enjoy a nice, long soak." He went back toward the kitchen, and Sherrue came over to the table shared by Hercules and Iolaus. "Time to retire. I have something to do, and I won't have my girls staying up alone with strange men."

"That's fine," said Hercules. "Just direct us to our rooms."

"Follow me." She led them through a door into a short hall. "I was going to put you upstairs, but my eldest girl gave out all the rooms up there to that new lot. Elladil has been using the old maid's room lately, but she can bunk in with her sister for a night without a problem." She pushed open a door, revealing a small room, most of which was taken up by a bed.

Iolaus saw Hercules stiffen, and knew what was coming. "Rooms," Hercules said. "We wanted two rooms."

The woman frowned. "I thought you were traveling together."

"We are, but we want two rooms."

*Speak for yourself,* Iolaus thought.

"Well, this is all there is," she said bluntly. "So it's this, or nothing. I swear, I never heard of two men being so picky. It's a good, clean bed--big enough for two. If one of you kicks, then the other can stretch out on the floor--if he can find enough room. Besides that, it's cheaper for two people in one room than it is for two people in two rooms. Now, I'm too tired to argue with you. Take it or leave it."

Hercules looked helplessly at Iolaus. Iolaus just crossed his arms and said nothing. He wasn't going to wheedle. Hercules could always decide to go looking for a stable to sleep in, if sharing a bed with Iolaus had become so onerous. "No, this will do, thanks."

The woman snorted. "I should think so."

The next-door down opened, and Timous peeked out. "Sherrue, my dear--your bath is ready. Hurry, before the water loses its heat."

She nodded at Hercules and Iolaus. "Excuse me. I don't know what's gotten into him to actually be thoughtful, but I'd better enjoy it while I can." She went next door.

Timous gave them what seemed almost to be a conspiratorial smile. "Don't be hanging about in the hallway gentlemen. Sleep well."

They went into the room, shutting the door. It was crowded--constantly bumping into each other crowded. It isn't easy to avoid looking someone in the face in a setting like that, but Hercules was managing it. After a moment Iolaus said, "Look, Herc, if you're really this uncomfortable with me, I can find somewhere else to sleep." Hercules didn't reply, and Iolaus said, a little more forcefully, "Look, I know that things can't be exactly the same as they were, but is there any reason for them to be this awkward? We're both the same people we were yesterday."

"Things have changed," Hercules said heavily.

"Yes," Iolaus agreed. "But it isn't necessarily a change for the worse. Herc, ALL relationships--friendship, hate, or love--change over time. Maybe it was just time for ours to change. There's no reason to... to spaz out." Hercules gave him an indignant look. "Emotionally spaz out?" Iolaus laid a gentle hand on Hercules' arm, and was glad when his friend didn't stiffen. "C'mon, admit it--ignoring what happened isn't exactly mature. We're going to have to talk about things, if we want to stay friends."

"Do you want to stay friends?" There was wistful pain in Hercules' voice, and a vulnerability that Iolaus had seen only once or twice.

"Don't question that. Don't ever question that I care for you, Herc," Iolaus said, quietly and firmly. "Look, we don't have to talk this out right now. We're both tired, and we've been through a lot. Let's sleep on it, all right?" Before Hercules could say anything, Iolaus quickly said, "Just sleep."

"Sounds good." Hercules started to take off his vest. "I didn't sleep well last night." He was quiet for a moment as Iolaus began to take off his shirt, too, then he said softly, "I think it might have been because you were sleeping way over on the other side of the fire. I couldn't hear you breathing. I'm used to listening to you breathe when I can't sleep."

Touched, Iolaus was about to reply, when they heard a female voice next door call out, "Timous? Timous--come here." There was a giggle. "I neeeeed you."

The tone had been flirtatious, and the two men exchanged looks. The last adjective they would have applied to their landlady was flirtatious. They heard the door open, and the landlord's voice said, "Yes, dear? What do you--?" There was a loud splash. "Sher! You're getting my clothes all wet!"

"Then take them off."

There was a great deal more sloshing and splashing, and not a few moans and yelps. By now both of the travelers were blushing. Iolaus whispered, "Don't worry--that's the laundry room, so it won't be going on all night. They'll want to retire to their room pretty soon. I know from experience that doing it in a bathtub can be fun, but it cramps the muscles pretty damn fast, if it isn't one of those ritzy bathing pools."

The noises quickly reached a crescendo, then died away to contented murmurs. Hercules and Iolaus were sure that the episode would be over soon, when Sherrue said breathlessly. "I don't know what came over me. All of a sudden I just had to have a man." She giggled. "It's a good thing you came running, Timous. There are two fine studs just next door, and I was close to knocking on their door."

"Oh, no!" Timous sounded smug. "I wasn't about to let that happen. I wasn't about to take the chance that the baby would be..."

"What baby?"

"Um..."

There was a sudden ominous edge to Sherrue's voice. "You know very well I'm taking that potion, as regular as the sun rises and sets." Her voice rose a little. "Wait a minute... You volunteered to get water, even before we needed it. You did it without bitching. You took a long time doing it." Her voice continued to rise, and they could hear her husband making weak, protesting noises. "You almost insisted I take a bath, and you filled the tub yourself. Timous--what have you done?"

"Now, dear..."

"You went to the fucking spring, didn't you?"

There was a loud clang, and a pained yell, and Iolaus winced in sympathy, though he was trying not to laugh. "Oo. He should have just bought her a present instead."

There were crashes, curses, and babbling from next door. "Sherrue, darling, let me..." *thump* "Ouch! Please, if you'll just let me explain..." *bam* "Please, honey! I know that once you calm down you'll be happy, and..." *smash* "Not the broken crockery! What good would it do you to neuter me now?"

"Crap. We'd better do something," sighed Hercules.

They stepped out into the hall just as the laundry room door opened and Timous flew out, followed closely by a thrown stool. "Sherrue, stop that!" he panted as he hid behind Hercules. "A woman in your condition, exerting herself like that!"

"Whose fault is that?" Hercules was grateful that Sherrue had put on a loose robe--it was always a little disconcerting to confront an angry, naked woman. He'd seen Xena fight naked once (long story), and the memory never failed to make him feel slightly stunned. While Sherrue wasn't as physically impressive as the Warrior Princess, her attitude at the moment wasn't that far from Xena's battle attitude. She was hefting a jug in her hand. "Mister, you want to get from between me and that low down, toad licking, snake kissing, mother loving, dirty, rotten, lazy, sneaky, deceiving, no-account piece of scum sucking shit!"

"That's no way to talk to the father of your baby," Timous quavered.

"I'm going to pray to every goddess that I can think of that your nuts shrivel up and fall off!" She looked at Iolaus, pointing angrily at Timous. "I married him. I gave him four healthy children--beautiful little girls. He claims that he loves them beyond reason. But is he satisfied? No! He wants a son."

"But sweetheart," whined Timous, "with the eldest two moved away, we need more help with the business..."

"And you think that saddling me with another baby will make things easier? You only did this because you want a boy."

"A man wants someone to... to teach man things. To take fishing. To teach how to fix things."

"You could take Melamin fishing, and since when have you ever wanted to fix anything around here?"

"Lady," said Iolaus, "calm down. There's probably nothing to worry about. I mean after all, you say you've been taking a conception preventative regularly, and those things usually have to be stopped for awhile for fertility to return. And besides, it was just one time..."

"You don't understand." Now her anger melted into weary resignation. "He got the bath water from that damn spring."

Hercules said, "It was a little sneaky, yes, but you shouldn't be too hard on him. All he wanted was, uh, a little fun."

"A little fun? Did you hear me right? I said he got the water from the spring. Do you know what that spring does?"

Hercules was blushing again. "Yes."

Sherrue folded her arms. "What does it do?"

"Well, it, uh... it makes the bather... amorous."

"That's an understatement. But you forgot the second part of the curse."

"Second part?"

"Yes--the instant fertility part. Anyone who bathes in that water is struck with an uncontrollable urge to mate, and everyone who can get pregnant--does." *thud* *blinkblink* She gazed down at a now unconscious Hercules. "I've never seen anyone his size faint before."