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"So... how was your date?" asks Willow, with a sly smile.
"Date?"
"It wasn't a date?"
I open my mouth to lie, but... not to Willow and Tara. I sigh with a little sheepish smile. "Yeah... it was a date. How did you know about us?"
"Well you've been going over to Feather's house a lot... and then you asked me about sex... I put two and two together." She sits down beside me on the couch. Tara's on my other side with the same little smile.
"Thanks for tattling to my sister!" I accuse.
"Well I think you two needed to talk about some things."
"Don't worry, we did. I'm not having sex with Fa... Feather. She doesn't want to anyway."
"Good. Taking things slow is all good. Now... tell us all about your hot date! Did you have fun?"
I grin. "Yeah. She had candles, and she got me flowers, and she made dinner and we got a movie!" I've been waiting so long to tell Willow and Tara! I'm proud of having a girlfriend! I don't mention the gold bracelet she gave me last night, though... that stays in my room at her place, with all my other stuff she's bought, until she can tell Buffy I didn't steal it all.
Tara smiles wider. "Wow, she sounds like a keeper! Her mom lets you do all that?"
"Her mom doesn't care." Always go with the truth!
"What did she make?" asks Willow. "Good home cooking?"
"Ugh! No! It was awful. She should stick to carryout. But she's so sweet. She tried. And she seemed sorta sad. So I ate two whole bowls to be nice." I shudder again at the memory.
Tara laughs and pulls on my hair. "Sounds like you're pretty stuck on her."
And then I'm blurting it out, practically jumping out of my seat with the excitement I've kept hidden too long. "I love her! Like you guys!" Oops... Should I have said that? But they still love each other. I know it! They went out for coffee yesterday. They could be back together any day now!
They're quiet for a moment, not looking at each other, but still smiling. "I hope she appreciates you," says Willow.
"She does, she loves me too!" I know I'm wearing the sappiest smile ever. They both laugh happily to see me like this. "And I have a surprise for her, I'm gonna ask her to the dance next week!"
"You're so cute about her, Dawn, I'm getting jealous!" says Willow. "Why haven't you let us meet her?"
I shrug uncomfortably. "You'll meet her soon."
I look around myself and say a silent goodbye.
Once upon a time I turned to shit. Became an evil, twisted beast. I sent the beast to prison, but she came right back out with me. So I tried to kill her with pills. Then I thought my long-lost Dawn had slain the beast once and for all, allowing the real me to go on living. But the beast never really left. She began working her evil wearing the mask of love instead of hate. And isn't that even worse?
I didn't sleep much after dinner with Dawn last night. I knew I'd crossed a line. A line I can never return from. Won't be sleeping tonight, either. I've got plans. Big plans.
I want to do this thing quickly, but cleanly. No strangers pawing through my private things. So I box and label all my possessions. The stereo the Mayor got me. Fuck you, Boss. My CDs. My Playstation. My clothes. My weapons. Dishes, bedding... everything. Neat and tidy. I throw out things like soap and half-opened food. Take down the blankets blocking the windows. Doesn't much matter who knows I'm here now.
Eventually I take a deep breath and face going into Dawn's room and boxing her things. Clothing. Posters. Her new computer. Jewelry. Meaningless stuff, really. I used to give her things I made myself: a necklace made of colored string... a piece of red beach glass that I turned into a pin. She still has all that stuff. She showed me. But I haven't given her a real gift since Boston.
All the magic shit from the Mayor is already boxed. And then of course there's the Box. And one little paper bag with all the private things. The things that are for no one else to see. A photo of my mom. A photo of Buffy and Willow and Xander. A bunch of my Dawnie, and some of the two of us, mostly laughing. And a bundle of her love notes, some from Boston and some more recent. I find them hidden in funny places after she visits. The bundle is stained by my tears.
Soon, probably tomorrow, people I don't even know will be attending to my things. Putting a value on them to sell, or simply auctioning them off. Whatever. It won't matter to me. But I've made things nice and organized for whoever gets stuck with the job.
I write a note for my poor, dear Dawnie. She deserves so much better than what I turned into. I hope to God she isn't the one who comes here first, to discover that I'm gone. But it's possible.
I hope she understands. What I'm about to do is so final... but so very, very right. Forgive me, Dawnie! I have to do this. Forgive me for changing your life without even telling you first. Been doing that a lot lately. But you might talk me out of it, my love, and you're so very persuasive.
In the end, dressed in the clothes I went to prison in, there's only one thing left unboxed.
My knife. This fucking knife! It belongs to the beast that I've become. Do I have plans for it? You bet I do. Evil and destruction are all it knows. Soon it will face the final destruction.
Tonight I kill the beast. Forever.
"We've found Faith."
My breath stops in my throat. I put down my fork. Not interested in dinner anymore.
"Where is she?" asks my sister, in the voice that means business–bad business for whoever's crossed her. Bad for my Faith!
"Her apartment from the Mayor. I've been making my usual rounds of your contacts, Spike–someone saw lights there. She may have been there all along. I think we should go now."
"Are we sure she hasn't reached the immortal phase yet?" asks Buffy.
Tara shakes her head. "She's almost there. A few rites left."
"Perfect." She picks up a crossbow. Willow and Xander select weapons as well.
"Giles!" I say, starting to panic. "You don't want to kill her! You just want her to be a good Slayer, right?"
He nods. "That is my intention. But she's come out of prison far more evil and dangerous than I had hoped. Stopping her Ascension has to be the first priority."
Everyone starts to march out of the house, leaving me with Spike.
"Watch her, Spike," orders Buffy, leaving last. "Who knows where Faith is now. She might show up. If she does, get Dawn out of here." She tosses me a crossbow. That's a first. "Spike can't fight Faith. You can. Just in case we don't find her right away."
I shake my head, speechless, and set the weapon aside in horror. "No! Faith's not doing anything! She's good!" But the door is already closed behind my sister. I run after everyone but Spike stops me.
"Best stay put," he says. "Bloody figures," he mutters. "A real fight for once, and I'm useless!"
"Spike! We have to go after them! I know Faith, I've been to her place! I know she's not doing anything wrong!"
He stares at me. "You've been to see Faith?"
"All the time! She's good now!"
"Bloody hell..." he says, astonished.
"Come on! Get your bike!" I try to pull him toward the door.
"Look, I don't know what she's been telling you, but this Ascension business is serious. Tara's been tracking her progress."
"No! Come on, we have to go! Someone's going to get hurt! Come on!"
He shakes his head and stands in front of the door, arms crossed. "Sorry, Niblet, I'm more scared of your sister than I am of you!"
Willow and Tara to the left of the door. Giles and Xander to the right. I'll kick it down if I have to, but last time I came here it was unlocked. I try the knob, standing back from the door so she won't be warned by the shadow of my feet.
It's unlocked this time too. I push it open quickly, Tara casts a fireball into the room for light, and we rush in.
Boxes everywhere, neatly stacked. Closets and bathroom sitting open and empty. We burst into a second bedroom, barely noticing a note taped to the door, but it's just more boxes. I turn on all the lights, check the shower, the kitchen cabinets... but she's gone. So is the Box of Gavrok. Damn it! We have to find her quickly before she becomes immortal!
Tara does her spell to detect the Rites of Ascension. "This is the place," she says softly. "Right here is where she's been doing everything."
"Buffy..." says Willow, carrying the note from the bedroom door. Her brow is wrinkled and she looks utterly baffled. She hands me the note without another word. I read it aloud.
"I'm so sorry, darling. I didn't want to leave things like this. I know it seems sudden, but I had to do it. I hope you understand why someday. No matter what, Dawn, I will always love you. Forever and ever. Faith."
Everyone stares in silence.
Xander speaks. "That's... not... our Dawn... right?"
"It can't be," says Willow.
We're all just standing here, puzzling out something that just isn't going to make any sense.
After a while, Tara speaks. "Feather."
I look at her, not understanding. "Feather?"
Willow's eyes open wide. "Feather!"
Xander's turn. "Feather?"
My blood runs cold. "Yes. Feather." I run out, shouting behind me. "Come on! We have to get to Dawn!"
I burst into the house to find Dawn crying on the sofa and Spike standing helplessly over her.
"What happened? What did she do? Was she here?"
"No," says Spike. "And I take it you didn't find her either?"
Dawn looks up, eyes red from crying.
"No. She was gone." I sit down beside my sister. "Dawn... I need you to tell me the truth or a lot of people could end up dead. Have you seen Faith?"
"Yes!" she says, sniffling, "She's good! She goes on patrol and everything!"
My brain is racing. Why and how did Faith gain Dawn's trust? I consider showing Dawn the note, but decide to be cautious about that.
"Does she know you're the Key?"
"Yes. I told her."
"You what? What is the matter with you, Dawn? She is an amoral, evil killer!"
"She is not! She loves me! She's my girlfriend, Feather!" Tara walks up and puts her hand on Dawn's shoulder.
I take a deep breath. My sister is the biggest victim of all here. "I know, Dawnie. She's been lying to you, using you, and I need to know how. Has she been doing magic with you?"
"No! She's not doing the Ascension thing either! Honestly, Buffy, she's good, we were going to tell you when she felt ready." She looks at me pleadingly.
My eyes narrow. Something's going on here and I can't for the life of me make any sense of it. How did this begin? How did Faith get my sister to deceive me, day in, day out? "Dawn... why would you trust her?"
"Because we're in love!" She's almost at the point of breakdown. "She saved me from the bus!"
Giles and I exchange grim glances. Now we know. It's obvious, really. And it's so very, very Faith. I am filled with such rage I am practically shaking despite my training.
"Dawn," I say, as gently as I can manage. "She doesn't love you. She pushed you in front of the bus so that she could pretend to save you. She almost killed you."
"That's not what happened!"
Willow sits down in front of Dawn and takes her hand. "Dawn, I'm so sorry. But we need you to tell us stuff. Anything you know about what she's doing and where she might have gone. All her things were boxed up."
"I don't know where she is! And it's not her doing the Ascension!"
Tara strokes Dawn's hair. "We're so sorry Dawn. But it is her. The black magic was still lingering in her apartment."
"No." Dawn says quietly. "She would never do that."
"Dawn," I say, "I've known Faith for a lot longer than you have. This is how she is. I wish I could make this easier for you." I could strangle Faith with my bare hands! To use my sister's feelings like this! And why?
"You have not known her longer!" Dawn yells, hands balled into fists.
"May I interrupt a moment?" says Giles, gently. "Dawn, we know she hid what she was doing from you. But you may be able to tell us something that can help us find her and put a stop to all this before it's too late. That means asking you to turn on someone you thought you could trust. I think we all appreciate how difficult that is. Tara... you've been to the place where the rites were performed. Can you do an identity spell and show us all who is behind the rites? Can you prove to Dawn what is going on here?"
Dawn falls silent, looking exasperated. Tara looks thoughtful. "I think so." She reaches into her pocket for the few pages we have from the Books of Ascension, flips through to a certain passage, and sits down. She closes her eyes and turns to orient herself. She's facing downtown. Toward the building where the dark magic is concentrated.
She speaks a few words, and a glow forms above the page. It solidifies into a face.
No. Two faces.
We all turn to stare at Dawn. She's staring at Faith's face in the image. And at her own.
I speak very slowly. "Dawn. This is not a game. You need to tell me exactly what is going on. Right now!"
Dawn is shaking her head, shocked, eyes brimming with tears. "No...." she whimpers softly. "No..."
"Buffy," Tara says quietly, "I don't think Dawn knows anything. Faith has been using her in the rites without telling her. Dawn... has she done any magic at all with you?"
"No! I don't think so... I... She loves me! She wouldn't!" But she's staring at the fading image of herself and Faith, floating over the page from the Books.
"All she would need is hair, saliva... anything from you. Think, Dawnie. Anything you can tell us will help us to protect you."
My sister seems numb and crushed. "She did a spell once... it made her see me. The real me... like Tara saw... and she freaked out. She thought she had done something to me. But I was fine!"
I have a very bad feeling about this. "OK... how could Faith use the Key in the Rites of Ascension?"
"She'd need someone else at the end," says Tara, "for the final rite. Otherwise she'd be vulnerable, like the Mayor was. But there's no reason to involve anyone else in the earlier rites." She looks puzzled. "Unless..."
"Unless what?" asks Xander.
"Unless she's using the Books in another way. It doesn't seem like she's doing every rite. And she's using Dawn in them. I think she's planning something else entirely."
"Something to do with the Key," I say, grimly.
"And what about Faith herself?" speculates Willow, "She's a Slayer, not a human like the Mayor... who knows what she could be trying to do with the Books!"
"Or where she's doing it, at this point," Giles reminds us. I think of the fake suicide note again. I'm definitely not going to tell Dawn about it. Faith has manipulated her enough!
Dawn is still just staring at the spot where the vision had been. "No.... No...." she weeps, in a tiny, broken voice. "She loves me.... She loves me...." Tears flow down her sweet face.
Willow and Tara move to hold her, but she seems not to even notice. I feel a tear roll down my own cheek.
That's it. This ends today. I pick up my crossbow again. "It's all over, Dawn. She can't hurt you anymore."
She just keeps sobbing, and I am filled with the rage that only Faith can bring out in me. With one last look at my brokenhearted sister, I storm out the front door. "So help me God, I will kill her!"
I run full tilt into the dark-haired girl sitting on my front steps, and hear the sound of breaking bone. I tumble over her onto the lawn, dropping my bow. Springing to my feet in a fighting crouch, I evaluate whether to try for the bow before she does, or go right for her.
Our eyes meet, locked in a mutual glare that could melt steel.
~ Continue to Episode 7 – Broken ~
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If you enjoyed this story, try CV-1. Buffy agrees to a meeting with someone from her past. It's not what she expected.
I turn around. The woman's pissed. And wearing a uniform. What now? They think I can hide a weapon in this skirt? Maybe a sewing needle! "CV's this way."
CV? "But I..." I gesture helplessly toward the phones, getting more confused and nervous by the minute.
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