Disclaimer:: me (noun, first person, refering to thyself) no (negative :: positive;yes) own. (entitled too.) Me no own.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
This has lime to lemonish with ice. So be warned. Be warned for either offending actions or because this story has my first lemon scene...which I don't really think I went into much detail on, so breathe safely.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~
"Your rugged
breath besides me
now rapes my
redemption. Who will
redeem me now?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Redemption
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prologue
I'm not sure how it started. It slowly was acknowledge when I first looked at him. He was, in simple terms, beautiful. The sun walked across his neck, the sand kissed the corner of his lip. His eyes weren't really pretty though, no, they were too shocked and angered to acknowledge me.
I hated him for that.
But curiosity struck. I found a teenager boy on the beach who jumped up, kicked several guys off a sidewalk, and sped off in a government- funded vehicle.
I was hooked.
But I wasn't in love. No. Perhaps a mere crush after time, but for the most part I was interested in his lifestyle, his war, his gundam. Not him.
But slowly, my intrest was driven from need. It wasn't driven from passion. It wasn't even driven by desire. I wasn't sure what the need was on my behalf. Somehow, I knew my life fell short of destiny. As I had soon found out, my destiny was a princess. Wow, I could be compared to Snow-White, Sleeping Beauty, I was no different from them. Except for one thing. They had a prince on a white horse, but if I do remember correctly, Sleeping-Beauty's prince at the end of the movie's horse was a cream color.
My prince was just a fairytale. I couldn't help but smile each time I saw a frog though outside. My lips were tempted beyond words.
After sleepless nights, lonely dinners, and singing love tunes in the shower, I've admitted to myself, I'm empty. I'm an empty person. My symbol above all is passed down from my father, I didn't invent peace. I only promote it. Where is my say? My wisdom? Binded in a box tucked under my heart, next to the trash can of deleated dreams and wishes. That's where.
But still, I hadn't admitted that as my need. Sure, I was lonely, sure I couldn't find my point of living, but something else drove me more than any of those reasons. Heero Yuy. I was for peace, and so was he. Yet, our roads were different. I wondered if our roads had an intersection, and sure thing there was, with a big stop sign posted before it.
I got the hint. He didn't want me to follow him. I was a distraction. Well, he was a distraction for me. Fair enough. But each time I came across him, he seemed different from the time before. He was, to say, a man of moods.
All monotone, all different levels of emotions that I could sense like radio waves. What the code was to those waves, I wasn't sure. I spent hours in my room, with a candle lit in the corner, the one that was given to me by my brother, trying to understand who Heero was.
I was dumbstruck. Both by not able to find the answer to who he was, and awed of why I cared.
It was my need. Ever since that revelation sleezed it's way into my mind, I found my self searching for redemption, a remedy, a quinch to serve my thrist. I wanted to know him. But I wouldn't allow myself ever to. No. That was a road I would not endure. My need would be forgotten by the stacks of paper that crowded my desk, and his face would be only a lazy memory.
His need, however, I was only aware of when I arrive at his door.
His need for me to do a task at hand. To redeem his soundly nature. Silent sound that seeped into the cracks of my life. I wanted to hate him for that as well. For distracting me. Making me fall for him. To make me just be in awareness of his being.
I had my way of life. I was a symbol of peace. I was everything he wanted to be. I was a boring, lonely girl. I couldn't sleep at night, I would sit nude with a sheet wrapped around me as I watched the night fade away and the stars dissappear. In those nights I relized there was nothing special about the stars. They were peices of gas, stone, dirt. Why would I wish on that? Why would I wish at all?
I wouldn't think. I would just be, and curse absently his soul under my breath in the meanwhile.
I didn't want to help him. I didn't want to need him.
But he needed me to redeem him. To cure his pain, to kiss his tears, to hold him. To show him that he was loved. Known. Befriended and not alone.
But I didn't want to give him the satisfaction. I wanted him to suffer for the pain he caused me. But I have grown cold now. Emotionless, but cold as well.
Cold, as the air was that day.
I was stubborn. And I had planned on staying that way. But his soul was so deep, so even, so ...white...I couldn't resist. I needed it as much as him.
Oh yes. I needed it as much as him if not more. I needed to see the codes of his blood cells. To know the rhythem of his heart beats. To see his eyes while he took me into another world.
Redemption.
We both were seeking it. And in each other we saw the path to it's outreached hands.
I remember thinking when I left that night for a walk, "I wonder if I'll see Heero tonight." How many times do you see someone walking around town who usually is locked up in their room on a laptop? Not many. Somehow, now that I think back to that day, I knew I would end up at his apartment doors, soaked to the skin, emotionless. It wasn't fate. It was my own two feet simply taking me to his place. To cure him, or to cure myself. I'm not sure.
I wasn't aware of the encounterment I was going to have that night. Nor the impact it would have on my life. I was aware, however, of the rain outside. The repeated sound of the dripping gutter. The taste of it on the corner of my mouth. The sweet bitter rain.
Heero wasn't surprised to see me. But I could tell I had come when he was at his lowest. Or perhaps, this was his normal state and I had been too high to noticed. I was like that. Too busy to care, too busy to seek. But each time I saw him I started to break. Slowly, his aura penetrated my breath, broke the strength I held so deep, and shattered my ground so I was left on my knees with the remains of the dirt.
Grass stains on my knees.
He had the abilty to break me. Just as himself was broken.
I think that's what scared me the most. He was hurting, and I felt too foolish, too prideful, to meet him, to know him, and to redeem both of us that night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
author notes::
hey everyone. Nope, I'm not dead yet. Just having A LOT of delays. Please write me, I'd love to hear from ya.
-shev
~*Home*~
~*Back to Fan Fiction*~