Disclaimer mumbo jumbo: I don't own the Ronin Warriors (no kidding, right? :) they belong to Sunrise, etc. I'm not making any money off this (too bad ;) it's for your enjoyment only

Behind the Scenes

By CrystalStarGuardian

Email:crystalstarguardian@yahoo.com

"Behind The Scenes"

Crystal Star: okay, is everyone ready to start?

Kento: no, I'm gonna be sick. I had to eat 16 hamburgers in the last scene. I'm a vegetarian!

Dais: oh stop whining, atleast you got to keep both eyes!

Crystal Star: erm... speaking of which Dais, your eye patch is on the wrong eye

Dais: oopsy! ::switches eye patch to left eye::

Kale: ::runs up to Crystal Star Guardian, whining:: Star-chan! Tell the Ancient to stop hitting meeee! ::jumping from one foot to the next speedily::

Ancient: ::walks up and wacks Kale on the head with his staff:: stop being baby!

Kale: ouchie!!! ::holding head:: Ssssttttaaaarrrrrr!!!!

Crystal Star: ::grabs staff away from the Ancient:: what'd I tell you about that?

Ancient: ::reaching for the staff:: gimmie! mine!

Crystal Star: are you going to play nice?

Ancient: ah... ::thinks for a sec:: ...no

Crystal Star: then forget it

Ancient: but it MINE! ::starts jumping up and down:: mine mine mine!

Crystal Star: ::ignoring him:: where's everyone else!

Yuli and Mia: ::walk up to them, talking::

Yuli: and clearly, the situation is all futile. I mean, what dolt couldn't understand the possibility of average expenses and costs of choice realistate?

Mia: ::awed:: oh Yuli! your so smart!

Yuli: ::smug:: yes yes, I know

Crystal Star, Kale, Kento and Ancient: ¬¬.¬¬

Crystal Star: everyone else! get over here!

Cye: ::walks over eating a fish filet sandwich::

Kale: O.O!!! nooooo!!!! not fish! ahhhh!!! ::runs in a circle, yelling with his arms waving wildly in the air:: bad fish! Kale good boy!

Crystal Star: Kale it's okay! your a good boy, the fish is bad!

Kale: ::stops and looks at her hopeful:: Kale good boy?

Crystal Star: ::nods:: yes

Kale: fish bad?

Crystal Star: that's right ::wacks Cye on the head with the Ancient's staff::

Cye: yeow!! ::rubs his head::

Ancient: hey! my job hit people!

Crystal Star: ::once again, ignores the Ancient and glares at Cye:: you know Kale's traumatized by fish!

Cye: but it tastes so good!

Kento: ::groans:: please, don't mention food ::hiccups and covers mouth, looking a little green::

Crystal Star: ::sighs and looks around:: alright, where's Ryo, Kayura, Sage, Rowen, Sehkmet and Anubis?

Kayura: ::walks up, talking into a cell phone:: I told you NO! I am NOT working with Britney Spears in my new movie! I can't stand that slut! what? oh, well... you can... uhh... well fine! ::blows a raspberry into the phone and hangs up:: my agent is so fired!

Crystal Star: ::shakes her head:: I'm not commenting on that. where's everyone else!?

Rowen and Ryo: ::walk up to them, talking::

Ryo: but how'd you get her to DO that? I mean, no person in their right mind would just AGREE to do something like that in PUBLIC

Rowen: ::smirking:: Ryo, buddy, it's all in the accent

Ryo: oh?

Rowen: yeah, girls just adore guys with accents. especially New York ones

Kayura: damn straight! Rowen, my love!

Rowen: ah! keep it away!! ::runs from her::

Kayura: come back m'love! ::chases him, hearts in her eyes::

Ryo: ::looks at Crystal Star Guardian, who's surprisingly calm:: erm.. don't you care?

Crystal Star: nah, I have faith in Rowen. besides, he cheats on me and I'll give him to his fans, sans clothing ::grabs Ryo's shirt in a death grip:: now where have you been!?!

Ryo: ^.^;; uh... I got lost?

Crystal Star: oiy ve...

Sage: ::comes running up followed by Sehkmet:: NO! I will NOT give you a lock of my hair!

Sehkmet: but it's so purty! and smells like strawberries!

Sage: stay away! ::hides behind Crystal Star Guardian:: hide me! he's got scissors!

Crystal Star: Sehky, what'd I tell you about running with sharp objects?

Sehkmet: ::pauses to think:: um...... not to?

Crystal Star: very good

Sehkmet: ::throws scissors away:: okay... ::pulls out something from behind his back:: what about a blow torch instead??

Sage: ::screams highpitched, sounding like a girl:: stay away from meeee!!!

Crystal Star: ::takes Ancient's staff and bonks Sehkmet on the head, making him drop the blow torch:: knock it off! your starting to worry me...

Ancient: me bonk people!! ME!!!

Crystal Star: we're only missing Anubis. get over here Bissy!

Anubis: ::walks up carrying a snake:: look what I found!

Sehkmet: eeeek! don't come near me! it's slimey and has no legs!

Anubis: ::snickers and holds the snake out to Sehkmet:: come on, let him have a lil snakey lick

Sehkmet: ahhhhh!!! nooooo!!! ::faints::

Anubis: ::edges over to Dais:: I have something for you too

Dais: ::looking at him suspiciously:: uh.. what?

Anubis: this! ::pulls out a spider, which jumps onto Dais' head::

Dais: ahh!!! ::starts running around, shrieking:: it's in my hair! it's in my hair! it's. in. my. HAIR! get it out get it out!

Anubis: ::laughing hysterically:: XD!!!

Ancient: ::looks at Crystal Star hopeful:: me bonky?

Crystal Star: NO!

Ancient: ::pouts and crosses arms:: meany head!

Rowen: ::walks back over dragging Kayura, who's attached herself to his leg, and is sliding across the floor on her stomach:: get a crow bar! quick! she's cutting off the circulation!

Crystal Star: Kento, would you please..?

Kento: okay ::walks over and yanks Kayura off Rowen, almost ripping his pants in the process::

Kayura: ::reaching desperately for Rowen:: nooooo!!! my love! return to me!!

Rowen: no way in Hell! ::turns to find Crystal Star Guardian glaring at him, her arms crossed:: uh oh..

Crystal Star: ::looks less then pleased:: Rowen Hashiba-

Rowen: don't hit me! I love you... ::clings to her, balling hysterically::

Crystal Star: ack! ::tries to pry him off, he only tightens his hold:: Rowen! let me go!

Rowen: ::not listening and keeps balling::

Kayura: ::falls to her knees in dispair:: noooooo!

Cye: ::raises an eyebrow:: are we going to start any time soon? or can I go get another fish sand-

Kale: O.O!! fish!!!! ahhhh!!!

Crystal Star: Cye!

~*Some Time Later*~

Crystal Star: okay, is everyone ready?

Everyone: yes!

Crystal Star: good! start!

Ryo: ::holding his katanas and looking angrily at the Warlords:: we'll never allow you or your master to win!

Anubis: ::laughs:: foolish boy! do you think.. ::blinks, watching Sage dance around behind Ryo, his knees together:: erm...

Crystal Star: Sage! what's wrong with you?

Sage: ::bending his knees, wiggling slightly:: I hafta pee!

Everyone: -.-;;

Crystal Star: why didn't you go before putting on your full armor?

Sage: I didn't have to at the time! ::jumping around and whimpering:: Star-chan! Please! I'm going to explode!

Crystal Star: fine! but hurry!

Sage: kay! ::runs speedily towards the bathroom::

~*~

Crystal Star: come on Kento, you have to eat them. it's in the script

Kento: no way! ::pushes the food away:: yuck!

Ancient: ::strodes over and wacks Kento on the head with his staff, then stuffs a burger in his mouth:: eat!

Crystal Star: hey! how'd you get that back?!

Ancient: ::points at Sehkmet:: him

Crystal Star: ::glares at the Warlord:: Sehky! how could you!

Sehkmet: but he gave me CHEESE!

Dais: behold, the power of cheese!

Kento: ::swallows the burger, then slaps a hand over his mouth and runs away::

Crystal Star: oh great...

Rowen: ::runs over and glomps onto Crystal Star Guardian from behind:: hide me! Kayura's gone mad! she's quoting Shakespear sonets of love!

Kayura: ::runs over:: what light, on yonder window breaks! it is the stars! and Rowen is the

moon!

Rowen: ahhh! Star-chan! tell her to leave me alone! please! I'll be good I swear!

Crystal Star: ::breaks out of Rowen's hold, only to be glomped onto by him again:: Kayura, Rowen's not your type

Kayura: he's not? how come?

Crystal Star: ::trying to yank her arm free of his grasp:: because he's gay

Kayura: ::blinks a few times:: really?

Crystal Star: yup

Kayura: okay ::walks away::

Rowen: oh thank you! wait... ::lets her go:: I'm not gay! am I? ::watches Anubis walk by to test himself, then shakes his head:: nope, I'm certainly not!

Crystal Star: thank kami. I only said that so she'd leave you alone

Rowen: oh!

Kayura: ::runs back:: I don't care if your gay Rowen! I'll change you!!

Rowen: ack! ::falls to his knees and latches onto Crystal Star Guardian's waist:: it didn't work! help me! ::starts balling again::

Crystal Star: -.-;;

~*~

Mia and Yuli: ::wrapped back to back by a chain and are being held captive by a soldier:: help

us!

Ryo: ::takes a step forward:: let them go! or else!

Soldier: ::laughs:: or else what?

Ryo: ::opens his mouth to answer, but's stopped when Cye puts his hand on his shoulder::

Cye: Ryo, lets not, and say we did. okay?

Ryo: we can do that? okay! who wants doughnuts?

Cye, Sage and Rowen: ME!

Ryo: right! to the snack table!

::the four of them run off::

Kento: I think I'll have some tea ::walks off::

Soldier: huh?

Mia and Yuli: ::blink a few times::

Yuli: hey you good for nothing dolts! what about us??

Mia: now what Yuli?

Yuli: how the Hell should I know?

Mia: ::giggles:: oh Yuli! your my hero! so bright and small!

Crystal Star: note to self... get new actors... hey! I wonder if the Dragonball Z gang need jobs! ::walks off to contemplate::

Soldier: I'm not getting paid enough for this. I'm calling my agent ::drops Mia and Yuli then stomps off::

Mia: ::starts singing off-key:: just the two of us! we can make it if we try! just the two of us! you and I!

Yuli: ::fallen under Mia, kicking violently:: get her off! she's heavier then she looks! can't... breath... ahh!

~*~

Crystal Star: okay, let's TRY not to mess this one up!

::the Ronins are facing Talpa, who's very large::

Sage: this is where it ends Talpa!

Talpa: your armors belong to me! when will you fools realize this!

Rowen: ::mumbling:: I'm not a fool... I'm smart... ::sniffles::

Kento: ::pats his shoulder comfortingly:: we know, it's okay buddy

::a sound like a loud zipper explodes into the air::

Kale: what the Hell was that!?

Cye: eww! what's that smell?

Dais: somebodies baking brownies!

Ryo: ::covers his nose:: it was Talpa!

Crystal Star: gross! I told you not to eat those beans!

Talpa: I have a gas disorder! it's not my fault!

Anubis: anyone have Lysol?

Sehkmet: no one light a match!

Sage: whew! I hope you didn't blow a hole in your armor!

Kento: hey Cye, I bet he's asking himself, "do farts have lumps?"

Cye: ::goes hysterical:: XD!!!

Kayura: it's making my hair frizz!

~*~

::the Ronins are all standing in a circle back to back, as Nether Spirits float around them::

Sage: now what? we can't call on our armors because of the spirits

Ryo: ummm... maybe we should uhh..

Rowen: ::reaches out slightly:: what'll happen if I touch em?

Cye: I don't know, try it

Rowen: okay ::starts to put out his hand, but pulls it back quickly:: wait! I don't trust you Cye! you wanted to leave me in space!

Cye: who told?!

::suddenly, five guys in gray jump suits with metal backpacks run up::

Kento: who the Hell are you?

Guy 1: we're the Ghost Busters!

Guy 2: we got an anonymous call there were ghosts here ::one of the Nether Spirits float through him. he giggles like a school girl and jumps onto Guy 3:: hold me!

Guy 3: O.O ahh! ::drops him::

Rowen: that woulda happened to ME?! ::glares at Cye:: you knew didn't you??

Cye: ...I choose not to answer

Ancient: ::comes running over with his staff above his head:: people bonk! people bonk!

mwahahahahaha!

Ghost Busters: ahhh! mad old guy with stick! run away run away! ::make a mad dash out of there, the Ancient right behind them, gleefully bonking::

Crystal Star: well... that was entertaining

~*~

Mia: Rio, be careful!

Ryo: for the last time, my name is Ryo!

Mia: oohhh! Reo!

Ryo: Ryo!

Mia: Rou?

Ryo: Ryo!

Mia: Ronald?

Ryo: Ryo!

Mia: Rufus?

Ryo: Ryo!!

Mia: ah, okay. sorry Billy

Ryo: gawd! ::walks away::

Mia: where're you going Ringo?

~*~

Crystal Star: okay, this is the LAST SCENE! Can we TRY not to blooper?

Mia: I think we've been doing quite good

Ryo: :raises an eyebrow at her:: and I think your a moron

Kento: good answer!

Yuli: ::goes running by, yelling:: WHITE BLAZE HAS GONE MAD!

White Blaze: ::looks rather hungry as he chases Yuli::

Everyone: O.O;

Crystal Star: it was only a matter of time ^__^

Rowen: if I didn't know any better, I'd think you planned that..

Crystal Star: well it's a good thing you don't know any better, isn't it Ro ::smirking:: okay, I give up. who wants to go out for pizza?

Everyone: ME!!

Crystal Star: lets go, you silly excuses for actors

::they leave, locking the doors::

Yuli: ::pounds on them:: heeey! don't leave me alone with the tiger! ahh!

The End! ^_~