Standard Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is owned by Bandai, I think. If it's not, then it's owned by someone else.

Duo and Arys Make Breakfast (or Burn Breakfast, if you prefer)

"Arys! Hey, Arys! Wake up!"

The sixth pilot turned over in her bed and groaned, pulling her pillow over her head. She took a peek at her visitor from underneath the pillow and saw Duo Maxwell standing a few feet away, dressed in jeans and a white T-shirt that said "Wassup!" on the front.

"Go away, Duo," She growled. She closed her eyes.

Duo went over to the bed, picked up the side of her mattress, and lifted the edge until Arys rolled off the bed.

"Ow!" Arys landed with a loud thud on the floor, tangled in a mass of sheets and pillows. She leaped to her feet, her gray eyes blazing. "Duo Maxwell, what time is it, why are you bothering me, and if this isn't for a good reason, I'm going to kill you!"

Duo smiled at her benignly. "It's 7 o' clock in the morning, and it's our turn to make breakfast. I think that's a good enough reason."

Arys scratched her head and yawned widely. Then, she glared at Duo. "Can't you make it yourself?"

The Gundam pilots were spending the weekend at Relena's house on the shores of the Mediterranean. The Gundam pilots were rotating cooking the meals since none of them were any good at cooking anyway.

"Better to eat everyone's lousy cooking rather than just one person's lousy cooking," Quatre had said.

Duo crossed his arms over his chest and gave her a determined look. "I'm not moving until you agree to help me."

"Fine, get out of here while I get ready."

Duo smiled and left the room, closing the door behind him.

Arys crept back into bed. "He can wait out there until the sun goes back down. I'm NOT making breakfast." She turned over on her side.

__________

Outside Arys' room, Duo listened at the door. He could not hear any movement at all in there. Duo narrowed his eyes.

"Hmm..." Then, he snapped his fingers. "I bet she got back into bed."

Duo rubbed his hands together with an evil grin. "And I know what'll get her out of it."

Just then, Heero walked by, polishing his gun with a white cloth. Duo stopped him. "Hiya, Heero! Just the guy I want to see!"

Heero looked at him suspiciously. "What do you want, Duo?"

Duo put an arm around Heero's shoulders. "I need you to do a little favor for me."

He whispered something in Heero's ear. The Perfect Soldier's eyes actually lit up and he patted his gun.

_________

Arys was sound asleep again when there was a loud crack in her room and the sound of shattering glass. Arys leaped out of bed, scrabbling for the gun under her mattress. She swung her gun around, trying to find the intruder through her bleary vision. She finally saw Heero standing by the open doorway. She looked from Heero to the window glass lying on the floor. She placed her gun back under the mattress.

"Heero? What do you think you're doing?"

Heero looked down at his smoking gun. "Hmm... I missed."

Arys walked up to him, now wide awake. "Heero."

"I was aiming for that figurine there." He pointed to a ceramic angel sitting on the dresser.

Arys rolled her eyes. "Give me that." She took Heero's gun, sighted down it, and shot the angel to pieces. She nodded with satisfaction. "There you go." She gave Heero back his gun. Then, she saw Duo standing in the hallway.

"Oh, hi, Duo." Arys looked puzzled. "Nice shirt."

"Thanks." Duo grinned at her. "It's our turn for breakfast, Arys."

"Oh, yeah." Arys grimaced. "Well, let me change and then we can get to the kitchen."

Heero left the room, closing the door behind him. Duo winked at him.

"Thanks, Heero."

"No problem." Heero continued down the hallway, pulling out his white polishing cloth as he walked.

____________

"Okay, what's the menu, Master Chef?" Arys asked as Duo handed her an apron.

"Pancakes." Duo put on his apron. It said "I LIKE SUSHI" across the front.

"Figures." Arys held up the apron Duo had handed to her. She read what the front said with widened eyes. "KISS THE COOK! I can't wear this!"

Duo looked at her indifferently. "Why not?" A smile threatened to break out on his face.

"I don't want anybody kissing me!"

Duo raised his hands. "Lower your voice, Arys! No one's going to kiss you, okay?"

"Hmph..." Arys glared at him just for good measure and tied the apron behind her with a savage pull. "If anyone does, I'm slapping you, Duo."

Duo grinned. "Fine."

___________

"Uh, Duo, is this supposed to be flaming like this?"

Duo groaned as Arys waved a hand at the fire licking at the pan, more like filling the pan actually. The poor pancake was probably toast by now.

"Here, Arys. Why don't you take care of the pancake mix?"

Arys looked at him warily. "Sure. I think I can handle that."

"Just follow the directions, all right?"

Arys picked up the box of pancake mix and skimmed the directions. She nodded. "Yeah, I can handle this."

Duo turned down the flame on the stove and tossed the pancake into the air. It hit the ceiling with a clang and then landed on Duo's head on the way to the floor.

"Ouch!" Duo eyed the black disk now lying on the floor.

Heero walked into the kitchen, without his gun this time. He saw Arys working at the counter in front of him, then read the words on the front of her apron.

"Hmm... Don't mind if I do." He came around the counter.

Arys turned just as Heero grabbed her around the waist and kissed her, right on the nose. Arys glared at Heero, pushing him away. She stalked over to Duo, who was busy trying to scrape the soot off the pan. She tapped him on the shoulder.

"What is it now, Arys?" He halfway turned around.

Whap! Duo stumbled back, putting a hand to the red mark forming on his cheek. "What was that for?"

Arys pointed a finger at Heero accusingly, who was watching the whole scene with an innocent look on his face. "He kissed me!"

"Heero!" Duo said, his blue eyes blazing with fury.

"Her apron said to."

"That doesn't mean anything!"

Heero looked at them both impassively. "I'll be in the dining area." He walked out of the kitchen.

Next, Quatre came in. "What's cooking?" He sniffed the air and frowned. "Actually, make that, 'what's burning?'"

He smiled at Arys. His eyes scanned the front of her apron.

"Really?" He jumped forward and kissed Arys on the cheek.

Arys stood there in enraged silence for a few moments as Quatre walked up to Duo. "I didn't know that you liked sushi, Duo."

"I give up!" Arys threw off her apron and with a growl, stalked out of the kitchen. "I'm going out."

"Quatre, look what you did." Duo picked Arys' apron up off the floor.

"Her apron said to."

"I know her apron said to!" Duo tried to calm himself as he pulled off his own apron. "You shouldn't follow everything you read, you know!"

Quatre read the "Wassup!" scrawled across the front of Duo's T-shirt. "Not much. What's up with you?"

Duo groaned. He put a hand on Quatre's shoulder. "C'mon, Quatre. I think we should just go out for breakfast."

Trowa peeked his head into the kitchen. "Hey, Duo! Where are Arys and Heero going? They just peeled out of the driveway in one of the cars."

"Which one?"

"I think it was yours."

Duo groaned again. "I never should have given Arys the keys."

"Oh, Arys wasn't driving. Heero was."

"That's even worse."

"Let's go, Duo. We'll follow them in my car," Quatre said, pulling Duo out of the kitchen.

"If we can catch up to them. You know how Heero drives."

"Like a maniac." Wufei spoke up from his position at the dining room table. "Are we going out to eat?"

"Looks like it," Trowa replied.

"Guys," Duo said before they walked out the front door, "remind me never to team up with Arys for breakfast again."

Quatre grinned. "Why do you think we stuck her with you?"

"What?"

Author's notes: Yet another wacky story from the mind of an obsessed Gundam Wing fan. Don't ask me where I came up with the storyline because I sure don't know. It just popped into my head while I was sitting at the computer staring at a brand-spanking-new WordPad document with nothing on it. Hmm... Wonder if blank screens are the true inspiration for authors. You have this urge to put something on it and then you end up typing anything that comes to your head (like what I'm doing now :-) My first humor fic involving Arys Walker. Hope you all though it was sort of funny :-)

P.S. And yes, I know that it's a stupid title :-) but well, it describes the story perfectly. I couldn't very well call it "A Day That will Live in Infamy", could I?