The Gundam Pilots Go To A Restaurant...

Description: The...um... "sequel" to Duo and Arys Make Breakfast. (And yes, I know there aren't any IHOPs in Europe, but think of it this way, by this time, IHOP's become an international chain. )

Arys perused the menu in front of her with a frown. She and Heero had come to IHOP for breakfast. Arys had to confess that she did not have much of an appetite after experiencing Heero's driving. Half the trip she had spent clinging to the door handle, yelling for him to slow down. But he had just given her a wicked grin and pressed his foot down harder on the accelerator. Right when Arys was sure she was going to die of fright, Heero had pulled into the IHOP parking lot and expertly found a place.

"Honestly, Arys, you're a Gundam pilot. You should be able to handle my driving." Heero pulled down the top edge of Arys' menu so that he could see her face.

She glared at him, yanking the menu away from his hand. Her voice drifted to him through the paper. "For your info, Speedy, a Gundam is nothing like a car. A car weighs... what... one ton or less? That's not a lot of metal to keep you from becoming chopped liver."

Heero hated making Arys angry. Her glares were almost as bad as his own. He sighed. "Arys, if I promise not to drive like that with you in the car anymore, will you please talk to me civilly?"

"Hmph." Arys lowered the menu, but her eyes were still stormy. "I was being civil."

"No, you weren't."

"Yes, I was."

The waitress interrupted their almost-argument. "May I take your order?"

Arys was still glowering at Heero as she answered. "I'll take the Belgian...."

"She'll take the same as me."

The waitress smiled. "The usual?"

"Yes."

"You got it." The waitress moved off to another table.

Arys was shocked speechless. She rose to leave the table and almost made it when Heero grabbed her wrist and pulled her back down, next to him. They were seated in a booth so there was plenty of room.

"You... What... How...?" Arys shook her head, a totally confused look on her face.

"Don't even try to figure it out, Arys. It's too early in the morning."

"You... you come here everyday."

Heero leaned back, and put his hands behind his head in Duo-fashion. "Ever since we got here. I couldn't survive on the cooking back at the house."

"You got that right," Arys muttered.

"Look who's talking."

A loud whistle caused both Heero and Arys to turn around and stare at the restaurant entrance. The whistler was Duo and behind him were Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei (in that order).

Duo walked right by the host, who looked ready to blow up at Duo's rudeness. He stopped at Heero and Arys' table. He grinned down at them. "Well, aren't we comfy and cozy?" He poked Arys in the arm. "Were you not going to invite us, Arys?"

Arys scooted over, closer to Heero. She glared up at Duo.

"Have a seat," She said with a scowl on her face.

"Sure..." Duo waved over the rest of the gang. "C'mon, you guys!"

Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei slid into the empty seat across from Heero, Arys, and Duo. For a few moments, the table was completely silent. Arys sat with her arms crossed, her eyes down. Apparently, she did not feel much like talking. Duo was busy studying the menu. He knew exactly why Arys wasn't talking. She was angry with him. Wufei was playing with a Chinese finger puzzle. A few times he got so stuck Trowa would have to reach over and get his fingers out from the small roll of paper.

Wufei looked down at the finger puzzle with contempt. "Thanks."

Trowa had to smile. "No problem."

Quatre stared out the window, obviously daydreaming. About what, no one had a clue.

And Heero. Heero was reaching for Arys' arm.

"OUCH!" Arys jumped to her feet, hit her head on the low hanging chandelier above their table, and almost landed in Duo's lap.

Duo's menu went flying into the air and plopped right on top of Quatre's head. Quatre snapped out of his daydreams and slowly pulled the menu off the top of his head to look at it. "Hey, they've got waffles!"

"Heero…" Arys hissed something under her breath and scrambled back to her seat. "That HURT!"

Heero glanced at her, trying to stifle his laughter. "It was supposed to."

Duo had a sheepish look on his face. "That was sooo embarrassing." He waved off the numerous stares at their table and slowly the restaurant atmosphere returned to its normal high-level buzz of conversation. "That's all folks, nothing to see. Eat your pancakes."

"Okay, you two…" The waitress came to their table with two plates full of pancakes. She stopped short when she saw how many people were sitting at the booth. "What's going on here? Am I at the wrong…?" Then she saw Heero and Arys sitting close to the window. "Uh, here's your order, Heero."

"Thanks."

"'Scuse me, lady," Duo said as the waitress set her burden down on the table. She did a double take when she noticed the chandelier sitting in the middle of the table in pieces. "Could you take our orders too?" Duo motioned to himself and the other three Gundam pilots.

"Sure…" The waitress pulled out her notebook, still staring at the chandelier. In all her years working here, she had never had a chandelier fall off the ceiling. "And I'll have someone come, um, clean up this mess."

"That'd be great. There isn't enough room on this table to eat," Heero said.

Arys elbowed him in the ribs, hard.

"Ouch!" Heero dropped the piece of pancake he was about to shove into his mouth on his pants. Arys gave him a wicked grin. "That hurt!"

Arys put a hand on his shoulder and whispered, "It was supposed to. And it's your fault that chandelier's on the table."

Heero rubbed his chest where she had elbowed him. "You're the one who jumped."

Arys looked ready to sock him one. "You're the one who PINCHED me!"

"Someone needed to do it."

"Why you…"

Duo sighed. The waitress had asked him for the third time what he wanted and whenever Duo replied, she had not been able to hear him because of Arys and Heero's argument. Finally, Duo yelled at the top of his lungs. "I JUST WANT FIVE PANCAKES! And some bacon, please. Hmm, maybe some hashed browns would be nice. Actually, I had a big dinner last night, so I'll just have the pancakes. Wait! Who's buying?"

Again, the restaurant was so silent you could have heard Zechs' helmet fall off. Unfortunately, all you could hear at that moment was a plate crash to the floor in the kitchen.

The waitress sighed. "Five pancakes, okay. What'll it be for you three?"

Trowa spoke up this time. "I'll have the Fresh n' Fruity Rooty Tooty Sweet-Patootie Grand Slam Whiz Bang Stack of Pancakes Meal, please. "

Everyone at the table turned toward Trowa with a look of confusion on their faces.

"You'll have to excuse him. He's a little weird in the morning." Wufei snatched the menu out of Trowa's hands. "One more time, Clown Boy. Tell the nice lady what you want for breakfast."

"Uh, five pancakes please." Trowa said sheepishly.

Quatre was silent during this whole exchange. He scanned the menu. "How do you come up with these ridiculous names? They don't sound appealing at all."

The waitress' face fell. She had had enough. "Look kid, just tell me what you want or else all you get is a glass of water."

"All righty then, I'll have the Fresh and Fruity Rooty-Tooty …" Wufei grabbed the menu and smacked Quatre upside the head with it.

"Hey, what was that for! It's really on the menu!" Quatre pointed at the selection.

Wufei looked at it and put his face in his hands. "Waitress, just get us all five pancakes, please."

The waitress forced a smile for them. "Thank you." She scurried away from the table, glad to get away for the moment. She didn't even mention the morning special.

Duo turned to Heero and Arys. Both were still glaring daggers at each other. "I think you two should get your own table."

"WHAT?" Heero and Arys said at the same time. "WE WERE HERE FIRST!"

Duo shrugged. "Well, it's obvious you two like each other. And you're embarrassing us."

Arys grinned wickedly at Heero. "Want me to hold him?"

Heero nodded, his grin matching Arys'. Duo scooted over, close to the edge of the seat. He poised to run. He wasn't fast enough.

Arys pounced on top of him and straddled him so that Duo was lying down on the seat. Heero looked down at Duo sympathetically.

"You asked for this, Duo. Here's your five pancakes." Heero dumped his plate on Duo's face, pancakes, butter, syrup, strawberries, and all. Duo sputtered angrily. Then, he brightened, licking his lips.

"Say, that's not bad. Can I change my order?"

Heero left his plate on Duo's face. Duo kept murmuring about how good the food tasted. Arys and Heero high-fived.

"Was there a chandelier at this table that needed to be cleaned up?" A busboy came by with a bucket and a sponge.

"It's right there, buddy." Trowa pointed to the mess still sitting in the middle of the table. "But I don't think a bucket is going to help much."

The busboy saw Arys still straddling Duo on the seat. He peeked over the edge of the table to see the spilled plate lying on Duo's face. "Looks like you do need a sponge here."

Arys stood up and motioned to Duo with a superior look. "Take him away, busboy."

"Come on, Mister. We'll get you cleaned up in the restroom."

Duo obediently stood to his feet and followed the busboy. "Hey, can I change my order?"

Arys took the sponge the busboy had left and scrubbed off the seat with it. Heero wiped it down with a napkin and pulled Arys down onto the seat again. She glanced at the empty place in front of him.

"But, Heero, what are you going to eat?"

"I'll share with you."

Arys pushed her plate over so that they could both eat off the plate at the same time. "Dig in."

"Hey, he forgot to take the chandelier." Wufei observed as Arys and Heero finished off their breakfast.

Trowa stood up and grabbed the chandelier. "Here, I'll put it on this table." He scooted off the seat and dumped the whole thing onto the table behind them.

The waitress came by their table again. This time she carried their orders. "Okay, four orders of five pancakes." She placed plates in front of Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei. Then, she got to Duo's plate. She glanced around. "Where's the guy with the braid?"

"Oh, he'll be back." Arys patted the spot on the table next to her. "Just put it here."

"Well, all right." The waitress put the plate down and moved off, glad for another break from this particularly difficult table.

Heero leaned over and whispered something in Arys' ear. She cuffed him affectionately on the arm and picked up Duo's plate. She put it on the seat beside her. Arys scooted closer to Heero and smiled at him. "I like the way you think, Yuy."

"It comes naturally."

Duo soon came back. He saw that Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei were busily eating. "Hey, where's my…?" He sat down.

The expression on Duo's face was priceless. His mouth twisted into a knowing smirk, his eyes began to shoot off sparks, and he leaped to his feet. "I'll be right back." Duo dashed out the door.

Fifteen minutes later, Duo still wasn't back and Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei had already finished eating.

"Where is that guy?" Wufei asked.

"Who knows?" Trowa shrugged in reply. "You two had better watch out. I bet Duo's pretty upset with you."

Arys waved him off. "He'll get over it. Besides…"

A deafening creak from the roof interrupted her. And suddenly, the roof was gone. The Deathscythe peered into the restaurant and its eyes fell on Heero and Arys. The eyes flashed green.

"AHHHHH!" All five of the pilots on the ground screamed in terror.

"Duo! What do you think you're doing?" Arys yelled up at him.

"It's payback time." Duo's voice filtered through the Gundam's comm system.

The Deathscythe picked up a huge pot of maple syrup from who knows where and held it up. A waterfall of syrup fell in a warm wave. The five pilots groaned as the sticky substance covered them completely.

The waitress came by one last time. Her expression was blank and she hardly seemed to notice what was going on above the table. Her feet stuck in the river of syrup at her feet.

She slapped something onto the table. It stayed as if it were glued there. "Here's your check."

She slogged away.

Heero pulled it off, trying to read the bill through the syrup covering the numbers. "What?" Heero keeled over in a dead faint, right into Arys' arms. She supported Heero's shoulders with one arm as she picked up the bill with the other hand. She looked at it curiously.

"What does it say?" Quatre asked.

"The owner wants to sell us the restaurant."

Trowa began to laugh. The others soon joined in. Of course, the restaurant was silent, all the customers had left as soon as the Deathscythe had shown up. In fact, it was so quiet, you could hear the syrup still pouring out of the Deathscythe's pot.

Standard Disclaimer: I don't own IHOP.

Author's notes: Don't you all just hate these things. The author just has to stick her two cents in. Well, here's my two cents: My brother helped me on this one so there are actually two authors of this story. He wrote all the funny parts :-) I promise not to write anymore Humorous GW meal stories. I'll have to think of something else next time :-)