Heero shoved his hands into his pockets and sighed. For once, he was actually dressed in a normal outfit, blue jeans, a T-shirt, and a blue Hawaiian shirt. (Hard to imagine, isn't it?) He and Relena were at the local mall, shopping. Actually, Relena was doing the shopping. Heero just tagged along behind her with that impassive look on his face.
"Relena, how long will this take?"
Relena bounced ahead of him and gave him that sugary smile of hers. "Only a couple of hours."
Heero's eyes widened slightly. That was his usual way of expressing surprise. "Hmm..."
Relena glared at him as she bounced back to his side and took his arm. "What are you 'hmming' about?"
"Do they have any good arcades around here?"
Relena batted his arm with her hand. "You're staying right here with me, Heero Yuy!"
Heero suppressed a groan. Talking to Relena was bad enough, but following her around like an obedient dog was worse. "Why?"
Relena squealed in delight as they came upon a clothing store that she loved to shop at. She darted into the store, dragging Heero after her. "To hold my packages, silly!"
Heero sweatdropped. "Great."
Five hours later...
Heero somehow managed to shove yet another shopping bag underneath his arm. Already he was holding five shopping bags. Sometimes he wished Relena was not so rich. The girl spent money as if it were water!
"Oh, look, Heero! The Disney Store! I have to go in there!"
Heero gave her 'the look.' "What in the world for?"
"I've been wanting a Mickey Mouse pen for the longest time! I have to get one!"
Heero sighed again. At least it was something small this time. Relena had just picked up a food processor at a kitchen appliance store and it was precariously hanging from underneath his other arm. She had said she needed the food processor for her kitchen. He briefly wondered why she even needed the thing. She had more than enough servants to chop up vegetables for her.
Heero followed Relena into the store and tried to look inconspicuous as Relena searched for the pen. It was kind of hard to do since people kept mistaking him for a display and running into him.
"Oh, sorry 'bout that."
The voice was familiar, and Heero resisted the urge to drop his burdens and run away, but he stood his ground as a head peeked around a bag at his face.
"Heero, is that you?"
Duo.
Heero groaned.
The second Gundam pilot came around and stood in front of Heero, eyeing him up and down. He grinned. "Heero, what are you doing here?" Then, he caught sight of Relena's head bobbing up and down at a display a few feet away. His grin widened. "Never mind."
Duo glanced over at the three other Gundam pilots who were laughing hysterically as they watched the huge video screen at the back of the store.
"That has got to be the dumbest cartoon I've ever seen." Wufei stood with his arms crossed. If he had been in zero gravity, he would have been meditating.
"I bet you watched a ton of cartoons when you were younger." Quatre said in between laughs.
"I didn't have a childhood."
Quatre scratched his head, his laughs immediately stopped. "Oh."
Trowa could not stop laughing, which was unusual for him.
"That was great!" He commented on the scene that had just flashed onto the screen.
Duo ran over to them and slung a hand around Trowa and Quatre's shoulders. He jerked his head in Heero's direction.
"Hey, guys! Look who's here!"
Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei followed Duo over to where Heero was standing.
"Hi, Heero!" They all said simultaneously, all three trying to hide the smirks on their faces.
Heero didn't reply. He was going to kill Relena. He wondered why he hadn't done it sooner. "What are you guys doing here?"
"Hanging out," Duo replied. "Can't say the same for yourself, can you?"
Heero growled something deep in his throat, and then threw the bags on the ground. Duo looked at Heero in shock. He hadn't been able to see Heero's outfit with all the bags in the way. The guy was actually dressed in something decent!
"Hey! Nice shirt!"
Heero grabbed Duo's collar and slammed him down among the bags. "Watch those for a second."
Duo sprawled on the ground, faceup. The three other pilots just looked at each other and shrugged. They helped Duo to his feet and then proceeded to do as Heero had told them. Customers walking through the store soon gathered around them, wondering why a pile of bags would have four boys so mesmerized.
Heero stomped over to where Relena was still looking for that pen and grabbed the right one off the shelf. He shoved it in Relena's face and then marched her over to the register.
"She'll take this." Heero glared at the cashier and motioned to the pen in Relena's hand.
The cashier nervously pulled at his collar. "Um. Sure. That'll be 3 dollars."
Heero pulled a five dollar bill from his pocket and threw it at the cashier. "Keep the change." He dragged Relena away from the register counter.
He stopped in surprise when he saw that there was a huge crowd of people gathered around Relena's shopping bags on the ground. He slapped his forehead.
"Great!" He let go of Relena's arm and leaped forward, shoving his way through the crowd until he made it to the middle of the circle.
"Duo!"
Duo was crouched down on the floor, rummaging through one of the bags. He held up a box and smiled at Heero.
"Check it out, Heero!" Duo waved the box at him. "They've got action figures of us now!"
Heero glanced back to see that Relena had followed him through the crowd. "Relena..." He hadn't known about her purchase of the Gundam pilot action figures. He had waited outside, not wishing to embarrass himself by looking at kid's playthings, while Relena shopped in the toy store.
"I couldn't resist, Heero! They were so cute!"
"Argghh..."
A girl in the crowd suddenly shrieked. "You guys are Gundam pilots!" She pulled out a notebook and shoved it in Wufei's face. "Can I have your autographs? Please?"
Wufei wanted to push the girl away but he smiled tightly and took the notebook. "Sure. Do you have a pen, Woman?"
The girl nearly swooned. "I love it when you say that!"
Wufei muttered something under his breath. He turned to Heero. "Do you have a pen, Heero?"
Heero shook his head, then his eyes suddenly widened and he turned to Relena. He snatched the Disney store paper bag from her arms and whipped out the Mickey Mouse pen. He tossed it to Wufei.
"Here."
"Hey, that's mine!" Relena whined.
"Tough."
Wufei signed the girl's notebook and handed it to her. "Here."
"Oh thank you thank you thank you!" The girl said over and over. Wufei was tempted to put his hands over his ears. The girl had obviously drunk too much coffee that morning. She was practically bouncing up and down with happiness. Wufei sighed and watched her happiness act patiently.
"Don't you want mine?" Duo asked the girl.
She stared at him for a few seconds and then hesitantly gave him her notebook. "I... I guess so."
"Excuse me! Excuse me!" The cashier pushed his way through the crowd until he was standing in front of Heero. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave. You're endangering the Disney franchise."
The people gathered around the Gundam pilots and screaming for their autographs began to scream for the cashier's death. The cashier's face filled with horror as he was mobbed by dozens of enraged Gundam Wing fans. He disappeared underneath a mass of waving arms.
"Down with Disney! Gundam Wing rules!" The people shouted.
Quatre glanced at Duo. "Now's the time to make our escape."
"Right." Duo slapped his GW hat back on his head and sauntered out of the store. "Let's go, guys. No use staying around here."
Wufei was still trying to get the image of that girl's crazed face out of his mind. Trowa, being the usual quiet person he was, had escaped getting harrassed at all. Quatre had been kind to all his fans (a small number of them. Personally, I like Quatre, but he isn't my favorite) and of course, he had signed all their Quatre Raberba Winner posters. Duo was miffed that Wufei's fan hadn't wanted his autograph, and Heero left Relena standing in the midst of her shopping bags.
"Heero? What about my stuff?"
Heero looked back at her.
"Hey, Heero. Here's that pen." Wufei handed Heero Relena's Mickey Mouse pen.
Heero took it and tossed it to Relena. His face was emotionless. "Have your fans help you."
Relena turned around to see five adoring fans staring at her with adoring eyes. All of them looked like Dorothy.
"Um..."
"Miss Relena! Will you sign this picture for me?" The Dorothy clones said in unison. They waved glossies at her.
Relena looked down at the pen in her hand and back at the girls. She threw the pen down and ran off, screaming. "Get away from me!" She was going so fast, she flashed right by the five Gundam pilots walking out of the store. The G-boys watched as she disappeared around a corner, five Dorothy look-alikes right behind her.
Heero shook his head. "The poor girl."
Duo put his hands behind his head and grinned widely. "What do you guys say to some pizza and soda?"
"As long as it's non-alcoholic," Quatre replied.
Trowa looked at Quatre wonderingly. "Quatre, soda is non-alcoholic."
"I was talking about the pizza."
"Quatre, are you feeling all right?"
"I'll do anything to get away from here," Heero said, glancing around at all the stores he had gone to with Relena. Already they brought back bad memories and he hadn't even left the mall yet.
"Help! Someone please help me!" The cashier yelled vainly above the sound of the crowd that had gone mad. They were getting violent and kept slapping his head around as if it were a ping pong ball.
He decided then and there to quit his job.
"I don't even like Mickey Mouse!" He groaned.
Author's notes: If you all thought this story was stupid, you're right; it was. But I was bored and wanted to write a semi-funny GW fanfic. So here it is, or was. I don't know why I picked on Disney. Maybe because they're the only studio store we've got nearby. Now, if I had been able to pick on Warner Brothers. Now, that would have been fun! Pokemon vs. Gundam Wing! Which one will win?
