Hey this is Melissa. This is kind of a depressing fic but I like it. Well, Enjoy!

A soldier’s pain

By Melissa

I scream, but no one hears me. The world has forgotten me. And I turn to the hope that one day it will all end. But it will never end for me, for I have seen far to many things. They will haunt my dreams, and my waking hours for I have killed. I have seen brave soldiers fall under me fighting for what they believe in. What do I believe in? I do not know. All I know is what has been drilled into me. I am a body without a soul. I cry for forgiveness, but am not heard.

They do not know the word torture until they have lived my life of pain and suffering. Trying to stop what I have become, but failing. They can not grasp what I know of battles. The loneliness of it all. Wars.

What happens to soldiers after wars I am asked. For that I can not say. They roam the world looking for a place to call home. Yes home. And being loved. The thought of being loved scares me. I fight and kill, yet am scared of something so simple as love.

I can not cry. I have never been able to feel the wetness of the tears pour down my cheeks. I do not know the feeling of happiness for I have never been happy.

I hear the door of the machine that has killed me open. No one is there. No one will ever be there. Then a soul looks in. It has no idea of what it has saved. A monster. It is pure and has never known the anguish of killing. I step out of the harness that binds me. I look out over the field of destruction that I have caused. But that soul smiles at me, and I know what I fight for.

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