The Most Bittersweet Gift - Chapter 1	Home - Review - Previous - Next
A black clad figure stood before an ordinary door to a small ordinary home debating on whether he should knock or not. Behind him a long braid of chestnut trailed down his back, slightly frayed ends brushing the back of his thighs. Lifting a pale hand he knocked softly on the door before he lost his nerve. From inside issued some shuffling, a grumble, then the door opened. His breath caught. Heero had not changed much since the three years ago the fighting and pain finally ended. What once was a wiry but strong boy had transformed into a muscular and toned man, hair still unruly moss-like green, almost a dark brown, and cobalt eyes as deep and blue as the ocean. There were still the traces of the boy Duo had once known, remnants of a perfect soldier, but cool indifference had been replaced by a warm life. “Duo?” Heero asked, voice deeper, not as cold or harsh as it once had been. “Hai. How are you?” Duo asked softly. “I’m fine. It’s…a surprise to see you so unexpectedly. Come in, you look about to faint.” Duo shuffled inside the moderate home, noting how it was decorated tastefully and simple, but the very simplicity screamed money. Sitting on a warm beige couch Duo looked up, as Heero stood behind a chair adjacent to Duo. “Would you like some coffee or something?” Heero asked. The violet eyes infused with life at the mention of coffee, then dimmed. “Oh…I better not. Um…water’s fine, or juice if you have it. I’m not particular.” Heero nodded and went into the creamed coffee colored kitchen. Duo looked around; noting the absence of personal touches or pictures, only a few knickknacks along a shelf and books in the oak shelves lining the far wall. A small glass was handed to him filled with orange juice, which Duo sipped gratefully, wetting his parched throat. “Wife?” he inquired. “No,” Heero answered. “And no girlfriend, only an ex-wife long gone. What about you?” “A few failed relationships, nothing that amounted to anything. It didn’t work out with Relena I take it?” “You told me it wouldn’t.” “Yeah, well, my prediction came from the jilted lover’s stand. I’m sorry it didn’t work in the end.” Taking the seat he had only moments ago been leaning against he shrugged. “You were right though. She lives in a perfect little world as the perfect little girl and she wanted the perfect little husband who would stand as a perfect little symbol of peace. I was flawed, the illusion shattered, and she couldn’t handle it. I left after six months; the annulment went through a month later. We still talk.” “Oh…this place is nice.” “Thank you, but you didn’t come here to inquire about my love life or to remark on my home. What did you come for?” “I wanted to see you, talk to you. How’s your job?” “I started my own business, private investigations. It’s doing well.” “I’m not keeping you from something, am I?” Duo asked, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, uncharacteristically concerned. “No, not really,” Heero answered truthfully, “I can reschedule.” “Well, I won’t keep you any longer then. It’s a Sunday night, I figured you wouldn’t be working, my mistake, I’m sorry. I’ll leave you to your business.” Duo stood up. “Wait, why did you stop by?” “Oh…” Duo sat back down. “I just wanted to see everyone who meant something to me one last time. You’re doing well, I’m glad. I’ll be on my way.” Duo stood again and Heero followed suit, wrapping a hand around Duo’s wrist. “Hold on a minute. First of all, you’re not interrupting anything, so please stay a little longer. And second of all, what do you mean one last time?” Startled amethyst eyes blinked. “Oh, it’s just, after this visit you probably won’t see me again. All the others know so I figured one of them would have said something to you by now. You don’t know?” “Know what?” “Oh Christ, I can’t believe someone hasn’t…well, not like it matters now. I’m dying, the doctor’s don’t understand why…” Duo trailed off. Heero had frozen up and slowly began to resurface from the shock of the casual statement. “Er…dying?” Duo nodded, brushing bangs a bit too long from his eyes, gave an indifferent shrug. “Yeah. They aren’t sure how long I have, a month, a couple at most. The doctors think it might have something to do with that plague that struck L2 all those years ago.” “But that was so long ago…” “Yeah, I know, that’s what I said. The doctor thinks it mutated or some such, I’m not sure if I believe that or not. I went to the doctor for the flu and this is what they find.” “How are you handling it?” Heero asked softly, coming to sit next to Duo on the couch. “I’m surviving, I always do. I’ve told the others, like I said, and all in all the response was what I expected. Wufei took it well, Trowa too, I regret having told Quatre but he would have felt bad if I hadn’t.” “Where will you go once you leave here?” Heero asked, placing a hand on Duo’s arm. Duo allowed the touch but did not acknowledge it. Instead he scratched his chin, which Heero realized for the first time had the faintest hints of razor stubble. “No where. Maybe get a hotel room for the night, or just get on a random flight and sleep there, get off wherever the plane takes me, see where I go from there. I have no purpose really.” “Then you’ll stay here. Besides, it’s been far too long and I think you need a break. Don’t argue, do you have a bag?” “Well, yeah, in the car, but…” Duo couldn’t get out anymore of what he would have said for Heero stood up and dragged Duo up with him, fished around in the jean pockets for keys, then moved Duo back down to sit as he disappeared to get the bag from the car. “…I don’t want to be a bother,” Duo finished, talking to the air. Heero came back in, closing the door, and carrying a small duffel bag. “This all you have?” he asked curiously. Duo nodded. “You’re still not trying to argue with me are you?” Heero asked, dropping the bag in the previously unoccupied chair. Duo shook his head, knowing it useless to argue. A couple days, he vowed to himself. After that he would leave. “Good, because if you think I’m going to let you come in here and deliver that shock to me, then you’re mistaken. We have a lot of talking to do, and besides, I’ve missed your companionship.” A small smile quirked Duo’s mouth then grew until it became a grin. Heero closed the short distance between them and held Duo’s face in his hands gently, studying the face, noting the lines that hadn’t been there only 3 years earlier, the weariness, the dark circles under the eyes. “Is that all you’ve missed?” Duo asked softly. Heero shook his head slowly, “Oh no, that’s not all I’ve missed,” he breathed. “Does you’re having me stay include my sharing your bed?” Duo asked seriously, coolly. Heero was surprised by the frankness of the question, and it took him a minute to realize that Duo wasn’t asking if that was what would happen, but if that’s what Heero wanted to happen, or felt would happen. It seemed ludicrous to ask that, but then Heero understood what had led Duo to ask that before all was said and done. It was Heero’s fault, him having broken a trust between the two with no explanation, even now roughly three years after the fact no reason had been given as to his actions. He had left Duo when all seemed to be going well between them, and all Duo had asked for was that Heero at least admit that he cared on some level for Duo. Heero had panicked and left the very next morning, early, and gone to Relena, leaving Duo to find out where he had gone when Heero’s and Relena’s marriage was announced on the news. This was the first time he had seen Duo since the night he had disappeared. “I do have a guest bedroom,” Heero stated, releasing his too intimate hold on the boy’s face, backing away and grabbing the bag. With a nod to follow Heero led Duo back to the guest bedroom. * * * * * “This is pretty good,” Duo remarked, tapping the fork lightly against the plate. What was on the plate was a dinner of lightly breaded and baked chicken, hot bread, and seasoned potatoes. It was a much better meal than Duo had in the months of his traveling from place to place. “Thank you,” Hero said, watching Duo eat. “You look like you don’t eat enough as it is. Tell me, what did you do after the war?” Duo took a sip of his water. “At first nothing…” Duo paused, thinking, or perhaps making a very subtle point about what he would have been doing after the war if he had not been abandoned the second week into peace. “Then I did some work with the scrap metal left from the war. After that odd jobs here and there up until a year ago then Quatre asked if I wanted to visit him for a while. I stayed there for a short time, that’s when I found out, after Quatre forced me to go to the doctor when I showed no signs of getting over the flu after a couple weeks. Once I left there, not wanting to burden Quatre and Trowa,” Duo smiled sadly. “I traveled, ran into Wufei who was on business in the same city I happened to be in just for the night, and after that sort of meandered pointlessly from place to place, returning to this city to see my doctor.” “Your doctor is in this city?” Duo gave a nod, laughing wryly. “If you hadn’t noticed the big hospital about 35 minutes from here, where there are sorts of specialists, that’s where Quatre’s doctor sent me. My last visit was when Wufei suggest I track you down and break the news to you, just to be polite, he doesn’t know what happened between us. He gave me this address if I was interested. I decided to come, just to…I had to see you one last time.” Heero nodded slightly. Duo plowed ahead, as if he couldn’t bear the silence. “Ironic in my opinion. But I’ve enjoyed traveling, sort of a last present to myself I guess, a luxury I might not have allowed myself otherwise. The earth is so beautiful; kind of hard to enjoy that sort of thing when you’re fighting for your life, blowing things up, but now… I’ve seen so many strange and quaint things. In one of those places that never seem touched by time I met this old woman that taught me how to read palms. That was an experience.” Duo paused to take a sip of his water, the remains of his meal forgotten. “Personally I think it’s a fun pastime, but nothing to take too seriously.” Duo bit his bottom lip shyly and looked up through his lashes at Heero. “I could, if you’re interested, read your palm. It’s kind of fun; Wufei let me do it, he thought it was amusing. Or at least, I think that’s what he thought.” Shrugging Heero gave a nod. “I don’t see why not.” Duo smiled and moved over to the chair next to Heero, took the hand and uncurled it from its loose fist that had been resting on the table. To Heero Duo’s hand holding his felt delicate and smaller, thinner, cooler than his own. The skin was still soft and pale, though, unlike Heero’s hands, which were roughened, tanned, and warm. Duo studied the hand curiously, then without looking up, chestnut bangs hiding his eyes from view, began to speak softly. He traced the long line circling around his thumb, began to speak. “This is the life line, and it’s long and clearly marked, showing that you’ll have a normal, healthy life and live to a reasonable age. See how it’s very clearly etched and steady, almost a straight line at the very top near your thumb…well, this shows that your early life was ordered and that you weren’t sick, and that there were very little changes during this time…” Heero interrupted, chuckling under his breath. “But you knew that Duo.” The briefest smile quirked Duo’s lips, “I know, let me work. Hmm…right here there’s a break, and that’s…oh, you’re about…early twenties. There’s a break here, indicating an accident or serious illness or a sudden change. The little lines that cross over the line represent worry. But it begins again, deep, and you recover from it, changed by the incident above. Look here, this line is called the head line, and the way it connects in the beginning to the life line shows that you have a strong sense of body over mind and have a careful outlook, especially in childhood. Almost fearful even. The fact that it’s deep and straight shows that you have an excellent memory and that you are very smart and realistic. It breaks here just before it goes off in small chains and this small circle that’s called an island, on the line, and that shows that there is some mental stress that changes you. But you recover, because it starts up again, just as strong, but curving a little downward, showing a creative aspect coming in.” Duo quieted, touching small lines here and there, a smile sometimes quirking his lips. He frowned slightly and touched a line above the line he had designated as the head line. “This is the heart line. It shows emotional attitudes. Apparently this cross here, about the twenty year mark, shows some sort of loss, followed very briefly a small island, depression. Here, at the very beginning of the line, which starts here under the middle finger instead of the index finger shows that you are restricted in love. These little chains right in here show tensions.” Duo once again fell silent, studying the lines. Without explaining what it meant completely Duo traced a light wavering short line beneath the pinky. “Marriage line. It’s the only one, so presumably it shows you’re marriage to Relena, and it seems to be the only one here. You’re marriage was rocky, without any real love, you almost had an affair with someone but the marriage ended before that could happen. Someone very special comes into your life sometime after that but nothing results from it, although there is something there…” Duo trailed off and Heero pulled his hand away slowly, heart pounding. “What’s yours say? Can I see?” Heero asked. Duo shook his head, “It’s not interesting, I’m tired. Do you mind if I go to bed early, or do you want help with the dishes?” Heero shook his head. “No, go ahead, take a shower and get some much-needed sleep, I’ll take care of the dishes.” With a nod Duo stood and walked out of the room. * * * * * ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Journal Entry 1 I’ve had this little journal for roughly a year now, ever since I first found out about…well…you know, THAT. Why did I start writing now? Who the hell knows certainly not me? Maybe because I have no other way of getting my feelings out. What are my feelings? Well…I’m scared. No, I’m terrified. Another thing, I find it hard to believe where I am. Where am I? Heero’s guest bedroom. I finally gathered my courage enough to come tell him, and he wont’ let me leave. Not that I would be complaining normally, but I can only take so much pain. I want peace before I finally, well, you know. In a way, secretly I’m glad. I don’t want to face, well, you know, THAT; I don’t want to face IT alone. Heero’s strong, Heero’s brave. If I stay with him maybe I’ll become strong and brave and not afraid of facing…IT. And tonight, I looked at his palm. I was playing around, I don’t really believe in that stuff, but…from what I could tell, I’m sure going to miss being gone in a couple years when Heero changes, becomes the person I had always felt was in there. Ironic, that I would be right and not be there to see it. Just like it’s ironic that I broke through Heero’s cold mask and to the boy underneath it all, giving him ‘permission’ to feel, and he goes to Relena directly afterwards. For all the efforts I never even received the beauty beneath that. I don’t want to think about it, I have to wash my hair, and I need sleep. I’ll probably never write in this again, so…I have to go now. Duo Maxwell ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
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