Forever Lost: Part one: Love Gained

Forever Lost: Part One: "Love Gained"

BY: Demeter

Disclaimer: All rights and privileges to Shin Kidousenki Gundam Wing are trademarks and property of Sunrise, Bandai, and Sotsu Agency.

There is no profit made on these stories, and is purely fictional. All content here belongs to the author, and is not to be used without permission.

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I watched Heero and Duo accept the congratulations from the people around them, and I felt my lips twist into a smile. They seemed much more at ease, then when they had first came up to my mansion, and told me of their "secret relationship".

This engagement party was a first for all the pilots, I could tell. The show of gift exchanges was not lost on them, however.

Trowa and Quatre did a presentation of their gift together. I murmured in appreciation at the thought which was attached to the present. I could hear gasps of awe all around the party, as Duo pulled the silk sheet off the large object.

Their gift, a choice, which reflected the same confrontations and obstacles they had gone through when they went public with their relationship. It was a painting, beautifully done, with a mauve background, creating the eerie feeling Duo and Heero were other-wordly; mysterious. Quatre has somehow managed to capture their expression which were in their true element; Heero had a slight smile on on his stone-cut face, and Dup with his cheeky grin. But, at the same time, I could see the love they held for each other, just by how their eyes connected on the canvas.

The painting was truly a majestic piece.

I saw tears glimmer in Duo's eyes, as he gave Quatre a hug which said everything. Trowa just smiled, which in my eyes, was the world.

Dorothy walked up next, in a black dress which brought as much attention as her gift. It had a v-neckline which stretched all the way to her stomach, and it was skin-tight, outlining every curve which she had. Dorothy smirked, then gave them her gift. It was a large box, and I suppose it was filled with toys of questionable.. er.. funness, as when Duo opened it, he started laughing, while Heero flushed to a dull red.

Hilde came up next, her normally smiling face pale, but composed. I recall that she had also loved one of the two, and had been expecting a proposal, not a breakup. She handed them a neatly wrapped gift, and I watched in sympathy, as her eyes grew misty. Hilde was merely another sacrifice Duo and Heero made for their love.

Which I respected.

After all, I would rather Heero choose someone he truly loved any day, rather then have him choose me for duty.

Of course, only a couple days ago, I would have cursed anyone for saying that.

Sally and Wufei was next. She was one of the lucky ones. Her man loved her, and chose her without a second thought, and I was sure he truly loved her. Maybe, if I was really lucky, someday I might find someone who loved me for me, and not for the peace which I represented.

Wufei had the same bored expression on his face, which was usually there at social functions; some people will never change. But, I could detect the teeniest of smiles which did much to soften the hard planes of his face.

Sally gave Duo a clingy piece of lingerie. I almost burst into laughter at the expression on Heero's face, and the look of glee on Duo's. The smirk on Wufei's meant the lingerie was well worth the price they had paid, apparently.

Catherine came up to them with an impish smile. She handed them a large manila envelipe, I noticed the other three pilots gathering together, and were watching Duo and Heero with anticipation. They looked curiously at it, then at each other. Duo opened the envelipe, and scanned the contents. From my position, I noticed they were pictures.... quite a thick sheaf of pictures at that. Duo squinted at them, and then turned bright red. In his beige suit, he looked like a ripe tomato on a popsicle stick. Heero snatched the photos away, stared at them, before hastily stuffing then back into the envelope. Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei were laughing their heads off, almost insanely. Heero gave them his "Omae no Korosu" look, which caused them to choke with giggles.

I didn't want to know. Noin was next, with my brother next to her. He still had the same I'm-going-to-kill-you-Heero-for-hurting-my-sister look on his face. Combined with his intense eyes, there was more than one person scuttling out of his way, as he walked imperiously toward the couple, ignoring the tugs which Noin was not-so-secretly giving him. Finally, with an exasperated look on her face, she turned toward the blinking couple, and gave her gift. She expressed her wishes, which I smiled at; Noins was especially good with speeches.

Milliardo only gave a slight snort. I knew he was already strained to the point of explosion, and the snort was an example of the extent of his self-control. If I didn't do something, no doubt the engagemen party would turn into a shooting match.

Chuckling, I walked hastily up the carpet, and latched onto Milliardo's arm. He gave me an outraged look, and I gave him an imperceptible shake of my head. I turned to Duo and Heero, smiling, as I pulled from the sidelines, my own present.

I looked at the package for the longest time.

The colorful wrapping brought back intense memories, of a far past.

The present was only the size of a two-gallon milk carton, but to me, it represented all the hopes and dreams I was letting go.

I smiled at the package.

The gift I had planned to give to Heero on our wedding day.

I had been so naive.

I shook my head, and then turned to the two. Their eyes were part curious, and part hesistation. I unconciously smiled at the fear; I guess they still suspected me of some last-minute attempt to sabotage their engagement. I don't blame them, but they would never understand that on the day they told of their love, the same day I pushed Relena Peacecraft of bygone days into the fire, and watched me burn to ash before my eyes.

I closed my eyes, then opned them, and handed over my gift, my dreams, me, to them.

The sudden hush told me everyone was watching.

I knew everyone was waiting for a snake or a slug, or something equally disgusting to pop out. There was not a soul there who did not know about the "Queen of the World's" former love for the "perfect soldier", Heero Yuy.

Milliardo clasped his hand over mine, and Noin patted my arm. I never took my eyes off Heero and Duo's. Duo grinned at me, and proceeded to enthusiastically pull of the intricate wrapping I had spent an hour on.

The wrapping fell away, and as he took off the top, I saw his face change from one of curiosity and excitement, to shock, amazement, and finally, the utmost tenderness.

He understood.

He turned and showed the gift to Heero, the same expressions flickering across the granite face. I could hear murmurs of confusion, and for once, I did not care about my reputation or what the press thought. They were my friends before this. And after, they still were, I would not allow something as petty as my love lost, to ruin friendships which I has spent years working on.

Not even Heero Yuy was worth that much.

Noin turned to me, and smiled, her eyes kind and sympathetic. She gave me a hug which warmed me to my toes, and I managed to give a feeble smile in return; I was feeling a numbness from parting with my gift. Milliardo was at a loss for words, but he seemed proud; that was enough for me.

Trowa and Quatre, catching my eye, nodded their heads. I sensed understanding, and they now considered me an equal, and not just a doll to be protected.

Hilde just grinned, her downcast expression from before, once more replaced with her mischievious smile.

Wufei muttered somethihng which sounded something like, "Finally, a woman who understands her place." Sally gave him an appropiate slap on the head, but I understand, that from him, that was the ultimate compliment a woman could get.

Duo and Heero turned to me; I saw their eyes struggling to keep back tears. I might be a bit sentimental, so it might have just been the glare in my eyes. They stepped down, and wrapped their arms around me.

Their embrace seemed to unlock something within me.

And for the first time that day, silent tears started trickling down my cheeks, as I wept for, I hope, the last time in my life for the two of them.

The box fell to the floor.

Inside, a slightly faded blue dress drifted out, three bullets rolled clickety-clack onto the floor, a ripped piece of silk, stained with blood, draped over the dress. A hand-held detonator came out, a rusty gun after that, a delicate porcelain cup with faint tea stains, a teddy bear, a fluttering of paper confetti covered with writing, a ripped-in-half card, and finally, a photo album.

There was confused whispering among the mass, I knew no one would understand just how much all that meant to me except the "old' crowd.

And they surrounded me, each participating in my "death" in their own way.

The album fluttered open lazily, and a familiar picture appeared. With all of us together, and smiling.

~*~ Finis ~*~

Demeter

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