Scars: Part 2: May We Forget the Word

Inside one of the inner chambers, Relena clutched her white-gloved hands together convulsively. She did not want to go out there.

She really did not.

Bitterly, she thought it was ironic, that Hilde, who had a good relationship with the pilots, despite her disappointment with Duo, and anger with Heero, could not come, didn't have to come, while she, Princess of the Sank Kingdom, vice-minister of peace relations, had an obligation to attend, when she could not even talk to them without one cutting her openly, or another subtly asking her to get lost. Her hands tightened, as memories of her last meeting, two months ago, with them returned to her mind.

/"Heero!" Relena sprinted toward the impassive pilot, and clasped her arms around him. She ignored the other's looks and murmurs of dissension. Giving her "prince" another hug, she looked at him happily in the face, and started chattering freely, albeit a little out of control. She needed someone to talk to today, and who was a better choice, but Heero, who never said a word, and listened to her whenever she wanted?

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Noins and Milliardo give her a desperate look. They motioned wildly, and before she could ask them what was wrong, she felt herself being pulled away, and thrown to the floor. She felt the world spin, and her hands scraped the rough, woolen carpet.

Gasping, she looked up angrily, and right into the violet eyes of Duo Maxwell. His usually happy-go-lucky grin was gone, and his beautiful, smiling eyes, had lost their shine. Now, they were filled with anger, and there was something different in his face.

Jealousy?

She was confused for a second, before getting up slowly, and asking regally, "What are you doing, Duo?" There was a note of fury in her voice. After all, she was the one talking to the man she loved, and not him. She had not done anything to displease the self-proclaimed God of Death, right? Her wide, blue eyes questioned him silently.

Duo opened his mouth to speak, when Noins gave a soft cry. His head swiveled to look at her, and she gave him a small shake of her head. Her dark eyes were filled with dread, and there was something that Duo was about to say which she feared. Relena looked curiously at he brother and sister-in-law. Glancing around, she realized everyone were either watching her pointedly, or avoiding her gaze purposely. Puzzled, she turned to Heero for an answer, when she stopped dead.

His eyes were burning with disgust.

She recoiled, as though she had been slapped.

They were filled with hate for HER.

Relena clutched her heart convulsively, feeling a dull throb echo in her chest.

Whispering, she asked in a tremulous voice, "Heero?"

His eyes narrowed, and ignoring the warning growl from Milliardo, he ground out his words.

"Leave me alone."

Her eye's bulged. No, he was going to say something she didn't want to hear.

He was going to tell her a lie.

He was. He was.

He was going to tell her he loved everything about her.

He was just putting on a show for everyone around the two of them.

He wasn't going to say anything bad.

He wasn't going to do anything that would hurt her.

She was sure of it, sure of it, sure of it.

He protected her all the time, gave her a teddy bear for her birthday, smiled at her on the ship.

He claimed so many times her would kill her, but he never did.

Surely, surely he wouldn't do that just for anyone. He loved her; he would never, ever try to hurt her.

Surely he wouldn't.

She believed in him.

Her heart was with him.

"I don't love you. I've never loved you."

Her dreams shattered.

Relena repeated his words, twisting them around, "You don't love me anymore."

"I NEVER loved you. Get this straight. I protect you because you're world peace."

Her heart broke.

"You don't love me?"

"I love no one but Duo."

Her world fell apart.

Relena staggered back, her head reeling. Clutching the nearest stand, she held on for dear life, as she tried to swallow all she had just heard. Her mind struggled to grasp at the straws he offered her, and slipped, never catching any of the wispy pieces which were now falling all around her.

She felt the blood slowly drain from her face, as her voice, no more than a hoarse croak, ask, "You love Duo. Duo Maxwell."

"Yes."

Swallowing, she looked wildly around. This had to be a joke. A horrible, sick joke, but a joke nonetheless. They couldn't truly believe he was telling the truth. Quatre would never lie to her. Wufei wouldn't stand for such a relationship. It wasn't right. That sort of relationship just wasn't right. Her eyes dilated as each person watched her with pity and sympathy. It wasn't a joke; it wasn't a sick joke. It was real.

A scream of pure pain and loss threatened to choke her, as everything, all the little things she had invested into this love seemed to blow away. The last few years of loneliness couldn't have been for nothing. She had endured years of sleepless nights for this? Life wouldn't be so cruel. God wouldn't be so cruel.

Biting the cry back, Relena pulled herself upright, and looked desperately into Heero's eyes, into Duo's eyes, asking them, begging them to laugh, tell her she was dreaming.

She searched, but there was nothing but relief and a burden released in their eyes.

She wanted to wail with the sense of excruciating heartbreak, as she did when the Sank Kingdom had fallen around her feet, when her brother had disappeared from her life, when she used therapy to push everything into the back of her mind. Her soul sobbed with the wretchedness of it all.

But, her tears did not come to her eyes; her screams never surfaced past her throat.

As her therapist had taught her when she was little, how her foster parents had cautioned that a princess should never show displeasure, she swallowed all the negative emotion, and buried the anger, loss, pain, and tears to the niche in the deepest part of her being. She did not notice, or refused to notice, that it already was filled to the brim, refusing to see she was ready to fall apart. She closed her eyes to the fact that she was becoming unbalanced, and she ignored the tiny wail inside of her that was screaming for her to cry.

Telling her already much-abused heart was shattered.

And Relena Peacecraft, Princess of the Sank Kingdom, Vice-Minister to the World Nation, looked at Heero and Duo straight in the eyes, gave a blank smile, and left the room.

Pushing everything down, as she had been taught and disciplined to do. /

Relena shuddered, and ran a gloved hand over her eyes. There were no tears that threatened to fall, nor wetness. Her eyes were dry. As they had been two months ago.

She had learned to stop crying a long, long time ago.

"Ms. Relena? It's time to go." The maid's voice floated from the door, and Relena, brushing her dress out, walked regally toward the party she wanted no part of.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Princess Relena, of the Sank Kingdom!" A roar of applause rose, as Relena walked through the main archway. Her costume brought out gasps from the crowd. Shimmering silk was wrapped around her lithe body, and pair of angel wings was extended from her back, almost seemingly real. Her blond hair was curled into ringlets, and they were arranged in artful waves. There was a delicate necklace wrapped her milk-white throat. Bracelets were clasped over her arms. Her eyes sparkled from iridescent powder, and her lips were pouty, full, rubbed pale pink and silver.

Duo whistled softly, and shot a look at Heero. There was absolutely no expression whatsoever on his stone-cut face. Duo smirked, and then turned his attention back to the Princess. Relena walked toward her brother, and the ball continued, the low hum of conversation echoing through the room.

"Brother, the party is going as planned, isn't it?" Relena smiled at Milliardo, pleased that feuds were being washed away with the champagne. "Perhaps, peace will be realized among the masses now."

Noins smiled at the Relena, before sweeping her glance at the Gundam pilots who were watching them. Relena didn't turn around. Her face flushed slightly, and there was a setline around her mouth, as if willing herself to not turn around.

"Relena?"

"Not another word, brother. I'm not an idiot or psychotic enough to ruin the mood of this party." She graced them with a half-bitter, half-mocking smile, before turning to the pilots. Staring at them one fraction of a second, she gave an elegant bow, folding her hand to her chest, and lifting her wispy dress with the other. Her head tilted slightly as she said, "Welcome to the Sank Kingdom. I hope you enjoy your stay with us." She was then asked to dance by a noble, and she accepted his hand daintily, and walked off, without giving them a second glance.

There was a mutual uncomfortable silence, as Milliardo looked at the pilots appraisingly, before bowing stiffly. He turned and walked back toward the Throne's located at the front of the ballroom. Treize looked apologetically at the pilots, before following, taking Lady Une and Marimeia with him.

Trowa was as silent as before, staring after the moving figure of Relena. Quatre tossed him a look out of the corner of his angelic eyes, and they both nodded. Gently pushing the rest of the group into the crowd, they started to "mingle" while guarding Relena carefully. There were terrorists who would use the chance to destroy her, since this was a "pacifist" party.

They saw noble after prince, heir after knight, each bow to the angel-haired princess, and lead through a dance, like an object to be shown. Her smile was always present, never faltering. Her face refused to flinch when one of the men leered at her, and gave her a sloppy kiss on the cheek. Sally winced, and flexed her fists slightly, only backing down after a warning glance from Catherine.

In spurts, either Sally or Catherine would come up and interrupt a dance, in order for Relena to get some reprise, only to be asked by the princess herself to not bother. She did not seem to have the heart in pretending anymore that she enjoyed the ball, showing the world, by refusing to dance with one person more than once.

Scouring the room, the pilots and co. discovered that there was talk of a "chosen" one by Relena. Anyone who danced with her twice, apparently, would be the new prince. Sally felt alarm course through her at the piece of gossip. Nodding to Catherine, she quietly watched the princess, making sure no man would come close to her, who had even an idea of trying to waltz with her twice.

Relena floated around the ballroom, and Milliardo saw her smile become somewhat fixed. Swearing below his breath, he interjected with a graceful bow, and briskly took her away on his own waltz. Once it was heard that the siblings of the Sank Kingdom was dancing, the dance floor cleared, and everyone stared, enchanted at the seemingly perfect "couple".

The pilots only glanced at each other and rolled their eyes.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Relena demurred from the next dance, pleading exhaustion. Walking as quickly as possible, without seeming rude, she slipped into a side room. Breathing out a sigh of relief, she tugged the tiara off her blond hair, before collapsing onto the couch, and closing her eyes. Inhaling and exhaling softly, she felt her temper slightly cool. She had been ready to explode when she had finally finished the last dance.

This was definitely NOT the best night of her life.

And there were several to contend with it, for the respectable place as the worst.

"Relena."

Relena bolted up from her comfortable position, and her eyes flew open. Grabbing the nearest item, (a vase) she chucked it as hard as she could. The Ming dynasty vase flew through the air and connected with a hand. She stared at Prussian blue eyes, emerald green, midnight black, azure blue, and violet eyes. Relena stared at them for a moment, confused.

Quatre fidgeted slightly, as Relena stared at him, as if she was seeing through their souls. Trowa, whose arm was around his waist, gave a comforting squeeze. Wufei coughed, before finally saying in his exasperated voice, "Well, onna? Are you going got ask us to sit down?" He folded his arms in expectation, black eyes glittering.

Relena started, and then realized what she was doing. Jumping hastily, she placed the "Peacecraft" mask over her features, and they smoothed to a perfect combination of pleasantry, welcome, and business. "Ah, forgive me, Mr. Chang. Please, all of you, sit down."

They were about to sit down, when her formal manner froze them.

The silence was heavy.

Finally, Quatre broke the silence by asking in a tentative voice, "How are you, Relena?"

Relena cocked her head slightly, and gave him an amused look. "How am I? Why, I am fine as fine can be." Her slightly mocking voice was not lost on the lot of them. Quatre flushed and looked back down at his hands. Duo raised an eyebrow, and shot a nasty glare at Relena. She gave him his look right back.

Heero snorted slightly, which Relena completely ignored.

Wufei said tersely, "Well, onna, we can't speak long, but we need the diskette we requested a week ago." He folded his arms and drilled his eyes into hers.

Relena was silent for a moment, before getting up smoothly. Walking over to the window, and staring out of it, she pressed the palms of her hands onto the cold glass. She was silent for a long moment. Her head swept over the glittery lights of Sank Kingdom. Some of the others fidgeted slightly, as she continued to not speak. Finally, without turning around, her voice indifferent, she asked, "What are you to do with the information?"

There was a startled quiet. Quatre glanced at Trowa, and then at Duo. He was unsure of how to answer; however, Heero helped him by answering bluntly, "It's none of your business." Quatre winced, turning to see how Relena would react to his rudeness. His short, curt answer did not seem to faze Relena, however, as she did not even react to his tone.

"You're going to use it to blow up another rebel faction." It was a statement rather than a question.

Wufei raised an eyebrow before asking harshly, "So what? Is little Miss. Peacecraft going to stop us?"

Relena did not seem to even hear him, as she continued in a dull voice, "You're going to kill more people."

"Yeah, what are you going to do about it?"" Duo asked jovially, his voice laced with steel. He did not take his eyes from the golden-haired princess. She was beautiful, he reluctantly admitted. She had the likeness of an angel, and there were very few people who could deny that fact. Relena had a good heart, even if it was slightly blinded. If her obsession with Heero hadn't been so cumbersome and annoying, Duo imagined he would have liked her very much. He regretted, however, the fact Heero had had to use such extreme means to tell her about their relationship.

Wufei watched her. He felt no real hate for her, but her obvious and disgusting chase of a man, by a WOMAN, was disgraceful. He believed in her advocating for peace, though. Relena had her merits, though they seemed to be entirely overshadowed by her obsessive behavior. However, Sally seemed to genuinely love the girl, as did every single woman they knew. For some reason, they couldn't stand the pilots trashing her too much. And for that, he had learned to curb his tongue in their company. As much as he could stop his insults anyway.

Trowa , having the least contact with the princess, liked her as much as he could like a person outside of Quatre and Catherine. Her pacifism ideals were the best choice for the future in his opinion, and he knew the other pilots dedicated themselves to her protection because she WAS the only shot they had of actually living in a war-free world. His eyes darkened with the images of a painful past. Memories of his war-ridden childhood, and the knowledge of the other's pasts, were enough for him to follow her faithfully.

Quatre understood Relena better than anyone else in the group. Being the mother figure of the group, he knew how much pressure she was under. She was far from spoiled; in fact, if it wasn't for her bearing, she could have been easily been one of them. He was the one to see her in action. Relena's charisma when speaking of pacifism was awe-inspiring; if the others would actually go to one of her speeches, and listened, they might understand her good points. Her fixation on Heero was part of her shell, something that could hold her up in the world of politics. Or at least he hoped that was what she felt; infatuation. He winced at the memory of the confrontation only a couple months ago. If it was not infatuation to her, then he dreaded to see what was left of her heart.

Heero stared at her. The first time he had met her, he had felt a strong pull toward the girl. What she thought was love, however, was just his attachment to the word "peace". She stood for everything that he wanted for Duo and himself, and for that, he would eternally protect her. Even with his caustic remarks about her, he respected her, liking her against his will. However, at points, he would have been glad to strangle her, for her obsessive stalking, even she was not aware of.

Their thoughts to themselves, even though they were all staring at her, none noticed the desperate look flit across her face.

She stared down at her hands. Relena noticed with a detachment, that they were well shaped, without a single bump, bruise, or a scratch. They were politician hands; unused to labor, never having touched a tool, or carried a gun. Her fingers still glowed from the manicure she had gotten with the wife of the France diplomat. Their slender shape seemed to by carved out of stone. A single, gold band adorned her hands.

They were perfection itself.

No blood stained the skin, no war marred the smoothness.

Because she had someone else to kill others who rebelled against her.

Closing her eyes, she prayed for forgiveness.

Opening a drawer, she drew out a case, and looking at the shiny covering for a moment, she tossed it at Duo. "Here it is. I got the information from the L3 diplomat. Orders are to be followed, whether I like it or not." She had tried to keep her voice impassive, but failed, bitterness souring her tone. Relena clenched the disk for one more second than necessary, and for a moment, Duo feared he would have to wrestle it out of her hand. But, before any of them could jump in, she let go, simply, albeit reluctantly.

Duo examined the disk carefully, before sticking it into his front pocket. She followed the disk with her eyes, and they grew shuttered as it disappeared into the dark clothing. She turned back to the window, and was silent once more. Quatre cleared his throat tentatively. "Thank you, Miss Relena. We'll be going now."

She did not respond, or move; did not even give an indication that she had heard him. Quatre bit his lip, then sighed, before the pilots got up in a collective motion. Filing out of the room, Trowa, who was last, paused, turned back once more, and gazed at the girl, who had apparently given up on them.

And for some reason, this fact gave him a sense of anxiety.

~*~ FINIS ~*~

~*~Part Two~*~

Demeter here. This is the second part...methinks I am a tad too depressed... ^_^;;

A few notes for readers:

1. Yes, I know Trieze dies in the Gundam Wing. However, in this fic, he didn't. Okay?

2. If anyone wants to flame me about Relena, please try to construct it into useful criticism. I don't usually mind people e-mailing me about mistakes, but if you send me a letter, ripping into how quote, "Relena could never act like that! She's such a simpering, obsessive little psycho bitch!" unquote, then I'll personally send that flame onto the internet and show it to everyone. Sorry. I respect everyone's opnion about who they like, but I really hate it when someone doesn't respect MY likes.

3. The whole leather outfit on Quatre was inspired by a doushinji that a friend gave to me...*blush* It's..uh...rather graphic.

4. Yes, I love Duo. This story is not about making Duo into the bad guy. This is a story about RELENA.