Title: "Scars"
Author: Demeter
Warning: Yaoi. To all the people who think yaoi deserves to go to hell, you're entitled to your opinion, but please do not infringe on mine. The same with the people who are currently wearing "Kill Relena!" T-shirts around. That is your opinion, so I respect that. However, if you wish to flame me please don't bother. It'll be met with laughs and derision. (note the word FLAME. If you want to offer me constructive criticism, please go right ahead. I need help with my writing anyway! ^_^)
Disclaimer: All rights and privileges to Shin Kidousenki Gundam Wing are trademarks and property of Sunrise, Bandai, Sotsu Agency, and associated parties. All the characters belong to them, and all stories, relationships, ideas are fiction. They are not related to the original plot. The story, the relationships and original characters within the fic are copyright of the author Demeter.
Scars:
Sometimes, the deepest, most painful scars are the ones you cannot see. A broken heart can bring down the strongest soul and for Relena Darlian, Princess Peacecraft of the Sank Kingdom, the heartbreak is the last crack in a shattered dream.
For everyone else, it is the beginning of a hellish nightmare and the fight for a past that may have never happened.
A lost soul, trying to reclaim herself
For a broken heart to give itself a chance to mend.
A time of trials and tribulation in the future of the pilots and friends.
"Until Death Do Us Apart" may not be very long.
Part Four: If there be truth, then there is no God
Even Shinigami believes in the presence of a God. Can all hope be lost, when the Princess lets go of her future, and clings to the past? A life broken, can rarely be mended. But, with friends, one can try to put the broken pieces of an egg back together again.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
From the distance, the blonde, dressed in a clingy, satin dress, looked like the epitome of beauty. Her hair flowed down to the middle of her back, and shone in the sunlight. Her large, ice-blue eyes struck many of a man in the middle of his heart. The silvery lips were full and pouty. The curves of her body seemed to be carved from cream-glazed porcelain. Everything from the tips of her toes, to the elegantly manicured fingers of her hands, to the perfectly proportioned chest, indicated she was no less than a goddess.
Her steps were unhurried as she stepped from the long, golden limousine. She strode elegantly toward the main doors of the Peacecraft mansion, and greeted a few, who gave thrilled looks at the knowledge that Dorothy Catalonia, close confidante of the Peacecrafts, remembered their name.
Dorothy paused before the room of Relena, giving a slight smirk before she pushed the door open, and entered the stifling room. She gave a kiss to Milliardo and Noins, before sashaying toward Relena with a wide grin. Hugging the sandy-haired girl, she held her at arms length before saying softly, "You're all skin and bones Miss Relena. You really should eat a little more." Her grin grew wider, before laughing out loud.
Tossing her purse to the table, she sat down comfortably, before asking crisply, "What's going on?"
Milliardo cleared his throat, and spoke genially, "Dorothy, I would like you to accompany Relena to the Malone beach tomorrow. Of course, the pilots will be coming along for protection." His eyes did not stray, and they looked intently into her ice-blue orbs.
She cocked her head slightly, glanced at Noins, before answering affably, "Certainly, I would love too. It has been awhile since I've had a vacation. It'll do my skin well; the colony air has absolutely no moisture! Look at me. I've dried like a mummy!" Her light-hearted tone brought the smallest of smiles to Relena's pale face. Dorothy looked over her sharply, knowing what they meant now.
Relena asked in a hesitant voice, "Are you sure, Brother? After all, there is still much to do before the next conference. I really do not have the extra time to waste on the beach."
"I told you, Lucy and I shall take care of all your duties for the day. Go enjoy yourself! I would not want my imouto to grow stunted from the lack of sunlight.
"Then why do the... pilots have to come?"
"For protection. When outside, even disguised, you're still in potential danger at all times."
"I would really prefer only Dorothy and I go."
Noins interjected herself at this point, smiling at Relena gently. "Even though we want nothing more than for you to have a good time, there is still a chance some terrorist will get wind of this "vacation" of yours. They will stop at nothing to kill you. It would simply be safer to have them by your side."
Relena looked rebellious at this. Her blue eyes, once dull, now shone with rebellion. "Then why not someone else? It doesn't have to be them, you know. There are plenty of Preventers who are qualified to protect me. How about Sally? Or Lady Une? Or even Hilde?"
Milliardo was ready for this, and he responded breezily, "Hilde's too busy right now, and we haven't been able to get hold of her. Lady Une, though once a general of OZ, cannot possibly protect you from a terrorist who will undoubtedly be highly trained and have no qualms of employing sharpshooters. Sally can't be pulled from her work at the moment, and she sent me back the message that all the current Preventers are in other various projects, and only a few new recruits are available right now." Of course, this wasn't entirely a lie. After all, there really wasn't anyone around Headquarters; it was only that Sally just happened to call them off right after Milliardo had talked to her.
Years of training had steeled him for lying. However, nothing during the lessons could match the suspicion in Relena's gaze or the doubt lurking in the shadows within her face.
"Then why do all five them have to come; couldn't just a couple, maybe three protect me? Surely not ALL five are needed. Trowa and Quatre work wonderfully together; they'll be more than enough, right?" Relena could not help but allow an anxious note enter her voice.
Milliardo said smoothly, "You know the pilots work best TOGETHER," pausing to emphasize his words, "I think you'll enjoy your time."
"I won't go."
"You have too."
"Say's who?"
"Say's me."
"And me."
"And moi."
Relena nearly screamed in frustration. With nothing to do but to slam the door, she stalked out of the conference room, and snarled at anyone who greeted her, leaving behind a bewildered crew of her cabinet members. Her face grew shaky, and she stormed into her bedroom; the one place she had sanctuary from the havoc of the office. Slamming the door, she pushed the balcony doors open wildly.
Trembling, she collapsed onto her balcony floor. Her eyes returned to the dullness that had been present the past few weeks, and all emotion seemed to leak out of her. Relena leaned against the railing, before looking down, noting with detachment, how far up her balcony was. Her eyes followed the tiny figures scurrying in the garden below.
Really, the balcony was very, very high.
She stood up slowly, her face fixed on the well-manicured lawns below her. She put her hands onto the railing, and pushed her body over the edge, leaning forward, trying to capture butterflies. Her expressionless eyes stared forward, seemingly to be searching for something. Relena placed one leg over the railing, almost in a daze, and she seemed on the brink of doing something, when she seemed to realize where she was.
/Don't do it./
Licking her suddenly dry and colorless lips, she stepped back quickly, and huddled on the floor, her knees drawn tightly to her chest. Relena rocked back and forth, little mewling sounds escaping her throat. Mewls turned to a humming, and strains of the haunting notes floated over the air and around the castle.
/Fly, fly, fly, so very high, high, high.
Butterfly, butterfly, spread your wings and fly.
Fly to freedom, even more beautiful when you die./
And through it all, Relena's eyes stayed blank and dry.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Relena sat in her chair, unmoving
.
Dorothy glanced down at her outfit, and smirked. Her dress flared just below her thighs, and the color accentuated her ice-blue eyes. Catching her reflection in the mirror, she smoothed her distinctive eyebrows, the ones she had inherited from the Kushrenada blood flowing through her. She had tried for the past half hour to try to rouse some sort of reaction from the silent Princess, but had quit as Relena refused to even acknowledge the other blonde's presence.
Dorothy was starting to have doubts of her own. Relena seemed to not be in the right "condition" to see the pilots. Her thoughts stopped and she smiled wryly. In all situations, she was not in the real mood to see them either. Much time had gone by in the past years; and she had forgotten how much she had dreaded encountering them again.
The last time she had a face-to-face encounter with the pilots was when she had nearly killed Quatre. Her eyes darkened, as wisps of past deeds caught up with her. She remembered painfully of the wounds she had inflicted on the innocent Quatre, as he tried to show her what her eyes and Grandfather had blinded for the whole of her life. Dorothy vividly recalled the look of loathing that had passed from Trowa to her after he saw Quatre's wound.
And that was not even half of what seemed to have happened that day with Heero Yuy, from what she had heard....
/"Ms. Catalonia?"
Dorothy turned from her brisk walk toward the conference room of Milliardo Peacecraft. Casting the hapless aide a glare that would have melted granite, she asked curtly, "What?"
"Um, Mr. Peacecraft asked not to be interrupted."
"He'll want to talk to ME."
With those final words, she stalked toward his room, before bursting in on Milliardo, Noins, Lady Une, and Sally. Without even giving a greeting, she ground out, "Where. Is. That. Bastard." Her eyes flashed with what she was feeling, and she saw the four glance at each other, before sighing collectively, and saying, "Get in line."
Dorothy plopped herself down on the chair, before asking angrily, "What the hell is going on? What's with Yuy telling her like that? From what I've seen, I thought he would let her chase him for the rest of his life, and content her to that little measure of happiness." She banged her fist on the table, sending the papers flying, and the pens rolling hither thither. Milliardo looked at the mess, before sighing, and giving up on work.
Noins cleared her throat carefully. "There was... a change in THEIR... relationship."
"Or so they say." Sally added dryly.
Dorothy looked at the two of them with disbelief. A myriad of conflicting emotions in her was battling, and she felt disappointment bubbling up in her. Disappointment, disappointment with Duo most of all. She had thought for sure, the long-braided baka would be smart enough to keep their relationship a secret from the princess. Surely he had known that no good would come out of telling her. "Then Duo is a bigger fool than I thought. He's destroyed the only shield he and Heero had from prying eyes." The bitterness in her voice was evident, from her frown.
Lady Une extracted a file from her bag. Clearing her throat, she said, "Currently, the personal bodyguards of Relena Darlian are the Gundam Pilots Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton, Quatre Raberba Winner, and Chang Wufei. But, this can be easily remedied if wanted. I have doubts that Relena would wish that the Pilots continue on as her bodyguards." She raised one eyebrow in question, leaving the options hanging in the air.
Dorothy shifted uneasily. She could almost predict the uproar in which the switch would create. Interjecting, she voiced her thoughts slowly. "The Pilots are considered the best of all the Preventers. There is no one out there who doesn't know their skills. It's a known fact the Peacecraft family trusts them, and everyone knows of their loyalty to Relena. That was the reason they were assigned to Relena in the first place. If we suddenly switched the bodyguards, with no readily explainable reason, there would be mass questioning about what happened. There would be speculation about what happened between Relena and Heero; someone might even find out about their meeting."
Milliardo sighed heavily, his dark blue eyes looking tired, and full of regret. "I've thought about that. Even if there weren't the media, I would still nix the idea of them not protecting her. The terrorists are desperate and will stop at nothing to kill Relena. The pilots, as much as I hate to say it, are the only ones qualified and skilled enough to protect her." He narrowed his eyes, and for one moment looked more like the Lightening Baron, than the peace-loving Milliardo.
Sally gave an exasperated snort. "What are we going to do? Relena has not left her room since yesterday, and the media are bugging us about what exactly is wrong with her. We can't say she's sick forever. And at this rate, somehow, they're going to get wind of what happened."
Lady Une sighed heavily. "There is nothing we can do. I don't even know where the pilots are; they disappeared after yesterday's little confrontation. If I didn't know better, I would think they were avoiding this place."
Noins snorted. "Why wouldn't they? They must know that nearly all of us are out for blood."
Une testified to this with her silence.
Various thoughts on what should be done ran through Dorothy's head; unfortunately, none of them were usable, as they all included bloodletting. Finally, she burst out angrily, "This is just great. What a fucking, stupid thing the pilots had to go and do."
Nothing more was said, as the group continued to pace, think, curse soundlessly, and polish a gun.
A soft rap, sounded from the door.
"What?" Milliardo asked, his voice sounding exasperated.
Relena came in, her face pale but composed.
Dorothy leaped up, her face shocked. There was no way Relena could have recovered this fast from such a wrenching blow. It was literally impossible. She hurried forward, her words stringing soundlessly, trying to find a tactful way of asking the questions that were preying all their minds. But, being the blunt person she was, she finally settled on the question, "What the hell?"
Relena did not react to her harsh words; only glanced at the icy-blue eyes, before she turned to her brother, and asked in a flat, emotionless voice, "Brother, I am sorry for the inconvenience I put you through. My body was not feeling well. We must start on those alliance talks; the ambassador from L3 has been waiting patiently for three days now. Sally, if you would be so kind as to escort him to the main conference room. Apologize for my untimely disappearance."
There was general disbelieving silence, before Sally nodded, half in a daze. She left the room silently.
Noins stepped forward, and eyed Relena. Holding her hand out, she took the silent girl gently by the hand, and led her to a seat. Setting her down, she rubbed her back, and asked in a soft voice, "Are you okay, Relena?"
Relena stared ahead, before breaking into a smile, a smile they were all very familiar with, and one they had thought they would never see again. Something was different though. There was something missing in that innocent smile.
And Milliardo realized exactly what was missing.
The innocence.
He felt as though the bottom of his stomach had dropped out.
"I'm perfectly well Noins. I just needed a little time to rest." She rose gracefully from her chair, amid the protests of Lady Une and Noins, and slipped out of the room, not giving them the chance to drill her. Lady Une felt the first signs of something starting to slip out of their grasps.
And it wasn't a pretty feeling.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Dorothy breathed in very slowly. That meeting seemed to have changed everything. Relena didn't have them change the bodyguards; in fact she insisted that the pilots stay. "good for morale," she had said. But, they weren't the only ones to notice that Relena never talked to the pilots directly. She either sent notes through her faithful secretary, Melissa, or gave a message to Sally, Lady Une, or Noins. Even when they sat down to dinner together, it was almost like they didn't exist.
And the pilots weren't helping much either, from what she had heard from Lady Une. Both Quatre and Wufei had seemed surprised that they were still to continue as her bodyguards. Heero and Trowa, characteristically had said nothing. But, Duo only went quiet, and stopped talking altogether for a few days. Wufei had commented on the beauty of the peace, but anyone could tell he was worried about the American pilot.
A few months ago, Noins had gotten so worried, that she had called for Dorothy to come to the Sank Kingdom. She had sounded almost hysterical over the phone, and Dorothy, alarmed, had asked her what was wrong. All Noins could do was choke out that Relena wasn't responding at all. She had all been prepared to go, when Noins had called back, only a few hours later, saying the crisis was over, her voice tired, and almost bitter. Dorothy didn't pry, stayed where she was, but didn't unpack her bags.
She had tried many ways to delve into Relena's thoughts; unfortunately, they all seemed to be blocked, either by a gentle reassurance, or a blunt, "I'm okay." And Dorothy felt that everything was not "okay".
Her head started pounding.
She froze when she heard the doorbell ring. Barely breathing, she heard the faint murmurs in the main hallway, and the clear, crisp voice of Melissa, inviting them in. Letting out the sigh, she walked toward Relena, and knelt in front of the sandy-haired girl.
Her ice-blue eyes looked intently into cerulean blue. She searched from some sort of reaction in the bottomless orbs, and she still saw no sign of pain, no real emotion that was visible. Dorothy felt her heart constrict slightly, and whispers from the psychology classes she had taken came back to her...
/When the mind cannot absorb a mental blow, then it will, in a way, shut down, to cope. This is seen in the most common signs of depression, and an early indicator for bi-polar disorder. Subject should be handled with extreme caution when dealing with such issues./
This was not a psychology textbook.
It was real.
Sighing, she stood up, and said softly, "Relena," for once forgoing all the pleasantries she had once used on the pacifist princess. "The pilots are here. We should go out and meet them."
Something flickered in the blue eyes, and she seemed to wake up, as if from a dream-state. Her eyes blinked once, twice. She looked around, and then smiled, the corner of her eyes crinkling. Dorothy followed her movements, as a mask slipped over the delicate features, and sighed as she recognized the "Peacecraft" mask.
Again.
Dorothy rubbed her forehead very gently, before taking a deep breath, and opening the door to the main hallway.
~*~ FINIS ~*~
~*~ Part Four ~*~
Part Four is finished! *Throws confetti around*
Notes:
The psychology little message was copied from an actual textbook on depression.
Yes, I think Dorothy kicks ass. (Except when she stabbed Quatre. She was a little off-base there)
The same with Dorothy as Relena. Constructive criticism is VERY welcome. However, if you send me an e-mail telling me she's a quote, "Sadistic witch." Unquote, than I will very kindly send back an e-mail which will blast you to Mars. If you send the e-mail with intelligent evidence (i.e. no, "You're stupid" comments"), than I will gladly read it, and prepare for a friendly debate. 'Nuff said.
I love Duo, I shall say once more.
Relena is a favorite character of mine. Flame me, don't flame her. Or if you must, try to do it nicely.
This story Copyright Demeter, 2001. This page copyright Jamie carlson, 2001.
Bakc Home
Back to Yaoi/Yuri fics
