He smiled in contentment as he walked up the stairs slowly. The distraction took his mind off his problems. He had been wrestling with his feelings for Relena the past few weeks. The two of them were so different. She was pure and innocent, something that he could not bare to touch for fear he would corrupt her beauty. She didn’t know what it meant to take another human being’s life without another moments thought, or to know that is the only thing that comes naturally, like a talent.

"Someone in league with the devil in love with an angel," he thought as he walked down the hall. He stood in front of his door and punched the door combination clumsily. He opened the door and shed his coat dropping it on the floor. He just wanted to sleep and be with her in his dreams where he could touch her with clean hands instead of his blood stained ones. If only there was way to make her his outside of his dreams.

"I’ve been waiting for you," Relena said softly as she stood before him.

Heero’s eyes widened slightly as he looked at the apparition in front of him. He had to be dreaming. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to show you how I felt about you," she answered as she dropped her cover up to reveal a short negligee underneath. "I came back early just for you." She walked towards him and kissed him deeply.

He tensed up at first but slowly returned her kiss. He pressed her close to his body and held her tightly. "Never leave me," he whispered in her mouth.

"Heero, you’re hurting me," she said as she pushed him away slightly.

"Here is the only place I can have you," he replied. "This is the only place where I deserve you. Stay by my side." He pushed her to the floor. "I want you to be mine."

"Shh."

"Please don’t…"

"I can’t be by myself any more. This is how I can make you mine."

Relena eyes widened as she saw the situation escaping her control. She tried push away from him again but he held her fast as he ripped her negligee open. "Not like this," she said over and over. Her sentence trailed as he covered her mouth with his. The smell of whisky and scotch assaulted her as he kissed her roughly. "I’ll be with you always, just please don’t," she begged.

"I want you to be mine always," he said again, "mine and only mine."

"No," she called out as she felt sharp pain. She started to cry as her innocence drained away like flour through a sift. He continued to hold her hands above her head as she struggled and kicked against him. "No!"

"You’re mine now," he whispered. "Forever." He kissed her again.

Relena looked at him in horror as he continued to ignore her pleas. A light head feeling washed over her as her vision started to blur. The pain started to dull as she lost all sensation and slipped into oblivion.

Moments later she blinked and was staring at the ceiling. She lifted her head and saw Heero sleeping on top of her. She crawled out from under him and pulled the scraps of her garment around her. She picked up the cover up that she wore to the apartment and started for the door. As she reached for the door, she caught sight of her reflection and paused. Her face was streaked with make-up and tears. Her hair was disheveled and her eyes were pain stricken. She had never noticed the mirror before and was surprised that it was even there. Pain caught in her throat as she looked more intensely at her reflection. She did not like the view of her soul that it showed her. Her blue eyes grew cold. She put her fist through the mirror. Her reflection shattered into thousand jaded Relenas. She looked towards Heero’s sleeping form and walked out.

Relena sat behind her desk and folded her arms about herself. He would be coming up soon. She hadn’t spoken to him in the last two days. She needed to get herself together. "Heero," she said lowly as she heard him open the door and come in.

"How are you?" He looked at her with the same intense stare he always did.

She searched his eyes for any sign of remorse, but saw nothing. Only the coldness she always felt. The same coldness that made her want to do something special for him, to give a part of herself to him. She had hoped by offering her love for him in a manner that totally open and honest he would return the same love. But instead he took something more precious from her and left her cold. It was over, everything was over. "I can’t see you anymore."

"Can I ask why?" he asked lowly. His breath became shallow from shock

"You should already know," she answered. He started to take a step forward. She backed away from in fear. "Don’t come near me."

Heero looked away in confusion and hurt. "You’ll never have to worry about that," he said as he turned on his heel and walked out of the office.

Relena sank into her chair and covered her face as she started to cry. It was a waste. Her life was a complete and utter waste. She chased after Heero for years only to find out all she was a possession for him to try and own. He cared nothing for her. He didn’t even apologize for what he did. If he only cared she would have taken him back, but he didn’t even care to fight for her. He just let her be discarded after he was through using her. Trash. Trash was all she was to him, to be used, abused, and dealt with at his convenience. It was all going to stop now.

***

Millardo sat across from Lucrezia worriedly. "She won’t tell me what’s wrong," he sighed. "She just sits in her room and she’s been there since she came home from the office yesterday."

"Do you want me to talk to her?" she offered as she put her arms around her love.

"It would be greatly appreciated," he replied as he patted her arm affectionately.

Lucrezia nodded then stood. She started up the stairs to Relena’s room. She knocked on the door and the door pushed open slightly as it knocked against something. Lucrezia’s heart started to pound as she heard a thud from inside. She peered through the crack and saw Relena’s hand near a bottle of pills. "Milliardo!" she screamed as she pushed against the door, but it refused to move.

"What’s wrong?" he asked frantically as came up beside her.

"She’s taken pills," she answered. Pushing on the door.

Millardo’s face whitened and he moved Lucrezia away so she wouldn’t be hurt. He lifted his foot and kicked the door, knocking it off of its hinges. "Get the car." Millardo rushed to the young woman on the floor and proceeded to shake her while Lucrezia went to get the car. "Relena, wake up! Wake up!" she slapped her face hard enough to try and get her attention.

The young woman stirred slightly. "A waste," she mumbled as her eyes rolled in the back of her head and she started going into convulsions. She shook violently in his arms as he lifted her and rushed down the hall. His heart sank further as the realization that his sister was dying in his arms became more and more of a reality. When he reached the outside of the house, he saw Lucrezia with the car waiting. He jumped in with Relena cradled in his arms.

"We have to hurry," he said frantically as his own composure slipped. He looked at his sister shaking in his arms. Foam started to form in the corners of her mouth, as the shaking became more violent. He took off his jacket and tied it around her just to keep from thrashing about. He gave a sigh relief when they finally arrived at the emergency room.

"We have emergency," Lucrezia called as she helped Millardo get Relena out of the car. EMTs ran outside with a stretcher and help place her on it when Relena stopped convulsing. Millardo stared in shock as they wheeled her away checking her vital signs on the way.

"She’s coded," one of them said, "Code blue!"

Millardo looked around frantically. He didn’t know what that code meant but it did not mean something good judging from the amount of personnel running around. He grabbed one of the nurse’s arms. "What’s code blue?"

"Cardiac arrest," she answered, "her heart has stopped. We need to know what happened?"

"She took a bottle of these," he answered pulling out the empty bottle.

"Vicandin, my gosh," the nurse said in shock. "We’ll have to pump her stomach. Thank, God, you bought these!"

Millardo and Lucrezia watched in horror and confusion as the world rushed around them. They had many questions but right now they needed the doctors to help Relena and them getting in the way would only impede the process.

"Excuse me," a nurse said a couple of hours later.

"Yes," Millardo asked as he sat up.

"The lady you brought in has finally stabilized. She’s very lucky. The amount of pain medication she took would have killed her if she were brought in any later."

"Can I see her?" he asked.

"She’s was adamant about not wanting any visitors," the nurse said regretfully. "She put up quite a fight and succeeded in grabbing a pair scissors from a nurse and slicing one of her wrists. We had to restrain and sedate her. We’re going to have a councilor come in and talk with her in the morning."

"How did this happen?" he asked as he buried his face in his hands.

"Mr. Noin, I’m sure there was nothing that you could have done for her. She some how has it in her head that she is worthless and her life is wasted."

"What can I do for her?"

The nurse took a deep breath. "She will hurt herself in the state of mind she is in right now and I suggest that…you commit her."

***

Heero sat in the windowsill of a small private room. He was surprised at the lax security seeing that the facility was supposed to keep the people inside. He looked at the figure lying on the bed. Her limbs were bound by restraints and from where he was he could see bandages from fresh scratches and cuts that had been made on her.

He had only found out about her condition yesterday, though this was her third day in the hospital. She had refused all visitors except for her brother, but he was determined to see her anyway. His heart broke as he saw her staring off at the wall listlessly. "Relena?" he said softly.

No response, just the sound of her breathing. He touched her face gently with his finger hoping for some sign of life from his beloved angel. He could hear a promise in his head in the distance, perhaps from some time ago. "You promised to never leave me," he whispered as he stroked her face. "I know I didn’t deserve you, but all I ever wanted was for you to be mine." Heero raised an eyebrow slightly. If he didn’t know better, he could have swore that cringed from his touch. "I’m never going to let you go," he vowed. He brushed his lips against her and heard the soft sound of whimpering. He sighed as he moved away from her. He didn’t know what he did to make her stop loving him, but he would try his best to fix it.

Relena continued to whimper in fright until Heero left and then quieted again. He wasn’t going to hurt her again. She wasn’t going to allow it. "It’s his fault. He let me chase after him and strung me along for the past four years. He knew what he was doing. He took advantage of me and then left me. He’s been playing with me all this time claiming me piece by piece until all that was left was for him take the last part. He owns my life…he owns my life…he owns…MY LIFE! "