Heero shot up in his bed and looked around the pitch-blackness of the room. “Quatre? I know that was you.” He said aloud but got no reply. Heero growled as tears came to his eyes. “Listen Winner, I never asked you to die for me!” He hissed, angry because of the silence. “I never asked to love you.” Came the soft voice. “But I did anyway, unconditionally.” As Heero watched a baby blue light formed beside his bed, just above the chair sitting on the floor. Soon as Heero watched the sparkle spread out into a body of pale blue. Heero stared at the body with his mouth open. The tears finally fell from his eyes as he took in the wonder before him. Quatre sparkled in a blaze of pale blue glory. Finally, Heero blinked coming out of his daze. “Quatre…how…” He began but couldn’t find any words to say to the apparition of his dead friend. The spirit only smiled. “I didn’t want to leave yet.” He replied. “I guess that you could say that I have some unfinished business to do, but that’s a bit cliché.” He shrugged. /I’m dreaming again, they all seemed so real./ Heero decided but he saw Quatre shake his head, his blue hair brushing against his face. “This isn’t a dream Hee-chan. It’s real.” Quatre insisted gently. “The other dreams were real too…they were my memories.” He said, taking Heero’s hand. Heero gasped at the coldness but he didn’t pull away. It was the same almost burning cold he had felt before. Heero’s eyes snapped away from his hand and he looked into Quatre’s eyes. “You…you were here with me…before.” He whispered softly, studying the image before him. Quatre only smiled and nodded. “How long have you been here?” Heero wondered. “As long as you have been.” Quatre replied. “I’ve never left /you/…I’ve been with you from the very beginning…or end I guess. Every since I died.” Quatre shrugged. “I…didn’t want to leave you yet.” Heero thought of these words for a few minutes, then he sighed. “If you’ve never left, then where have you been?” He asked softly. Quatre bit his lip. “I kind of…possessed you. You didn’t know and I didn’t do anything to let you know.” He said sheepishly and he blushed a dark blue. “I thought something was going to happen, to give me away. But the only thing that was barely obvious was your eyes.” He smiled. Heero was confused. “What do you mean my eyes?” He voiced his confusion. “Before you met my sister Iria.” Quatre began to explain. “Trowa said that your eyes were lighter, at least seemed lighter. Almost-“ “Green.” Heero finished, then looked into Quatre’s eyes. He hadn’t noticed before, but while the rest of Quatre’s body was blue his eyes had remained their usual bright color. “Or aquamarine.” Heero concluded. Quatre smiled but Heero sighed. “Why don’t you leave? I mean, I know you don’t /want/ to but that means you want to do something.” Quatre nodded. “I want you to take two missions for me.” He fidgeted. “One is important and one is not so important. But…while I’m here I don’t want to waste my time Heero…” The small blue haired blonde was blushing, this made Heero curious. “Um…I know that it’s selfish of me, but…I want a chance to…love you.” He wouldn’t look up and stared at Heero’s flesh colored hand and noticed how it contrasted with his pale blue. “It’s not selfish.” Heero quietly insisted, making Quatre look up at him. This time Heero blushed. “I’m glad that you want that chance…I want that chance with…you.” He whispered and before Quatre’s laugh could register in Heero’s ears he had arms around his neck in an excited hug. He had expected it to hurt, but it didn’t. Heero looked beside him at the blue blonde. Quatre had knocked both of them onto the bed. The deceased Sandrock pilot smiled softly. “Go to sleep Heero. I know you’re tired.” He gently wiped Heero’s damp bangs away. “You have a fever again.” He whispered, concerned. But Heero shook his head. “I don’t want to sleep.” He whispered, not caring if he sounded like a child. Quatre kissed his forehead, his lips as cold as ice sending a shiver of relief through Heero’s body. “What are you afraid of?” He whispered, tucking a piece of Heero’s hair behind his ear. “Are you afraid that I won’t be here when you wake up?” He asked. Heero nodded tiredly. “Don’t be afraid of that. I’ll be here, I promise. Now sleep.” Quatre whispered. Heero could no longer keep his eyes open so he didn’t argue. *** Heero opened his eyes. He had slept soundly and for once, he had had no dreams. /Wait, was Quatre just a dream? He said he’d be here./ The Wing pilot looked around the room but he was alone. He sighed and leaned against the pillow. < I am here, as I promised. You used to trust me. > Quatre’s voice echoed through Heero’s head. “You’re in my head?” Heero asked, a little surprised at first, then remembered that that’s where Quatre had been since his death. Now that Heero knew where his friend was, he could feel the difference. He felt almost…weird. < Sorry, you’ll be able to feel what other people are feeling. While you were hurt I blocked it off so you could rest. It is rather distracting. And you don’t have to talk out loud to speak to me. I /am/ in your head after all, but I can’t read your thoughts unless you think directly to me or I pry. > Heero trusted Quatre not to pry. He sighed and closed his eyes to rest but he was surprised to see Quatre before his closed lids. The small blonde, and he was blonde again, was sitting in a corner of a black room. The boy had his knees up to his face and his head resting on his knees. “Quatre?” He whispered. The boy looked up and smiled. “I’ll be here whenever you want to see me.” Heero nodded and was about to say something but was interrupted by a voice. Heero opened his eyes and looked up at Duo. Duo smiled slowly and Heero realized that it didn’t meet his eyes, in fact, it hadn’t sine Heero had woken up from his coma. /Probably Quatre’s death./ He realized, but a part of him wished that Duo would break down and cry, just like the Wing pilot knew he wanted to do. < Crying isn’t Duo’s way. He hides things by smiling and laughing. Can’t you feel his pain? > Quatre said softly. Heero checked his body and found a slight numbing pain in his chest. < That’s only part of what duo is feeling. > “You had us worried again last night.” Duo said. Heero looked at him in confusion. Duo laughed, but it was fake and forced. “You had a fever, then woke up and started talking to yourself. Something about ‘I never asked you to die for me.’ Well, something like that.” The black clad pilot shrugged. Heero was confused at first, then he remembered saying those words. He almost laughed. He hadn’t been talking to himself; he had been talking to Quatre. “I was talking to-“ < No! > Quatre shouted, causing Heero to cringe. < Don’t tell him about me. Nobody but you can see me, they don’t know that I’m here and how many of them do you think would believe you? You’ve been suffering from extremely high fevers, they’d think you had hallucinated or dreamt me up. > All the while Quatre talked, Duo was fussing over Heero after seeing him flinch. “I’m fine Duo.” Heero tried to sound reassuring. “I just have a bit of a headache.” He felt the panic that seemed to throb around the Deathscythe pilot slowly diminish until it was nothing. “As I was asking. I was talking to myself?” Heero heard Quatre sigh of relief. Duo smiled. “Yeah! I mean you were sitting up and talking to the chair like there was someone in it. Most of the time you were talking quietly, so we didn’t hear everything.” Duo shrugged. “Wu was with me and we were with Trowa.” Heero nodded as he relaxed against the pillows. They were silent for a few minutes, then Heero spoke. “When can I get out?” He wondered. The small room was comfortable but it was also confining. “Well, if you want, Wufei and I were going to take Trowa out for a while. Nobody thinks that he should be alone right now…he’s not completely stable and we don’t want him to try anything.” Duo shrugged. “There’s a big park just behind this facility. We were planning a sort of picnic. That sound good?” He asked. “Sounds fine.” Heero nodded, ignoring the Arabic language echoing in his mind. “Just come get me whenever you want.” “Cool, we will probably kidnap you guys in an hour. I’m going to go now so you can rest. You’ll probably want some.” Duo grinned. “See ya later Heero!” The pilot bounded out of the room. Heero sighed and closed his eyes, he found Quatre lying on his back staring up at the black nothingness. Heero could sense the sadness radiating off the beautiful ghost. Slowly, Heero ‘walked’ over to him and lay beside him. “What are you doing?” He wondered softly. Quatre sighed and slid his hand into Heero’s. It was warm this time, the temperature of living flesh. “I’m thinking about Trowa.” He whispered. “They don’t realize that he’s too smart to hurt himself. He /is/ stable. He loves you very much and he wouldn’t leave you just for me.” The boy shook his head and turned to look at Heero. “Maybe if both of us had been killed.” Heero sighed. “I wish I had known.” He mumbled as he turned and stared up at the blackness hanging above them. It was too dark, too depressing. The Wing pilot pictured a blue sky with fluffy cotton clouds. Slowly, it appeared before him and he gasped. Quatre giggled softly. “We’re in your subconscious, even though you aren’t asleep. You can make anything happen here.” He explained. “Really?” Heero wondered, then pictured another scene. Slowly it appeared before them. Quatre was surprised and sat up really fast, rocking the boat. This time Heero chuckled. “Never been on a boat before?” He asked patiently. “No.” Quatre shook his head as he sat back down. After a minute of silence he smiled. “It’s peaceful.” He lay back beside Heero, this time he cuddled up to Heero’s side, resting his head on the other boy’s shoulder. Heero couldn’t help blushing as Quatre sighed contently. Slowly, the normally detached pilot relaxed and wrapped his arm around Quatre’s back, separating their hands. After a while of silence Quatre spoke again. “Heero? When we get back from the park…will you make love to me?” |
