My Immortal

-Canti-

Her name was Hitomi. That’s what she told me it was. I met her about twenty years ago. Just usually how this story goes, I was lonely. Arestil had killed my girlfriend ten years earlier. I tried not to fall in love, but it just happens. You can’t control love. Avoiding it never works. Love just keeps finding me.

That was the case when I met Hitomi.

I think it was about wintertime. I decided to get out in the living realm for a change. Life in Ronahon was getting boring at the time. I wanted to see how the humans were enjoying Christmas that year. I blended into the crowd with a long black coat and hat. Small flakes of snow started falling from the sky. The music from the shops floated around me. The bright Christmas lights made me think of tiny stars. Girls dressed up as female Santa handed flyers for Christmas cake. Lovers walked along the streets talking about their plans for Christmas. Seeing them so close made my heart ache.

“Excuse me! Satoru?” I heard behind me. I stopped and turned around. A woman in a dark brown coat came running up to me. I tilted my head. Who was this woman? Why was she running towards me? And who was Satoru?

“Hey!” she shouted. I had a confused look on my face. Then she stopped when she was halfway towards me.

“Oh, you’re not him,” she said. The woman nervously laughed as she rubbed the back of her head.

“I’m so sorry,” she said, bowing. I tilted my head.

“Are you looking for your friend?” I asked. She stood up and looked me in the eye. Was it possible for a human to have eyes so green?

“Oh,” she said. “Not really. He’s just someone I work with.”

“I see…” I said. I got a good look at her lovely round face. Her cheeks looked so red from the cold. Her nose looked so small. I couldn’t tell if she had make-up on or not. The following just spilled out of my mouth without a thought.

“Can you walk around the city with me?” I asked. It didn’t don on me what I said until I saw the look on her face.

“If you don’t mind…” I said.

“Why would I want to do that?” the woman asked. I didn’t have an answer.

“I don’t know,” I said. She raised an eyebrow at me.

“How do I know that you aren’t trying to lure me away somewhere to kill me?” she asked. I quickly put up my hands.

“I’m not!” he said. “I just want to walk about the city tonight. Is that too much to ask?” The woman broke down laughing.

“What?” I asked. She stopped laughing and smiled.

“Alright,” the woman said. “I’ll take you up on that walk, uh…”

“Canti,” I said. “My name is Canti. And you are?” She giggled at me again.

“What?” I asked.

“Funny name,” she said. I made a face at her.

“No, it’s not,” he said. “I think it’s fine.”

“If you say so,” the woman said.

“Well, what is your name?” I asked. She smiled and moved her bangs from her eyes.

“Call me Hitomi,” she said.

“Okay,” I said, nodding. We spent the night walking around the city. Hitomi rested her head on my shoulder. To be in that moment was enough.

I only knew her about ten days. Still, I felt that something could’ve developed between as if there was enough time. I ended up going back to her place. Hitomi turned and kissed me on the lips.

“You sure this is okay?” I asked.

“Uh-huh,” Hitomi said. “My roommate is out of town for the weekend.”

“Oh…” I murmured. She smirked and kissed me again on the lips. I didn’t resist. Hitomi led me back to her room. I landed on my back on her bed. She climbed on top with a smirk on her face. Have I ever been with a girl to bold. I whistled to her.

“Something wrong?” she asked.

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “This is good. I like this.” Hitomi leaned in and kissed me again. I didn’t want to do this, but I just love love and desire. The heart wants what the heart wants. Hitomi reminded me of that on Christmas Eve. For one moment I forgot about the misery my sister brought me when I fell in love. I let myself get wrapped up in the sheets and the lust surrounding Hitomi and I. For once, I could just let go and enjoy myself.

Sadly, that would have to come to an end. Reality crept in when the passionate heat fizzled out. It didn’t start when my sister killed Hitomi. The first time came when Hitomi and I were laying in her bed. She lifted her head and looked at me. I gave her an odd look.

“What is it?” I asked. Hitomi propped up her head with hand and elbow.

“Who broke your heart?” she asked.

“What do you mean?” I asked. Her finger caressed along my cheek.

“Come on,” Hitomi said. “I can tell you have been heartbroken by the look in your eyes. So tell me. Who was she?” My eyes shifted away from her. How many of them should I tell her about? Everything was going great until then. I closed my eyes and sadly smiled.

“You got me,” I said.

“What happened to her?” Hitomi asked. I pulled her into my arms.

“She died,” I said. “My sister killed her.” She had a worried look in her eyes. Oh no, I knew this would happen. I braced myself for what was coming next.

“Why would she do that?” Hitomi asked. She rested her hand against my chest. I held her closer to me.

“I do not know,” I said. “She’s always been jealous of my relationships.” It hurt to say all of that out loud. I sighed.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” she said.

“Can I spend Christmas with you?” I asked. Again, I just asked without thinking. By then, I didn’t care. I just wanted the conversation to stop. Thinking about anything else would’ve been fine. Not thinking at all would’ve been better. Her cheek rested against my heart.

“Sure,” she said. It felt like a small weight had been lifted off my chest. I drew my eyes closed.

“Thank you,” I said as I started to drift off to sleep. I managed to have dreams of a potential future with this woman in my arms.