Three Years of Lonesome - Part 1

I'm hurrying through the square, as usual, what can I say? I don't like crowds. Never have. Something about 'em, makes me feel like you lose some of your humanity or something. God knows I have so precious little of left. Take the other day, for example, just the other day.

This kid, he's only fucking seven years old for Christ's Sake, seven years old, he gets run over by some semi or something. Or a truck. I can't remember. But I was there, I mean, I think I was. It's a little hazy. Maybe it wasn't yesterday? A week ago?

Naw, it was, 'cause I remember that godawful breakfast danish the diner served. What a piece of crap. Anyway, this little kid, maybe eight, probably seven, yeah, I think it was seven, he gets run over by this truck. Or was it car? Naw, a truck.

And I'm just standing there, outside the diner, watching. The 'meds arrive come pretty quick, but there's nothing they can do. The little bugger's head was squished and all, you know? Kinda hard to make *that* boo-boo all better. And then they start coming around asking people if they want *counseling* for that. What a waste of dough. 

But, you know, the worst part was I didn't even feel anything for that kid. I mean, I was like, 'Ick, gross, his head's all smushed!' But that was it. Total lack of feeling there. I mean, the kid died. But I was like, so? I seen lotsa dead people. Doesn't matter. Felt nothing.

I mean, maybe I'm a *little* less of a monster 'cause I'm worried about my ethics - or lack of them, but I don't really think so. Either way you look at it, I'm the epitome of the freakish, souless, crazy, broken-soldier (Or useless soldier. 'Cause I'm that, too.) sterotype. 

But, yeah. So I sure as hell don't need any crowds or groups or any shit like that - the stuff that kinda makes you feel like you're less of a person or something. Maybe. I dunno. I'm not feeling too well right now, catch my drift?

'S prolly all the people. Don't like a lotta people all together. But I'll quit now, before I end up circling back on my reasons like some stupid dog chasing it's tail or something. You know, that's one of the saddest things I'll ever see, maybe. 

Probably not sadder than a little boy coming home from some stupid exploit only to see his entire family murdered and blown to bits, home in flames, but still, you know...I mean, it's so pointless. The stupid dog *knows* it can't get it's freaking tail, so what's the point of freaking chasing it in the first place? What a waste of energy. Time. Potential.

Anyway, like I said, the square's pretty packed. Beats the hell outta me, though. Square's usually packed, just not to this extent. Whatever, beats me. I dun really care. Social things are *so* pointless. 

So, yeah, I'm just walking along there, good little Maxwell boy that I am (Hah! Good?! But, you *did* know who I was right? I mean, I left *all* the little hints there, you know? And if you couldn't figure it out, well, damn, I just told you. So you should know by now.) and the stupid fat ass mayor calls out to me. I try to ignore him, but damn, the fatty can be quite loud when he wants to be. Kinda like me. But, anyway...

"Duo! DUO! DUO MAXWELL!" Yeah, I did decide not to change my name. Guess I got too damn familiar with it. A liability, I *know*, but who the hell would come looking for me anyway? 'Specially in a place like *this*. I'd always made it clear before that I was uncomfortable with opulent surroundings, still am. 

"Why, DUO, look who came here to see you!" The mayor broadcasted again to my hunched over form. Damn the fates anyway for making him have such a loud mouth...But I'm already pushing my way past the pressing crowd of the curious and admiring, richly dressed people. Guess I must look pretty under-dressed, huh?

My lucky jeans, probably about five years old...They're baggy, and they've got holes allover 'em. No changes, maybe I got a little skinnier, Heero always used to tell me I needed to eat more...I mentally shug, putting the unpleasant memory aside. He made it clear I was none of his concern anymore.

Yeah, and a killer sleeveless, (It's camo, and it reads 'Death is just a darker shade of camo' Corny, but...I like it.) it may be a little cool for it, but...Well, fine, it's the middle of winter, but I can wear whatever I want to. Oh, yeah, and these totally kickin' military regulation steel toe boots...Dammit, *I* was a gundam pilot, better than your average Ozzie mindless creep. Why didn't *I* ever get steel-toe? 

Anyway. He calls me over to him, and I walk over, just for the hell of it. Gotta please that mayor, might get kicked outta town, ne? 

He frowns a little at my lack of 'proper attire' (He knows I can dress good, he's seen me in a suit before. Damn those stupid functions anyway. But they were held in my honor, so...) 

The whole town kinda views me as their little curiosity. Like a monkey. I don't care. Let 'em think what they will and to hell with 'em, hm? Yeah, that's it exactly. 

So, I slouch on over, and mayor-boy's just burbling about the esteemed Lady this and the esteemed Lady that, I can't see around his bulk about who he's going on about, so I ask him what the hell this is all about. I use nicer words, of course. I gotta a 'rep-u-ta-tion' now to keep up with. Damned hard thing to keep up with, I say. Don't really see the point of it, but, hey, it gets me where I wanna be quicker. Sometimes.

He announces loudly, for the reporters, I guess, I hadn't seen them really till now, "Why, Duo, the Lady Relena Peacecraft, and her constant protector, Heero Yui, renowned soldier during the war, are here to see you!" 

Okay. That one, hurt, I gotta admit. I mean, he told me where he was going, but...It wasn't so hard to think about it like that. I mean, Heero was gone, life went on...But now, *seeing* it. *That* hurt. Yeah. It did.

Did I mention mayor didn't know I was also a 'renowned soldier'? Yeah, but only Heero got to keep the 'renowned' title. I would just be his 'comrade'. The one behind the scenes? The prop? The one nobody notices. Heero was, and always would be, the 'prince'. Nobody cared about *my* pain, my sob-story, my fucking training, what *I* went through. What a bunch of crap. What a waste of time.

I almost walk away, but then, I remember my polite, cultivated image, and I summon up the biggest, fakest, shit-eating grin I can. "Why, what a pleasant surprise!" I exclaim, honeying my words. Making them sound so sugary sweet and so sickeningly fake. 

The mayor steps aside, throwing his bulk about somewhere else I suppose, and then I can really see the 'Lady' Relena, and her 'Protector' Heero. 

They really do make a good couple. Really. She's resplendent in her gown of pale lilac, so composed, so beautiful. Her hair is done up in an intricate braided arrangement. Heero stands slightly behind her, but outshining her by far. At least in my opinion. He's wearing a suit, a freaking suit. It's a rich, dark blue, just the color of his eyes. Did I ever tell him how sexy he looked when he wore that color? I doubt it. He looks determined. I laugh, quietly, in my head. Yes, they do make a good couple. A damned fine couple. Sometimes I can be too masochistic for my own good.

I bow, slightly, and it looks elegant, I know. I've practiced enough, it looks *good*. I take Relena's hand and kiss it softly. She can't help it if Heero loves her. Besides, she's a sweet kid, I...Anyway. I grasp Heero's hand and shake it, with no inflection of feeling, totally ignoring him. Former lovers indeed.

The mayor is still standing there, all those people watching me, wondering why Relena Peacecraft would come and see *me*? Sure, I am pretty famous, damn famous in fact, but still...

"Lady Relena, Heero and I, we all go back a ways. We knew eachother...during the war." I smile briefly at the rotund, self-important man standing before me, and begin walking slowly back to my own apartment. 

Relena and Heero follow, and the crowds quietly dissipate, and I find myself in relative privacy with the two of them. Shit, this is gonna hurt.

"So..." I begin. "What brings you here?" 

"Oh." Relena said, smiling simply, "You could say I'm on a...mission for a mutual friend of ours." She winked, and I was more confused than when I had started out.

"Uhh..." I said, at a loss for words. (For once.)

Heero hung back behind us both, 'guarding' against danger. I almost laughed, really.

We eventually got back to my apartment, and I invited the two of them in. This was *so* not gonna be pretty.

Three Years of Lonesome - Part 2

*Heero*

"Here it is Relena, Heero. Home sweet home." Duo said as he grinned maniacally. 

I almost snorted. He was still the baka. No, correction, he still *played* the baka. Because I could tell he was faking his stupid grin, faking it all. I wish I knew what he really held under his mask...

He produced his plastic access card with a flourish, and slid it through the entry slot in the same fluid motion. He still hadn't lost his incredible grace...

He toed the door and it softly slid open. Relena immediately rushed in, exclaiming about his 'incredible decorating taste'. He was still standing by the door, impatiently, I could tell, waiting for me to step into his home. 

I opened my mouth, it was incredibly dry, and then began my apology. To tell him how badly I wanted him back. How much I missed him. How much I...loved him.

"Duo, I..." I trailed off, unsure as how to proceed. God, how *did* you go about doing this?!

He interrupted me, his gentle voice sweet and honey-like. "Let me guess, Heero dearest. You just love me so much, you had to back to me. And you wanted to say you're really, really, sorry for what you're done." He paused there, slightly.

I wanted to cry I was so happy - Duo had known! He'd known all along! But why hadn't he sought me out if- I was on the verge of nodding, when Duo suddenly smiled a cruel and predatory smile. No, no, that was wrong...

"Yeah, and I'm an angel. I won't tell Relena that there ever used to be an *us*. I promise. You don't have to worry about me butting in on your relationship. Just as long as she doesn't mind that she wasn't your first, ne?" He said coldly, then walked away with a cheerful smile.

God, Duo, had I hurt you that badly? I didn't think you would care. Or...miss me. You said you would, but...I should've known. Duo Maxwell never lies.

I walked in, finally, shutting the door behind me.

Relena and Duo were having an animated conversation about books, and, feeling like I was intruding, sat down in an unclaimed love seat.

"So, what kind of books do you like?" 

"Oh, almost anything, Duo. Most everything goes." Relena gracefully shrugged.

"Oh, that's good..." Duo replied, probably wondering why Relena and I were here. But I could tell, he was too polite to ask straight out. He would wait awhile, and then...

"So, what do *you* like, Duo?" Relena asked with a bright, sunny smile.

"Hm? Wha-? Oh. Uh, I like poetry, fantasy, you know." He answered absently, and I wished I really knew what he was thinking about.

"Aa." Relena said, and I could've smacked my forehead. Speaking Japanese was a habit she'd gotten from *me*. Duo would automatically assume...

Duo just smiled wistfully and asked, "Is there any particular author you fancy, Relena?" 

She answered hesitantly, obviously thinking hard on it. "Yes, there *is* one particular author I like..."

"Who is it?" Duo asked, sounding mildly curious.

"Hmm...Yes, it would have to be Ruari B. Malachai..." She said, smiling. She wasn't prepared for what Duo did next, though.

He started coughing violently, and it looked like he was choking on something.

My heart leapt in my throat, and I rushed over and smacked Duo on the back. Hard.

His coughs gradually abated, and he looked at me and simply said, "Thank you." 

Feeling suddenly awkward, I walked back to my chair.

In answer to our inquiring looks, he shifted nervously, then answered, "I just didn't think you would be into him, Relena-san...I mean he generally writes pretty violent, non-peaceful stuff..."

Relena grinned, then answered, "That's why he's so interesting to read! It's a whole different viewpoint to read! He's my favorite author EVER! He's amazing!" 

Duo smiled, for real this time, and said thoughtfully, "You sound quite the adoring fan...I think I can get you something, wait a sec..." 

He got up and walked out of sight, returning in a moment with a handful of books and a whole stack of papers.

He plopped himself back onto his (leather) couch, and handed the whole mess across the small coffee table to Relena, who squealed and enveloped him instantly into a big glomp.

I felt a huge stab of jealousy, but tried to ignore it. She wouldn't...She told me...

"Duo...OmiGOSH! Thank you...So much! This means so much to me!" She said against his shoulder.

He gently extricated himself from her grasp with a painful smile, saying only, "Don't you think Heero's bound to get a little jealous?" 

I thought instantly, Not of you, of *Relena*!

Relena looked confused, but let it slip in her profuse thanks to Duo. Curious as to what all the stuff was, I pulled myself off the love seat and strolled over to sit down on the couch by Relena. I had a feeling Duo would clobber me if I tried the same with him.

The 'stuff' was in fact a few first editions of some of Ruari B. Malachai's work, all were autographed, and the papers...Wow, he'd given her a *manuscript*! But how could he have come by such a valuable thing?! I mean, even *I* knew who Ruari B. Malachai was!

- One the most popular authors/artists of all time, rumored to live on this very colony. It was all unconfirmed, of course, but still...

I think part of the reason Relena agreed to take some time off was because of these elusive rumors...

Even the publishers had no idea where he lived...

Some of the colony people had *said* he lived here, that they'd even seen him...Especially the mayor. He'd been too greedy though, thinking that Relena would spend so much money on something so personal! She *was* quite dedicated.

That didn't matter. I'd help Relena find Ruari B. Malachai, *after* I made up with Duo...

I shook my head slowly, and re-focused my attention as Duo said, "Oh, yeah, I know Ruari. Pretty well, I guess. He's ok. I mean, he's really cynical, but you'd know that from the books, right?"

At Relena's nod, he continued. "Well, he doesn't like to be around a lot of people, that's why he moved here...I'm about the only close friend he has..."

"Why is he so cynical?" Relena asked. 

"He...Someone hurt him very badly a long time ago, so he doesn't trust the world anymore..." Duo replied truthfully.

Relena nodded, then wondered, "But why'd he give you...a manuscript?! That thing must be worth millions! I wouldn't trust it out of my sight..." She flushed when she realized the implications of such a statement, but Duo just gave a crooked grin and replied simply, "He trusts me."

She grinned then asked cautiously, "Do you think I could...meet with him, maybe?" 

Duo looked her over slowly. "I dunno...Ru's pretty short with people. He doesn't like a lot of people, that's why it's so hard to find him."

Relena nodded but asked again, "Please, Duo, I really, really, want to meet him. Could you maybe try, being good friends with him and all?"

He thought for a second, then replied slowly, "I...guess. Can't...hurt, maybe." He said with a laugh. 

I fidgeted. Sure, I read - and liked - Malachai's work as much as the next person, but I sure was getting tired of all this. I mean, Duo wouldn't even *talk* to me...How *had* I let it go so wrong?!

Relena thanked him profusely, and he laughed again, showing his perfect white teeth. 

I tried not to noticeably drool...But when he titled his head back like that...And that shirt! *That* wasn't helping any either...Sleeveless...Oooh...Don't you dare drool, Yui!

As well as...Well, damn. Those *were* his 'lucky' jeans...Guess he still had them, but...They didn't exactly help my situation out any...Baggy, baggy, but full of holes...A *lot* of holes...

He stood up suddenly, dusting his hands off on his jeans. "Dusty papers..." He explained with a grimace. "Ru just *gave* 'em to me one night, and...well, what was I supposed to do? So I laid 'em somewhere and forgot all about 'em..." He chuckled a bit, then continued seriously, "I'll go make some reservations for us four at...Hmmm...Not Dominguez's...Not...no, um...How about Bahama Breeze? Ru just loves it there," He added with a smirk and a rakish wink. Relena nodded enthusiastically, so I guessed she must've been there before. 

"Oh, Relena, don't worry, I'll call him right after that, and make sure that he shows up!" He called out behind him as he jogged toward the phone in what looked like the kitchen. 

I wondered what this Ruari was to him...Were they lovers? He called him 'Ru' and said he stopped by one night...Ugh, stop it Yui! I admonished myself. If they were together, I'd just have to show Duo that I loved him *more*. Malachai might have more money or influence than me, but I didn't care. Duo was *mine*, and no one else's!

Relena grimaced at the surly expression on my face. "Heero, lighten up!" She said. "We're gonna eat a wonderful dinner and see Mr. Malachai!" She chirped. 

"That's what I'm worried about..." I muttered.

"Heero, don't be silly. I'm sure they're not *involved*. Besides," she paused, "Ruari will just *have* to fall for my wonderful charm and eloquence! Who knows, we might even get married!" 

I couldn't tell if she was joking or not. "Stranger things have happened..." I said cautiously.

Our little conversation over, I reclined back on the couch and tried to listen to what Duo was saying. 

Sneaky? Exactly. I knew I could, even though a normal person wouldn't have been able to. I was hoping Duo'd forgotten that. 

"Yeah...Okay, yeah, I *know*! And I want your best table, too, or I'll have your ass on a platter as main course! NO! Not THAT way! EWWWW!" 

Okay, nothing interesting there...I was feeling slightly ashamed, when I caught the next part.

"Reservations? For three, of course."

Three Years of Lonesome - Part 3

*Duo*

I hang up the phone, snickering a bit at Adam's weird sense of humor. Shit, he was the only waiter-dude I'd ever met who even knew *how* to laugh. 

I stroll back into my posh living room, courtesy of all the money I'd made, and meet Relena and Heero's respective stares. 

"It's done," I announce softly, yet I was seething inside. How dare he come back?! 

Relena smiled and clapped her hands together. "Oh good, *finally* I get to meet the famous Malachai!"

Inwardly I snort. Why didn't she just use all her power and influence to meet with 'Malachai'? Whatever. Not my damn problem.

"Duo." Heero's sexy voice pulls me out of my reverie. 

"What?" I snap irritatedly. Why did he always have to do that? Goddamn, he wasn't supposed to have come back...

Heero didn't answer. Damn, he was so annoying. "He probably wanted to ask where the bathroom was." Relena said helpfully. 

I almost smirk. Oh, no, can't do that, Maxwell, nope, that'd be bad. Then she'd ask why and that would get messy. No, I didn't want to remember. Not at all.

"Ah. Well, the guest bath is down the hall on the right, you might want to ready yourselves before we go?" I inquire like any well-bred gentleman. 

Ha, damn, and that was the funniest yet. If you count well-bred as having Mommy the happy whore and Daddy the wonderful paying customer as 'well-bred' parents, then, yeah...I just happened to be an unfortunate 'side effect.'

I show them both to the bathroom, then escape to my bedroom. GodDAMN. This was not going well. 

I chide myself. Dammit, Maxwell-boy, Heero's only here to protect Relena. It's not like he wants you back or anything. Fuck, I don't know if I'd *want* him back, even if he did go down on bended...knees. I always was a sucker for a pretty piece of ass.

I leer, then it fades away. No matter how much money you spend on training, or even how much time you spend practicing, you can never take the street outta the rat. 

Yeah. I'd always just be a fucking filthy street rat from L2, maybe dressed a bit better, that's all.

My bed provides a wonderful distraction. All black satin sheets, so nice and soft to touch...

Like him. Oh god, please don't go there, Maxwell. Please. I don't wanna remember, don't wanna even think about how he left. How he abandoned me for...Fuck, too late. 

-----------------
*Flashback*

"Heero, wha-? What's going on, koi?" I ask, so cheerful and happy. God, I'd kill to be that way again...

"Packing." He grunts, and I roll my eyes in exasperation. That was like, so obvious. 

"Hee~ro!" I half-yell, and he looks me, finally. There's something wrong with his eyes, his beautiful cobalt eyes.

I'm shocked to silence. His eyes are so gone, so worn, so dull. Like a man without a soul...

I take a step toward him, after all, he is my lover, my koi, my beautiful Heero. 

He's still looking at me like that, god why won't he stop? "Heero?" I tentatively reach out to touch his shoulder. 

He's shaking with supressed emotion. What could do this to him? He cruelly answers my unspoken question a second later.

"I'm leaving." He's so cold, so cold...why?

"What?" That's my intelligent answer. A one syllable word, muttered through a haze of shock and doubt. 

"I have to go to Relena." He answers indifferently.

"But...Heero, I thought..." I trail off in confusion. This was so wrong! What was happening?!

"You thought what? You thought you mattered to me? You?! You're nothing, Duo. You *were* a good lay, but I bet I could find any street whore less demanding." He said, his back to me. To us. He's leaving?

"Heero?" I say, again. This hurts. Oh god it hurts. It wasn't supposed to be like this, we were supposed to love eachother and live happily ever after together forever and ever...

"Duo. I won't tell you to leave. I'm doing that already. Relena needs me. She asked me to come to her. So move on and forget about me, because I sure as hell won't remember you. You're *nothing* Duo, fucking worthless, just a fucking pretty play toy!" He screams out at me. He's walking towards me, will he hit me? Will he rip me apart like he's already done my insides?

I'm leaning against the wall. It's so solid, so comforting. The wall will hold me up, away from Heero's hurtful words. He can't mean it...He really can't mean it. No...Yes. My love for him - did he know? won't let me let it go like this, not like this, no...

"Heero-" I start desperately, and my voice is high-pitched and funny sounding. I would've giggled if I'd had enough air. Really.

"Heero, I love you!" I burst out, expecting him to stop methodically packing, to stop...Maybe? To tell me it was all a lie, a cruel joke, something? That he loved me too?

He kept packing. He was almost done, a small part of my brain noted. Almost done. 

"Heero, don't you care? About us? About me?" I say again, hoping to god for a miracle, oh god I need a miracle so bad please god I never meant to be such a bad boy, really. Please? Please god? I love him so much it hurts inside I think something's breaking please oh god please...

But god doesn't exist, right? Only the god of death, Shinigami - me. It's so fucking symbolic it makes me want to scream. I'm the only thing I believe in - Death, me, one and the same, since when did I need Heero? Since always I thought, heart beating erratically. Since always.

"Duo. I told you to go fucking get a life. There *is* no us. Never fucking will be. I'm a trained gundam pilot...You're just a whore."

That was it. That was the last fucking straw, I swear to god I'm gonna kill him. After, Shinigami kills all those he loves, why should it be any different now? 

My pride can't take any more, my damn fucking pride. Fuck the concept of love and a perfect relationship. My life was fucking going to pieces, and I was gonna take him with me for causing it all.

I launched myself at him, screaming incoherently, but the perfect soldier is trained for all occasions. 

He catches me lightly like I weigh nothing at all, and for a moment I feel like I'm safe in his arms once again, so safe...

The moment passes as he absorbs my momentum and hurls me with all his strength toward the opposite wall...Damn, he is strong.

I crash into it, promising myself I will *not* black out, I *will* see this throught to the bitter fucking end, I will...

But it hurts, it just hurts so much I can't stay awake when the dark is so comforting...

When I wake up he's gone. No nothing, not even a damn note. Bastard. 

It took me over half a year to get over him, and one time I particularly remember when I went on a rampage and smashed all the mirrors in the house. 

Couldn't bear to look at myself anymore, couldn't bear to look at what I'd become, the whore Heero had said I was. 

But I did get over him. He was gone, a thing of the past, something to be mourned like the childhood I'd never had, but not really something you think about often. 

I got along, wrote books, magnificent books, resplendent in their glamour of pain for him, it was the pain that made me write.

I wrote about anything, everything, telling about how it felt like something was missing every day, how it felt like I was being slowly ripped apart from the inside out.

I wrote about the war, how it got him and I together, how the mutilated bodies of soldiers chased me through me sleep, and in the end your eyes stared accusingly at me, /Whore...whore...whore.../

But now that all changed. You came back.

-----------------------
*End Flashback*

"Fuck." I growl tiredly, running a hand through my long bangs, they *have* grown awfully long. I hadn't taken the time to care for them, hadn't really given a damn, ever since *he* left...

"There's no time to think about shit like that, Maxwell-O. Relena and Heero-darling are waiting, and I have yet to get dressed." I mutter to myself quietly, rolling off the bed at the same time.

The wardrobe looks invitingly at me, so I strut over to it. Whore Maxwell can't refuse an invitation, can he? 

Ah, but that's wrong. Maxwell is now just Maxwell, not Whore Maxwell. Maxwell's turned over a new leaf, he's an acceptable gentleman in every sense of the word, an accomplished bachelor any woman would want to net.

I laugh quietly. Yes, gentleman indeed...

I grab the first suit that catches my eye from out from the huge antique walnut wardrobe and throw it on carelessly. 

It's black, of course, what other color would I wear?, and it accentuates my slim figure perfectly. 

Too slim. I sigh. It's so hard to keep up with these things, I mean, I always *intend* to eat three meals a day, but I've got a living to earn, right?

I laugh at my white lie. I could live happily on the money I've earned for the rest of my life - I *am* very successful. 

I put on the maroon tie with a practiced motion, slipping it around my neck like a noose. Ugh. Always have hated ties. 

That done, I run a hairbrush thorugh my unbound hair, which I don't even remember taking down, and braid it loosely. There. Enter Duo Maxwell, successful author, perfect GENTLEMAN, wonderfully happy guy.

Yeah. Right.

I take a deep breath and proceed to the living room, where Relena and Heero are impatiently waiting. 

Damn. 

"The limo's waiting," I exclaim happily, and hold my arm out to Relena with a beatific smile.

I ignore Heero. My recent remembrances of him weren't that fond.

I lead Relena out of the apartment, my step light and my eyes all sparkly. 

Damn, that *is* a good trick.

Heero follows, like a specter of Death.

I laugh at that one, laugh out loud, and my laughter is joyous and pealing, beautiful and airy.

It took years to get it to sound that natural.

Three Years of Lonesome - Part 4

*Heero*

The three of us step out of the warm apartment building and into winter's icy grip. Brrr. Cold.

I glance at Duo, who's in front of me, and I'm just in time to see the minute shiver that passes through his tiny figure. Damn...If only I had a coat to lend him. There goes Boyfriend Moment number 6. 

We stop at the waiting limousine, and I almost whistle in appreciation. What a beauty. Sleek...Kind of like someone I knew...

Duo ceremoniously releases Relena's arm and allows her to climb into the limo before him, with a quiet murmur of, "Ladies first." 

He looks at me, then gestures grandly towards the purring black limo. 

"Go on in Heero, I promise it won't kill you. Really." He says with another artificial smile for me. 

I brush past him and whisper into his ear, "You can't keep pretending nothing happened, Duo." Then I slide into the car with practiced ease. Relena happens to really like limousines.

Following me, cool broken, movements jerky with rage, he slams the door shut. Hard. His knuckles are white and shaking.

As soon as the car starts moving, he grabs my arm tightly and growls to me quietly, so Relena won't hear, "Yes I can, you bastard." 

I don't argue. He'll come around eventually, and I'll wait as long as it takes. Besides, he hasn't even *heard* what I have to say to him. What I've brought to offer him. Well, more like tempt, but still...

The limo arrives quickly at Bahama Breeze, but I'm acutely aware of each small, silent fidget Duo gives. 

He seems more controlled, though. Actually, the word I'm searching for is contained.

Ever since Relena and I arrived he's been so...polite. It's almost scary. No rude questions like, 'What the hell are you doing here?!' No 'Fuck off, bastard, and get the hell out of my life,' No nothing. He seems more subdued.

The old Duo I knew would've been jumping up and down by now trying to figure out what we were here for. 

But this wasn't the old Duo, I reminded myself sharply. *I* changed that. It's all *my* fault. He'd still be carefree and happy if it weren't for me. That part really hurts the most.

He opens his door smoothly and walks around to the other end of the limo, not even waiting up for me. He then opens Relena's door courteously for her. 

I was getting a little sick of it all. When would he end the farce, give up this Duo-that-was-not-Duo act?

I sigh tiredly. This wasn't going at all like I had planned it. Duo wasn't...Duo anymore. He'd changed...a lot, apparently for the worse.

/What can you expect Yui, you fucking abandoned him! What's he supposed to act like? Was he supposed to wait around for you? To sit in that damn apartment where you left him until you decided to come back? He's rich and famous now, obviously. He's gotten over you. Give it up./ 

My pessimistic side was back from vacation. Damn. 

No, I won't give him up. Ever. I love him. It took me three damn years to figure it all out, what it all meant, why I felt so empty, but now that I have, I'm not leaving until he comes with me. I love him. I can't live without him. 

/Well that's a lie now isn't it? Because you've got along just fine for three years, right?/ 

I swear, one day I'm going to strangle that evil little voice. 

Resuming my leisurely walk towards the entrance, I glance up and chuckle quietly at the fake palm trees. How charming. 

For once, Duo walks *with* me, not in front. He might not be walking beside me, Relena was in the middle, but I could live with that. For now anyway.

A waiter leads us inside, and I inwardly gasp at how much it must've cost to build the place.

Everything inside...mahogany. My God, it must've been millions, for the structure alone! 

That wasn't even counting the endless stream of original art on the walls, sculptures in alcoves.

Wow...I thought dazedly. Relena just might have taste after all. But, of course it *was* Duo who'd picked it, Relena had only agreed.

The waiter, Adam, (I could tell from the name tag.) grinned at us as he led us over to our table. 

"Here we are, table for three, I'll be along shortly with the menus." He said, with a French accent. It figured. 

Relena frowned slightly and I wondered why. Oh yes...I'd forgotten. My eavesdropping...Table for three? And Ruari was *supposed* to be here. Had Duo lied to us both?!

Duo sat down in his chair with feline grace, and at that moment, I ached to hold him. I missed him so badly...

"Ah, yes. The table for three. I will explain." He said with a mysterious smile, then lowered his voice even further. 

"You see, in reality, Ruari B. Malachai is *right* here in this restaurant with us. Right now. Can you guess who he is?" He asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes, the first genuinely happy emotion I'd seen him express.

Duo crossed his arms expectantly, and leaned back in his chair.

Relena gave a little gasp, and squealed. Ouch. My ears.

"Really?! Oh my gosh! Where is he?!" She started looking around wildly, under the table, the ceiling, everywhere. 

I snorted. Yes, I'm sure the famous Malachai would be on the ceiling, waiting to drop in. Really.

"Really." Duo said, eyes sparkling with mirth. 

I had a sudden sneaking suspicion, and glanced over at him. He winked.

Oh-my-God-he-freaking-winked-at-me! Maybe this wasn't as hopelessly one-sided as I'd thought. 

"Found him yet?" He said with a lazy drawl to Relena. 

She turned towards him slowly and smiled at him. "Yes, I have. I know exactly who he is, Duo."

She had the exact same thought I'd had. 

"Is it...Adam?"

Three Years of Lonesome - Part 5

*Duo*

I heaved a sigh of disappointment. Some people...

"Uh...No, Relena." I tried to say it as gentle as I could, really, but I think some irritation must've shown through. She *was* a good kid, really...

She wilted, and I hastened to comfort her. Hell, I *liked* her. 

"Relena, Ruari's at our table." I said with a grin at her. 

She freaked out. "Omigod! Where is he?!" She got down on her hands and knees and started looking under the table. I looked at Heero. A small smile twitched at the corners of his mouth at Relena's antics.

/Kawaii.../ I thought dazedly, hoping he wouldn't do that very often. I just might have to forgive him for all that he did...Naw...But I did have to admit he *was* very sexy...

Finding no one hiding under our table, she got back into her chair with a huff.

"I give up." She announced. "Really, Duo, who is it?"

I almost rolled my eyes. Hmmm...At our table, not you, obviously not Heero, wonder who it is...?

"Me." I said with a small smile. 

Heero looked at me sidelong, and I guess he was gauging if I was telling the truth or not...Jeez, folks, didn't you read your Duo Maxwell pamphlet on the way over? I'm sure it was a long flight...Maybe page two, 'Habits Of'? 'He may run, he may hide, but he never lies'?

Relena blinked. She looked rather shell-shocked. I didn't blame her. I was one of the more...most successful people in the upper circles.

She blinked again. An uncomprehending look flashed across her face. Damn. What was with blondes anyway?

"Duo!" She yelled, causing several people from nearby tables to look up.

"Yes?" I answered politely. Damn, this was getting good. 

"Duo!" She said again, though less loud.

This was getting a bit repetitive. I looked at Heero from the corner of my eyes, he was looking over at Relena, smirking. Oooh...Sexy smirk. 

No WAY! Mr. Maxwell, do not go THERE, it's OVER, he made that damn well clear! If he wanted you back he would've come sooner! He's here for duty! Duty...

"Duo?" She asked wonderingly. 

I resisted the urge to smack her on the forehead, maybe to stimulate a little thought. 

All of a sudden, she started laughing. Worried, I asked Heero, 

"Is she...Is there something..?"

He shook his head silently, dark hair falling over one of his eyes.

"Duo! You're joking! Oh how funny, Duo, you've always been good at fooling people! I swear, I almost thought you were serious there for an instant!" She burbled happily, just as Adam came along with our menus. 

"Gentlemen...Madame...Here they are. Call me when you're ready to order." He said, not even looking at giggling Relena.

"Ah, just go ahead and get me the usual, Adam my man, don't worry about Miss Peacecraft. She's jut missed her medication today." I told him with a straight face. Damn, but I *was* feeling better.

One brow quirked up, and before Relena could kick me, he said with seeming disinterest, "And how *was* your trip to the colony's asylum? I hear this one's padded walls are *very* soft." 

I fake growled at him, and he raised his hands in supplication, darting off to get my order with a laugh. 

Heero shot me a Questioning Look, one brow raised much like Adam's had been. Come to think of it, Adam *was* rather good-looking...

Ah, so *that* was his game. He didn't want me, but he didn't want me to be with anyone else, either. I smirked at his petty jealousy.

'You lost me a long time ago, Heero,' I mouthed at him, then turned my attention back to Relena, who was perusing the menu.

"Relena..." I began. 

"Maa, maa, it's ok Duo!" She said, smiling sweetly at me. "I can understand your need to joke like that, but can I meet him soon?"

I hated her little habit of speaking Japanese so casually, she must've been around Heero a lot to have picked that up...

This was getting a little out of hand. I gazed at Heero for some help with her, after all, she *was* his 'girlfriend'...

He shrugged unapologetically, and I wanted to break something in my frustration. I was getting a little pissed. Game over.

"Relena. Excuse me." I ground out, and she looked up from her menu. "It's. True." 

"Really?" She asked. "Well, I'll bet you don't know how *this* will end, then." She began reciting one of my unfinished journal entries from my latest book.

"July 02, fourteen sixty-nine. Then it was that I discovered the secret of the wall, and the pain that was behind it. Buried bodies lay stacked a mile high, and still I tried to my reach my love. " (2) She paused there, expectant. 

I thought a moment. I hadn't wanted to really continue that...but this seemed to fit. 

"Optimism was ever my nature then, but that was before the storm and raging violence. I thought I could get through maybe somehow, or to find comfort in a seaside port, but the hurricane passed me by, passed me through, and straightened my world upside down. When it was over, there was only blackness, and I was alone. I rather missed the dead." I finished softly with sad inflection. Relena gaped, then began scribbling that down on a napkin.

Heero looks incredulous. He hadn't really believed me, then. Damn. Why is it that no one ever does? 

"My...my apologies...Du- Ruari..." She faltered.

I flashed her my best grin. Why did everyone act like that when they finally found out?! "It's ok, Relena, really. And please, *don't* call me Ruari. That's my muse's name. He's conceited enough as it is."

Relena giggled happily then, and said, "Well I guess I won't be able to seduce you, then..." 

I sweatdropped, Heero death-glared her. Eek. Tense situation, here...

Adam chose that exact moment to bring out my requested dinner. Damn him. He was probably listening to me the whole time - he's got the entire place bugged, I think. 

My usual was an enormous hamburger, 'fancy' style, with a plate of delicious golden deep-fried, original Earth recipe, French fries. And a Coke. Can't forget that.

Relena and Heero goggled. 

"Duo..." Heero said funnily. "You're...Ruari...in one the fanciest restaurants ever...and you eat *that*?!" 

I smirked, chowing down. "Good," I explained through a mouthful of food. Adam just rolled his eyes and patted me on the back, earning him another deathglare. Baaad Heero...

"Is your order ready?" Adam requested politely, and Relena flushed, then ordered the 'genuine' lobster. As opposed to 'fake' lobster, right? Yuck, with all that synth food, I wouldn't be surprised, though...

Heero rolled his eyes then ordered noodles with rice and chicken.

As soon as Adam left, I was assailed with questions from Relena.

"Why'd you lie? How do you write so well? Why do you hurt so much? How come no one knows where you live? Can I have your autograph?" She asked breathlessly.

"Woah, chill Relena," I said. "I can show you around for a few weeks, maybe, we can hang out, before I have to start writing. We'll have plenty of time for that later..." I ended dramatically, chewing on my burger for slight emphasis.

Her response completely blew me out of the water. Completely.

"Oh, but I can't stay, and all. I have...things to do. You know. Lots of...things. That's why I'll be leaving Heero with you."

Three Years of Lonesome - Part 6

*Heero*

I hadn't really believed Duo about being Ruari until he'd begun reciting a new piece, something I hadn't read before. I guess no one ever really believes him, though...

It really *was* a surprise to me about what Relena had planned, though. Hah. She was trying to give me a chance with Duo, without her there, of course. 

I appreciated the effort. 

Her excuse was just about the saddest thing I'd ever heard, though. Yeah. A lot of diplomatic work, that suddenly came up. Uh-huh. Not to mention the fact she got really red in the face and all. And yeah. I'd need to be with Duo, to help defend him from those evil psycho stalker people out there...

He didn't believe her, but that didn't matter, really, because whatever Relena says, goes. You know, because she's got that whole 'Queen of the World' thing going on. 

As soon as we had finished eating, Relena had gotten up, and Duo had his limousine drive her over to the spaceport. 

Which left me and him walking back to his apartment. Alone. Together, but not really. He was very careful to put enough distance between us.

"What's got you so bummed, Heero? Miss your girlfriend *already*?" Duo's cheerful, lilting voice interrupted my various thoughts.

I scowled at him. "She's not my girlfriend. I'm just her bodyguard. She's my employer." 

He quirked a brow, then winked lasciviously at me. "So *that's* what you like to call it these days." 

Striking a thoughtful pose, he then said with a little whine in his voice, "But I thought you liked to play *whore* and perfect soldier, Hee-chan!" 

I stiffened in shock, then whirled around to face him. He was hanging a little behind, coat slung over one shoulder, tie loosened so much it looked like it was about to fall off. 

In other words, he looked dead sexy.

I walked back to where he was, footfalls soft. He was looking at me curiously, about to say something before I cut him off.

I placed my hands gently on his shoulders, willing him to turn his chin up and look me in the eye. He didn't disappoint me.

"Duo, you were never a whore." I said to him as earnestly as I could. "Never. No matter what anyone-"

"You." He said voice flat, still looking up at me. "Not anyone. You." 

I sighed, then whispered quietly, "Yes. Me. I was wrong, Duo. I want you to know that, and that I-"

He wasn't listening anyone. "I've got you figured out now, Yui! Totally figured out! I've got it now..." He muttered exultantly to himself.

"This is some damn guilt trip, isn't it?" He burst out accusingly.

He pressed on, not waiting for an answer from me. "I know it is. Yui, just fucking give it up, alright? I fucking forgive you, ok? I *forgive* you for making the last three years of my life a living hell. I forgive you for hurting me more than I thought humanly possible. It's over with, ok? You can leave now, your mission's *over*. I've forgiven you, it's all ok." 

"Duo, that's *not* what I came here for!" I yelled, losing my temper momentarily, hands tightening on his shoulders a bit. But then, what he did next made me forget all about what I was going to say.

He cringed. He fucking *cringed* from me. His ex-lover. The person I cared about most in the world was fucking *afraid* of me.

"Duo..." I whispered, loosening my grip, ashamed of myself. 

He was holding his head down, studiously looking at the ground. 

"Don't give yourself any airs, Yui. You're not *that* strong. But I know that if you hit me I'm gonna hit back and I'm not sure if I want to do that. Now. Ever. You still *mean* something to me, even if it's just an unpleasant reminder of the past." He told me, bringing his head up to gaze at me, amethyst eyes burning with a new light, something feral and wild.

He began walking again, turning his back on me.

"Duo, we need to talk. There's...things I need to tell you! I still care about you, Duo!" I burst out desperately.

He stopped so suddenly I thought he might fall over. And then he did something I least expected. He laughed. He laughed at me.

"Heero...Oh my god, Heero...That must be one of the funniest things I've ever heard. You still care?! Then why did you leave me? I cared for you then. Hell, I *loved* you! But you know what you did with that love, Heero?! You took my heart and fucking ripped it apart, I couldn't *live* without you!" He screamed hoarsely, voice bouncing and echoing off buildings at this late hour.

"I gave you my heart, Heero. You didn't want it." He said, more softly.

"That's not true, Duo, I-" I began haltingly, but he cut me off. Again.

"Oh? Really? But I thought that there was no us. I thought that I was a whore. I thought you were a...what was it? Oh. Yes. A 'trained gundam pilot'. So, tell me, Heero, what is it you want? Do you want us to get back together again? Do you want us to be all lovey-dovey and have everything to be so fucking perfect? Well it can't, Heero. You hurt me bad, and even if I forgive you for it that doesn't mean I want to see you around here, much less get back together with you."

He's angry...So bitter...I'd done it all, caused it all in a moment of insecurity. I'd been torn...Stay with the one I love, or go back to the mission, Relena? The mission won out, in the end. Somehow, it always does. But not anymore. No. Not anymore.

"Duo...Please, let's get back to your apartment, at least, please..." I beseech him pleadingly. This arguing tires me, and I want to talk to him when we're both able to be comfortable.

He gapes at me, I must not've ever used that word with him. Oh, koi, I'd done it all wrong, everything went wrong our first time, please let me make it up to you...

"Fine, Heero. Fine. Whatever you want, ok?" He finishes tiredly, running a hand through his uneven bangs, in his trademark gesture of frustration.

We resumed walking, and nothing more was said. The silence was oppressive, eventually it got to me. I sneaked constant glances at him, but he appeared perfectly happy with the arrangement.

"You see, that's your problem Heero." He began, and I looked over at him sidelong, curious.

"You have problems with the quiet now. You've changed, Heero. You're no longer the perfect soldier. Whereas, me.." He shrugged his shoulders delicately. 

"I have no problem with this empty silence because I live with it every day, in and out...It gets very quiet at night, you know, it's not like L2. Very respectable, very clean. Quiet. That's probably why you didn't find me sooner, eh?" He added as an afterthought. 

I shifted uncomfortably. That actually *was* the reason I hadn't found him...I thought he'd be back on L2, living with Hilde in some poor place or something...I never expected he'd be so rich...I mean, he had never been comfortable in wealthy situations before...

"That's ok, Heero, like I said, I forgive you." He continued, as if he could read my thoughts. And maybe he could.

We neared his apartment complex, and the both of us just breezed in, the guards recognized him and everything. 

We got on the elevator, and a tinny version of Fur Elise began playing. Duo slumped against the far wall, and I stood ready, waiting for the doors to open.

When they did, he straightened out, and walked slowly down to the end of the hall, fishing in his pants pockets for his keycard.

It took almost over a minute, he had a *lot* of junk in there. Typical. 

As soon as it was open, I heard a distinctly feminine squeal, and a flying projectile came out of Duo's apartment and landed on his chest, throwing him back a good three feet. 

"Duo! You're back! I missed you sooo much!" A girl, about 16 or 17 said, as she glomped onto him. I gritted my teeth. I would not shoot. I would not shoot. I would not shoot.

"Iris! What are you doing here?" Duo asked, obviously bewildered. She was sitting on top of his chest, and he didn't seem to mind...

"They told me to come. They said you had a friend, too. Where is he?" She asked, curiously, finally getting up off of him. 

"If you hadn't tackled me, you would've seen him!" Duo exclaimed with a genuine laugh. "This is Heero." He explained, straightening his expensive suit, and waving a hand in my general direction. 

"I know." She said solemnly. "They told me."

She walked over to me, and I stopped to take her in. 

Damn, I was in for some competition here. She was beautiful, nothing short of. Her skin practically glowed, it was so white. Her hair was also perfectly white, like milk, and it was full and thick, it fell down her back in a pale cascade of silk. Her eyes were a very light shade of purple, almost grey, and I had to pause to take a breath. Beautiful.

She stopped right in front of me, regarding me, and then she finally announced, "It's ok. You can come in too."

I clenched my fists, and then asked Duo, "Who?" 

He smiled, but didn't say anything. If they were involved...

I walked in, and Duo shut the door behind me. Iris was situated on one of the leather couches, stretched out. 

"Duo," She said, "I don't like this couch. You can sleep with me on the bed." 

I couldn't help it; I choked.

Three Years of Lonesome - Sidestory I

*Iris*

I can't...remember much. Not a lot. Things happened. Lots of things. I tried, for Duo's sake, really, I did, but things. I mean, they happened, right?

...

Let me try. 

Back...back...

There. There I am. At L2, where he was. So young, so bright. So pretty. So...human. 

My hair - no, I was the same as I am now. Why doesn't he remember me? I was playing...Playing...Yes, playing.

And then bad people came. They were bigger, and older. Stronger. Yes. Bad. They tried to touch me. And do bad things. Because I was pretty...

"Hey, little girl, wanna come over here?"

"Yeah, pretty girl, c'mere!"

"Pretty?"

"Yeah, lemme touch that sweet-"

"What the fuck?!"

He came then. He hurt them, but I wasn't scared. I'd been through the Massacre of Malhari... Death in Kaelkae... Where? What? I don't remember those things...When did they happen? What...

He rescued me. He hurt them. I loved him when I met him. But I knew him before, yes! They told me so! They? ...I don't...Who are they? They...

He held me. And he said he would always love me. Then I went to a safe place. A church. It blew up like a nova, so bright, and I watched. So bright...

It burnt me, my skin, my skin. He held me. And I tried to laugh but couldn't. I loved him. He was so nice...

He cried, then, I'm sure of it. I saw him, but he didn't see me. I called to him, but he didn't hear me. They told me it was because I was dead, again, but I didn't believe them for once, see, and here I am now!

Here I am! I'm with him and he loves me! Now!

Then...there were other times. He wasn't there then. Lots of bad things happened. I didn't like it. People touched me where they shouldn't have. They hit me, too. What had I done?

I saw him. A lot. My name was Merri Nichelle. And I saw him at a learning place. It burnt up, too, and he was sad then as well. I told him not to worry, and he was surprised I was there, but he didn't know me.

I was sad. I left, and he called for me to come back, but I didn't because They said not to and usually I do what They say. 

But They also told me to come Home but I didn't want to. Home didn't have Duo. Home was boring. They were not smart to tell me to come back. 

They also said they needed to fix my head, but nothing was wrong with my head! Silly, silly, silly...

I saw him but he never ever remembered...

Now he does!

I came to the place one day, he was there, and I made him things I knew he liked!

He ate them, and I was happy. Then he took me a lot of places. Lots and lots of places. 

He was running away. From a man named Heero. They told me that Heero was a nice man, too.

I like Heero. Heero and Duo forever and ever...I like them. They will keep me with them and I will love them both in one place.

That would be good.

But Duo is so mad at Heero, it hurts me. I know Heero did bad things but Duo shouldn't be so mean. Never, never, never...

Well, see, I remembered all that good stuff! Can I have some nice things, now?

Three Years of Lonesome - Part 7

*Duo*

I could've grinned when I noticed Heero's bitchy reaction to Iris...Priceless, absolutely fucktabulously priceless...I bet he would've shot her if...But let's not go there. Scares me sometimes, what he's capable of... Like leaving someone alone, hurting them past all limits... Nope, don't wanna go there, either. Safe topic, safe topic... Ah. Iris.

She's one helluva girl, I'll give her that. She's a little...Well, lemme give a little background on how I met her, first. We've been living together for two years, you know. But it's not what you think it is, really.

You see, after Heero left me, I couldn't function very well. He was my life, my universe, my everything, all wrapped up nice and neat in a little box with a fucking little cutesy red bow on it.

Eventually, I ended up getting a job; only because somehow or other, Wufei heard. And he came. I never thought that-. 

Anyway. He got me a job, so I worked, I started eating again, because he nagged me so fucking much I fucking wanted to blow his goddamn head off, 'cept I couldn't do that 'cause he was my friend. I think. So I did what he told me to do. So he'd fucking shut up. 

Worse than my goddamn mother - but then again, I didn't have one, so...

I got a job and everything, I had money to pay for the apartment, food, stuff, you know. One day, lo and behold, when I came home, there was this 15 year old white-haired chick, sitting right at my kitchen table.

I was pretty surprised. She, on the other hand, was calmly making a peanut butter and banana sandwich.

"Hey that's my favorite!" I'd exclaimed, flustered. 

"I know." She'd said steadily, then finished putting the last slice of banana on the bread, and handed it to me.

"Taste it," She'd said, "It's good." 

I tried it. It had been good, yeah, I remember that much. I'd taken a few more bites, then asked "Where did you-?"

She had finished my sentence, saying, "I came from Them. They changed me. You know, I used to be a planet, a beautiful planet. I wasn't able to sustain life, but it would've been soon..." 

I had goggled at her. 

"They *downgraded* me to a human being. Because...because. It really isn't something you should know. But I've read their files on you. I like you, Duo Maxwell. I think I'll stay with you."

I never did figure out how she knew so much. But she was...is a little unstable. Everyone loves her for it, though. She's so cute, so childlike sometimes...It kinda makes you wonder about her past...

Anyway. I took care of her, from then on. When I moved to this rich place, she came with me. And we met Adam, and Pink, but *that's* another story. A goddamn funny one, to be sure.

So here we are, still living together, after, what...Two years? Yeah, because she's 17 right now...and I'm...hmmm...21, I think. Haven't checked lately, does it really matter?

I waved my hand at Heero, explaining cheekily, "She's a little loco, you know? She *means* to sleep *with* me literally, not to have sex, or anything. 'Cause she's a kid. And I don't go for kids." 

He glanced at her, curled up on the leather sofa, then said intensely, "That's how old we were when we...were together, Duo."

I laughed. It was a harsh sound, it startled Iris out of her reverie. "Heero, like you said, it meant nothing. Right, Iris-hon?" I asked, to gain easy support.

She disappointed me.

"No." She said quite firmly. "You two love each other again! Now!" She jumped off the sofa and faced me, chin jutting out, arms crossed, the very picture of little girl cuteness.

Except she was 17...Sometimes I felt sorry for her. She glared at me, then stamped her foot impatiently.

Heero's eyebrows practically shot off into the atmosphere. I stifled another laugh.

"How did she-?" He asked questioningly.

"She knows a lot of things. A little bit like Quarte." I explained.

He nodded accordingly.

Another laugh stifled. Damn. I ought to start keeping score, ya know?

She pouted some more and my heart just went out to her. "Awww, Iris, don't worry, everything will be just fine!" 

"Really?" She asked, lower lip quivering, eyes huge and watery. Ugh. Last thing I wanted was for her to cry...

"Everything will be ok, Ris-chan, alright? Heero and I will have a little talk, so we can work things out. Then it will all be fine." I reassured her.

Hah. Work things out as in 'You get the hell out of here and leave me alone right NOW.'

She scrunched her nose up. "But tonight is Hellosophy night! You promised, Duo!"

Oh, damn. I'd forgotten. "Heero..." I ventured.

"I understand." He said, resignedly, "I'll go." He turned around and walked towards the door.

"Actually, I was going to ask you if you wanted to stay, but..." 

He came back over here so fast I thought he never even moved. Guess the Perfect Soldier wanted to stay after all. 

I don't know why I invited him back, but something about it felt wrong... I couldn't just leave him all alone, to wander the streets...Or to stay and wait outside...Kinda like kicking a puppy, you know? But that was it. Really. Just pity.

"Duo," He said, looking at me with those swoony eyes, "What *is* 'Hellosophy' night?" 

I smirked. "I invite our group over, it's my turn this month, and we talk, have a few beers, hang out, chill, you know. You can join us if you want, you know. I keep a lot of beer." Another smirk.

He actually appeared to think it over...Woah, don't let your brain go on overload, Duo Maxwell!

"Sure, why not, what's a few beers?" I almost choked again, I swear. Dammit, I hate how he can scare me so profoundly by just saying a few words...

Iris piped in, "They should be here any minute, I called Adam and Pink."

Sometimes, she surprises me by doing stuff like that...I never really know what she can do and can't...Sometimes she acts totally normal and mature...Others...Well...

Heero swiveled to face her. "Adam is this group?" His voice was dangerously tight, kinda like those old spandex shorts he used to wear...I stopped myself before I drooled, or had an...um...involuntary hormonal reaction. In layman's...oooh...Lay man...How I'd like to lay a-oops. 

Um, anyway, er, *amateur's* terms: one major hard on.

"Yeah, whatsa problem with that?" I answered crossly, not liking the fact that Heero appeared to have homicidal tendencies around all my friends.

Jealous...jealous...jealous...Ooooh, bad Heero!

"Nothing," He answered, smiling to himself, "Nothing at all." 

I shrugged, and dropped the issue. Who knows what goes on in Heero's mind except Satan and...and...well...Heero.

Almost on cue, the doorbell rang. I knew that Adam and Pink would both be there, because she was living with Adam now. Oh, how sweet, romance blooms...Feh.

Iris raced ahead of me to get it, and I smiled indulgently and let her have her fun. 

We only live once, you know...

Except for Wuffie, who believes if he doesn't become strong, or something, he'll be re-incarnated as dog poo for the next 200 years. Or something like that, I hadn't really been listening to him rant...That's what it sounded like, anyway.

Iris applied the tackle treatment to both Adam and Pink at once, managing that I how don't know. Must be one of those chick things.

"Hey Duo... Sup?" Pink asked me, after extricating Iris off of her. 

"Nothing much, Pink, how's it goin' for you? You and Adam ok?" I asked, concerned, hoping their relationship would turn out better than my previous one had. Oh, Heero...

Adam laughed, smoothed his rumpled shirt, and answered for her. "Everything's perfect, Duo-man."

I grinned, gave him a high five, then pointed over in Heero's general direction. "That's Heero. He's staying with me. Adam, you already met him."

Heero had his hands shoved deep into his pockets and he wasn't looking at anyone...The ground must be really fascinating, today...

Anyway. I introduced Heero and Pink, they hit it off ok, started talking about hair and guns and god-knows-what right away.

Hellosophy night had begun.

Three Years of Lonesome - Part 8

*Heero*

I was a little weirded out when I first saw Pink - her hair was apparently where she'd  gotten her name. 

After Duo introduced us though, we started talking right away. I never thought I'd have so much in common with a girl whose style blatantly screamed 'Punk' - or was it 'Goth'? -Duo would know. 

I furtively glanced over in his direction, to see how he was doing. Of course. To see if he was ok. Not to stare at his...

"Okay everyone, instead of beer at first, we're gonna have Gatorade!" He announced brightly, right then.

Pink swiveled around so fast I could barely see her move. 

"WHAT did you say?" She asked dangerously, and I readied my gun, just in case. You never knew...

"Ummm...Well...IRIS!" he yelled nervously by way of excuse. Pink instantly relaxed. 

"Oh...for Iris...But we'll have beer after that, right, Duo." She stated, rather than asked.

I could tell she obviously adored Iris; it seemed like everyone did. I frowned a bit.

"Um...Hey, Heero, lose the suit, ok?" He asked me, and I glanced down at myself. I'd forgotten I was wearing it. 

I would have if...but. My cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "Ah, Relena didn't...I mean..."

He scowled. "Relena didn't even tell you that-? Damn. Well...Some of my stuff is probably your size...C'mon." 

Adam winked at me, and Pink whistled. 

"Going to bed ALREADY? Dammit, remember, tonight is HELLOSOPHY NIGHT, not screw your friend silly night!" She yelled after his retreating back.

Duo turned around and glared at her. His cheeks were a bit red, I noted with surprise. Did that mean he still-?

"Pink-" He started angrily, but then thought the better of it. "You never do anything I say...What was I thinking?" He ended resignedly.

"Hell yeah, partner." She laughed giddily. Minutes before she'd been dead serious - Duo seemed to have the ability to make anyone relaxed...happy.

"Come on Heero. We'll leave these two lovebirds alone." He told me with an easy grin, and I almost melted into a pile of gooey mush.

We walked back toward his room together, Pink and Adam calling out suggestive phrases at our backs.

He opened the door noiselessly, proving that, beyond a doubt, he still retained his former skills. But I hadn't lost them, either...

I inwardly gasped at his bed...Oooh...Black-satin-oh-my-God....I will not hyperventilate, I will not hyperventilate...But damn. What a bed for-

"Heero? You alright?" He asked concernedly, waving a hand in front of my face.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I managed to say, barely forcing the words out.

"Ok...You just kinda spaced out there for a while." He said with a familiar grin. He better quit doing that...Unless he wanted a mess on the carpet. In that case...

"Here it is!" He announced, pointing grandly over to an antique clothes dresser. It was huge. 

"Is that for all...your clothes?" I stammered, amazed at the size of the goliath piece of furniture.

"Nope." He said matter-of-factly. "That's only for the casual stuff." Then he gestured to an immense wardrobe, equal in size to the other. 

"*That's* for my suits and dress clothes."

My eyes bulged. Damn, he must really love to shop. But then, with a start, I remembered that he always had - I'd just never noticed. Always too damn busy with that goddamn laptop...I sighed.

Duo looked over at me, but said nothing, maybe he was afraid to ask. He then bent over and opened a bottom drawer. 

I licked my lips...I would give all the laptops in the world to see *that* again.

"Ok...Let's see...These are pretty baggy on me, they'll probably fit you. I mean, they might be a bit short, but..." He shrugged, a quirk of his lips. "I'm sure you'll live. Here's a shirt..." He said, mumbling, bending over once again to retrieve the aforementioned item. 

I felt faint. Yummy...

He held up the shirt to me, thinking aloud. "Huh. I think that'll fit. But I bet you'll great in it." He blushed furiously, then said quickly, "I mean, a helluva lot better than I do in it. You know."

Internally, my heart sung. He still thought I looked sexy...Maybe he might be willing to forgive me if I...I ended the thought quickly. 

It was a loose shirt, light blue in color, no decoration whatsoever. Whatever - he would look amazing even in a freaking potato sack.

He tugged his tie off in a loose motion, and laid it on the dresser. 

My heart sped up. Oooh...More, please...

"You can take the bathroom - past the kitchen, the hallway on the other side of the living room, end of hall." He said with practiced ease. 

I nodded a thank you, then walked out of the room. 

When I walked back into the living room, Pink and Adam were lying on the couch, kissing passionately. 

My face burning, I moved past them without a word. Adam looked up at me, and broke free of the liplock. 

"Hey Heero! That didn't take too long!" He said, grinning from ear to ear. 

I stammered. 

He winked, then went back to his previous occupation. 

"Aren't you concerned about Iris?" I asked curiously. 

Two indifferent middle fingers were my only answer.

I shrugged, then went to the bathroom, quickly and efficiently changing. It only a minute; I wanted to see Duo's casual outfit, and I hoped to God it was something sleeveless...or shorts, shorts were good.

I entered the living room again, Duo was sitting on the couch, talking to Adam and Pink.

Oooh...Nice. He was wearing loose pants with a short sleeved shirt, hair down in a ponytail instead of braid...Oh God, he was beautiful.

When he saw I was there, he jumped up and strode over to me, holding his arm out expectantly.

I looked at him in confusion. 

"The suit, Heero, the suit." He explained impatiently. 

"Oh." Was my eloquent answer. 

I gave it to him, and our hands brushed. I shivered involuntarily, and he looked at me quizzically. 

"It's cold in here." I said by way of plausible explanation. 

He smiled, then turned around and asked Adam to get up and fix the temperature. 

Adam was just getting up when Iris raced past him and disappeared into the darkness of the hallway.

"Got it!" She exclaimed, voice floating out from the darkness.

Duo smiled again. Beautiful.

"She's so sweet..." He said happily, then raced over to his bedroom. When he came back, he didn't have the suit. 

He was also flushed and breathing heavily. Damn, don't GO there, Yui.

"Ready for the Gatorade?" He asked, eyes shining with unusual brightness...Uh-oh.

Apparently Pink and Adam noticed too. 

"Eh...Duo?" They asked nervously.

He laughed loudly. "Gatorade is GOOD!!!! Right Iris?!" 

She grinned up at him. "Yeah, Duo!"

He patted her fondly on the head, and I briefly envied her. But only briefly.

*Duo*

As soon as I made my proclamation, I grinned insanely, no doubt scaring the crap outta Adam, Pink, and Heero. However, my little 'Ris-chan wasn't as easily daunted. She grinned easily back at me, confident in my sanity and love. Not necessarily in that order, though.

God...Her sunny smile was so beautiful and innocent, childlike...I would fucking kill the bastard that ever hurt her.

I grinned even wider, knowing I would be able to protect her, and that there would never *be* anyone who could hurt her, not like Heero, not like when he...No, never. No one would ever be able to mar her perfect innocence. Not while I was still around anyway.

Adam cleared his throat nervously, breaking my beautiful reverie. "Duo...Ah..."

"Oh, don't worry, Adam! I'll even make it myself, you won't have to do *anything*!" I said, stressing the anything, and pretending not to notice the way his eyes suddenly bulged. Or the way his mouth dropped open. Or the fact that he became paler than a ghost on Halloween - nope, not at all. 

"Duo! Don't you think you should give Iris a chance to make the Gatorade?!" Pink desperately suggested, face white, hands shaking a bit. Aw, darn. Looks like memory of my last little...fiasco with Gatorade had finally kicked in. 

I pretended to think about it, noticing in my peripheral vision the ever-cute couple sweating. Heero was impassive, as usual, though he *had* been a lot nicer lately...

"Nope! I *always* make the Gatorade! Iris just likes to put the water in!" I shouted cheerfully. "It'll only take a few minutes anyway. Why don't you all wait out here, in the living room, and talk a little? Me and Iris 'll be in the kitchen making it." I added, with a cute smile that would have made even the most cold-hearted of Oz bastards melt.

They folded like a stack of cards. Weak, no challenge these days, not like when Heero was around...I was just too damn cute for my own good. Yup, too fucking true...

They three of them sat down quietly and without further protest on my beautiful leather sofa. I shook my head slowly. No challenge at all.

I looked over at Iris. "C'mon girl, let's get to making that Gatorade!" I said enthusiastically to her, making her entire face light up. 

"Really?" She asked happily. 

"Yeah, really, 'Ris-chan!" I said, then raced over to the kitchen in my socked feet, loose hair flowing down my back. I really love my hair...But sometimes it's just a bitch.

I was pretty sure I could feel Heero's stare on my back. Goddamn, what was up with him anyway?

When we got there, I skidded to a stop, and Iris almost plowed into me. 

I patted her on the head again, then quickly pulled out my handy 10 gallon mix of Strawberry Kiwi Instant Gatorade Mix...Yummy.

"Ok!" I announced to Iris, as she stared intently at the container, head cocked to one side. 

"Let's see..." I said, reading aloud. "Four scoops makes one gallon. Huh." I scratched my head, then absentmindedly asked Iris to pull out my gallon pitcher. 

She grabbed it from one of my miscellaneous cupboards, and I silently applauded her. This was obviously one of her better days.

"Alright, Iris, do you want to put the scoops in?" I asked her nicely.

She shook her head however, as always, and stubbornly maintained, "I do the water, Duo! You should know that!"

I sighed and muttered good naturedly, "Can't blame a guy for trying, huh?" 

She giggled and watched me dump in four heaping cupfuls. 

"Ok, Iris, I'll let ya have a crack at her. Just fill the water up to near the top." I said with a slight smile. Iris didn't need any encouragement. 

Right away, she picked up the gallon pitcher - *was* it a gallon? It looked a bit small...She then placed it carefully in the sink and turned the water on. 

I turned away, facing the kitchen entrance, and strained to hear what Heero and the others were discussing. The running water was too loud a static, though. Just as I was turning back to Iris, I thought I saw her dump a little something extra in there...I had to be mistaken. Iris would never do anything like that.

"Perfect!" I exclaimed, grinning at her. 

She blushed at my compliment, then wandered back out to the living room, job done. I didn't mind. It gave me a little bit to think about Heero - how I would handle his obvious intention of getting together again. At least that was what I think he wanted.

I pulled a plastic spoon out of one of my drawers, and lazily stirred the mix. Apparently, he now had an interest in me - I hadn't missed how he'd stared at me as he'd come out of the bathroom. 

He hadn't looked so bad himself, either...I blushed. Dammit, why did I always have to do that? Hell, I was a fucking street rat, nothing should phase me...I growled imperceptibly, stirring the poor Gatorade to death. Damn. Did this mean I was getting more gentle? More refined? Fuck. 

Maybe it was just a stage I was going through, just some fucking...something. Yeah. That was it. Just...something.

But...what would I do about Heero? Did I really want him back? I mean...I loved him three years ago, but...things change, right? Did I hate him? I shook my head quickly. Nope.

Of all the things I felt for Heero Yui, hate was not one of them. But - then. The $60,000 question is...Could I ever take him back? 

Fuck. I didn't know. I stopped stirring the Gatorade, it looked just about done. 

I grabbed five glasses from under the sink, then poured the Gatorade, all the while thinking about what I would do with Heero.

"Iris!" I called into the living room, after I was done. She came running, and I handed her two full glasses. 

"Please take these out there for Adam and Heero, ok?" I asked her gently. She loved doing errands. I watched carefully, to make sure she went at a more sedated pace than she'd come in with...She didn't disappoint me.

I managed to grab the other three, and headed out there myself.

Heero looked up at my entrance, and I briefly cursed myself for giving him a blue shirt. Damn, how could I forget? He looked so fucking good in blue.

His eyes...Damn, I was drowning in his eyes. God, he looked so good...So touchable. Like a teddy bear or something, someone fuzzy and warm and nice and...Fuck. Why do I keep thinking-? He *hurt* me.

"Here's the Gatorades!" I yelled, and everyone winced. Even Iris. Hey, so I have a somewhat high voice? Fuck that.

I handed everyone their glasses, then took a long sip. I immediently spit it out, coughing and choking. Shit.

Pink looked ill, Adam was pale, even Heero looked a bit shaken. Iris was her usual self. Damn. Go Iris.

"Damn." Adam vocalized for all of us.

"What the fuck did you put in there, boy? Pure fucking sugar mixed with fucking alchohol? " Pink asked accusingly, wiping her face on Adam's shirt. Ah, how damn romantic...

"Damned if I know!" I yelled, making a face at the incredibly sweet/sourish taste. "This shit is worse than fucking sticky fucking cotton candy with fucking sour gummy worms on a fucking humid day!" I shouted, waving my arms up and down to illustrate my point. 

Fortunately, I'd previously placed my glass on the coffee table before I'd started my little routine. 

"Hey!" I suddenly thought aloud, startling everyone yet again. "I *like* that kinda shit!" 

"NO!" Pink lunged for my glass, but it was too late. I'd already taken a huge swallow. I made noisy gulping sounds as I drank the entire glass down and Adam started to turn green. 

"I'm scared now..." He whispered to Pink, glancing furtively over in my direction.

Yup, I was totally fucking crazy. This shit wasn't so bad after all, I thought, then put the glass down, wiping my mouth on my hand, and smacking my lips together.

Yup. It really wasn't so bad...Once you got...used to it...

Shit.

*Heero*

I watched in morbid fascination as Duo downed almost the entire glass of pink Gatorade in one noisy swallow. 

I was almost salivating, watching him like this. One more...Gulp. There. He was done. He wiped his mouth off with the back of his hand, then smacked his lips...Dammit, he was so sexy, and he didn't know it...

He looked kind of dazed, and I couldn't blame him. I'd felt a bit queasy, and all I'd done was take a single sip. 

"Whut the hell? Whut's goin on...? Who turned all the lights off!" He yelled in puzzlement, then attempted to get up. I say attempted because as soon as he rose, he pitched forward, and would've hit the sharp glass coffee table - if not for my sudden leap off the ever-beloved leather couch. I barely managed to catch him.

Kneeling on the floor, I easily stood back up and made my way back to his couch - he weighed so little now...

Adam and Pink were staring, Iris was laughing...Iris was laughing?!

Wha-? I sniffed the air experimentally, just to confirm my suspicions. Alcohol, I was right. I glanced over in Iris' direction, and she...winked at me?!

Oh Dear Lord...What had Iris done?! How much alcohol had she put in there, and why hadn't I tasted it initially? I sighed, then glanced over at Pink and Adam...

"Adam, Pink...Iris. Would you all mind leaving a bit early...? I think the Gatorade's hit Duo a bit hard..." I said, with a straight face, ignoring Adam and Pink's sudden fit of giggles.

"Yeah...::giggle::...Sure! Get him safely off to...::giggle::..BED, now, ya hear?" Adam called over his shoulder as he slowly made his way over to the door, Iris and Pink in tow.

I heard them slam the door, but I was too focused on Duo for it to really register.

"Duo..." I whispered. "Duo..."

He looked up at me from his comfortable position in my arms. "Whatcha want...Heeeeroooo?" He asked, slurring my name in a sad imitation of how Relena used to act.

"Duo...I want you to know that I still love you...I want you back, Duo. I made a mistake and I want to make up for it, please..." I implored him, staring deep into his mesmerizing pools of clear amethyst. It might not be the best of times, but, he needed to know how I felt...He needed to know.

"I knooow...I wuv you too, dearie Heee-chaaan..." He said, burying his face in my shoulder, still laying in my lap.

He wrapped both his arms around me, and I froze, barely managing to breathe. God, it felt so right, so beautiful, so perfect...Was this heaven? ...If not, God had better start on some home improvement...

I brought my attention back to the precious bundle in my arms, curled up there just like it was where he belonged...

Which was a complete axiom. 

He shifted, moving his arms around to encircle my neck, and whispering into my ear, "My hero...My Heero." 

I shivered deliciously.

God, he was so beautiful, so ethereal, so...I sighed, transfixed at the sleepy contentment showing openly there in his eyes.

"Heeeero...Kin we goto beeed nooow...." He murmured against my shoulder, and I obliged him immediently by holding him in my arms and making my way easily over to his room, with the magnificent bed, not that I'd be using it tonight...I could always take his much beloved leather couch...

I laid him down gently upon the smooth surface, and prepared to turn around and go, when he rose up quickly and pulled me down next to him onto the bed in a tangled sprawl of limbs.

Surprised, I faced him. "Don't go..." He whispered. "Please don't ever go..." His voice had suddenly become steady, surprising me. I'd thought he was drunk...? 

His eyes shone luminous in the dark, and I wanted to kiss him...But now was not the time. He needed my comfort and support, not the lust I felt whenever I saw him...

Instead, I twisted around to face him, and gently traced the contours of his face. I put a hesitant arm over his now-thin chest. I could feel every rib...Oh, Duo...I had to make it all up to him, somehow. Somehow. 

When I noted no audible protest, I laid the other there, so that they were interlocking. He was so very beautiful...I couldn't believe he was letting me do this...

I could feel his heartbeat there, steady and wonderful, and then slowly, ever so slowly, his shallow breathing, indicating sleep, and everything was so secure and beautiful, like we'd always be together, forever and ever...

This time I wouldn't screw up...

With that thought in mind, I tightened my grip, carefully, and held him, drifting off to a sweet sleep, no dreams needed because I held one.

Three Years of Lonesome - Sidestory II

*Iris*

Well. Things are getting better. So much better, I know now. 

I'm trying to think...It hurts my head, usually. When I think. But not much else. Or maybe when They're trying to tell me things. They always pry. They told me to put those things in his drink.

His drink. I didn't want to. He's beautiful. He shines. But...They made me. I couldn't stop. My hand, my hand was shaking. But I put those things in his drink. They MADE me! I couldn't stop. 

The show is almost over. My play, my part is almost over. 

And...

And...

As Iris, I'll cease to exist. 

It hurts to think that. I don't want to leave, I mean...They've never caught ME before. Before. Before I fell. I was a planet, before I fell. I fell, it was dark, it was deep...

They told me it was impossible, what I had become. How I had fallen. They were shocked.

I wasn't.

He'd always said I was special...He said it in my future, but before he said it, I could feel it. It revibrated in time, and the echoes came back. 

They are trying to make me come Home. But I could never go. Never. I mean...

I can't......

I'm different, too different. 

My part is almost done. Heero. Duo. They are special, too, the two of them. They, They from Home told me to fix them and make them happy. Because Duo and Heero are special.

They're almost fixed. Almost. I'll miss them so badly. So badly...

I don't know what I'm going to do. 

I really don't. I'm lost, floating adrift. 

I love him. It's not enough, though, it never will be. I'll make sure they're happy.

Then I'll go...

Then I'll go away forever...

I'll come Home.

Three Years of Lonesome - Part 9

*Duo*

I wake up slowly, snuggling against the unaccustomed warmth. Ever since you went away, I've always been so cold at night...So cold. 

I turned my face towards the source of warmth, like a radiant flower, reaching for the sun...

And then I realized it was you. 

I backed away, quickly, so quickly, you might have thought I was sleeping with a rattlesnake. 

The motion startled you, woke you up, and you sat up, facing me, blue eyes half-open, hair tousled...Oh my god, oh my god...I can't take it...

My throat choked up, and all I managed to say was, "H-heero?" 

You stared, seemingly transfixed.

"Heero..." I asked you again, not understanding.

You ran a hand through your hair, mussing it up even further. Beautiful.

"Duo...This isn't what it looks like," You began, haltingly.

I laughed, and it was a choked up sound. "Heero...Even if this *is* what it looks like...Won't you stay this time...?" The last was said in a whisper, but you heard me anyway.

"Duo..." You said again, reaching a hand out to smooth my hair. Your hand was so soft, yet so strong...

"Heero?" I ask plaintively, as you slowly trace the contours of my face.

I scoot closer back to you, and you put your arm around my shoulders, holding me, my source of warmth, my life. There are no explanations, and none are needed. 

We've spent three years apart, three years alone, three years in suffering...Now is not the time. 

I tilt my face toward yours, and you gently thumb my lips...I love you so much.

"Heero...I..." I want to tell you, I want to so bad...I want to tell you, I forgive you...you're my everything Heero, how could I have ever been so blind? I need you so badly...

"Shh..." You move your finger along my lips, again, shushing me. 

I nod, slowly, my hair unraveling in it's braid. That captures your attention, and you leisurely stroke it, seemingly reveling in its soft, silky texture. 

I lean back against you, your gentle warmth surrounding me...I sigh with pleasure.

No passion is needed for us to show each other our love and perfect contentment. None...But, later, later, maybe...

All is forgiven. I love you too much to let you go, ever, Heero...

Your arm stiffens, and I glance back at you...Did I say that out loud?! Oh, no, please, Heero, don't...

You loosen up again, and laugh...It's a joyous sound. "Ai shiteru, Duo...Ai shiteru..." You whisper in my ear, tickling it with your tongue. 

I laugh myself, and for the first time in forever, forever...it's not fake.

Three Years of Lonesome - Epilogue

Relena, Queen of the World, Miss Peacecraft, the bright-eyed young teen, was sitting at her expensive desk, chewing on an unfortunate pencil.

She was thinking of what to write Heero and Duo, or, rather, Heero and Ruari. She wanted to congratulate them on their wonderful getting back together. She couldn't think of anything happier, or of any better news she'd like to hear. However, there was one problem, the cause of all the pencil-chewing.

She had absolutely NO IDEA what to write! Should she say...'Congratulations on getting your acts together, glad you finally decided to admit you two were made for each other...' or something like...'I knew you could do it! And for that matter you can do it allll night long!' She sighed.

It was such a hard decision.

Trowa walked quickly back into the den he shared with the love of his life, Quarte Winner, excited to finally be able to tell him some good news.

Heero and Duo were finally back together.

Quarte would be so happy. 

Trowa almost smiled, thinking of the joy he could bring his precious angel.

Wufei stood alone, bathed in the light of the dying sun, high up on the 43rd story of an apartment building on Earth. It didn't matter which one.

He was running, from what he didn't know. But he was running all the same.

Maybe it was from the memory...The memory of love, what it was like to be loved, to be the complete center of someone's world, to love someone to distraction...And then to kill them...

"Treize..." He whispered quietly, "Oh God, Treize, what have I done to us?"

He'd tried to heal Duo, it looked like he had succeeded. For a moment, he was bitter, he felt betrayed, Duo's Heero had come back after all, but then dismissed the honorless thought. 

Duo was happy. Heero was happy.

So why wasn't that enough?

(Iris)

I knew they were made for each other. Fate decreed it, everything fits so perfectly into place, everything except me. 

He'll have no place for me now.

And I have to go, soon, Home awaits, They call me now, ever more urgently.

I have been away too long.

The slim, seventeen year old girl smiled as she thought of the small note she had left Duo, and then calmly jumped.

Bystanders said that it was surreal... When the girl fell, many swore they could almost see enormous wings, almost like those of an angel, unfold out around her, in a rush of blinding white, before she hit the ground.

It was funny, they never found a body.

Heero watched as Duo slowly unfolded the small piece of paper.

His face paled, then slowly calmed.

"She's gone home." He said, quietly.

"Home." Heero echoed, sad to see her go.

A small, white, gleaming feather fell from the folds of the paper, and was blown out the window, into the sunset.

Dear Duo (and Heero)

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. 

I love you and I'm going Home forever please don't miss me and always remember.

I love you.

Iris

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