Somewhere in the boonies of America, a sinister plot is unfolding. Sitting indian style around a huge bonfire, a group of young, brain-washed, desperate terrorists-in-training prepare for their first mission in the JIHAD, the genocidal war against the Jews and their American allies.
But somewhere down the Islamic Fundamentalist road, this group of suicide bombers became just a little side-tracked. Just like George Bush Sr. was too Saddam Hussein, so El Qasr Sahli Casbah is to these young Muslim assassins. Simply enough, their agenda is about to get fucked like a sand monkey stepping on a land mine.
Taliban Judgement #4:
Organized Confusion
Retitled from: DIE AMERICAN CORKSUCKERS DIE!!!
El Qasr Sahli Casbah: Babboo!!! Babboo!!! What are we to do Babboo!? There are spies everywhere! The American government is so afraid of the Muslims peoples that they are having their own peoples spy on their own peoples! It is completely outrageous! And now the spiesare infiltrating our very own Camp Al Qaeda for Misguided Youth!
Babboo: If there is something we can do great El Qasr Sahli Casbah, W3 World Heavyweight Champion, I bet it is you who can think of it!
El Qasr: You are right Babboo, what was I thinking coming to your peasant ass for advice anyways? HALLAH! I must think ofsometing.I cannot let these American corksuckers destroy the Islamic Fundamentalist movement here in America. I cannot let them discover all our secrets and plans, at least not until we kill a few more Americans for Allah!
Babboo: Especially that American actor, Steve Bologne,oh great Shah of Sharmoota!
El Qasr: Oh, youknow I have a shishkebob skewer especially sharpened and ready to shove right in between that corksucking bastiches rib cage Babboo! Not just him, but every farking spy who hascome through our most sacred of terrorist training camps!
Babboo: But how great Casbah?
El Qasr: Hmmm...
Babboo: Hmm...
El Qasr: We need to find the book! Find the book Babboo!
Babboo: The Koran great Sahli casbah?
El Qasr: No!
Babboo: The Dead Sea Scrolls oh awesome Shah of Shamalamadingdong???
El Qasr: No!
Babboo: I am stumped. What book do you mean great Casbah?
El Qasr: THAT book!
Babboo:
Oh! THAT boo--- erm. Are you sure great one?
El Qasr: You question El Qasr Sahli Casbah? The W3 World Champion!?
Babboo: Never absolutely faboulos one!
El Qasr: Good, then give methe book!
El Qasr starts to look at the book, then throws it away in frustration.
El Qasr: No! No! The Taliban's rules for torturing and killing are TOO lenient in troubled times like these Babboo! I must come up with an even more sinister, depraved, and dispicable way of destroying my enemies and these blasphemous spies that oppose the Mulsim terrorist movement here in America!
Babboo: You could do to those spies what you plan to do to Brian "The Bastiche" Batson and Jackrabbit at Corporate Judgement.
El Qasr: I know!
Babboo: Enlighten me with your vision great one!
El Qasr: I could do to those spies what I plan to do to Brian "The Bastiche" Batson and Jackrabbit at Corporate Judgement!!!
Babboo: Um, didn't I just say tha--
El Qasr: First, I will shackle their arms to their legs, but not the easy way, but the hard way!
Babboo:What do you mean great W3 World Champion?
El Qasr: Like tat most recent movie we saw in Afganistan, Babboo. The newrelease for this summer, "Breakdancing Two: Electric Boogaloo"!
Babboo: You mean the "spider" oh great one!
El Qasr: YES! The "spider" where the crazy black men walk with their legs over the shoulders with their hands on the floor.... such crazy people these black Americans. Lucky they live in America and not in the Sudan where they would all be beaten and put into slavery...
Babboo: You have digressed oh great one, gone off on a tangent.
El Qasr: Yes, yes, I do that alot,but can you blame me with opponents such as this corksucking country and Jackrabbit and Brian Batson???
So anyways, we tie them up in a pretzel, with their bottoms sticking up in the air, and then we shove jerboas straight up their rectums!
Babboo kinda looks around, a little uncomfortable.
Babboo: You seem to be very preoccupied with rectums and anuses these days great Casbah, why is that?
El Qasr waves Babboo off.
El Qasr: I want to hurt these men Babboo, I want to take away their dignity and their pride and anything else they might have in their ugly American farking bodies!
What right do Jackrabbit and Brian Batson have to try to take away MY W3 World Heavyweight Title belt??? By what decree do they believe they can be a greater champion then El Qasr Sahli Casbah??? I have only held this title but a week and I amalready considered the greates westling champion in the world by over 11 different countries, all of them Muslim, the greatest religion in theworld and theonly one that matters!
But even better Babboo, even better, it is the corksuckingAmericans that have truely realized that El Qasr Sahli Casbah IS a worthy champion. They can call me a sand monkey and a towel head. But they cannot take away the fact that I AM the white sauce in the gyro that is the W3! I have brought new excitement and energy to what was a dismal wrestling federation! Let them call for my head! Let them burn my name in effigy! All these corksuckers that hate El Qasr Sahli Casbah, the "Man from Taliban", would give their right and left testacles to watch me in the ring. They would hi-jack their own commercial jetliner just to watch one of their preposterous American heroes defeat me in the ring and take away what will always be mine!
The terrorist
camp is buzzing now as everyone is preparing for jihad once again on the
spies and infiltrators.
El Qasr: The time is now, just like the time for my ultimate victory and ascendance into immortality in the W3, so will El Qasr Sahli Casbah be remembered as the man who... the man who... the man who jerboaed Steve Buscemi!!!
TaliTubby: Traalaalaa!!!
El Qasr: You there! Young Taliban suicide bomber! Come forth and be inspected!
TaliTubby: Uh oh!
El Qasr: Let me ask you some questions you should know by heart now IF you studied your terrorist handbook... where do you stabd a man with a knife if you wish him to die like a stcuk American pig???
TaliTubby: Umm... tee hee?
El Qasr: Hmm... yes, that might be very hard for you... how aboutthis one. Should you hijack an airplane that is going on a long destination and is therefore completely filled with highly explosive and flameable jet feul... or should you steal a little boys tricycle and do a drive-by through the local 7-11???
TaliTubby:
Umm... traa laa laa???
El Qasr: Yes, maybe that too is a difficult question. Tell me this little purple Punjab... do you use wax in your beard to makeitstrong and maly... or camel shit??
TaliTubby: Um, wax???
El Qasr: DIE!! DIE!! DIE AMERICAN CORKSUCKER!!! DIE!!!
Gunfire erupts as the TaliTubby explodes into mangled pieces of purple flesh and intestines. The world shudders in fear and terror as shockwaves shake the very foundation of decency and all that is good.
If this crazed Shi-ite kicker will do this to a sweet little British purple poofta, what's he got planned for YOU??? And what does he have in storefor Brian Batson and Greg the Bunny at Corporate Judgement??? Will it be... TALIBAN JUDGEMENT instead??? Find out as this marvelous mini-series continues tomorrow!!!!
El Qasr Sahli Casbah
Hitler had a good idea, but he wasn't a Muslim.