Fade
in...
Location: New York City, NY, USA
Thump!
A bundle of New York Times newspapers hits the streets of Manhattan, headline
up, and it reads...
Israel responds to
bombing
By
SUSAN SEVAREID .c The Associated Press
JERUSALEM (June 19) - A suicide bomber
sprang from a car, 
slipped
past a pair of policemen and blew himself up at a busy Jerusalem intersection
Wednesday, killing at least six other people in the second deadly attack
in the city in two days. Responding, Israeli forces early Thursday entered
a suburb of the West Bank town of Ramallah. The Israeli military had no
immediate comment. Palestinian witnesses said tanks circled a house in
Beitunia, where soldiers apparently planned to make arrests. Shortly after
the suicide attack, Israeli helicopters fired rockets at metal workshops
in the Gaza Strip used to manufacture weapons.
Also
injured in the attack, a man believed to be the father of one Tim
Haught, a pro wrestler and also a *ahem* pro, at other things.
Pictured to the right, Mr. Haught was said to have joined the Islamic
Fundamentalist movement after witnessing one of his sons promos on TWF
televi---
A man picks up the newspaper bundle, cuts
the rope binding them together, and plops them in front of his newstand
as the thousands of New Yorkers going to work today pass by.
In the distance, across the skyline, there is something missing.
A gray cloud marks the spot where the World Trade Center once stood.
Then,
slowly, an image burns into the sky. The visage of a man who will soon
become the scourge of the TWF.... EL QASR SAHLI CASBAH!!!
A group of pigeons is startled and burst into the air, the wings magnifying
until we see nothing but black...
Rewind...
Location: West Bank, Palestine
ZOOOOOOOM!
BRAATAATAAA!
BOOOOOOOOOOOM!
Arabs:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
A Deheisheh refugee camp in Ramalah is under attack by Isreali forces,
bent on revenge for the suicide bombing attacks.
BOOOOOOOOOOOM!
BOOOOOOOOOOOM!
BOOOOOOOOOOOM!
Jews: KILL
THE ARAB SCUM! THOSE SAND MONKEYS MUST DIE!!!!
Arabs: AYAYAYAYAYAYAYA!
A number of small stone shacks are blown to bits by an American bought
Apache helicopter. As the whirling deathbird fires blazing hell down on
the fleeing Arabs, a trio of horse riding Arabs gallop from around a wall
armedwith rifles and shoot at the Israeli copter.
Arabs:
AYAYAYAYAYAYAYA! KILL THE JEWS! THEY STEAL OUR HOMES AND RAPE OUR WOMEN!
The Arabs shoot at the copter with their 22 caliber rifles.
PING
PING PLINK! PLINK! PING!
Isreali Copter Pilot: We don't want your hairy women you hash smoking falafel farmers!
BOOOOOOOOOOOM!
BOOOOOOOOOOOM!
BOOOOOOOOOOOM!
Arabs: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
As hot death rains down on the Arabs, and the Ramalah compound is being destroyed, a pair of creeping, crawling figures scuttle their way around rocks, cars, and goats as they attempt to hide like rats and flee the impending chaos.
Baboo: Master! Master! We are going to die out here! These Israeli scum are going to kill us! Oh master, please save me!
El Qasr Sahli Casbah: Do you have my Guchi shoes in that sack you are carrying?
Baboo: Yes master I do!
El Qasr sahli Casbah: Then stop your incessant whining you flea bitten beggar, and keep your damn head down! I couldn't give a sand rats tookas about you but do you know how long I have been searching for those Guchi wing tips? If those dirty Jews get their hands on them, I will strangle you alive with sheep intestines, do you understand Baboo!?
Baboo: Anything you say master!
A slew of Isreali soldiers run by on foot, but El Qasr Sahli Casbah and Baboo are well hidden.
El Qasr: Alla help us, there are farking Jewish bastiches all over this terrorist compound like Chinese on rice! HALLAH!
Baboo: You are the sartest man in the world oh great Forgotten Prince of Egypt! If anyone can get us out of this predicament it is you!
El Qasr: Shut up and let me think you teet on a rats behind!
El Qasr peeks up from behind the rock and spots a herd of camel tied to a fence.
El Qasr: Baboo, see those camel? I want you to run over there and get the Jew bastiches attention. I will cover you.
Baboo: All the way over there? But the Isrealis will shoot me!
El Qasr: Move it you camel-toed sheep herder! The Isrealis won't shoot camels! They have to put a sheet over them before they do that!
Baboo: Great Prince, I think you have misconstrued that fact just a little. You see, it is not camels, but wome---
El Qasr: Move it you hump, or I will feed you to the desert jackals!
Baboo: AYAYAYAYAYA!
Baboo races out from behind the rock, across the compound. Gunfire follows him as do a number of explosions. Helicopter fire rips through the camels, as Baboo dives for cover behind a palm tree. The camels are blown to pieces by the Israeli copter, which starts to hone in on Baboo, but at that minute, a group of terrorist in taxi cabs zoom into the picture and start hitting the copter with slingshots.
Baboo: Run my prince, run!
El Qasr: Shut up cur! The Jews are too busy slaughtering terrorists to worry about me! But still we have to get out of Palestine! Those a-hole Jew bastiches are killing every damn Arab they can get their hands on. And if it ain't the damn Hebes, its the sand monkeys blowing themselves to bits over nothing but a hunk of sand!
Baboo: But master, aren't we Arabs as well? Shouldn't we be fighti--
SLAP!
El Qasr: Be quiet you mongrel!
Another squadron of Isreais break into the compound, and a few more helicopters fly over head. The firefight gets even worse.
BOOOOOOOOOOOM!
BOOOOOOOOOOOM!
BOOOOOOOOOOOM!
ZOOOOOOOM!
BRAATAATAAA!
BOOOOOOOOOOOM!
Baboo: AAAAAAAAAH! We are going to die like dogs!
El Qasr: You are the only one who is going to die here today dunefarker, if you do not shut your stinking mouth!
Baboo: But how in the name of Allah are we going to escape? The Isrealis have the compound surrounded, and even if we were to escape, we still have to get out of Palestine! The Jews will not let you leave the country once they find out that you equipped terrori---
El Qasr: Shut up stupid fool! Don't mention that!
Baboo: Still, how will we ge--
El Qasr: I SAID QUIET! Am I not the Forgotten Prince of Egypt? Am I not smarter then a thousand pharoahs, stronger then a dozen ox? I can get us out of this counrty, as long as we can get out of this stinking deathtrap beforethe hated Jews get us! Look you fool, look at this and understand!
El Qasr hands Baboo a piece of paper.
Baboo: This... this is a contract. A wresling contract!
El Qasr: I am surprised you can read you insolent baboon!
Baboo: It's Baboo...
El Qasr: Shut it! This here is a contract to wrestle in America and it is our ticket out of Palestine and away from the Isreali pigs!
Nearly three years ago I was in that dung heap of a counrty, wrestling putrid nobodies like Joey Buttafuco and the Mangler in the UWF. Then, in the wink of a lizards eye, I was deported. I returned shortly thereafter with the help off our benefactor...
Baboo: AH! Our "benefactor"!
El
Qasr: ...only to get deported once again. My ties to Al Qaeda and Yassir
are too strong.
But just a few months ago, again with the help of our "benefactor"...
Baboo: AH! Our "benefactor"!
El Qasr: I returned to the states to wrestle in a poophill of contempt named the TWF. After a match against Undertow and Johnny Slam, I was quickly deported once again! Those farkin Americans!
But this time, this time I will enter that blasphemous country and I will stay there! And this contract is our way in! Those FOOLS in the TWF gave everyone an open contract for a match.... LOOK AT THIS! A Royal Rumble for a chance to win the TWF World Heavyweight Championship!!! Me must get on a plane quickly... QUICKLY!!!
Baboo: HALLAH! HALLAH!
El Qasr: Shut up fool! The Jews will get us, and if they do, I will turn you into a eunuch!
Baboo: A thousand apologies great one!
El Qasr: Now let us get out of here... see that wall over there? Go! I will follow you.
Baboo: But the Isrealis...
El Qasr: Forget them! Allah will protect you! But first, give me the sack with the Guchi shoes.
Baboo: Wait! Do you mean to abandon me master?
El Qasr: No, no, of course not! But you will... uh... run faster without it! NOW GO! I command you!
Baboo: AYAYAYAYAYA!
Baboo runs out toeard the wal but he gets cut off by a helicopter.
ZOOOOOOOM!
BRAATAATAAA!
Baboo: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
El Qasr uses the opportunity to scuttle the other way, leaving poor Baboo at the mercy of the Isrealis.
Then, suddenly, a group of terrorists holding shoes and Bic lighters rush out and start throwing exploding Nikes at the helicopter. It turns its attention to them, and Baboo runs away, heading toward where his master escaped.
Baboo: Master! Master! WAIT FOR ME!!!
Fade.....