Fade
in...
Location: New York City, NY, USA
Thump!
A bundle of New York Times newspapers hits the streets of Manhattan, headline
up, and it reads...
Bush
Leaves for Canada Summit After Calling for Arafat's Ouster
By ELISABETH BUMILLER and DAVID E. SANGER ASHINGTON, June 25 —
President Bush left here today for a meeting of world leaders in Canada,
where his Middle East plan calling for the removal of the Palestinian
leader Yasir Arafat seems likely to dominate discussions. Before he departed
he declared parts of Arizona hit by wildfires national disaster areas,
making them eligible for federal aid and low-cost loans. And, in a hastily
arranged detour, he met with firefighters in Springerville, Ariz., and
some of the 30,000 people evacuated from their homes by the blazes. He
also flew over the 351,000-acre region hit by the fires with the Arizona
governor. Jane Hull. Advertisement In Ramallah, on the West Bank, Mr.
Arafat said the choice of a Palestinian leader was something for the Palestinian.....
A man picks up the newspaper bundle, cuts
the rope binding them together, and plops them in front of his newstand
as the thousands of New Yorkers going to work today pass by.
In the distance, across the skyline, there is something missing.
A gray cloud marks the spot where the World Trade Center once stood.
A group of pigeons is startled and burst into the air, the wings magnifying
until we see nothing but black...
Rewind...
Location: West Bank, Palestine
In a secret lair of the Hamas terrorist organization...
Yassir Arafat is on the phone with someone in America...
Yassir
Arafat: Oh great Prince of Egypt, PLEASE! You must help me get to America!
El Qasr Sahli Casbah: No, no, no. How many times I have to tell you Yassy,
the Americans will spot you like that mole on Cindy Crawford's face! You
stand out like poo on a camel's ass!
Yassir Arafat: But I am like a dead man here in Palestine! The Americans want me out, and the terrorists will want me dead since I will no longer be of use to them! Save me oh great Prince!
El Qasr: Screw you sand monkey! I am an Egyptian anyways, not a stinking Arab farking douchebag like you!
Yassir Arafat: Now wait a minute Sahli, there is no need to get nasty with me now. You WERE the one who told me to call YOU in the first pla--
El Qasr: ARGH! You IDIOT! I told you not to say that! You're supposed to be calling ME!
Yassir Arafat: I don't give a fig you Egyptian shitkicker! You are the one with the nastiness. You are the one with the attitude you towel headed freak! I didn't want to call you. My secretary told me your little "friend" Baboo called and said thjat if I made this prank call it would get you over with the American wrestling fa---
El Qasr: You camel farker! You are breaking kayfabe! You stupid hump!
Yassir Arafat: Breaking kayfabe? What in the name of Muhamed is kayfabe? Is that like breaking bread to the filthy Jews? Are you working for filthy Hollywood Jews now Casbah?
El Qasr: Why are a-hole farking Arab bastiches so stupid??? I hope the dan Jews send a scud up your stench ridden ass you palm tree farker!
SLAM!
El Qasr hangs up.
El Qasr: I don't need that Arab snake opil salesman to get over with the W3 fans! I don't even WANT to get overwith those fans, the filthy beggars! And as far as this Brian Cannon person goes, you can kiss my Egyptian uncut 8 and a half centimeter penis you shit-filled donkey blower!
Fade.....
EL QASR SAHLI CASBAH
Not
a farking bastiche