Fade
in...
Location: Air Force One, flying high above the Afghanistan
skies...
Snap!
A Secret Service agent snaps open a NY Times and reads the front page
news...
Bush
Offers Karzai Sympathy on Dead
By ELISABETH BUMILLER ENNEBUNKPORT, Me., July 5 — President Bush called
President
Hamid Karzai of Afghanistan today to express his sympathies over what
the White House called the "tragedy" of an American bombing raid on southern
Afghan villages that residents say killed 40 civilians and wounded 100.
Mr. Bush's words, while not an apology, were the strongest and most formal
expression of regret yet from the United States about the episode on Monday,
one of the worst involving civilian casualties in the nine-month-old American
military mission in Afghanistan. In other news today, it was discovered
that a fourth Bush son existed. Jeb, George, the other one, and now Orangutang
Bush, all sons of former Preside..
A
strange little smile comes over the man, not sure about what he is reading.
Is Bushy actually apologizing to the Afghani's? And is an orangatang really
relatedto Jeb? Would the monkey admit to it?
He puts the paper down slowly, and looks up over
his dark shades at the leader of the free world sitting nearby on his
own private jet, drinking a Yoohoo and picking his nose... and a little
shiver runs up his spine...
Rewind...
Location: Somewhere in the good ole US of A...
A
mansion, owned by a Saudi shiek, where the great Egyptian wrestler El
Qasr Sahli Casbah is holed up after getting into the states.
El Qasr: America sucks Baboo! Why did you talk me into coming here?
Baboo: It was the only way. You were about to be killed by the stinking Jews in Palestine.
El Qasr: We could have gone anywhere, Saudi Arabia, the Sudan, Oman, Katar...
Baboo: I believe it is spelled Qatar oh great one...
El Qasr: Never correct the Pasha of Perfection you imbecile! Now go! And get me my goat!
Baboo: Your... your goat oh Shah of Shenanigans?
El Qasr: That's right you illiterate monkey scrotum, my goat. Bring me my goat!
Baboo: Forgive me great Prince of Egypt, but we left your goat back in Afghanistan.
El Qasr: You did WHAT!?
Baboo: Remember, before we left for Palestine, you tied the goat to a blind beggar on the outskirts of Osama's camp, and when the America---
El Qasr: Shut up you waste of camel sperm! I want my goat now! I NEED my goat! Without my goat, I'll have to fuck one of these ugly American bitches, like Brittany Spears! Or even worse, I'll have to have my way with that skanky succubus, Felicia Duarte! I mean, she did shove her American pie in my beard, did she not!? As much as I know Felicia uarte wants a real man like Sahli Casbah, she cannot have me becauseI am only for the sack wearing Afghanistan women. I accepted her stupid challenge for a atch at the PPV, but I know that after you shot her with an arrow at the last card, she will no longer be able to fight for the IWF. But still, she can certainly just lay there and spread her legs, like she has done most of her life, no? But NO! I do not want nor do I need to catch sand crabs from that American pootana Felicia Duarte... I need my goat! HALLAH!
Baboo: But your Majesty, we can't go back to Afghanistan to get your goat! We will be killed, or worse, turned over to Stormin' Norman Shwarzenegger!
El Qasr: You eunic farker! Any arseholes knows Norman Shwarzennegger is just in the movies!
Baboo: Oh?
El Qasr: It's that Ramboo we have to watch out for, farkin bastiches!
Baboo: But great Caliph of Craptasia, what about your match this week in the IWF!? Against "The Rebel" Kevin Cool!?
El Qasr: Kevi-- Ha ha... Kevee... hee hee! Kevin Cool!? HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA!
Babboo: heh heh... yes, Kevin Cool. "The Rebel" Kevin Cool...
El
Qasr: KEVIN COOL!? HA HA HA! HO HO HO! HEE HEE HEE! WEEEEE!
Babboo: Heh heh... Kevin Cool... heh heh... erm. What is so funny great
Sahli Casah?
El Qasr: Forget that scrotum licker, we have to get my goat! LET'S GO!
Fast forward to Afghanistan...
El Qasr: Look at this smoldering pile of crap! This was a village once until the Americans bombed it to smithereens! Farking bastiches!
Baboo: Look your excellency! Your goat!
El
Qasr: That's not my goat! That's George W. Bush!
Dubya B: Take a gander at that Colin, one of the natives come crawlin'
out of his hole... hee hee hee... let's fuck with him.
Colin P: Word up homes.
Dubya B: Hey there fella, so sorry I had to bomb your village. Thought we caught wind of Osama Bin Ladin around here. Speaking of catching wind... excuse me...
PFFFFFFFFF!
Colin P: Oh dip! He done farted!
Dubya B: Isn't that how they greet each other in this country?
 |
|
El
Qasr, about to treat Kevin Cool the way he treats his pet goat
|
El Qasr: You farking arsehole bastiches! Look what you did to this town! You blew it up! My goat lived here and now you killed it! Now you.. no! Wait! LOOK!
Cue corny music.
El
Qasr: Goat!
Goat:
Bah!
El Qasr: Come here little one and let me show you how much I missed you!
Goat: Bah!
Baboo: Eh... great one?
El Qasr: Lemme alone, I am saying hello to my goat.
Baboo: Errr... majestic Pharoah of Fornication...
El Qasr: Shut it nimrod... oh goat... lovely goat...
Baboo: Um, listen... great Baba of Bestiality... I don't think we want to catch this on camera...
El Qasr: And why not? Don't all Americans have a goat? Doesn't every little American arsehole boy have his own four-legged furry friend?
Baboo: Um, ok, yeah.
El Qasr: Mmmmm... goat...Goat: Bah! Bah! Kevin Cool... BAH! Watch out cuz your NEXT!
Fade.....
EL QASR SAHLI CASBAH
I don't drive a Taxi you arseholes