Disclaimer: My sorry ass does not own Gundam Wing. I own my house key, some chapstick, and three cans of soup. I’m a poor college student; please don’t sue me.
He is gone.
Yesterday, I saw him smile that rare, boyish smile…there seemed to be nothing in the world that could keep him away from me. Now, I see that smile only in my mind’s eye and…it hurts. The pain in my soul is excruciating.
No one will say anything to me. Lady Une keeps her mouth shut in her characteristic style. I think she’s trying to protect me from something inside of Zechs; something tortured and cruelly twisted. His soul. It won’t let him live a life with any semblance of normalcy. Somewhere deep inside of me, I always knew it. It had been there since I first met him. After the war, I realized that there was no changing it. It couldn’t be fixed, torn out, or transformed.
But I never admitted it to myself, convinced that our love could transcend anything. But it couldn’t. There was no doubt in my mind that Zechs loved me; he had proven it countless times. That’s why he left. Love meant breaking down the walls around his soul that were in every way impenetrable.
This came as a sudden shock to me when I finally ended my denial. The man I loved, and who loved me back, could not handle it. This odd revelation had me crying myself to sleep every night since he left. In any other relationship, this would be ridiculous and absolutely unheard of.
But this was Zechs.
Now, there was nothing I could do but get over it. The thought was more painful than the situation that called upon it. And so I sat in my living room the eighth night after he left, in complete darkness as that allowed for me to wallow in self-pity much easier. Then there was the knock at the door. Sally had taken to coming over every evening, babysitting me. I didn’t mind, or didn’t care. I sighed heavily, getting up to answer the door, thinking that I should really get Sally a key.
And there stood Zechs. The world turned upside down for a moment before I assured myself that this was really happening. I tried so say something, but he crushed his lips against mine, effectively cutting of any chance of me yelling, screaming, or otherwise. He had to stop eventually for need of oxygen.
“Zechs,” I whispered, out of breath from his passionate kiss. All thoughts of chewing him out for scaring me to death flew out of my head. He had me lightheaded.
Before I could gather my thoughts, he had me in his arms. Oh God, his arms…they held me tightly, but with the utmost tenderness. “I’m so sorry, Noin,” he said, his face buried in my hair. His lips were nipping and kissing their way down my neck. I gasped at the sensation and squirmed in his arms, still trying to speak.
“What happened to you?” I said with slight irritation. There he was, running his hands up and down my back, kissing me, without any kind of explanation as to why he was here. “Une said you were gone…”I trailed off. His kisses stopped, and he just stood embracing me but remaining silent. “Why are you sorry? Damnit Zechs, answer me!” I pushed him away, glaring into his ice blue eyes. He only met my gaze with a deep sadness in his eyes that made me want to forget any anger I held toward him.
“Lu,” he said, brushing the side of my face with his fingertips. “I just had to see you…to say goodbye.” There were tears in his eyes. Wait, tears in Zechs Merquise’s eyes?
My world was growing more and more confusing with every minute that passed. “Goodbye?” I choked out the words, not believing what he was implying.
“I came here to talk to you. I was almost convinced that leaving without telling you anything was better for you, but…God,” he turned away, his face contorting in frustration.
His pain tore at me and I found my eyes watering. “Zechs, come in. Do you want something to drink?” I led him to the couch. He shook his head no and so I joined him, suddenly hesitant. “Please, Zechs. I need you to talk to me. You always have before…”
A faint smile crossed his face. I imagine he was recalling all the times we’d sit and talk…God, could we sit and talk… “I’m going to try to tell you…everything.” He took a deep breath. I barely noticed that I did the same. He spoke…for over two hours he spoke and I listened. By the end, we were both crying. Not sobbing in each other’s arms, but the silent tears that come from acknowledging a harsh, painful truth. He told me he loved me more than anything in the world, that he wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of his life with me, but that he couldn’t. I knew it already; he had too many issues he needed to resolve. He needed time, though how much time he couldn’t tell or even guess at. He only knew that he needed to get away from everything’s he’s ever known for a time, to figure himself out. He needed to leave everyone. From the Preventers, the Gundam pilots, his sister, and from me.
“I’m sorry Noin,” he pleaded and his tears began falling again. I threw myself in his arms without a moments thought, wrapping my arms around his neck. His arms went around my waist, pressing my body to his. We held onto each other for dear life. I never wanted to let go, I couldn’t.
And then his lips met mine. Softly at first, then harder as we both decided what was going to happen. I was nibbling at his earlobe when he scooped me up in his arms and carried me to my bedroom. Our shirts disappeared along the way and the rest of my clothes by the time Zechs laid me on the bed. He crawled over me, caressing my breasts as I went to work on his pants.
He pinned me down, kissing me everywhere. Slowly, softly he ran his hands and lips all over my body, taking more time at my breasts and stomach. It was exquisitely torturous what he did, but I wanted it. I wanted him. He parted my legs and began working me with his tongue. My hands grabbed and twisted his long platinum locks around my fingers. Apparently, this didn’t bother him; he only kept going, penetrating me with his long fingers until I arched my back in orgasm, moaning his name.
Smirking, he slunk back over me, devouring my mouth even though I was still trying to catch my breath. I felt his erection at my entrance, waiting for me to consent. I thrust my hips up, pushing myself unto him. He groaned into my mouth and began pushing in farther, filling me completely before pulling back out.
“Oh God, Lu,” he whimpered into my ear as he sped up, thrusting harder as I rocked my hips to meet him. Each thrust tore a moan from my throat. “I love you,” he murmured into my hair, his voice husky with his passion.
Higher and higher we climbed until I could feel myself of the edge again. Harder still he drove, and I screamed his name in ecstasy, my senses spiraling passionately out of control. I clung to him as he buried himself within me, sobbing my name as he spilled himself inside.
Groaning, he rolled over, pulling me on top, his manhood still inside me. I rested my head on his chest, our breathing slowing as we lay together in silence. “Will you wait for me, Lu?” he asked, his voice breaking with emotion.
I smiled. “Zechs…you know I will,” I whispered against his chest.
He yawned. “I’ll come back, I swear it.”
“I believe you,” I mumbled, tired and sleepy. “I love you. I know you’ll be back.”
* * *
Zechs closed his eyes. Thank you.
~ End~
Author’s Notes/Comments/Rants: K, so that was basically a one-shot lemon. Gosh, Zechs is so yummy! I may do a follow up on this. Depends on…I don’t know…Anyway, so yeah…comments are always welcome! Flames will thaw my freezing fingers…it’s always below 0 in my dorm room.
