Sucks to Be You <3 ~*~ A Questionable Word

Title: A Questionable Word

Author: Idimmu

Fandom: Weiss Side B

This is in the Weiss Side B universe, the newest Weiss series [For some reason, the equating one part of a series with a different universe made me think of The Great Will of the Macrocosm from Excel Saga. Does that mean *gulp* that the puchus are coming?]. Go here <http://thefarshore.henkei.com/index2.html> if you want lots of info/text translations of the manga. Basically it's Aya and Ken in New York [Home base for KB is London, not NY] with a new group, set after Gluhen [And some misplaced modifiers]. And despite slightly feminine names, all the characters are male [They are? OMG!!!!] [WTF BBQ!!!11!!]. Also let it be noted [that I dub this land Crestview Acres.] that this is a sort of stream of consciousness type of thing [Which is just a fancy way of saying it's poorly written]. So don't be surprised at the flittings between subjects... Another note after, don't want to spoil it.

[I believe it would be impossible for you to spoil this.]

"~~Kerfudder~~ [Puchu]!?"

"Yes, '~~kerfudder~~ [Puchu]'. Don't you know what that is?" [No, I don't.] [Way not to define who was talking and miss out on the effect of doing so. Whooo!]

"...No Ken, I can't say that I do." [And I bet you're going to torture us for a while before you tell us.]

Ken released an exascerbated [exasperated] sigh [which he had been holding captive for some time]. Don't people know simple things such as this? Especially Aya. Aya is smart, he of all people should know what 'kerfudder' means. [That sounds about as much as Ken's inner voice as pig-on-human porn sounds like Mozart.] "I thought you were smart Aya, with all the books, and the... books. But, but... ~~Kerfudder~~ [Puchu]! It's a simple word!"

[Why is Ken always portrayed as being the dumb one of Weiss?]

[And why is he being so un-Japanese as to talk about someone in the third person when they're present. I mean, I can kina maybe see it, but really! This is Japanese Manners 101, people.]

Staying true to the trend of the moment [namely wearing Mexican omelets on ones head], Aya also ~~releases~~ released [The Puchus no likey tense shifts T_T.] an exascerbated [Buy a dictionary!] [And a cucumber to shove up your fetid, OOC-spewing cunt!] sigh. More like ~~exhalesd~~ exhaled it really, but you get the point. [No, I don't, actually.] "Ken, I am not you. I do not know your mind, [Except he does, as he's proven over and over again in the series. See episode 4 as an example.] but if it is anything like the kitchen after you cook, I don't think I want to know [though snazzy, omelet hat may have other ideas]. Moreover, despite the change from Japanese to English for spoken language, it is still not a word when you put random sounds and letters together. Okay?" [You are doing a grave disservice to Ken in this 'fic'.] [Not to mention grammar whores, linguists and what of my brain the vileness of this prose hasn't eaten away.]

If you [This breaking down of the fourth wall thing is highly annoying.] looked into the room at that moment, you could see Ken nod [like bobbleheads!]. At least it might have been a nod, could've been some kind of a nervous twitch though [as the omelete was getting cold], Aya was giving him a slight glare. The redhead was a bit more sociable now at least. [Glaring is sociable behavior?]

"Hey! Ken~! What are you and Aya doing [with that tilde]?" Michel had come in to the room now [as opposed to later. Aya's omelet was starting to reek, much like... nah, I won't say it.], it seemed. Free too, but you could never tell with him, he was too quiet. [Plus, he's so short and has such an ordinary appearance, who would notice him? :P] But if you looked close enough you could see that his vision [attention] was oddly focused on Michel's ass. But hey, if a guy looks good in a skirt, he looks damn good in a skirt, 'kay? [Except he wears KILTS which aren't formfitting. And if his ass is all that gorgeous, why would it be odd for someone to be ogling it?]

Ken smacked his forehead sharply [because he's so stupid, he forgot to take his bagh-nakhs off first] [Let it be noted thus was the death of Ken. But just what had- puchu -made him so forgetful? Hmm!] Michel was very nosy [noisy?] and exuberant [Like a cheerleader! Rah rah, go KB! Faster! KILL!!! Don't argue about ~~kerfudders~~ puchus]. He was sort of like the male version of the female Omi, however that was possible [What the FUCK?]. Hey, things like that make at least a modicum of sense [Oh, yeah. Everything's clear as crystal]. But yes [no], he didn't feel like justifying Michel's question with an answer, so he didn't. [Umm... duh.] Crossing his arms, he made like a stubborn three year old and stuck his nose up in the air.

[On behalf of all Ken fans everywhere...*spork spork spork*]

Aya however, did answer. "I'm trying to get Ken to tell me what '~~kerfudder~~ [puchu]' means. He came in here saying 'stupid piece of crap that always go ~~kerfudder~~ [puchu]', and I want to know what the hell he's talking about." [Aya for some reason assumed that "kerfudder" was some new-fangled sound effect for gas passing. Obviously, it had been used in context suggesting it was a sound, as the Aya in the unhacked version of this fic was seemingly oblivious to. Meanwhile, going along with the hack, he rightly thought Ken was having bowel issues again. Can't have a hack without shit. Fear the pun, baby, oh yeah.]

"Ne, Aya. That was a really long sentence..." Ken got that spacey look that tells you he's stepping into flashback mode [Eh?] [Waits for the proverbial instantly appearing camera to... well, appear!]. Luckily Aya fished him out though, I am far too lazy to think up a flashback topic at the moment [And far too lazy to write something decent, it seems]. [No angsty, shitty flashback for Weiss. And they're so good at having those ;_;.]

"Would you stop avoiding the topic and tell me what '~~kerfudder~~ [puchu]' means already?!" [PLEASE!]

Ken snapped his fingers around his face and shook his head about [like a pan with a proper Julia Child omelet in it, or maybe some maracas]. Luckilly [sp] he didn't start the hokey pokey. [Anyone who thinks Ken dancing the hokey-pokey might actually improve this fic say "I!" if you can open your mouth without puking.] But he had apparently adopted ghetto mannerisms [In London?]. Maybe it was a bad idea for them to relocate to New York [London].

"FINE, I will tell you. But only because it's you Aya." [Then why didn't he just spit it out to begin with?]

"Yes, get on with it..." Aya refused to show his reaction to the obvious favoritism Ken had for him. Maybe there was some special reason that Ken followed him from Japan. [Hot sweaty man sex?] [Is there ever a reason that trumps hot, sweaty man sex?]

"~~Kerfudder~~ [Puchu] is the sound a motorcycle makes when it is out of gas. [Kids, can you say 'anticlimax'?] My bike ran out of gas two blocks from here and I had to walk it back." Ken explained all this like it was a generally known fact. Aya blinked. [And Murasaki covered her face with her hands]

Chloe and Yuki look up briefly from their posts in the flowershop when they heard the huge bang upstairs. [Which they hadn't caused. Mmm, Yuki X Chloe shota seme goodness.] The shop lacks fangirls, Aya had guessed that most of them couldn't afford to come visit them. No tears were shed over this. [But Chloe, who had been relegated to a wobbly stool by the refrigerator cases, looked rather mournful.]

"BAKA!!!" Aya seemed to be so annoyed he was reverting to his native language. [Aya never insults Ken.] Good job there, KenKen... [I'm assuming the omelet was talking there...]

"Free, what does '~~baka~~ [puchu]' mean?"

"I'll tell you when I find out." Free really is a disgrace, don't you think? [No, actually I think he's damn sexy.] Must be the only former Liechtenstein citizen that doesn't know Japanese. He backed away slightly when Ken ran out of the room, to prevent an accident of course.

"Ken no ~~BAKA~~ [puchu]!!"