Disclamer: I do not own any of the Gundam Wing characters and I'm not doing this for money so if you sue me you gotta be either really dumb or really, really dumb.
***
When did life get so damned hard? When did it start to hurt just to breath? I miss my childhood. Memories aren't good enough. I want to live in happiness again. I remember when I was younger and woke up each morning I wanted to get out of bed and face the world. But when did I want to start staying in bed? When did it get so hard to face life? When did life start throwing pain my way? And why does Love have to hurt so much? When does the pain go away? When does it get easier? Does it ever get easier? When do I find it? And when will it not walk out on me and leave me with only a broken heart and tear -stained pillows? When do I get my turn?
***
Heaven
Confined in hell.
Wanna fly.
Crying all alone.
Wanna soar.
I wanna, but I can't.
***
I can't get out of this stupid world no matter WHAT I do. There is no way I'm gonna "breath the fresh air of happiness". No way I'm gonna "taste the sweet clouds of joy". No way... Why can't people just stay how they were: young, innocent, pure, and lovely. I want to stay like that. I used to think it was good to grow up 'cause you would get to experince real Love. But now I think purity is so much better. Love has shown it's dangerous self to me and now I know I'm not ready for it. So why can't I stay young, innocent, pure, and lovely while I wait? Why can't I be a kid again?
Now and days when I look back at my life I cry. I had everything I want now, but it's too late. Childhood is gone. But what's ironic is when I was young I wanted what I have now, but now I don't want it. I just wish I knew what to do while I'm on this Earth. I'm so stupid! So incredibly stupid! How could I have been so blind to what happiness I had?! The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, but when you get there it's not green, but brown and filled with weeds. And sometimes you can't get back over that damned fence. Sometimes it's too late to climb over.
If you could have any wish what would it be? Any wish in the entire world? The first words out of my mouth would be, "I wish I could fly." Then may be I could "breath the fresh air of happiness"and "taste the sweet clouds of joy". And I could "fell the wind on my face" and "the sun on my skin". And I could fly over that fence I have so much trouble climbing. Then may-be my life wouldn't be so much like hell. May-be Relena will get her turn. But I doubt I'll ever get the chance to make a wish... Any wish of mine is doomed to live eternity of being unfullfiled.
Fanfiction Relena's Thoughts
Along with hundreds of other souls.
Looking towards the sky.
Wanna feel the wind on my face.
Wanna breath the fresh air of happiness.
With no one to understand.
Looking for the light.
Wanna feel the sun on my skin.
Wanna taste the sweet clouds of joy.
I shouldn't, and I won't.
This is my cage.
Wanna scream to get out...
Just wanna scream...
