Disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam Wing. *pout* But I’m sure the people who do are off in their big mansion with tons of money, lying next to the pool and sipping champagne. While I’m here in my little cardboard box home in the alley next to the McDonalds dumpster! Damn lucky bastards!!! (In case you didn’t figure it out yet, I’m joking about my house thing ^_^)
***
(Duo, WuFei, and Trowa sat on various chairs inhabiting the large room.)
***
(The 4 G-Boys stand in front of a big metal door)
Fanfiction It Was the Zero System... Or Was It?
Heero: *burst through door* Okay, what's the emergency?
Duo: *jumps out of chair* Hey, Heero! Glad you finally came!
Heero: Yeah. What's the problem?
Trowa: Something's the matter with Quatre.
Heero: What?
Duo: He said that something-
Heero: I know! *hits Duo to make him shut up* I mean what's the matter with him?
Duo: Umm... The big red letters at the entrance would tell you.
Heero: All it said was "SANITARIUM".
All but Heero: *sweat drop*
WuFei: *looks up from reading magazine* Do you know what that means?
Heero: ...
Duo: It means nut house, looney bin, funny farm. Take your pick.
Heero: You mean Quatre is...
Duo: Nuts, crackers, bananas, pickles.
WuFei: Pickles?
Duo: What?! I'm hungry, okay?! It just started to sound so good... *drifts into thoughts of nuts, bananas, crackers, and pickles ala mode.*
Heero: But how did this happen?
WuFei: We don't know. That's why we're here.
(A cheery woman in a nurse’s uniform appears)
Nurse: *BIG smile* Hello! And how are all of you today?
WuFei: Fine.
Trowa: ...
Duo: *jumps in front of nurse with big smile on his face* Hi! Nice to meet ya! I'm Duo!
Nurse: Wow! That's very nice! And how do you feel?
Duo: Great!
Nurse: Really? That's good! Why don't you come with me for awhile?
Duo: Okay! Sounds good! *follows nurse out of room*
Everyone left: ...
Everyone left: ...
Everyone left: ...
(5 minutes later screams could be heard from the hall.)
Duo: *runs into room with straight jacket halfway on* AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! I DON'T WANNA GO TO THE RUBBER ROOM ANYMORE!!!
Nurse: *runs into room in hunt of Duo* Come back here! You still need to take your medicine! *whips out 6 foot syringe*
Duo: *still running around room* I don't wanna!!!
Nurse: But you NEED to!!!
(Man in doctors uniform enters room)
Doctor: Mrs. Spears!
Nurse: *stops chasing Duo and looks at doctor* Yes, doctor?
Doctor: I thought I told you not to harass the visitors anymore.
Nurse: I'm sorry. But it's HIS fault! *points at Duo* He made me think he was crazy!
Doctor: Mrs. Spears, I thought we agreed that you could get out of the straight jacket if you stop dressing as a nurse chasing people with needles!
Nurse: I'm sorry, doctor. And please, call me Britney.
Doctor: Looks like we need to take you back to the padded cell.
Nurse: NO! YOU WILL NEVER TAKE ME BACK TO THAT PLACE! NEVER!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!
Doctor: *snaps fingers*
(2 big men grab the nurse and drag her down the hall.)
Nurse: NO!!! If I go back in that room the dancing hammers will get me! You can't do this to me!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
G-Boys: O_o
Doctor: I'm sorry. You must excuse Mrs. Spears. She likes to dress up as a nurse and give people shots.
Duo: Really? I thought she was perfectly normal...
Heero: We’re here to visit a friend.
Doctor: Who?
Trowa: Quatre Winner.
Doctor: O_o QUATRE WINNER?!?!
WuFei: Yes...
Doctor: I'm not sure if you can see him.
Duo: Why?
Doctor: Mr. Winner is a unusual case...
Heero: And how's that?
Doctor: Well, I guess you CAN see him. But if you let him out it will be in your hands...
Duo: Is he THAT bad?
Doctor: I'm afraid so...
Duo: Man, think they got enough doors to get here?
WuFei: 67 is a bit much...
Duo: And here’s the 68. Now let's see him. *presses red button that opens door*
(door opens to reveal a padded cell with a sweaty, trembling Quatre in a straight jacket balled up in the corner.)
Duo: Hey, Q-man.
Quatre: ...
Trowa: Quatre?
Quatre: ...
Duo: Quatre?
Quatre: *looks up at them then screams* They're back! The penguins are back! AAAAHHHHHH!!!!
Duo: No, Quatre. We're not penguins we're your friends remember?
Quatre: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! The penguins are talking!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Trowa: Quatre-
Quatre: *rocks back and forth* I DON'T HEAR YOU! I DON'T HEAR YOU! LALALALALALALA!
WuFei: I take back what I said about the doors...
Quatre: If I had Sandrock right now I'd blow all you stupid penguins up! Blow you to smithereens!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Heero: Would you like to borrow my gun?
Duo, Trowa, and WuFei: WHAT?!
Heero: *reaches into spandex shorts and pulls out gun* Here. *gently tosses to Quatre* Shoot the penguins.
WuFei: INJUSTICE!!!
Trowa: Are you insane?!
Duo: May-be you should be the one in the straight jacket.
Heero: Shhh! Let's see what he does.
Trowa: You make it sound like we're doing a documentary on him.
Quatre *cocks his head and stares at the gun then blinks twice* Sandrock?
Gun: *silence*
Quatre: *narrows eyes* You're NOT Sandrock!!!
Gun: *silence*
Quatre: You imposter!!! *kicks gun towards Heero*
Gun: *flies towards the door*
WuFei: DUCK!!!
Sane G-Boys: *duck*
Insane G-Boy: Where?! Where's the duck?!
Sane G-boys: *stand up*
Quatre: You- you penguins! You can't fool me!!! I know you aren't ducks! I can tell a penguin when I see one!
Duo: Are you sure about that?
Quatre: Do dead dogs walk straight?
Duo: Um, no.
Quatre: EXACTLY!!!! Bwahahahaha!!!
Duo: *backs away slowly* Sure, Quatre...
Quatre: *stops laughing and glares at the other G-Boys* Where do you think you're going?
Duo: *stops moving* Nowhere.
Quatre: Good. Then you guys can finally meet the teacups.
WuFei: Teacups?
Quatre: Yes. The teacups. They should be coming soon.
Everyone but Quatre: ...
Quatre: Hey! Look, you penguins! There! There's the teacups!
Everyone but Quatre: ...
Duo: Sure there is, buddy...
Quatre: See how pretty they are? And they sparkle! *begins to sway back and forth* So pretty...
Everyone else: O_o
Quatre: Dance with me, penguins! Dance the Dance of the Sparkly Teacups!
Heero: May-be we should go now...
Duo: No, let’s stay.
WuFei: Why the hell would you wanna do that?
Duo: You heard what the doctor said. We don’t want to get him upset.
Trowa: Are you saying you want us to dance with him?
Duo: Would you rather have him blow us up?
Trowa: Good point.
WuFei: INJUSTICE!
Duo: Just dance! *starts dancing the Cabbagepatch*
Heero: You can’t be serious.
Duo: Do I look serious? *still dancing*
Heero: No, you just look stupid.
Duo: Fine, don’t dance. *starts dancing the monkey* But don’t come crawling to me when Quatre get out and goes after you.
Other G-boys: *look at each other then begin to move a little*
Duo: C’mon, put some feeling into it!
Quatre: You stupid penguins!!! That isn’t the Dance of the Sparkly Teacups!!! Now you must be punished!!!
Heero: *hits Duo on the head* Baka! Look what you did!
Duo: *Rubs his head where Heero hit him* Hey, I didn’t know!
Quatre: *eyes begin to glow bright red and speaks in a demonic voice* YOU PENGUINS HAVE INSULTED THE TEACUPS!!! NOW YOU MUST DIE!!!
WuFei: Do something, Maxwell!
Duo: I know!!! *pulls Dorothy out of evil psycho bitch space*
Dorothy: Quatre Raberba Winner.
Quatre: *still with demonic voice* YOU THINK YOU AND YOUR STUPID TWEAZER EYEBROWS CAN SCARE ME?!!! DON’T MAKE ME LAUGH!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Dorothy: *eyebrows wobble as she whips out fencing sword*
Quatre: Eep! *curls up into corner of room and starts to cry* No, don’t hurt me!
Duo: See I got everything under control.
Trowa: What if Dorothy gets away?
Duo: She won’t. *whips out collar and leash then puts it around Dorothy’s neck*
Heero: Now what are you gonna do with her?
Dorothy: Oh, we’re just gonna play a little...
WuFei: *sigh* Let’s just go home....
All: *walks off into the sunset with corny music playing in the background*
