"It all started at a bar. My friends and I... well, we went out for a bit. And we got a little drunk... Okay, a whole lot drunk. Basically what happened was..."
"I can't believe you drink Peach Schnapps! That's so wussy!" Duo exclaimed, face buried in the table. Quatre hauled his head up by the braid.
"Well I can't believe you drink Caesars! That's so morbid!" Quatre put in, then lapsed into a fit of giggling wherein he fell onto Trowa.
"How do they make clamato juice anyway?" Trowa asked, blinking as he found himself partly covered by Quatre.
"They get little children with little fingers to milk the clams, and you can hear the little screams..." said Heero, knocking back a shot of Jack Daniels.
"Stoooop it," said Quatre, holding his hands over his ears.
Duo laughed, his head plunking back down on the table.
Heero poured himself another drink, and Trowa did not want to know how he got a hold of a once full bottle of hard liquor. "Where's Wufei?"
"I think last I saw of him, he was sittin' in a corner gettin' bitched at by some bar bitch for only ordering water."
"I wonder why he won't get drunk?"
"I dunno." Duo reached for his drink and accidentally pushed it off the table.
"Well fuck, Duo. You couldn't be more careful?" said Quatre, glaring at him from Trowa's lap. He hadn't moved and Trowa hadn't moved either.
Duo looked around, whipping his braid to either side. Trowa and Heero glared at him while Quatre giggled.
"What are you looking for?" Heero asked.
"Duct tape," Duo replied. As luck would have it, there was a roll a few feet from him. He picked it up and plunked it on the table with a loud thump. Trowa, Heero and Quatre winced.
"Why?" Quatre asked, leaning his chin on the table.
"Man, duct tape and alcohol fix everything!"
"Prove it," Heero said. Duo grinned.
"Gimmie an example."
"You broke your glass," Trowa said.
"Duct tape first, alcohol after."
"Broken leg," Heero said.
"Duct tape on leg, alcohol for the person who watches you set your leg."
"Broken Gundam," Trowa countered.
"Alcohol for the Gundam AND Duct tape."
"What if... there's this guy you like... but you're too scared to say anything..." Quatre said, burying his head in something soft, which happened to be Trowa's crotch. Trowa blinked.
"Duct tape yourself to him while you're drunk!" Duo said proudly after a minute. Trowa and Heero continued quizzing Duo until Duo fell over. In the meantime, Quatre had managed to duct tape his wrist to Trowa's wrist.
Trowa looked down and saw Quatre in the process of duct taping.
"Quatre, what are you doing?" he asked.
"What Duo said."
"Oh. Well then." Trowa lifted Quatre's face up and kissed him, tasting the Schnapps.
"Mmmm.... works..." Quatre remarked.
It was at that point that there was a check to see if there were any minors in the bar. With gleeful looks, they crawled along the floor and ran outside, laughing.
Trowa and Quatre wandered off elsewhere while Heero and Duo stopped a block away, holding each other, laughing. Duo was still clutching the duct tape.
"We hehe could have been arrested.. heh," Duo said.
"And we heheh would have been strip searched or something heheh," Heero added.
"Heh... officer, strip search please..." Duo remarked. Heero had a feral and admittedly drunken look in his eyes.
"Up against the pole," he said, motioning to a nearby telephone pole. Feeling giddily hazy, Duo complied as Heero stripped him and felt him up.
"You're under arrest for having such a fine ass..." Heero stated, ripping off a long piece of duct tape and taped Duo's wrists together. Duo leaned against the pole, laughing as his bare skin made contact with the wood. Heero finished securing Duo. He then dropped the roll and wandered off.
"Heero, where are you going?" Duo yelled.
"To find my squad car..." Heero yelled back. Duo giggled as his legs gave out and his eyesight became incredibly hazy. It was at that point he passed out on his knees...
"And that officer I swear is God's honest truth of how I wound up duct taped naked to a telephone pole!"
End
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