RW Fanfic: Mob Fic (Nine Seals) Part Six

Part Six

It was absurd. It was foolhardy. It was what they had come up with during their short walk.

They were going to knock. Rowen shook his head at the sheer folly of it all.

It's not m'business to say something. It really isn't. But this is so stoopid!

Cye and Kento stood at the door. Cye's hand was poised to knock.

"Waittasec!" Rowen said, unable to take any more. Cye dropped his hand.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Yer goin' in there to break this guy's legs--"

"'e doesn't 'ave legs, 'e's a floating 'ead," Cye muttered.

"Whattevah. If you just knock, he's gonna grab yas and have yah shot."

"That would be bad," Kento observed dryly. Rowen nodded.

"So, what yas have ta do is be all sneaky like. Climb inna window or somethin'. Skulk under tables. Hide in the air ducts. Stuff like that."

Cye nodded. "But what am I to do with my Penelope?" he asked.

"Who's Penelope?" Rowen asked. Cye indicated his chainsaw, and gave it an affectionate pat.

"I cahn't go sneaking around with Penelope. She might get dusty."

This guy's outta 'is tree. He's cute, though.

"Ah'll watch, ah, Penelope for ya. I'll just stay right 'ere," Rowen said. Cye smiled broadly.

From a distance, a tiny wail was heard. They ignored it.

"Thank you. But be careful, I wouldn't want you to attract the attention of those ruffians again."

"Ah think ah'll be fine," Rowen said. Cye nodded and both enforcers disappeared to look for a convenient air duct or window.

Rowen leaned against the wall, crossed his arms and looked up and down the street. Eventually he looked down at the seemingly benign chainsaw.

"Penelope, huh? What kind of a nut job has a chainsaw and gives it a name, huh?" Rowen kicked at the chainsaw. It spontaneously started and let out a low, menacing buzz.

"AAAAAAaaah! It's possessed! The chainsaw is possessed!"[1] Rowen cried, breathing hard. The chainsaw, contrary as a cat, turned off.

Rowen stared at the chainsaw for a long time, then shucked his trench coat off, throwing it over top of the chainsaw. It buzzed in irritation.

"You bettah not 'urt mah trench," Rowen said. A short buzz met his ears. Rowen reached into the pocket of his trench coat and pulled out a few small devices. "Ah'll be right back..." The chainsaw made a slight, whining sound and went quiet.

Cye and Kento walked around the building, looking for a sneaky way to get in. They paused at a sign.

"Excellent!" Cye said, climbing in the window. Kento rolled his eyes and followed. There is something familiar about that Rowen guy. I just can't put my finger on it.

Once inside, they spotted another sign.

"How... convenient," Kento commented dryly. Cye pulled him into the convenient shadowy spot and hid them both behind the sign.

From their hiding spot, they could see Talpa, the Floating Head. *insert buh buh BUH! here* He was in fact a giant, floating pink-burgundy samurai mask with white, flowing hair. This mask was currently wearing a black fedora and a tie that was attached to where his neck would be, if it was there.

Lounging on a black sofa was a woman(?) with long red hair and horribly cut bangs. She(?) was wearing a short, burgundy leather miniskirt and an off the shoulder black top. Her(?) legs were crossed and covered by red fishnet and on her(?) feet were a pair of black, high heeled boots. She(?) was lazily sucking on a candy cigarette and whining.

"But I don't want to be the cigarette girl!" she complained.

"Anubis, shut up. The author wanted someone to crossdress and since it couldn't be her first choice, it fell to you,[2]" said a tall young man with a scar under his right eye and very Wolverine-ish hair.

"Shut up Kale. As soon as I find out who that first choice was, I'm gonna make him pay..." Anubis growled, snapping the candy cigarette in half. Cye and Kento looked at each other.

"Poor sod, wonder who it was," Cye said. Kento shrugged. On the other side of the room, hiding in another convenient hiding spot, Rowen sweated.

'm in trouble, ain't I?

The author nodded. Rowen sighed and began crawling around on the floor, slipping small, electronic insects into place. After 'bugging' the room, Rowen put a small pipe made out of thin, threadlike pieces of metal under the table and secured it in place. Once the 'wire tap' was in place, he got ready to sneak out. He was just about to come out from the table, but a pair of legs stopped him. He backed up in panic.

"Hey boss, why are you doing this?" Kale asked. A deep, low laugh which tended to characterise really evil bad guys filled the air, making Rowen shiver.

"Why? Why am I collecting as much money as possible and risking my life and business doing so?" Talpa asked rhetorically. "Because, with enough money, I will be able to purchase a body of my very own, and with it, the power to be more than just a simple bookie! I will have the power to take over the country, and dare I say it, the world!!!!"

Talpa trailed off into the maniacal laughter than tended to follow semi-schizzo bad guys around like the plague. Rowen, Cye and Kento all crept out of the room, and went outside. They were all very, very disturbed now.