"Death to Destruction, come in. Over."
"Destruction receiving, Death. Will now be known as 01. Over."
"Same, 02. Over."
"First hallway is clear, 02. Over."
"I am also cl- shit!" 01 heard gunshots over 02's comm unit. He took off towards 02's location. 02 was pinned down by an unseen enemy. 01 focused on their source and fired carefully. The shots ceased.
"Thanks 01!" said 02 brightly. 01 nodded and they slunk through the hallway. Fifty feet ahead was a dead end.
"Shit, but I saw light coming from here," said 02 thoughtfully as he looked around. He looked up and grinned and started jumping up and down.
"Be serious," said 01 sternly.
"I found where the light was coming from," 02 pointed to the ceiling and grinned.
01 looked up. There was a large opening in the ceiling. It was meant to be there as it was cut carefully.
"Help me up," said 02. 01 obligingly helped him up.
"Clown to Dragon, come in. Over."
"Reading you Clown. Over."
"Roof entrance is secure. Fly on up. Over."
"Understood. Am now 05. Over."
"Roger that. Am 03. Over."
05 scaled the wall quickly. Once reaching the top, 03 gave him a hand up. A brief nod was exchanged as they headed to the entrance that would bring them inside the building. They looked in quickly. The hallway seemed unoccupied.
03 was about to slip in when 05 stopped him. He produced a pebble from a pocket and tossed it down. Nothing happened. 05 allowed 03 to proceed. He dropped down silently. 05 followed they looked around and determined that a light source was to their right. They walked silently down the hall. Five feet from the entrance, the light source switched to the other side. Before they could move, red lasers flashed across the hallway. The only way to escape was to break one of them. They didn't want to take that chance.
"Stairwell is clear Prince. Over."
"Acknowledged, Soldier. Over." Prince slid to Soldier's side from the hallway. The stairwell went down what looked like three floors before there was a landing. Prince began going down the stairs, gun drawn and ready.
"No need to be formal. 06 is fine." He smiled and flicked back a lock of hair.
"Only if you call me 09," Soldier said, smiling fondly at him. 06 nodded and did a 'ladies-first' gesture. 09 also drew her gun and they headed down the stairs, looking for tell-tale holes that would mean hidden cameras or weapons.
"Seems clear. Maybe they didn't wire this place." "Knowing them, not likely. Be careful." They had gone halfway down the stairs when a rain of bullets scattered them. 09 leapt over the railing to the next section of stairs and 06 started rolling down the stairs. 09 opened fire on the gun placements. 06 kept rolling until he hit a wall. He stopped and slumped unceremoniously to the ground. 09 took out the rest and hurried to 06's side.
"06?" she shook him gently. He groaned as his eyes fluttered.
02 helped 01 onto the next floor. They looked around. Thousands of 01's and 02's looked back.
"Hall of mirrors," commented 01. 02 grinned and grabbed a few C4 chunks and placed them around the entrance. The descended into the hole and backed up about 50 feet. Then they blew the C4 up.
03 and 05 heard a muffled explosion from the side of the hall that now held the light source. The lasers wavered momentarily and both boys ran/tumbled to the light source. There was a sliding metal cover made of grating on the hole above them. But the lasers were recalibrating themselves. They didn't have much time. They pulled out suction cups for their hands and feet and climbed up the wall. They inspected the grating and determined that it was made of gundamium. There was a small electronic panel.
03 touched the panel.
"Security measure #0003X5(1) implemented. Prepare to give security code." 03 and 05 looked at each other.
"Now what?" hissed 05. Writing appeared on the panel. It was a question that you had to answer. Input the wrong one and...
/You're paddling a canoe down a river and all six wheels fall off. How many pancakes does it take to fill the cat house?/(2)
The cursor blinked as the blinking Dragon cursed. The Clown smiled and began to type.
"06?"asked 09 again, voice filling with worry. He was still slumped. As far as she could tell, 06 was breathing and his heart was beating but he wasn't going anywhere in the near future. Her face hardened as she continued to descend the stairs. The rest of the way seemed clear as she reached the landing. She tried the door and it opened easily. She turned back to bring 06 with her but when she reached the placed he had been laying, he was gone. Shaking her head, she went down the stairs again and through the door.
Glass flew everywhere as the C4 exploded. 01 and 02 however were out of the blast radius. 01 lifted 02 up to look around. Around the hole was a devastated wasteland of shattered glass.
"Sugoi, let's go!" said 02 as he swept an area clear so he could climb up. He pulled 01 with him. The way was mostly clear as they walked to the metal door. They pulled it open and gasped.
//None, because marshmallows don't have bones.// 03 hit the confirm key and the grate slid open.
"How did you...?" asked 05 as 03 slipped in the hole.
"I actually listen to Duo." His feet disappeared in the hole and a hand appeared to help 05 in. They noticed that the ceiling was slanted off to the left with a smaller opening at the end. Then the world turned upside down.
Literally.
The hall was black and white. 09 looked around in awe. The walls were black with white stripes going vertically and horizontally making squares. And black lights were racing each other back and forth... or were they? 09 shook her head and looked at the floor. There was uneven black and white checkering was... disconcerting. She kept stumbling before she realised that it was a trick. Angry and determined, she looked straight ahead. She passed pictures of women- or Eskimos?, vases- or people?, birds flying right- no left? 09 was getting confused. She saw flowers with large and small centres- or were they the same size. 09 began to panic. At the end of the hall was a painting of a stack of blocks.
/Press block eleven,/ said the sign. 09 counted, tilted her head to the side and pressed the block on the bottom right.
Snow. The room was a winter wonderland. It was a lightly wooded area covered in several feet of snow. They weren't exactly dressed for the weather, but nonetheless started forward. They quickly determined that the only way out was a cave 100 metres from them. They started forward doggedly. Then it started to snow.
"AHHHHHHHHH!"
"AHHHHHHHHH!"
Both boys yelled as they impacted into the 'ceiling'- now floor and started sliding. They hit the door of the opening, giving them just enough time to breathe and the door slid open. They started falling in a tight spiral down the tunnel. The end quickly approached. Both managed to get their feet in front of them. A single trapeze was suspended from the ceiling. 03 and 05 both launched themselves towards it. 05 missed.
"Kisamaaaaaaaaaa!" cried 05 as he landed with a splash in the moving liquid below.
"Bye," said 03 sadly as he swung from the trapeze. He pulled himself up to sit on the bar and thought.
"What do I do now?" As if in answer, the trapeze began to rise and a panel opened up in the ceiling.
09 held her breath in anticipation as she waited to find out what would happen next. The picture flipped over and numbers appeared on each of the blocks. The one she pressed was #1. She watched in horror as it declared that the single box on the bottom was number 11. She backed up slightly.
"Oh shi..." she fell through the hole that opened up in the floor and landed with a muffled thump. A panel slid over it, closing her in.
About halfway through the winter room, it began snowing. They ignored this until three quarters of the way though, 02 began to yawn.
"'M tired, 01," he said, eyes drooping.
"Hn," said 01, tugging 02 along with him. He felt nothing. He realised that it might have something to do with the snow.
"Run. There is sleeping powder in the snow," said 01, taking off for the cave.
"Yeah, sure," yawned 02. He ran a few feet and collapsed in a heap. 01 reached the cave and looked back. He saw 02 fall in the snow.
"02!" he yelled.(3) The snow began falling thick and fast, burying 02 in snow so 01 could not see him. Outside the cave became a haze of blinding white and 01 knew he had no choice but to continue deeper into the cave.
03 appeared in a small hole the exact size of his feet. In front of him were fourteen figures shaped like snowmen. They were also white. He looked down at himself and saw that he was wearing a plastic costume similar to the plastic figures in front of him. Lights appeared in four other places around him. In the blue corner were OZ soldiers in identical costumes. Towering over them was a giant Treize Kushrenada. In the red corner were the soldiers of Mariemeia, overshadowed by Dekim Barton. In the black corner was White Fang lead by Quinze. The green and yellow corners held Serpent model mobile suits and Taurus MS's.
"What do I do?" asked 03 in confusion. His 'troops' turned around and saluted him.
"Play the game," said Lady Une. 03 blinked. She smiled at him and adjusted her white plastic cap. "We need to take out the enemy teams," said Heero. "With minimal casualties," he added as an afterthought.
"And pretty fast. White's not my colour," said Duo, tapping his costume.
"You can do it, I have faith in you," said Quatre. He smiled at 03.
"Be careful, I don't want you getting hurt," said Catherine from one of the further corners. She stood in the last row, beside Zechs. Next to him were Noin, Hilde and Sally. The four in the next row, from left to fight were Ralph, Dorothy, Quatre and Relena. Dr. S, Wufei and Lady Une were in the third row and Duo and Heero stood in the row in front of him.
"Ready to play?" asked Ralph.
"What game is this?"
Wufei raised an eyebrow. "Why, Chinese checkers, of course."
01 walked in the pitch black cave. The ceiling was low. It scraped his hair, removing the snow that had accumulated on it. Soft, furtive things brushed against his skin. He ignored them. He kept walking forward as he heard chittering noises. Once again, he ignored them. He could see a small slit of light that he began to walk towards.
"The light you see at the end of the tunnel, is the headlamp of a fast approaching train," intoned a familiar voice.(4)
"Shut up, you are SUPPOSED to be dead," snapped 01. A high pitched screech was his only warning that he was being attacked. He whipped around, gun in hands.
"I am Death, Destroyer of Worlds!"(5)
BAM! BAM! "Yes, well now you're DEAD. Deal with it!" BAM! Squeak! Squish.
"The bats have gone bats!" 01 focused on the attacking mammals. Several flew towards him. He shot each one and it squeaked and died.
"What, ya think you've got to save ammo?"
"Shut up." BAM! BAM! SQUISH!
"Bleed and die, yub yub."(6)
"Do." BAM! "You." BAM! "Ever." BAM, SQUISH! "Shut." SQUEEEEEEESH! "Up?!"
"Nope." The rest of the mammals died more quietly.
"Well, ya got 'em all. Whatcha gonna do now, Pokémon Master?"(7)
"Shut up baka. I'm going into the light." 01 paused and smacked his head with the heel of his palm. I... gave him.... joke material... KAMI!(8)
The baka did not let that go...
"Go into ze light! Go into ze liiiiight! I am the ghost of Duo Maxwell! Beware the Ides of March! Beware the groove! Beware...."(9)
01 shook his head and walked to the opening. It was a panel that was about a finger space open.He pushed the panel to the side. There was a person on the other side.
"You!" yelled 01
"You!" yelled the ghost of Duo Maxwell. -_-;;
The game was a foot. A game piece. A... whatever! Anyway, the game was being played out. Wufei had explained the game to 03 and he understood what to do. The Serpents faced Mariemeia's soldiers and OZ faced the Taurus suits. Leaving 03's team against (you guessed it...) White Fang.
The game was simple. Hop your people over the other people and 'invade' your enemies camp, getting all your people in before your enemy got into yours. It was harder to play with six teams, but it just made things more, how shall I say... interesting.
Every player made the standard first move. 03 moves Zechs out first. The game progressed. 03 was doing pretty well. He figured that if he moved around the outside of the board instead of going straight through, he could get there faster.
About halfway through the game, things started to get nasty. The MS's began opening fire on their opponents and the soldiers fought back. 03 thought he was in trouble. Catherine, Ralph and Dr S had reached the enemy base and waved happily.
Duo and Heero were talking and joking. I mean it. Heero was joking...
"Hey Duo, watch me pull a gun outta my ass." Duo burst out laughing.(10)
"I love that!" snickered Duo. Then a White Fang member opened fire. Duo continued laughing as blood oozed between his teeth.
"Duo!" yelled Heero as he pulled out a full sized Buster rifle and began firing on White Fang. He managed to take out about half of the WF members before a Serpent MS shot him down. Relena pulled two scimitars like the ones Sand Rock had from behind her back and Dorothy snapped out Epyon's whip thing. Sally pulled out a very big syringe that bubbled darkly. And Wufei turned into a dragon. There was lots of yelling and screaming before someone sounding like Noin yelled "Throw the holy hand grenade!"
"Throwing holy hand grenade!" responded- Quatre? A voice that sounded suspiciously like Duo's intoned "Oh Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou may'st blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." and the world disappeared in a flash of white.
"And the Lord did grin-"(11)
"Shut up Duo."
"Yes, me." Pause. "That was melodramatic, what now?" The black cloaked figure shrugged.
"Who are you, why are you doing this?"
"I'm not telling you, even you know that it's me Nul.... damnit!" The black cloaked figure winced.
01 smirked. He pulled his gun out and aimed it at her forehead. She smiled.
"But Hee-" squeaked Duo's ghost.
"You shut up now," said Nul, and he did.
01 raised an eyebrow. He cocked the gun.
"You forgot just one thing, 01."
"And what's that?"
"Always watch your back," she said as 01 fell forward with a small dart embedded in his neck. Nul did a cool turn and flair of the cloak thing but got it tangled around her legs and she fell down.
As 01 sped to unconsciousness, the last thing he heard was "Ow, damnit!"
The words GAME OVER glowed in red before his eyes. He pulled off his VR helmet and his hair sprung around his head.
Trowa, Duo, Wufei, Noin and Zechs were sitting around the room talking. Duo still had his handset out and was whacking it into the soft chair arm.
"Why... won't... you... Oh, hi Hee-chan." Duo grinned and waved with his free hand. Meanwhile Wufei and Zechs were discussing the events of the day.
"You missed the trapeze. You suck!" exclaimed Zechs at last.
"Oh yeah, well you rolled down the stairs and hit a wall. At least I lasted to the third challenge. Take that Froggie!"(12)
"Froggie, eh?" said Zechs, arching a platinum eyebrow.
"Canadian, eh?" said Duo, making an identical face.
"Shut up Yank."
"Yank? Do I want to know?" said Nul as she and Quatre walked in the door, followed by Lady Une and Sally.
"I confoosed," said Trowa, doing this really cute 'I don't get it' thing. Quatre crossed over to him and cuddled him.
"Well, the simulator is extremely realistic. It should be an excellent learning tool. But what was the deal... with... the... Maxwell, what are you doing?" Lady Une looked behind her as an innocent Duo blinked at her. She shook her head and continued talking. "Why were parts of the simulator so.. unreal...is...tic. Maxwell STOP IT!" She glared at the braided boy who gave his best innocent-but-guilty-as-sin look. She shook her head and looked at the controllers.
"Well, it was decided that the best way to confuse some one is to throw them off balance."
"No kidding," said Noin, flipping back her bangs back and trying not to laugh. Duo was standing behind Lady Une and saying "Lurk. Lurk." every three seconds until it began to drive the Lady nutso.(13)
"Um, going over the whole thing, Duo and Heero were in the hallway with the motion sensing gun emplacements. The smart ones. Then they got into the mirror hall. Had they done it the CONVENTIONAL way," here Nul glared at Duo who blinked innocently and resumed 'lurking' behind Lady Une.
"If you had WANTED us to do it the conventional way, you wouldn't of given us C4." *ignore*
"The panels would have slid back and forth at random moments. The winter scene was, yes Heero, to make you sleep and the cave was to test your accuracy. Duo, who SHOULD have been out of the game was wondering about ammo limitations. You had two bullets for every bat."
Quatre smiled at Trowa and stroked his hair. "Your challenges were different. The first challenge was a hallway laced with motion sensors. The lasers meant you set them off. Were it not for the explosion, you would have had to walk across the ceiling. The password was set up by Nul. I still don't get it..."
"It's not supposed to make sense, it's something you say to people to find out if they are still listening. Then you set off the gravity controls."(14)
"You did that on purpose,"(15) said Wufei, glaring. Sally gave him a sympathetic look. Wufei felt better.
"Mebbe..." said Nul, doing Duo's innocent-but-not look. "Then you showed off your agility. I kinda knew that Wufei wouldn't survive that part."
"You dumped me in a river of RED KOOL AID!!!!!" yelled Wufei. Sally gave him a tiny injection and he calmed down, fast.
"That's what confused me, " said Trowa. "But how did they get to the board?"
"They didn't," said Nul, raising her eyebrows in an Vincent Price like way.(16)
"Buh?"
"Well, we just made images of them to help you play. You were doing really well until the weapons showed up..."
"Why do you think Duo and Heero were joking together. TO-GE-THER."
"Ah. And Relena and Dorothy????"
"That was just fun."
"As for Noin and" pause "Froggie, the stairs were just fun. I really thought you'd both make it out of that one. The jumping down the stairs thing was cool. The hitting the wall and passing out thing was not."
"The hallway of hell was nasty," said Noin. She still felt vaguely ill.
"Those were all optical illusions. If you see them in less concentrated areas, they are pretty neat."
"But LIME JELLO?"
"Well...." a look of disturbed realisation dawned on Nul's face. "How did you know that?"
"Well I kinda got hungry and..."
"Oh, yuck."
"So, what did everybody think?"
"Shooting bats is fun."
"I wanna make a snowman!" "I didn't think that there were hand grenades in Chinese checkers..."
"Hallways that flip over are EVIL!"
"Stupid...fricken...stairway..."
"Well, it was only one taste..."
"Well, Lady Une, what did you think?"
"It.... was.... very... DUOMAXWELLIFYOUDON'TSTOPTHATIWILLDRAGYOUDOWNTOHADESAND LEAVEYOUTHERE!!!" Lady Une's face was cherry red as Duo merely shrugged and said, "Been there, done that, got the T-shirt."
Lady Une kinda collapsed from the injection that Sally gave her. She and Wufei sat on the couch next to each other looking really out of it.
"Really?" asked Quatre. Duo nodded and pulled out a T-shirt that said 'DUO WUZ HERE' in bright red. In brackets underneath it said Hades. On the back were the signatures of 'Hades' and 'Persephone' that scintillated.
Elsewhere....
"Hey, do you remember that Duo kid that visited us once?" asked Hades of his lady Persephone.
"You mean Shinigami? He was such a nice boy. I wonder what happened to him?"
The VR room...
Duo winks at you and glomps Heero.
The End
Gwynn 'VR author' Whitelock
Ye Gods, the footnotes! the footnotes!
1. Cute, ne?
2. This is one of those 'say it to see if they are really listening' things.
3. Picture the scene from SW#5, in the swamp when R2D2 gets swallowed by the swamp thing and he yells "R2!" That's the way I pictured Heero yelling that.
4. The "The light(...)" thing is the sample for the voice 'Bad News' on our Sound Editor
5. Is this the right quote from some game? Ides??
6. Book 7 or 8 of the X-Wing series (SW)
7. Gotta kill 'em all (obscure Pokémon reference)
8. Poltergeist, the movie... 1 or 2...
9. Ides; Emperors New Groove
10. Rocky and Bullwinckle (Rocky; rabbit; hat)
11. the whole 'holy hand grenade' thing is from Monty Python: Quest for the Holy Grail...
12. Ides thinks that Zechs sounds like he swallowed a frog...
13. Physh did this to Ides...
14. (not intentionally) based of the hallway in Ocarina of Time (Zelda)
15. Cheesy French accent (Sinfest)
16. Spooky guy who did the voiceovers for B-rated horror movies.
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