The Army Men franchise always seemed like the perfect vehicle for a real-time strategy game; unfortunately it took the series several lukewarm missions to get there. Regretfully, Army Men RTS’s cleverly conceived combat units and resource system are quickly overrun by deadlier forces: lackluster controls and frustrating gameplay. As the armchair commander of the Green Army, you employ a simple point-and-click interface to guide your tiny troops across toy battlefields in a campaign to defeat the Tan Army. You build structures, assemble weapons, train troops, and essentially try to blow your enemy into tiny plastic pieces. Sure, it sounds fun. But commanding is one thing, controlling is another, and RTS is rife with problems that range from the extreme difficulty of selecting individual units to enemies that remain shrouded in darkness until you’re far too close to their position. The visuals perform better—especially the detailed carnage of melting bodies and various explosions. As for sounds, the action’s accompanied by a repetitive pseudo-patriotic beat, low-key sound effects, and occasional quips from the troops. In all, Army Men RTS had the potential to be the best game in the series—which admittedly isn’t saying much. As it is, it looks and sounds ready for action, but it’s quickly wounded by friendly fire.
