Storie 1 This happend a long time ago in a far away galaxy. Well actually it happend about two miles from my house. But it is all the same you know. Anyways i was going to my girlfriends house after school like i did on most days. So i show up and wait inside the house waiting for my girlfriend to get home because my school gets out before hers ha ha. Isnt it great that my school gets out so much earlier then hers? When she gets home she walks in and starts talking to her mom and basically ignores me. So she sits down on the couch and i go to sit by her. I try to hold her hand but quickly she gets up and starts playing with one of the kids that is there. Her mom runs a babysitting place. She babysits this one kid that is 3 but can lift me up with one hand. The first time i met him i was like oh my god its super baby just like bam bam from the flinstones. Then there is this kid that loves to headbutt everybody. It is a fascinating place. So i try again and still she goes away from me. Now im a smart guy but this was the first time this girl had ever done this. I didnt even realize anything was wrong. (I must be stupid.) So i just sat around and played with the daycare kids. Then when i was leaving she would always walk me to my car but today she didnt seem to want to yet i persuaded her to in the end. So we are at my car and i try to get a goodbye kiss right and she avoids it for a little bit and then finally kisses me. (No warning sign there.) Later that night when i get home she calls for like the third time ever because she never liked to call anyone. (This should have been a hint.) I am in the middle of lifting weights so i asked if i could talk to her later on the internet. So that night i get on and she says Matt we need to talk. My reply was the witty remark "oh shit". She went on to tell me that she just hated everyone now and that it wasnt my fault but she didnt want to date anyone. (My fisrt thought was B.S.) Now i know i should have expected that from earlier that day but i was completly unprepared. (Like a guitar player that is supposed to perform for millions of people but doesnt own or know how to play a damn thing on the guitar). What the hell. That was the worst feeling i could ever remember having. My whole body began to tremble as i walked upstairs to say goodnight to my parents. By the time i got upstairs my body was shaking so bad that i had to hold the wall to stay standing up. (If i would have taken a picture i would have looked like walking jello.) I had already lost my sisters by this time and i thought that this girl was gods way of making it up to me. Obviously i was wrong. Damn! the moral of this story is to always hope for the best but expect the worst just incase. Always you must be prepared for anything life may throw your way. It is just like when you are batting at a baseball game, Because you never know when a hard ball is going to come out of nowhere and make you hurt like hell. Storie 2 It all started one day after it had stopped raining and the sun came out and it got so hot out that you could almost fry an egg on your forhead if you wanted. Well it was rather hot at least. So there i was walking down the street and i turn the corner and there in the middle of the road is a crowd of people with two huge half men-gorilla things were wrestiling in the street. I stopped to watch for a minute and found that these creatures were very skilled fighters. They were strong and fast and had some skill of the finer martial arts. From what i could tell they were evenly matched and then the one jumped straight up and did a double backflip that must have been at least 23.785 feet in the air and came down with a kick that sent the other flying out of sight and so a victory was declared to the one left in sight. He roared out ha ha i am invincible and this made me very mad so i said i will fight you beast and without heasitation i ripped off my shirt to show my muscular upper body. I stepped into the ring and the judge said go and before i could blink i was being held above this giants head like i was nothing. My first thought as it usually is when being held ten foot off the ground by large beasts is oh shit what have i gotten myself into now. He threw me into the ground and broke every bone in my body but i am a very persistent kid. So i stood up and said wow that hurt. How i was able to stand up i do not know for surly i should have been paralized for life with having every bone being broken. Now i was however very confident that i had this fight won for there was nothing else that could be done to cause me any more pain then i was already in. I walked right up to him and said mr you are going down and he stood there and laughed a horrifing laugh that would make a normal man pee himself but not me because i was very pissed off. (Hang on a second when i say i walked up to him i meant i sorta had several people drag me up to him.) Then i focused all of my strength into my pointer finger and flicked the big guy in the forhead and just like david and goliath this big guy fell over dead as if he had been shot. Then this little greenish-brownish-blackish elf thing came and gave me magical water that he said would heal me. Well he was telling the truth my bones meanded instantly and i didnt feel any pain. I was so happy that i told this merry little elf that i loved him. He said well here is what i think about love. Then he used my quote and said "Love is a perky little elf doing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniture machine gun." Since it was my quote i ran the hell out of there as soon as i realized what was about to happen and sure enough the elf pulled out a miniture machine gun which was twice as big as him because he was so tiny but it was to heavy for him so he just had to shoot the ground then i came back took the gun and slapped him and said thats bad then i ate the gun so noone could use it ever again and i went home happy and full. BY THE WAY THAT STORY IS TRUE. Storie 3 Holy shit that is freaky. Please dont look at me like that. Ill give you anything you want if you will stop looking at me with that evil evil stare. That same evil stare was the cause of a massacre in a school south of psycoville U.S.A. That boys teacher one day assigned him way to much homework and he got really pissed off and his face just turned into a thing that radiated pure evil. Everyone he looked at with that evil look of his fell over dead instantly. I know what your thinking. How can somones look kill other people? Well it cant really but the boy with the evil look also had a very messed up life. Both of his beloved sisters were killed in a car wreck and since then he has had these evil and horrifing images constantly going through his brain. He has no idea how to get rid of these aweful images and it seems noone can help him. but then one day a girl came along and this boy thought that god had sent this girl to make all his problems better and for four wonderful months everything was great. Then he got dumped and has never been the same happy person that he was once. In fact he is rather pissy and crazy but brilliant nontheless. Once again there has to be a main point to this story that is unclear and that makes no sense with the story. So the main idea that i want you to get from this is never steal a boy with an evil looks food or you might be sorry. I need to go to bed although it wilt notith mattith becauseith he shalt havth no luckith sleeping anyways. I think i need to work on my old english a little better before trying to use it. New Storie 11/21/04 I fricken freezing in this room said the two headed waitress in the middle of a snowbank with nothing on but a thong. and im like u might be freexing but u look good or well your left face and ur body does. Whod did the makup on ur right face? That is really rather nasty. I will eat you alive for that. Really? cool ive always wanted to be eaten alive to see how long it takes to be eaten. Do you really think you can eat me without getting full? or will u have to eat half of me now and half later? to be truthful im just sitting here at my computer being really cold and not feeling very well. And sarah just got online and it bugs the shit out of me everytime someone talks about her or when i see her name. Why does it bug me?> that is a question for the gods for not even mighty lord neal of ireland could answer that one. though i have little doubt that he would try to answer it anyways. anyways the lady with two heads was to slow to catch me so she never got to try and eat me alive and to this very day she is stuck in that snowbank trying to decide if she could have eaten me whole or not.
