To say that we go through stress during deployments, TDYs, and hardship tours is an understatement. These situations are very stressful and how we deal with them can make all the difference in the world! Stress is pressures from everyday living, and extreme situations as well, that make us feel tense inside. Symptoms of stress can include - tight neck and shoulders; headaches; upset stomach; fatigue; rashes; teeth grinding; chest pain; and more. Stress can result in feelings of depression, anger, apathy, low self-esteem and impatience among others. Stress can cause overeating, smoking, drinking, forgetfulness, and other problems.
Some stress is a part of daily life and can be good for us. It keeps us on our toes, but too much stress and you can be miserable. If you allow stress to build up it can interfere with your daily activities. Knowing its symptoms and signs is the first step to dealing with stress.
One of the most common and main cause of stress is change. Too many or too drastic changes often result in high levels of stress. Some major stressors include - personal loss; job changes; money problems; illness; injury; moving; marriage or divorce; loneliness; commuting; pregnancy; lack of time; retirement and so forth.
You can do a lot to help your situation and deal with the stress.
See your doctor and make sure there is not an underlying medical condition. Speak with your doctor about a healthy diet and excercise. They will both help you deal with stress. Also make sure you get enough rest. Stress can cause illnesses due to your system being "run down." Headaches and sore back muscles can come from stress. Try deep breathing exercises, stretches and over the counter medications such as Tylenol and Aspirin. (Ask your doctor about medications first to make sure they are compatable with any other medications you may be taking.)
Talk things over with a friend or family member. Sometimes just talking about the problems make them seem a lot smaller and not as stressful. Write about your stress in a journal. When you go back and reread things you just may realize it wasn't as bad as you thought! You can also speak with a Chaplain or Priest,a counselor at your FSC or ACS, or check in the yellow pages for someone. Your doctor could also refer you to someone.
Take a break! A change of pace, no matter how short, gives you a new outlook on old problems. Sit down and have a cup of tea, enjoy a program on tv, do a craft you enjoy, take a quick walk around the neighborhood. Just give yourself a little break and then go back to your work.
Plan your work so that you do not have tons of things to do at the last minute of the day. Be realistic and do not set goals that are too lofty. Better to set smaller goals and accomplish them than to set high goals that are unattainable!
If you are able to recognize stressors in your life you can avoid or minimize them. Stress is a fact of life and the more you know about and understand it the better you will be able to deal with stress.
Some Ways to Deal With Stress Associated With Children
Tell your child you need a break. Count to ten, go to another room for a few minutes. If your child is an infant or toddler - put him or her in a safe place first! Go into another room, close the door and let it out - cry, scream, yell. Lie on a couch or bed, put your feet up, and place a cool cloth on your forehead. Take deep breaths and imagine a peaceful scene. Lie there for at least 5 minutes. (Be careful not to fall asleep though if you have kids you are watching.) Call someone who cares about you and understands what you're going through. If your child(ren) take naps, use that quiet time to pamper yourself. Take a long bath, a hot shower, read, do your nails, whatever relaxes you. Change your daily routine occasionally. Visit a friend, watch a special show on tv, take a walk. Do something physical. Physical activity is good for you and your children. It lets off steam and it's free ! Things to Do to Stop Worrying
Discuss your problems with a friend. Schedule worry sessions. Talk positively to yourself. Keep a journal. Don't blame others for your feelings. Press the "delete button" on needless worries. Forgive yourself. Look for the lessons your troubles bring. Focus on others, not yourself. From my own personal experience, might I suggest that you add they get involved in their Wives Support Group because then they can commiserate with women going through exactly what they are, in a lot of instances, and it will help the time go by faster by providing them with safe, fun outlets for their stress! :) Cindy, Navy Spouse
Two words - lists and priority! I've always been a list maker, but until the past few years I never prioritized the items on the lists. I like this breakdown: 1) URGENT; must be done today or no one will eat, wear clothes, drive (no gas), etc..;2) Important; do today if there's time, but can certainly wait for a few days or more. This is the category of laundry when everyone still has clean clothes. 3) Want; these are the things that you want to do, but are neither urgent or important; such as alphabetize your files! Get the idea? The listing will be different for everyone and the way you categorize things will change; however, the idea is the same. Mary, Navy Spouse
Don't take on TOO MUCH! Learn to say NO! This includes your children's activities! It is good to keep busy while your active duty loved one is away, but know when to say when! The most common factor in creating and overly busy mom are too many extra curricular activities in the child's life. (This can also be a stress factor for kids).If you are too busy to find time to maintain your basic daily life necessities, eating, bathing, sleeping, house hold chores, on a consistent basis, you are TOO busy! Try limiting everyone in the household to two extra curricular activities, the two they love most. Try to work out a doable schedule that includes car pooling with other busy moms too. And remember, No means No! Kathleen, Army Spouse
DO NOT BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP AND KNOW YOUR LIMITS! My husband was deployed for three weeks earlier this year and I had to do the lawn myself. We live on base and it's a major stress right before inspection day. I had to find a babysitter for our fourteen month old so I could do the lawn! When my husband told me a few weeks later later that he was being deployed for 120 days during the summer, I told him that doing the lawn each week was simply too much on top of everything else! He told his supervisor and his unit stepped right in to help out. Each week a different person comes over and does the lawn. Find out if a church in your area has a Mommy's Day Out. Sometimes you pay a fee, but it's usually pretty reasonable. You drop your kids off at the church for activities and fun and go and get errands done or just take a well-needed rest. Also, don't forget that a lot of bases have a "Give Parents a Break" program -- check with the first shirt or the FSC for details. Sharon, Spouse
During this last school I have found that my computer has become invaluable to keep in contact with my husband. If you have one and your spouse has the resource available too, use it. The ablity to email him every day and talk to him using ICQ ( an instant message service)has made this the least stressful separation we have had.Now if we just knew where the Army is sending him to recruit. : ) S.C. Rankin, Army Spouse
For those families who are not aware of it already, there is a wonderful book out entitled "Dads at a Distance". It is FULL of wonderful ideas for helping Dads keep the bond between them and their children during TDY, deployment, etc. Though it is published with Dads in mind I think it would also be great for Moms, spouses, etc. DM Kreis
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