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Though a busy schedual hindered the likely-hood of our interview, Howard Dean, was willing to do anything to make himself look good after he recent bombardment of critisizem.
So sit back and watch in awe as I face Howard Dean, One on One!!
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Howard Dean: Howdy kiddo!!(Dean enters by running in and shaking my hand vigoriously)
Solid Gold: Why hello, umm Mr. Dean, please have a seat.
HD: Why sure!! (Though he made no motion to sit and stood swaying back-and-forth)
SG: Ummm ok well now. Why do you think most of the canidates focus their negativity on you?
HD: Well they jus wanna bring Howie D down! Cause they know Howie D is thier worst enemy!!
SG: Now wait a minuite . . .do you call yourself "Howie D" in the third person?
HD: Howie D, does what Howie D has to do.
SG: Ok the . . .(It was at this time I realized that "Howie" had a Botle of "Colt 45" in his other hand. Note: This is 8am) Sir is that a 40 of Colt 45 in your hand?
HD: Maybe.
SG: I did'nt know you were a morning drinker.
HD: So what if Howie D is? What the F**K are you gonna do about it, C**K nibbler?
SG: Oh now wait a minute . . .I did'nt come here to defend my sexuality, Mr. Dean. You are. . .
HD: The F**K'n BOMB Diggity! Thats what Howie D is!!
SG: Whoa now!! Mr. Dean obsenities are now way to win the presidency!
HD: Presidency?!!? That what you think this is about?!?!? It ain't about that, you stupid S**T monkey!!
SG: I figured that was what you are after yes. . .
HD: HA!! The presidency is only a trophy I keep in my den as a PAPER F**K'n WEIGHT!!! My plans are much deeper than your pi** brain can concieve. Yes I will become presedent, but that is not the end, when I get in office I will make Russia my BI**H!! Then Japan will do their little Jap bow right into the sweet knee of JUSTICE!!! The UK will have their lil' tea party in a pool of their own waste after they realize the power that has become the USFA!!
SG: USFA? Whats the "F" for . .oh dear God. . .
HD: United States of F**K'n America!!
SG: Figures. Yet you did'nt mention Canada. . .
HD: CANADA?!? F**K'N CANADA?!?!?!? Canada is nothing but a zit on my back that my wife pops at night!! (Takes his coat off and throws it to the floor. and at this time I notice that a Desert Eagle .50 was tucked into his pants.)
SG: WHOA!! Ladies and gentleman Howard Dean!! Goodbye please leave now, please!
HD: Waite Howie D always get's the last word.
SG: Shoot. . .NO wait don't shoot!!
HD: Hey John Pu**y wear'n Kerry . . .just because you won the Caucus don't mean nothing!!! The Caucus don't mean nothing!! You can lick my Caucus!! Vote for Howard Dean!! YEEAHHH!!!
(At this time I ran out and locked my self in my bahtroom.)
