Title: 34 Shame 1995
Size: 30" x 40"
Description: Mixed Media Collage on canvas
Comments: The portrait is a model out of a magazine. I try to take all the “masks” of beauty off and look at the emotional and spiritual emptiness in the inside. The painting becomes a portrait of women, my church, and me. I have come to the conclusion that most of the time without me knowing it, it’s always about me emotionally and spiritually. So the question I ask myself is what the motive is in my good works. Is it because of shame and guilt that I even go to church? Is it a cultural thing? Or is it motivated out of grace. The love from God that releases me of my shame and replaces that shame with forgiveness and mercy and acceptance. Above my head is a dragon. Symbolizing the harassment of the voices or demons that try to convince me that I’m not a child of God. These voices continue to harass me to tell me I’m not good enough, or that I’m stupid to think that I can ever gain Gods favor. But then I’m reminded of the scripture in the Bible that states that God loved the world so much he gave his only son to us so that we might live free from guilt and shame. That is truly good news for me.