Overheard at Team Stumpy Events...

April 22-24, 2005 ROAD AMERICA, ELKHART LAKE, WI

• “Oh, you’re THAT guy!” – Stumpy
• “Let’s get out the flamethrower!” – Mark
• “It’s like Team Stumpy on steroids” – Rob
• “Ever see me lift a bike over a tire wall?” – Trent
• “Did you see that Ed Key?” – Grandma Peg
• “We’re not going for style here.” – Stumpy
• “OBVIOUSLY, you don’t know who I am.” – Stumpy
• “I wear this hat cross-country skiing, snowshoeing and to Road America.” - Heather
• “While I was riding your scooter, people kept giving me the finger!” – Mike Hall
• “Who is this man?” – Sam commenting on the CCS Midwest schedule cards
• “Put ‘get well soon’ so I can look at it later if I need it.” – Dave Daniels instruction for Stumpy’s autograph
• “I can’t catch a break!” – Stumpy

August 28-29, 2004 BLACKHAWK FARMS RACEWAY, SOUTH BELOIT, IL

• "I'm locked up..they don't let me out...noooo" - Heather & Stumpy
• "You just tell them 'I'm going to get Heather!'" - Stumpy's Dad to Stumpy when his pre-registration was "lost" by CCS
• "You did two perfect sommersaults!" - Spectator on Stumpy turn five crash
• "No wheelies on the back strait, guys...Jan's workin'!" - Heath
• "Obviously these Michelin rain tires rock!" - Stumpy in his interview after finishing 3rd in the GTU after crashing
• "Do the wave!" - The crazy race spectators at turn five
• "I've got two Sprees in the trailer--oh, hi dad." - Jesse Janisch regarding the pit bike race
• "You can't be in the crash club if you pass us back after you crash!" - Dan Ortega
• "I was helpin' Tommy!" - Stumpy--in trouble again after the rider's meeting
• "Stumpy! Where's Stumpy! I'm ready for my Ci-Gar!" - Larry
• "He down! He's up! He's down! He's hurt! He's up! He's ok! He flopped over the wall! DO YOU WANT THE F4i?!!!!! Is that a yes? He's giving the thumbs down! He broke his elbow! Nope, he's bending it. Is that a no? HE SAID YES! LET'S GO PUT ON THE NUMBERS!" - Team Stumpy in the stands at turn one
• "Why are they all just standing there waving their arms?" - Stumpy on the other side of turn one after the fall
• "We need better hand signals." - Heather
• "The Honda windshield finally broke." - Heather

July 17-18, 2004 BLACKHAWK FARMS RACEWAY, SOUTH BELOIT, IL

• “It’s 2:30 am at home!” - Stumpy
• “I can’t believe you had an outfit delivered to the track. Oh, it’s Alpinestars. Never mind.” - Edgar
• “I don’t know what to tell ya. Blackhawk doesn’t have potholes or walls. I had to go to your stupid tracks!” - Stumpy to a Great Plains racer
• “Don’t you hit me if you lap me!” - Ike
• "It's a bleacher full of yoopers!" - Heather
• "Why doesn't he put his knee down?" - The main topic of conversation
• “Stumpy! Where’s Stumpy? Stumpy, I heard you had cigars—gimme one!” - Larry
• “Ok, now we want 1:12s.” - Heather
• “GOOOOOO!” - Heather to Stumpy after he fell in turn one
• “Your mom waves at me every time I go by!” - Stumpy
• “I hardly recognized you with only one beer!” - Stumpy to Sam

July 3-4, 2004 MID-AMERICA MOTORPLEX, IOWA

• “That’s not a signature, that’s an autograph.” - Stumpy observing who signed the entry waiver before him.
• “The board!” - Mike Hall (Brian’s dad) as he dove out of the motorhome to rescue his pit board from certain death due to rain
• “It sounds like a freight train!!!!” - Super Dave
• "It's Benji!" - Heather with no contacts regarding Kwan Liu
• “Try to keep it together!” - Johnson to Mr. Hafner as he investigated the great generator scandal
• “Well let’s just look at this backed-in tire.”Robbie Jensen
• “Back of the line, Larry!” – Mike Hall
• “That damn waterskiing, bmxing racer!” - Johnson
• “Stumpy pick up your jaw!” - Edgar Dorn
• “Tell him to quit flirting with the girls, goddammit.” - Mike Hall
• “I yi yi yi yi yi yi yi!” - The Expert Jihad
• “Do you have mosquitoes in Michigan?” - Brian Johnson
• “The bike had to go pee pee” - Stumpy to a curious kid
• “Get back in the trailer!” - Heather to Brian Johnson as he chased her in his brand new from Walmart bikini underwear
• “I prefer the generator to Metallica.” - Heather
• “I might be getting tired.” - Stumpy before race 14 of 16
• “Guess I’m not tired yet.” - Stumpy after his fastest laps yet that weekend.
• “Ok, that’s what I’m used to now.” - Heather after the super-duper pit stop performed by Lithium Motorsports
• “Go behind that truck!” - CCS official to Stumpy on where to go for a bathroom break on a back-to-back race
• “16 for 16!” - Stumpy

June 20, 2004 HEARTLAND PARK, TOPEKA

• "It's always been my dream to stay at the Flying J!" - Stumpy
• "Wanna take a shower with me?" - Johnson on the CB
• "Is that quick-crete?" - Jason Brummels
• "You're factory!" - Stumpy to Brian Johnson
• "I was having some set up problems. Well, the axle was falling out of the front wheel." - Stumpy explaining why he came in so early in practice
• "Someone stole the trailer!" - Stumpy in his sleep
• "Dude, you're squishing your cat! You've got your cat in between your legs!" - Johnson in his sleep
• "I'm gonna find me a big, fat momma..." - CCS Larry's wake up song on the PA
• "First expert win!" - Heather after the GTU
• "Second expert win!" - Heather after the GTO
• "Rains or DOTs?" - Stumpy
• "I got hit by a bird!" - Johnson
• "Why is his face purple?" - Brian Johnson regarding Ryan Johnson after practice
• "The cornerworker is wearing a jet pack!" - Stumpy
• "It's the eye of the tiger, it's the king of the fight..." - Brian Johnson's CD player
• "There's Jonny Moore!" - Team Stumpy
• "You always do." - Jonny Moore when Johnson told him he looked at him go by as he fell in the race
• "We'll drive to Des Moine." - Stumpy
• "We'll drive to South Beloit." - Stumpy
• "We'll drive home." - Stumpy
• "So far on this trip I've hit three birds and one deer." - Johnson
• "They shorted me two plaques and they're my favorite red ones, too." - Stumpy

MAY 16, 2004 GATEWAY INTERNATIONAL RACEWAY

• "Where's the arch?" - Stumpy
• "There's one piece of heresay that we've finally found out is true. You do get trashed at the Budweiser tour." - Johnson
• "Sir! Sir! Where's Hooters?!!!" - Heather out the window of the motorhome
• "I remembered I hid a pack of Caramel Delight Girl Scout cookies in my spares bin." - Stumpy explaining why he ran out of the motorhome at 3:00 a.m.
• "OOOOOKKAYYYYY" - Team Stumpy Lil Jon Style
• "I don't like Blackhawk. Well, I got bit by a dog there." - Mr. Hafner
• "Ok Stumpy, I have to help you...I'm catching you on my SV!" - Kevin Clark
• "You're not getting the kid back 'til I get a truckload of H2s!" - Stumpy after kidnapping Mitch's kid
• "We're two peas in a pod!" - Brian Johnson referring to Ryan Johnson
• "I was riding one-handed wheelies while drinking a beer and wearing a sumo-wrestler suit on my fiddy!" - Johnson upon arriving back to the motorhome at 4:00 am
• "VP$" - Stumpy's Pitboard
• "I hate this track!" - Stumpy after his 5th in the GTU
• "Are we done yet?" - Stumpy after race two
• "I'm in don't-toss-it mode. This is like a Sunday drive." - Stumpy hating on Gateway some more
• "I still hate this track." - Stumpy after getting 2nd place in Heavyweight Superbike
• "Good thing you got wood here because you're not going to anymore!" - Heather
• "Is this guy for real!" - Stumpy while CCS Larry decides to sing songs on the PA after the races
• "Good riddance." - Team Stumpy to Gateway on the way out

MAY 8-9, 2004 BLACKHAWK FARMS

• "We're home!" - Team Stumpy pulling into Blackhawk
• "I need to watch the weather." - Stumpy in his sleep at 3:00 am Saturday morning
• "Benji just flipped off my husband!" - Heather watching the Benji & Stumpy show in the carousel during practice
• "Who's number 256? That was hilarious" - The poor guy who followed the Benji & Stumpy show
• "Holy stoppie!" - Heather watching Stumpy at turn one in the GTU
• "Sketchyyyyy" - Johnson
• "Where's Johnson?" - Team Stumpy after Johnson didn't come back from his practice session
• "Freight Train!" - Stumpy in Middleweight Superbike
• "Scetcharooooo!" - Johnson
• "I was against my son racing and now I'm running off to buy him parts so he can fix his bike and race some more! I'm enabling him!" - Johnson's Mom
• "If it's this hot tomorrow, we'll have bra and panty day at Blackhawk." - Aunt Judy
• "Did I tell you about my frame sliders?" - Johnson
• "That's nice Yamaha gave you a free jacket with your piano." - Stumpy to Robbie Jensen
• "What do you think they eat at a Polish guy's birthday party? Polish sausage! It was good, too!" - Stumpy
• "Mother Nature has shown up at Blackhawk on Mother's Day." - PA Announcer Griff Allen
• "I didn't know if fell off until it got stuck in the chain and locked up the rear wheel." - Stumpy explaining how he pulled his dangling shock reservoir up and stuck it under his leg
• "He slowed down to 1:18 at that point." - Heather
• "Sketch-a-ramaaaa!" - Johnson
• "There's a turtle in Turn 1!" - Stumpy
• "Team Stumpy's going to have character development time today" - Heather after the radiator fan decided it was done for the day
• "Will all the wood fit in the underwear drawer?" - Johnson
• "What a sketcharooski." - Johnson

SEPTEMBER 6 & 7 BLACKHAWK FARMS

• "Smells like hormones!" - Heather
• "There he is, Ahhhh!" - Heather showing Woody Stumpy for the first time on the track as he saves a big highside
• "No brakes, no tires..." - Heather & Woody watching Stumpy in practice.
• "He's never had an incident in front of me and now he's had two." - Heather following Stumpy's first practice session
• "I almost took out Stumpy!" - AM#911 Harley Davidson Wannabe Yahama!
• "If he doesn't believe you, Stumpy has an on-board camera." - Cornerworker regarding a rider breaking some rule
• "Take a picture, quick!" - Everyone regarding Benji's shiney new bike
• "The RR has a special suspension wing that adjusts on the center mount exhaust--we call it reload." - Stumpy
• "Dude, 8 laps and the f'in thing is shagged!" - Woody
• "We've made a change." - Stumpy after putting on Michelins
• "Benji's going to pee his pants." - Heather regarding the tire change
• "Sorry, Andy. The Michelin's are hookin' up." -Stumpy
• "Tomorrow I'm going to drop the hammer." - Stumpy
• "Who's that big guy that doesn't lean?" - Jen
• "A Swiss Screw Machine!" - Heather
• "Gerd the Turd...He's on my left...He's on my right!" - The Benji & Stumpy Guitar/Accordian Show
• "It's kind of like your perfect circle." - Meghan
• "Benji." - Aunt Judy when asked who left Stumpy's mom & dad's hotel room at 6:00 am
• "Aunt Judy kept Benji out 'til 3:00 am and now he's sick!" - Stumpy
• "I always say 'hey' after everything on Monday after a race weekend with you." - Brian Johnson
• "Something's got to change." - Brian Johnson
• "There's no way he can out-brake him in one." - Heather regarding Stumpy out-braking #187
• "He stuffed him!" - Heather after Stumpy out-broke #187 in one
• "Wood for every race!" - Stumpy
• "When I saw the wood was red, I knew I wanted a lot of it." - Stumpy
• "Welcome aboard!" - Tom Mason
• "I hate saying goodbye." - Stumpy

AUGUST 23-24 BLACKHAWK FARMS

• "You've got new graphics!" - Meghan Stiles
• "MmmmmHmmmm...Oh Boy..." -Stumpy in his sleep after his first day on the new RR
• "Snnazzle!" - Steve-O
• "Wait your turn!" - CCS Registration Lady to Stumpy who was trying to highjack the sign in sheet
• "This is my last trick of my show..." - J.J. on his scooter
• "No ass play!!!" - Benji
• "Why does he have toilet paper in his nose?" - Everyone
• "What do you think of your son's c*&k - Benji yelling again
• "I can do a perfect circle!" - Heather
• "No bun, just napkin." - SuperDave regarding his turkey burger
• "God loves a Honda." - Heather during blessing of the bike
• "Two wheels on the ground please." - Race Official to Stumpy
• "Can we put nasty notes in Benji's wood?" - Stumpy & Heather
• "Pit bike race, 5:30, carousel, be there..." - J.J.
• "I'll bring the umbrella." - Heather
• "Sold for $100!" - Gordon Lunde as Stumpy won Zemke's boots and gloves at the Wegman Fund auction
• "Shutup, you're too loud!" - Steve-O
• "That's yooooouuu!" - Steve-O to Stumpy when the 600RR shirt came up for auction
• "Stumpy's railin'!" - Many people
• "Did you see my wheelie?" - Stumpy

MAY 30 - JUNE 1 BLACKHAWK FARMS

• "The tornado should be here at 6:30 p.m." - Dawn
• "We're gonna die at Blackhawk Farms." - Heather
• "I'm not hanging out by a urinal." - Marti
• "It's more like a trough." - Heather
• "I hope I don't get a leech." - Heather in the aftermath of the storm in the pits
• "A deer just gave birth on turn 4." - Stumpy
• "Green flag - the afterbirth is cleaned up." - Another rider
• "I'll betcha my wife's cookies are better than your wife's cookies." - Stumpy
• "It takes me 3 hours." - Casper
• "Your hair is sooooo hot." - K3
• "Amber low-sided the fiddy!" - Stumpy
• "Don't laugh at me!" - Amber
• "That guy's a millionaire!" - Stumpy
• "Get 'em Greg, Heather need new shoooooes." - Heather
• "They asked me who the President was and I didn't know..." - Kevin Gordon just back from the hospital after a very nasty ride into the woods
• "Oh look, Red brought his own table." - Heather & Marti
• "And chairs too..." - Heather & Marti
• "Who's got the deuce trey, I know you got it, put it down!" - Red
• "Twelve!!!!" - Heather
• "Do you have any real beer?" - Ike
• "This weekend I'm turning it up a notch." - Pierre
• "I was almost decapitated." - Stumpy
• "Well I just fell off the top bleacher." - Jessie
• "It's pretty bad when Team Stumpy has wrecked more than Stumpy himself." - Heather
• "Mother, put the camera away! - Stumpy
• "I'm a little nervous about what's in my pocket." - Jason Brummels referring to Brian Johnson's steering dampener in his pocket.
• "Pierre is most improved by far!" - Heather & everyone else agrees!
• "You're wearin' me out." - Heather
• "Shaaat up!" - Marti

MAY 10-11 BLACKHAWK FARMS

• "We're never going to tell anyone about this right?" - Stumpy following the case of the shrunken chain
• "If I had a broom I'd sweep this track." - Stumpy's Mom
• "We don't want these blowing on to the track and knocking Stumpy over."Stumpy's mom picking up tear-offs from all over the track
• "I'm no speeder..." - Aunt Judy
• "I think they should give all the corners girl names--like Jane." - Stumpy & Tom Short thinking up creative ways to decribe your actions in certain corners
• "Just a reminder, no wheelies are allowed, no matter what kind of bike you are on." - PA Dude's announcement Friday morning
• "My weekend is ruined."Johnson after PA Dude's Announcement
• "I'm thinking of paneling the basement with all my wood." - Tom Short
• "I think Pierre and his tent just blew away!" - Stumpy
• "You gotta run whatcha brung." - Stumpy's mom when told she looked nice on Mother's Day
• "Oh no, I can't pass Super Dave!!" - Stumpy on the way to win the MW Superbike race
• "Slow the F&*$ Down!!!!!!!"Johnson at the top of his lungs to Stumpy at turn 5 during MW Superbike when he had a firm lead.
• "Oh great, he's going to toss it any time. Everyone should just stand back." - Johnson while Stumpy lead MW Superbike
• "I can't look." Johnson again.
• "Stumpy checked the hell out!" - Ike's Funny Brother
• "Is that your man?" - Numerous people to Heather
• "That's my man!" - Heather
• "I didn't realize you won--I thought you were a backmarker or something." - PA Announcer starting out Stumpy's victory interview.
• "This one is for Mom--Happy Mother's Day!" - Stumpy during his interview
• "'How do you pronounce your last name, Greg?' 'Stumpy.'" - Stumpy
• "I said, 'Bye Stumpy--see you in the pits!'" - Ike Anderson after Stumpy went wild in MW Superbike
• "Stumpy, please don't slap me in the back of the head next time you lap me." - Pierre
• "I'm doing a rain dance." - Stumpy
• "COME ON!!!!!" - Stumpy to Simon down the strait to the real checkered flag during MW Supersport
• "I thought it was a checkered flag. I was waving at the cornerworkers!" - Simon Kowalski after doing a cool down lap during the last lap of the race and losing 2nd place to Stumpy during that lap.
• "We've got a whole stack of wood!" - Stumpy

APRIL 25-27 ROAD AMERICA

• "I told you we'd be on the other side of the trees next time we came here!" - Stumpy
• "What's going on!" - Johnson & Heather at turn 1 as Stumpy goes by in 3rd place in the GTU
• "Where is he..." - Johnson & Heather at the carosel when Stumpy failed to show during lap 3 of the GTU
• "Have a mint." - Unidentified cornerworker to Stumpy at turn 6 after his nasty stoppie to get off.
• "Stumpy got bumped." - Someone visiting the Team Stumpy pits after wreck one.
• "You probably shouldn't use Super Dave's fork to bend back the sub-frame." - Stumpy to Johnson
• "There's been a report of deer on turn 1" - PA Announcer Mr. Yackadactyl
• "What the *@#$%* happened to you?" - Heather
• "Stumpy's back to race Saturday after his wreck in the GTU Friday..."PA Announcer Mr. Yackadackyl
• "Ma'am, you can't stand there." - Safety Crew to Stumpy's mom in the middle of pit road
• "There's been a report of chipmunks and crows on turn 8." - PA Announcer Mr. Yackadactyl
• "If you're going to go that slow, you might as well go home." - Chris Johnson after Stumpy's 1st Saturday race
• "You looked like you were on a Sunday drive. People are gonna call you a pussyfooter." - Heather
• "Do you want me to knock you around a little?"Johnson trying to pump Stumpy up
• "I'm no pussyfooter." - Stumpy
• "You got more wood!" - Everyone to Stumpy after race 2 on Saturday
• "There's been a report of a turkey on turn 12." - PA Announcer Mr. Yackadactyl
• "Everytime I come around the corner, I see S-T-U-M-P-Y Stumpy." - Stumpy's competition, Chris
• "My transponder's gone!" - First thing Stumpy said to the cornerworker at the Kink when he looked at his bike after his wreck
• "We need another bike." - Stumpy's Dad
• "The word for the weekend is 'spent'" - Aunt Judy
• "That cornerworker is over there pourin' the coals to the other cornerworker!" - Stumpy (he wasn't lying!)

APRIL 4-6 BLACKHAWK FARMS RACEWAY

• "Please let me sniff your pillow! - Johnson
• "You got wood!" - Everyone to Stumpy
• "Push it up! Push it up! Hoot hoot!" - Heather before she got in trouble for wasting air
• "'Did you go yell at the lady at the desk?' 'No, but we've got waffles!'" - Johnson and Greg to Heather and Amber after an interesting stay at the Super 8.
• "Sticky buns don't have cream cheese frosting." - Heather
• "I thought someone was having a rummage sale full of Honda parts on turn 7! I couldn't believe my luck!" - Stumpy
• "You're gonna get lapped." - Amber's motivational speech
• "Round the outside...round the outside..." - Stumpy
• "Sticky Icky Icky Oooooo Eeeee 208 GPs!" - Stumpy inspecting his new tires fresh off the warmers
• "Johnson...Johnson...the thing is stuck...the thing is stuck!" - Stumpy when his bodywork was bound up in his forks on the way to his Superbike race
• "Dude, if you finish top 10, I'll do the flamingo on my fiddy!" - Johnson
• "Run what cha brung!" - Johnson

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