Prologue:

All the anticipation.. all of the speculation.. all of the rumors have finally been confirmed.. everyone's dream has finally come true. The RAW Wrestling Alliance has finally opened it's doors to the public.. unleashing an a new era that, for now, has an unclear future.. however with the type of roster this company has acquired.. the future is looking pretty bright. Stars like, The Rock, Christian, Triple H, The Undertaker, and Chris Jericho.. make this company one to watch in the future. Speaking of watching.. this Monday Night.. you'll have your chance to see these incredible talents square off.. however, one of the matches on RAW that probably sticks out the most is the Hardcore Match bewteen Billy Gunn, or Mr. Ass as he's called, and Chris Jericho. These two men are probably two of the best pure athletes the wrestling business has.. but going into this you have to give Jericho the edge.. because he has on his side.. the services of Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas.. Team Jericho! Not to mention the Billion Dollar Princess.. Stephanie McMahon.. coming into RAW.. Chris Jericho is looked at as one of the top contenders to the World Title.. whenever and however that is annouced. Chris must first however leave a good impression in his debut match in the RWA.. who knows what this could bring him in the long run.. this night for Jericho.. is a night of opprotunity... an opprotunity to get himself noticed.. an opprotunity to make a name for himself in a new place.. an opprotunity to be a champion once again.. and it all starts on the twenty-sixth of May.. two thousand and three.. the night.. where the RWA begins it's new era of entertainment!

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RAW Wrestling Alliance's logo fades onto the screen, followed by some copyright information, and a video of the product. Our scene then fades up from darkness, and into a parking lot in a nearby convienent store, where Stephanie McMahon is searching around for a few items, she continues to rummage through things looking for snack items and anything else she may need while she's at the arena, so she won't have to make the trip back. Impatiently, Chris Jericho begins to come through the door and he's looking around for Stephanie. He finds her and he seems to be a bit embarrased about something. Chris Jericho then goes to the front of the store while Stephanie stops to look at him do, whatever it is, he's going to do. Stephanie puts her hands on those lovely hips of hers and watches as Chris Jericho looks back at her with a scared look on his face. Mind you, this convienent store is packed.. lots of people have stopped by on this day to catch a glimpse of Stephanie McMahon and their hero Chris Jericho, Stephanie then moves her hand back and forth as if to tell Jericho to get going.. and Jericho then leans over the counter and begins to talk to the store clerk in a mumlbed tone.

' living legend ' Chris Jericho: Umm.. do you happen to know where I can get some..

Chris turns back to Stephanie, who seems to growing tired of Jericho's games, and wants to hurry this along, Chris then turns back to the clerk and begins to speak in that same mumbled tone

' living legend ' Chris Jericho: Some.. (even lower) asscream!

The clerk apparently didn't hear him completely and says out loud

' store clerk ' Johnny: Ice cream? You want some ice cream?

' living legend ' Chris Jericho: No, you assclown! (mumbled again) ass.. cream!

' store clerk ' Johnny: (again, out loud) OH.. ass cream.. yeah, we have plenty it's in the back..

Everyone in the store turns to look at Jericho, who kind of just sits back waves and smiles, truly embarrased.. Chris Jericho then begins to speak

' living legend ' Chris Jericho: Really.. it's not for me. It's.. for a friend of mine.

' store clerk ' Johnny: What friend?

' living legend ' Chris Jericho: His name is Mr. Ass!

' store clerk ' Johnny: Ha.. some friend you are.. if you're his friend.. I'd hate to see this guys enemies!

' living legend ' Chris Jericho: You don't know the half of it.. this guy actually takes pride in being called Mr. Ass. Can you believe that? I mean really.. why not take pride in a name that means something like.. The King Of The World... or an UNDISPUTED.. Living Legend, instead? I'll tell you why.. I'll tell you exactly why.. it's because it's simple.. you are what you associate yourself with.. Mr. Ass obviously associates himself with an the talent of that of an ass! Therefore, he's an ass in the ring.. he's an ass as a person.. and he doesn't deserve to be in the same right with the likes of Y-2-J!

' store clerk ' Johnny: That still doesn't explain the asscream, dude.. that's just sick.

' living legend ' Chris Jericho: Dammit.. it's not mine! I'm getting it for Billy Gunn..

' store clerk ' Johnny: LIAR! I thought his name was Mr. Ass! Huh! Huh!

' living legend ' Chris Jericho: It is, jerky! It's not like his real name is Mr. Ass.. because if it was that'd just be downright pathetic.. but hell, when was the last time it was hard to use down right pathetic and Mr Ass in the same sentence? Hell.. you people don't even KNOW Mr. Ass.. and if you did.. you'd be right here with me buying him this ass-cream, if this guy payed more attention to his wrestling.. than his ass.. then he'd obviously be a great wrestler.. not as great as me.. but great none the less.

' store clerk ' Johnny: Dude.. it's ok. We all know the asscream is for you.. although.. I don't know why you'd need it.. I mean.. (looks Jericho up and down) You got a pretty nice figure and everything..

' living legend ' Chris Jericho: Well.. tha.. hey, wait a minute! What the hell is the matter with you.. trying to hit on a living legend.. living legends don't like men! Hell.. now that I think about it.. Mr. Ass might just be a homosexual.. I mean, seriously.. add everything up.. he has curly blonde hair.. he wears extremely tight clothing.. and he obviously has an infatuation with ass! If I didn't know any better.. I'd say Mr. Ass is just a cover up for what he wants to DO to the ass.. which is just wrong.. but I tell you what.. if he tries any of that crap with me.. I'm just going to mutliate him.. brutalize him.. I'm brutliate him.. until eventually.. there won't be much of Mr. Ass.. he'll just be forced to bow down and kiss my feet.. like a peasent should do to.. a KING!

' worth a billion bucks ' Stephanie McMahon: Wait.. Chris.. let me take care of this guy.

Stephanie then walks up to the man very seductively.. and begins to talk to him

' worth a billion bucks ' Stephanie McMahon: Listen kid.. I don't know how stupid you really are.. but if this is any indictation at all of what your true intelligance level is.. then you must be as dumb.. as an ass!

' living legend ' Chris Jericho: You tell 'em Stephy baby.. see what you don't get is this, junior.. this Monday Night.. Mr. Ass is going to get that same ass he talks about so much.. KICKED.. and deservingly so.. because this Monday Night I'm going to expose Mr. Ass for exactly what he is.. not an athlete.. not a charasmatic showmen.. not anything worth being called the HIGHLIGHT.. OF THE NIGHT! But I'm going to expose Mr. Ass.. as a talentless.. worthless.. piece of trash! Mr. Ass doesn't have anything on me.. as a matter of fact.. he's beneath me.. he's under me.. because he's not as good-looking as me.. he's not as talented as me.. and as a matter of fact.. every night before the assclown goes to bed.. he prays to the Lord above.. to be just half as good looking and talented as Chris Jericho! But can you blame him.. I mean, me being the sexiest thing to hit the world since leather pants and prostitutes.. how couldn't he just look up to me.. and wonder why some people are graced with such god-given abilities and physical appeareances..

' worth a billion bucks ' Stephanie McMahon: Like me and you, Chris.. obviously. I mean, what does Mr. Ass have that you don't have?

' store clerk ' Johnny: A nice ass..

' living legend ' Chris Jericho: What are you kidding me? Can you actually deny the fact that my ass.. is truly the best ass in the wrestling business.. who cares about Mr. Ass' ass anyway.. it's not anything like Chris Jericho's muscular physique.. and his incredibly cool.. goatee! Face it, junior.. Chris Jericho is the hottest thing on two legs today.. and everything.. about him is great.. hell, if I had to name myself after my greatest asset.. I'd have to make a book.. hell, a novel.. and it would be called.. "1004 Ways That Chris Jericho Is A Living Legend" Hell.. if Billy Gunn was to make a book.. it'd be a children's book.. and it'd only be about three or four lines.. because it doesn't take that long to write down "AssClown That Likes Ass".. Ha ha ha..

' store clerk ' Johnny: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

' living legend ' Chris Jericho: Hey... assclown.. if I wanted you to laugh.. I would've said laugh!

' store clerk ' Johnny: Ha ha ha ha ha

' living legend ' Chris Jericho: What are you doing? I never said laugh!

' store clerk ' Johnny: HA HA HA HA HA

' living legend ' Chris Jericho: STOP LAUGHING, ASSCLOWN!

' store clerk ' Johnny: (takes a deep breath) Whew.. thanks dude.. I was getting tired..

Chris Jericho just hangs his head in shame and disgust, as does Stephanie McMahon..

' living legend ' Chris Jericho: You know what Steph.. let's just get the asscream.. (turns to everyone) THAT'S NOT FOR ME!.. and get out of here.. before one of these assclowns makes me lose my cool!

Chris Jericho goes to the back of the store and grabs the ass cream.. everyone gasps

' living legend ' Chris Jericho: What? You think just because I have ass cream in my hands that it's for me? I'll show you assclowns.. Steph.. grab those super soakers.. we're going to show these assclowns exactly why.. I am the KING.. OF THE WORLD!

Stephanie grabs two big super soakers and she tosses one to Jericho.. Jericho then opens the asscream and pours it into the supersoaker... and tosses what's left of it to Stephanie McMahon and she does the same. Everyone then begins to go backward and end up against the wall.. Chris Jericho then begins to speak

' living legend ' Chris Jericho: Ha ha ha! Just like Mr. Ass will be this Monday Night.. you assclowns have your backs against the wall.. awaiting the beating from the one, the only, the man, the myth, CHRIS JERICHO! You assclowns thought you were so funny.. but look at you now.. you stupid sons of bitches! You're all at my mercy.. and you're going to ass-creamated! I've told you assclowns once.. that Chris Jericho has more talent in his wrestling tights.. then Mr. Ass has in his whole body.. including that ass he cares so much about.. as a matter of fact.. this Monday Night.. I gaurentee.. that Mr. Ass is going to get a true-blue.. bonified.. Y2J BEATING.. courtesy of your hero.. your party host.. and you're undisputed LIVING LEGEND.. CHRIS JERICHO! You see.. I think it's safe to say.. this Monday Night.. Mr. Ass will..

NEVER.. EH EH EH EH EVER BE THE SAME AGAIN!

' living legend ' Chris Jericho: Because he's going to get his very own..

WEEKLY DOSE

OF Y2J!

' living legend ' Chris Jericho: As for you assclowns.. you're going to get exactly what you deserve!

Chris Jericho and Stephanie McMahon then begin to spray heaps of asscream all over the people in the store.. the people are covered in asscream! Chris Jericho and Stephanie McMahon just sit there laughing their asses off as the people try to avoid being drenched in ass cream.. Jericho and Stephanie then stop the assault and begin to walk out of the convientent store.. the scene then fades back to darkness with Chris and Stephanie laughing their heads off at what they did.

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