Part Four:
Faramir hurried across the grass. It was warm and tickled the bottoms of his bare feet. He sped up his steps, hurrying to catch up with the boy in front of him, but that boy was older, his legs were much longer and Faramir could not quite keep up. He drew in a deep breath of the warm summer air, feeling the slight burning that had started in the center of his chest. He squinted in the bright afternoon light at the boy before him. Boromir was only a few years older but his legs were so much longer as he hurried ahead of his brother.
“Boromir,” he panted out, stretching out a small hand to his brother.
Boromir turned but did not slow. He smiled back at his brother quickly, “Faramir, I must go now.”
“Boromir, just wait for me! I want to come with you,” he returned, falling slowly behind his brother despite his efforts.
“Faramir, you cannot come with me. You know that.”
Faramir ignored the note of impatience that colored his brother’s voice. Why could he not go with his brother? He wished to go wherever his brother went. He did not want to be parted now.
“Boromir, please wait for me,” he said, the burning in his chest increasing slightly with each jagged breath, though it was only partly from the running. Tears stung his eyes though he fought to keep them back. Boromir would certainly not take him if he cried.
“Faramir, I have to go now. They are expecting me.”
Faramir wondered where it was that Boromir was going, wondered why he had to go now. Didn’t whoever was waiting for him know that Faramir wanted him to stay? Why couldn’t Boromir stay with him just a little longer? But no, he would not stay. He would not stay with his little brother, not even for only a few more minutes. Just a few moments of laughter, another few minutes when Boromir was just his.
“Boromir….”
There was no response. And now Faramir couldn’t quite hold back the tears that spilled from his eyes, tumbling down his cheeks, leaving tracks in the dirt that colored his skin. Now his chest was so tight it was hard for him to breathe, so many emotions tumbling through him at once. Of course Boromir would not wait for him; he probably hated to have to wait for his little brother. It wasn’t Faramir’s fault that he was still so little, he thought angrily. Someday his legs would be long enough and then he would always be able to keep up. Then Boromir couldn’t leave him like he was now.
Faramir dropped to the ground then, unable to hold back the sobs that wracked his small chest. He rubbed at his eyes with his fists, sniffling loudly. He wanted to go with Boromir. Why couldn’t he? He would be good; he just didn’t want to be left here alone. He wanted his brother to stay with him, or let him come along.
He felt a hand on his arm and he looked up through tear-filled eyes to meet a pair of concerned gray ones.
“Faramir, do not cry.” Boromir’s voice was soft, the way it always was when his brother was upset. He knew in the back of his mind that it saddened his brother when he cried, but still he couldn’t force the tears to stop completely.
Boromir took Faramir’s face gently in his hands and it struck Faramir how big his hands were, just like Father’s. Faramir wondered where his brother had gone and where this Boromir had come from. For this wasn’t the brother that he knew anymore. Boromir was a child no longer; it was a man that knelt before him, his features furrowed in concern.
Faramir’s tears stopped slowly as he looked up at his brother.
“There, there,” the man had a deeper voice than Faramir was used to. But it was his brother and that was all that mattered. “See? You’re alright now.”
Faramir sniffed, pressing his face into the material of the man’s tunic, mumbling into the man’s chest. Boromir shifted Faramir so that his head lay against his chest but his face no longer pressed into it.
“What did you say?”
“I don’t want you to go,” Faramir repeated softly, one hand holding tightly to the front of Boromir’s tunic. “I want you to stay with me,” he repeated stubbornly.
“I can’t stay with you,” Boromir repeated, but this time there was no hint of impatience in his voice just something Faramir didn’t understand. “I have to go now.”
Faramir’s bottom lip quivered as his brother gently loosed his hand from his tunic. Faramir’s hands were too small, he could not hold on. Boromir leaned back, strong hands smoothing back the loose curls that clung to his brother’s face.
“Some day you will understand.”
Faramir sniffled once more, “I don’t want to understand, I just want you to take me with you.”
Boromir sighed heavily and when Faramir looked into his eyes, the shadow in them made him wince. He did not know what could bring such a look, only knew that it scared him. He did not want his brother to look like that.
“You will be okay,” Boromir said and Faramir did not like how his voice sounded now. He sounded sad, spoke as though he would not be coming back for a very long time.
“I won’t be okay without you,” Faramir said stubbornly. “Nobody is as nice to me as you are.”
“Well, that’s because no one could ever love you like I love you.”
“Then you can stay here with me,” Faramir said hopefully. “I won’t tell anyone. I promise.”
But Boromir got to his feet then and he was so very tall. Faramir knew he could never keep pace with him now.
“I…I can’t,” Boromir said then and his voice still sounded funny. “I have to go now, Faramir. I’ve stayed here too long already.”
Faramir looked up, so high it hurt his neck. “Will you be gone so very long?”
Boromir looked down at him for several moments and Faramir thought that he wouldn’t answer the question at all. “I…I think so,” Boromir finally said. “A very long time for me.”
Faramir’s eyes slowly flooded with tears once more at the thought of his brother being gone, but this time they didn’t fall down his cheeks. “Boromir?”
“Yes, Faramir?”
“Will you promise me something?”
“Anything.”
“When you’re gone….” Faramir hesitated for a moment before finally adding, “Promise me you won’t like anyone more than you like me?”
Boromir laughed then but it didn’t sound like a regular laugh. “I promise.”
Faramir felt his hands on his face once more then, tilting his face up until he could see Boromir’s. He had knelt back down and now he pressed a soft kiss to his brother’s forehead. “I promise,” he said again.
Boromir stood then and strode across the grass away from his brother. He turned only once to wave at his brother when he was too far away for Faramir to be able to see his features clearly. And then he was gone and Faramir was left sitting all by himself. He wondered how long a very long time was.
* * *
Faramir sat up in bed with a start. The room was dark, lit only by the sliver of moo high in the sky. So long had it been since he had dreamed of his brother. He could still feel the tightness that had pressed upon his chest in the dream. His mind still felt clouded with the childlike confusion he had felt in the dream.
A slender hand was placed on his arm and Faramir turned, trying to slow his breath. He had not meant to wake her. Eowyn looked at him with obvious concern, he did not need to see her features to know this, could feel it radiating from her.
“What is it?”
Her voice was soft in the darkness, and Faramir felt some of the fear the lingered from his dream slip away from him at the soft touch.
“Faramir?”
He swallowed with difficulty. “I dreamt…I dreamt of my brother,” he said softly, as though in a daze.
Even though he wasn’t looking directly at her, he could envision the way her delicate features would change, the sympathy that would be evident in every line of her face. She did not know the truth of his and Boromir’s relationship, not because he had feared she would not understand but that it was too close, too personal to ever be uttered. It was not meant for words.
Eowyn did not speak, merely wrapped her arms around Faramir, holding his body close to her own. He laid back against the pillows, holding her close to himself, his grip tight but she did not breathe a word of complaint, just smoothed back his hair and whispered softly into his ear. He did not hear the words, just took comfort from the soft tone.
Eowyn pressed a soft kiss to his forehead then, bringing to mind the soft touch of his brother. Faramir remembered the look in his brother’s eyes and he understood it now, knew why he couldn’t go with his brother this time. He could still hear the soft way he had said “I promise” echoing in his mind.
The tension slowly left his body as Faramir wondered if his brother had kept his promise. It did not matter the way it had in the dream. The desperation had evaporated under gentle loving touches. Faramir knew that he would never truly love another as he had loved his brother, just as he could never love another as he did the woman he held in his arms now.
His grip relaxed around Eowyn though he still held her tightly against his body. He drifted slowly to sleep then, content in knowing that the sun would rise the next morning, the way it always did, that he would wake up in the arms of one who he not only loved but who he knew loved him back. And somehow Faramir knew that wherever his brother was, he must know that another loved him the way that Boromir would have wished for his brother. He would be okay.
The End.