Title: Do You Sleep
Author: Elandae (j_3101@yahoo.ca)
Pairing: Dave Wenham/Craig Parker
Rating: PG
Summary: David doesn’t miss Craig
Feedback: Always welcome.
Disclaimer: I make no claims to the actor’s lives, preferences, etc. It’s ALL made up, that’s why we call it fiction.
Author’s Notes: The song lyrics are from ‘Do You Sleep’ by Lisa Loeb.
Do
you eat, sleep, do you breathe me anymore?
Do you sleep, do you keep me anymore?
Dave didn’t miss Craig. Didn’t miss falling asleep next to him, and waking up with him. Didn’t miss the sound of Craig breathing, slow and even in the silence of the bedroom. Didn’t miss anything. He remembered that time he had woken up to find Craig watching him sleep. Just lying there, propped up on one arm, watching David. It had been an eerie feeling to awake and feel eyes on you, to realize that someone was watching you. He had smiled softly at Craig, looking into those too blue eyes. His heart hadn’t leapt when Craig had smiled softly back at him. Just his imagination. That kind of thing happened all the time. Well, maybe not all the time, but it could.
You can't give yourself absolutely to someone else.
It wasn’t that he had held back, it was just that Craig wasn’t the right person for him. Sure, Craig had always been able to make him laugh, had known when something was bothering, but that wasn’t love, that was luck. That was just a lucky guess. If you were around anyone for a period of time, you could begin to read their moods. It wasn’t love. Love was explosions and tingles; it wasn’t soft lights and whispered words. It couldn’t be. Dave would know it if he fell in love, wouldn’t he? And he hadn’t fallen in love with Craig. With those eyes, that smile that lit his entire face up. That was just a physical thing. That could happen to anyone, with anyone. Somehow even justifying it this way didn’t help. Not that he needed help. He was fine.
And
I don't know, and I don't care
if I ever will see you again.
I don't know, and I don't care
if I ever will be there.
Dave had known this whole thing had been a mistake, was smart enough to get out before it got too hard. He congratulated himself, hell, he should be outright proud of himself. He’d seen what was going on, and had known what he should do. He’d been a man, done what needed to be done. He should be celebrating. But he didn’t feel much like celebrating for some reason. He was too tired, too…just too. Who knew not missing someone was so hard?
The End.