Often I reached out

Often I came close

Often I pulled back

if there was a way to change

wave a magic wand

command a jeanie

roll a lucky dice

Take me deep

Swallow my pride

Tie me down

Chain me up

Let bleed desire's fire

on freedom's alter

before sacred oaths

dissolve saturn's grip that strangles silken whispers

before YES is breathed

and dies without belief

Like I do

each time I reach out

then pull back

12-25-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1151)

While reviewing the past

the way it was

how we were

such easy thoughts

nothing ever to worry

I realized

I saw

I knew

now was just a cartoon

of what would have been

if we could have

been

now

then

12-25-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1990)

Broke the mode

of who I was

now you see

the source of my shadow

the end of my projection

the face behind every mask.

Just before midnight

I began a new day

another era

a beautiful me

alone in flight

over my broken mode.

So the who you see

who looks like me

but acts so free

is but master of ceremony

grand performance

finally on stage

with little left to offer

but

the way I am

again today

in broken mode

once again I am.

12-25-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(99D)

So sure

that this was the right direction

everything always

had led to this spot

until we discovered

that we weren't here

and neither was the spot

12-26-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1342 B)

We drew a line

in the sand

but the tides

washed us away

leaving the line

that we drew

dividing us

from being one

to fight the tides

that came

and took us

away

12-26-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1745 B)

Buried treasures

like hidden talents

leaves us poor

and all alone

with no one

sharing

what we'd have

if hidden treasures

and buried talents

weren't.

12-26-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(99 D)

Shattered illusions

Scattered conclusions

Battered delusions

dissolved by the dawn of reason

Now nothing is left

but created reality

so clear

I can see forever

Hello New Morning

Good Bye every night

12-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1256)

At a final frontier

we conquered fear

to devour

each other

like any

cannibal of love

would

12-26-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(62 D)

The day after

The night before

left me

wanting to wake with you

once again

in the day after

the night before

12-26-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1405)

This year so quickly went

I went back

to do it once again

just to know

it really had happened.

12-26-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1565)

I looked in the dictionary

to find meaning

but no explanation

cleared up

my wonderment

of what

this means

You and I

three words in the dictionary

one in my mind.

12-26-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(512)

I always thought

one more would be enough

and when it is

it will be

But for now

here I am

only one more

from being enough.

12-26-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(288)

I was wondering

what will be the last word said

the final line written

the last caress

the final bite

before I die

then I realized

I wouldn't remember anyway

so on I ramble

write

touch

and eat

like any eternal consumer

would

12-26-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(842)

If each thing done

we do as

that to be our masterpiece

then our life

that will be

12-26-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(349 A)

Again

my friend

the end

does send

this trend

again

ABOUT FACE

CHANGE DIRECTION

whisper loudly

the blind feel what we don't see

the deaf see what we don't hear

the lonely know every face in the crowd

but at the end

I'll still be your friend

12-26-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(6 B)

'Lucky me'

said the tree

'I will never be

lost on a freeway

short on what to say

found shopping

seen hopping

lucky me

lucky me

said the tree

12-26-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(956 D)

All the advice ever asked

never led anyone to the stars

all the questions pursued

never changed the unexpected

all the theories so explained

never

ever

and it will still all be

the same

again tomorrow

12-26-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(12)

'Oh No! Oh No!'

said the tree

and all the people stopped

to question a tree

that would talk

but never more

did that tree say

And that is how

the religion of the tree began

and why everyone

chants

'Oh No! Oh No!'

12-26-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1155 B)

All our possessions

are but props

to insulate our space

before we became to know

that we never

needed them anyway.

12-27-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(12 B)

Cold!

Only the physical body knows

take away the cold

I'm still here

take away my body

the cold remains

if I could

I would be

a naked thought sitting on an arctic flow

and diving into frozen illusion tundra

I'd swim in the cold

and pretend my body was with me

like I do now

in this cold world

I've been given to wander.

12-27-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(120)

As fragile as each new moment is

the strength to proceed into in

is but BELIEF

given wings

to give flight

when needed to be.

12-27-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(61 D a)

Nature brought forth humans

because

dinosaurs couldn't paint

amoebas wouldn't carry a tune

apes refused to write poetry

and there was no one to understand this.

12-27-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1002 B)

The reason we do everything

done

we did

is to look at it at the end

to see if

we

did

it correctly

since the beginning.

12-27-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1467 A)

Like a poem

going no where

a song

without a tune

seeds planted in the desert

and love with no dawn

life is

without direction.

12-27-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(908 B)

We had so many backup plans

that we crashed

backing up

never seeing

where we were going.

12-27-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1769)

While looking for the perfect gift

silence screamed at me

'GIVE NOTHING

BECAUSE THAT IS ALL

WE SHALL HAVE AT THE END'

and now

we could get use to

getting it early.

12-28-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1983)

I never wanted to be

anything more

than everything

that you are

I never wanted to be white

or so poor

so unknown

I'm not even a part of history's pathways

but if there weren't shadows like me

there would never be

stars like you.

12-28-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell NeuageSA (571 B)

The last verse

was in your purse

all you had to do

was open and see

but you shot through

and left me free

Yet always the waves

reach the horizon

poems seldom rhyme

nature does not understand humans

and the last verse

was in your purse

lost with my heart

amongst all the things

you carry

wherever you fly.

12-29-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1427)

If I said good night

would that change the orbit of the sun

make the collide with Mars

or a garden snail learn to run

probably not probably not

because within preconceived ideas

giraffes don't become butterflies

love never dies

and I don't hear you

saying good night to me.

12-30-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(380)

We don't live in troubled times

troubled times live in us

swallow butterflies

eat rainbows

drink stars

DIGESTED CHANGE

takes away

troubled times.

12-30-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1743)

I keep thinking it's a different day

another life

who opened the windows

and let in

these times

this place

that reflection

which could never be

anything more

than a different day

another life.

Often I reached out

Often I came close

Often I pulled back

if there was a way to change

wave a magic wand

command a jeanie

roll a lucky dice

Take me deep

Swallow my pride

Tie me down

Chain me up

Let bleed desire's fire

on freedom's alter

before sacred oaths

dissolve saturn's grip that strangles silken whispers

before YES is breathed

and dies without belief

Like I do

each time I reach out

then pull back

12-25-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1151)

While reviewing the past

the way it was

how we were

such easy thoughts

nothing ever to worry

I realized

I saw

I knew

now was just a cartoon

of what would have been

if we could have

been

now

then

12-25-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1990)

Broke the mode

of who I was

now you see

the source of my shadow

the end of my projection

the face behind every mask.

Just before midnight

I began a new day

another era

a beautiful me

alone in flight

over my broken mode.

So the who you see

who looks like me

but acts so free

is but master of ceremony

grand performance

finally on stage

with little left to offer

but

the way I am

again today

in broken mode

once again I am.

12-25-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(99D)

So sure

that this was the right direction

everything always

had led to this spot

until we discovered

that we weren't here

and neither was the spot

12-26-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1342 B)

We drew a line

in the sand

but the tides

washed us away

leaving the line

that we drew

dividing us

from being one

to fight the tides

that came

and took us

away

12-26-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1745 B)

Buried treasures

like hidden talents

leaves us poor

and all alone

with no one

sharing

what we'd have

if hidden treasures

and buried talents

weren't.

12-26-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(99 D)

Shattered illusions

Scattered conclusions

Battered delusions

dissolved by the dawn of reason

Now nothing is left

but created reality

so clear

I can see forever

Hello New Morning

Good Bye every night

12-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1256)

At a final frontier

we conquered fear

to devour

each other

like any

cannibal of love

would

12-26-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(62 D)

The day after

The night before

left me

wanting to wake with you

once again

in the day after

the night before

12-26-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1405)

This year so quickly went

I went back

to do it once again

just to know

it really had happened.

12-26-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1565)

I looked in the dictionary

to find meaning

but no explanation

cleared up

my wonderment

of what

this means

You and I

three words in the dictionary

one in my mind.

12-26-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(512)

I always thought

one more would be enough

and when it is

it will be

But for now

here I am

only one more

from being enough.

12-26-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(288)

I was wondering

what will be the last word said

the final line written

the last caress

the final bite

before I die

then I realized

I wouldn't remember anyway

so on I ramble

write

touch

and eat

like any eternal consumer

would

12-26-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(842)

If each thing done

we do as

that to be our masterpiece

then our life

that will be

12-26-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(349 A)

Again

my friend

the end

does send

this trend

again

ABOUT FACE

CHANGE DIRECTION

whisper loudly

the blind feel what we don't see

the deaf see what we don't hear

the lonely know every face in the crowd

but at the end

I'll still be your friend

12-26-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(6 B)

'Lucky me'

said the tree

'I will never be

lost on a freeway

short on what to say

found shopping

seen hopping

lucky me

lucky me

said the tree

12-26-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(956 D)

All the advice ever asked

never led anyone to the stars

all the questions pursued

never changed the unexpected

all the theories so explained

never

ever

and it will still all be

the same

again tomorrow

12-26-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(12)

'Oh No! Oh No!'

said the tree

and all the people stopped

to question a tree

that would talk

but never more

did that tree say

And that is how

the religion of the tree began

and why everyone

chants

'Oh No! Oh No!'

12-26-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1155 B)

All our possessions

are but props

to insulate our space

before we became to know

that we never

needed them anyway.

12-27-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(12 B)

Cold!

Only the physical body knows

take away the cold

I'm still here

take away my body

the cold remains

if I could

I would be

a naked thought sitting on an arctic flow

and diving into frozen illusion tundra

I'd swim in the cold

and pretend my body was with me

like I do now

in this cold world

I've been given to wander.

12-27-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(120)

As fragile as each new moment is

the strength to proceed into in

is but BELIEF

given wings

to give flight

when needed to be.

12-27-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(61 D a)

Nature brought forth humans

because

dinosaurs couldn't paint

amoebas wouldn't carry a tune

apes refused to write poetry

and there was no one to understand this.

12-27-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1002 B)

The reason we do everything

done

we did

is to look at it at the end

to see if

we

did

it correctly

since the beginning.

12-27-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1467 A)

Like a poem

going no where

a song

without a tune

seeds planted in the desert

and love with no dawn

life is

without direction.

12-27-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(908 B)

We had so many backup plans

that we crashed

backing up

never seeing

where we were going.

12-27-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1769)

While looking for the perfect gift

silence screamed at me

'GIVE NOTHING

BECAUSE THAT IS ALL

WE SHALL HAVE AT THE END'

and now

we could get use to

getting it early.

12-28-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1983)

I never wanted to be

anything more

than everything

that you are

I never wanted to be white

or so poor

so unknown

I'm not even a part of history's pathways

but if there weren't shadows like me

there would never be

stars like you.

12-28-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell NeuageSA (571 B)

The last verse

was in your purse

all you had to do

was open and see

but you shot through

and left me free

Yet always the waves

reach the horizon

poems seldom rhyme

nature does not understand humans

and the last verse

was in your purse

lost with my heart

amongst all the things

you carry

wherever you fly.

12-29-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1427)

If I said good night

would that change the orbit of the sun

make the collide with Mars

or a garden snail learn to run

probably not probably not

because within preconceived ideas

giraffes don't become butterflies

love never dies

and I don't hear you

saying good night to me.

12-30-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(380)

We don't live in troubled times

troubled times live in us

swallow butterflies

eat rainbows

drink stars

DIGESTED CHANGE

takes away

troubled times.

12-30-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1743)

I keep thinking it's a different day

another life

who opened the windows

and let in

these times

this place

that reflection

which could never be

anything more

than a different day

another life.

12-30-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(485 B)

Woken highway

reached out

I held on

through the deserts

ofpver rivers

into mountains

This highway

would not listen to my pleas to stop

This highway

had heard desperate hooves

as horses escaped in the 1800s

had see Porches and Harleys

had felt pain

joy

but never aloneness

like I so often have

This highway

took me to this realm

I can not escape

my family calls it madness

my doctor - a genetic flaw

my psychic said I was born to the highway

I its slave

and it will be this highway

at the end of the tunnel

where beings of light

will throw me back

and tell me to follow the highway

until I know where it's headed

(like if I would anyway - ever)

Now I'm quite use to this highway which keeps going

into other dimensions

like I do

each time I think of the road once traveled

the road futures will travel

This highway never ending.

12-31-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell NeuageSA. (2055)

Morning swallowed

my dreams

made me hungry

to see if

they'd come true

like everything else

I believe in

does

5-1-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(978)

At the beginning

when all there was

was already there

waiting to be put together

like you and me

and the galaxies

too

5-1-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(64)

I was so sleepy

I slept standing up

while the world

lay on its side

watching

5-1-93 (838)

the reason

we are here

is because dawn

doesn't want to

come alone

5-1-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1430)

like steps through history

or a wander through dreams

today's beliefs,efs

grew out of yesterday's crumbled ideologies

for tomorrow's

individual freedom

finally won

to take wings

never to land again

5-1-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(916)

I learned shorthand

speed reading

computerization

experienced Paris in a day

read 'Readers Digest'

condensed pasteurized homogenized great novels

and watched history of civilization

but time stood still

when your touch

became so

involved

5-1-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(492)

I concentrated so hard

on this moment

that yesterday and tomorrow disappeared

now

like neapolitan ice cream

melted

contains the former and the latter

in a future past tense

that has no ease

of

explanation

in this moment

5-1-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(316 C)

There is little difference

between you and me

except that I am conscious

of the little difference

(even calling them my own)

and you see them

being but variations

of your greater self

5-1-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1430 D)

This life goes so fast

that when I die

I will need

a thousand years

to review all that happened

in this life

5-1-93 (1508)

The continuous pouring out

of creativity

fueled forever's freedom's

perceptual persuasion's performance

reflected perfectly

for me

to

know

5-1-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1394)

I wouldn't want to live on Venus

because there are no trees

nor on Mars with its lack of flowers

and there is no chocolate on Jupiter

or ice cream on Mercury

while on earth

everything I want

is between the sea

the trees

and the shopping mall.

5-1-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(858)

If I knew how to write

a poem

I would

if I knew how to sing

I would

If I could dance, take photos

paint or tell your future

I would

But all I can do

is build you a castle

in the sand

and offer it to you

before the sea

take it from me

5-1-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(376)

the reason

we don't have wings

is because we don't have to fly north

for the winter

But can stay all winter-warm

wrapped in each other's

warmth

5-1-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(946)

The reason

we keep coming to earth

is to learn to stop dying

but we keep

getting into the Plato trap

of this is it

why keep going

5-5-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(946 C)

Not every time

is everything

going to be

the way it is

at other times

But instead

like any spinning top everything gets a chance\

to be close at hand

again

if we see

5-5-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1130 C)

We rush through life

like we're in a hurry

to get to the end

not knowing what it is

except that

it will be different

than the rush through

this life is

5-593 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1768)

I write

for the same reasons

a bird flies

far from an oil slick

a whale stays away

from a stream

and buffaloes avoid mountains

I write only

to find these answers

that everyone else

already knows

5-5-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(858)

As if this moment could be preserved:

placed in a safe-deposit box, frozen in space, cloned, kept intact

maybe even used again

reincarnated, transmigrated, resuscitated,

recycled moments

in another reality

a paralleling toyed universe

where earth-used moments

are packaged and sold in day-fill programmes

Drive-thru-take-away-moment-services

'Yes I will take three moments to go

two yesterdays and one tomorrow'

And I reach out to take a hold of a yesterday

the moment we said good bye

in hopes of renaming it and bringing it back to life

only to discover the moment I wanted returned

had been used by a patriot in an alternative drifting energy force

and was no longer mine

to have again

but only to observe

in mutational memory cells

reflecting changing interpretation of

the way it once was

11-28-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(61 C)

Before: After was known

When storms were calm

Emotions describable

And colour bland

Answers were easy

But meaning wasn't.

11-29-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(76)

Inside wholeness

separation is unknown

like the splitting of an atom

is unknown

inside wholeness

But the results

are the same

11-29-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(576)

Curtains drawn

over windows of time

left imagination

without a view

like an unlit night

shows what can not be seen

when all that is revealed

is nothing at all

11-29-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(136 B)

In the morning

I looked forward to

meeting the new me

that I heard about

in a dream

But the new me

stayed in the dream

while mirror showed

the same snapshot

it had shown

every other morning

fuzzy wakefulness

far from any dream thought possible

11-30-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(582)

While sharing one another

with each other

We traded lives

and worked on correcting

all the faults we had

perceived in each other

before we had traded lives

then we traded back

only to die laughing

at what we had created

Perhaps next time

we'll just accept and not modify

live and not die

and

share and not trade

11-30-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1993)

While making way

for new experiences

the past was stored away

in the attic

where a spider

web-woven

devoured the past

and the present

ran naked

knowing such a fate

could be escaped

if experiences

no longer were stored

away

11-29-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1985)

Without risk

a billion galaxies

would have not begun to dance

with questions

a billion suns

in our galaxy

would have not take a first deep breath

without nature

chaos would have no joy

without you

a billion cells in my life

will lose their spark.

21-1-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(2051)

Close to where I want to be

But never there

like a future

reachable

not holdable

hoped for

not known

seeable

But only in a mist

before form

covers now

in the never to be

so in today once again

as always

all is within reach

and parts even attainable

but never all

never all

never all

12-1-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(118 B)

The release

freed me:

What I once wanted

no longer needed

flew forth

like love does

once it has wings

12-1-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1479)

Fresh start

reinvented me

today is the reincarnation of yesterday

But I'm not

Reinvented me

is all I can see.

12-1-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(231 B)

yy

Without sounding

too philosophical

spiritual

down-to-earth

metaphysical

or psychological

I need you

like any farmer

the rain

would

12-2-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(2051 B)

I thought nature

was blushing

from listening to me

speak about you

But it was dawn

that was making nature come

with such colour

not my description of you

12-2-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(674)

sky cleared

darkened thoughts

blocking dawn

so morning could see

my wish had come true

you and I free of

darkened thoughts

12-2-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1290)

Just when I understood

how the final piece fitted

when nature cheered

exploration showed meaning

changes laughed in reason

I awoke

to see clouds disperse

love leap forward

success call my name

12-3-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(873 B)

I use to think

I was the luckiest person

on earth

to be with you

now I realize

you're the lucky one

12-3-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(742)

I didn't notice

a difference between

day and night

until you pointed out

that is how

we are

shooting stars

gone too far

passing midnight

passing noon

we'll know soon

which we're like

which we're not

but sameness

is left out doors

somewhere between

day and night

12-3-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(321 B)

I just thought we could stop

along the coast of our first touch

atop the mountain of desire first conquered

past our first laugh over a whispering horizon

But I just got a message from the dawn

saying memory is better than promise

promise is better than forever

forever is better than forever

and in circles

the merry-go-round never strays

like my feelings for you

always changing

never ceasing

always finding

never seeking

always one

you're never close

because I'm always there

just around a corner

in the back of your memory

12-3-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(480)

I wanted to be a legend

a whisper amongst time's shadows

spoken about in parliament

dreamt of in alleys

cried over

in Delphi often

number one on MTV

a source of multiple orgasm\inner space colonization\political revolution

the dawn at road's end

And I was

somewhere in time

12-3-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(778)

I wanted to be safe

so I gave you a single rose

instead of promising the world

a smile

rather than tomorrow too

a light touch

that could never the place

of all I wanted to give

beyond a single rose

12-3-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(782 D)

I wanted too much

such a short time

to try it all

have a taste

devour more than before

to go every direction at once

But I did

so excuse the way I am

because I wanted too much

and it all I did

too

12-3-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(791 A)

I tried to shake away

shadow's memories

fallen beliefs

and dusty mirages

of when you were

an oasis to me

but trials of now

lost in forests of good byes

took me to this corner

this crossroad

this space

where I remember everything

no matter how much

I try to strike away

memory will cast me forever

in the starring role

I had

once with you

12-3-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(720 D)

The cross of reason

tossed experience into now

dreams so real now weren't

feelings once felt dissipated

wishes just another book read

(the seven seas just another pool swam)

The cross of reason

forever there

12-3-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1402 B)

The only reason

nature has let us

get this far

is because it needs

someone to water the flowers

when the rain

doesn't flow

like we do

when together

the dawn we touch

12-3-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1445)

I sang the same line

over so many times

to make it rhyme

You were following a star

I followed morning

crossed visions left me alone

if only I knew the tone

take me

the sea

I will sail forever

fallen forgotten endeavour

leave me this moment free

for all I can see

is the remainder of me

12-4-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(614 B)

While fading into you

I grabbed on to

a final portion of me

like forever

takes a final glimpse of

the moment

12-4-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1975)

As difficult as the moment appears

it is nothing

compared with

a tree from a seed

a president from a collision of sperm and egg

millions of dollars from six numbers in the lottery

another moment with you

12-4-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(61 C)

why this is this way

mist rises

rain falls

winter froze

you touch

I melt

this way it is

tomorrow too

it will be

12-4-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(2033)

Time came

when window

showed little more

than thought cleared sky

echoes whispered

shades of colours

If I knew the way

would have smelt like

a spring morning

when we believed

winter would never return

12-4-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1567)

"HOLD THE MEMORY!"

I yelled

this isn't all

that can be done

before next moment new packages now into

'remember when?'

and pouring forth

more than

better than

I watch the moment explode

shooting forth

galactic droplets

of new moments

each carrying

more than

better than

within its form

12-5-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(282)

Focusing on you

blurred the surroundings

Your life

nature's victory

Your senses

future's promise

heightened awareness

centred on you

erased everything else

the game in front slipped away

yesterday's storm blew out to sea

questions became irrelevant

answers dissolved

while focusing on you

everything became blurred

except for you

12-4-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(217 B)

Still trying to say

what should be so easy

to explain

how forests

laugh in rain

like I do in you

how the universe

took 15 billion years

to bring forth

mobile phones

and only 30 years

you

how your touch

makes me

feel like

a christmas tree

waiting to be

decorated

12-4-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1352 D)

I reached through time

to grab the bits

I wanted tomorrow to be made of

like any creator would

12-4-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(602 B)

I planted an acorn seed

and heard celery grow

in its place

I put my yacht out to sea

but woke in the bath tub

with a toy boat instead

the weather report said

the sun would shine

over my tropical island today

but i had to shovel through

four feet of snow

to get to my papaya plantation

You said you would stay with me forever

and we haven't met yet

I swam

when I should have flown

cried instead of laughed

chased cars

dogs were driving

stood naked

in a crowded subway

And told secrets on Oprah's show

otherwise

everything seems quite normal

12-5-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(602)

It was funny the way

we danced

along the shore

in the moonlight

you sang of rainbows

when no storm was in sight

I collected shells

in the night

looking for pearls

looking for love

looking for what I'd wake with

if we ever stopped dancing

long enough to dream

of the moment

like anyone having

a near-love experience

would

12-5-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(735 D)

In clashing colours

we found every difference

but a taste

of each experience

that was free

in clashing colours

12-5-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(558 C)

Rushed through

all we could have

Leaping brushed-fired passions

devoured us

you opened

I gave

you cried

I whispered

you held on

I let go

filling you with every man's desire

ACCUMULATED EVOLUTIONARY WANT

and in the moment

all creation held her breath

wondering if such fulfillment

was possible

as we rushed through

all we could have

in one final release

that is now

forever

imprinted on my consciousness

a mutating cell in all future creation.

12-5-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1232)

I waited for the final song

one last curtain call

a good bye kiss

and a passing caress

You were to become a star

here on earth

or in the sky

I never knew which

But I knew

as the applause faded

and your whispers rang in my ears

that what I wanted

what you gave

what I took

was just a borrow

an overdue loan

from this stage

just a further experience

and without saying thank you

too many times

I salute you

and ask for nothing more

but an encore

before this stage

dissolves into

some future production

12-5-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(771 B)

If nature

changed her mind

as often as I do

there'd be blizzards in Pago Pago

spring in the winter

the sun would stop then go the opposite direction

cows would give eggs on Tuesdays

flowers on Friday

and there'd be one of me for each day of the week

12-7-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage( 400 B)

Like when no one notices

what is

Is the best performance possible

while the rain washes away

the stage

and in suspended thought

birds migrate

with little notice

of what is

is the best performance

possible.

12-7-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(922)

Everyone stood in line

waiting to be selected

like a best thought of the day

waits to be realized

Friday waits Thursday to end

a rose waits to be given

and I wait for you to see

I have selected you

like I hope you have me

12-7-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(188)

too much junk mail

too many sensational headlines

and too few peaceful times

left me looking for a comfortable seat

in the midst of a tornado

just to watch

not be changed

12-7-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1617)

I was ready

times weren't

I was there

space wasn't

I wanted you

you didn't know

time and space

didn't exist

12-7-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(834)

One step from the finish

I realized

I was in the wrong race

But it was o.k.

because I was only one step away

from starting a new one

this time correctly run

12-7-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1162)

I made

a hundred

photocopies

of the moment

I met you

and

hand them out

to myself

each time

the moment

tries

to

slip

away

12-13-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(553 B)

Here we are

funny to say

flowers laugh

rain screams

dove for evening meal

but

though

maybe

it is possible

funny to say

we never knew

that it truly

is this way

12-7-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(276)

I was just getting warmed up

decades of experience

(lay like tumbled children's blocks)

picked up and used again

to make a bridge

recycled experiences

led me to be free once again

like before blocks of life

began to tumble

12-7-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(628)

each moment chosen

like ripen fruit

a perfect gift

each magical touch

the taste of

new fallen snow

and the glow of a first touch

is nothing but perfect

in each moment chosen

12-13-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(169 B)

Surprised by the movement

through space

of what I wanted

as it pushed aside

all resistance

and made room in chaos

for all

I wanted

12-13-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1365 B)

Each time I turn around

facing direction's perspective

laughs like time

in the rain

does

12-13-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(198)

On the back of yesterday

I wrote what happened

How the morning exploded

day gave meaning

freedom flew

and so did I

on the back of yesterday

I never wished for now

to be so far away

from then

and remembered so well

12-13-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1165 B)

Children are not

the souvenirs of love

but travelling

theme parks

they are

12-14-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(116)

There were so many choices

I fell asleep

and dreamt each one

complete

that is why

I see rainbows

when others see clouds

And so should we.

12-14-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1489)

If every direction traveled

arrived at the perfect destination

Discovery forever

would stand behind

closed doors

laughing at us

12-14-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(349)

A close score

with little time left

all the players

waited in evening's fading

light

as the stars began to shine

to make complete every game

that no longer

needs morning to show

winners

like we do

each time we touch

12-15-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(6)

I don't like art

I don't like writing

that is why I drew a poem

in the sky

just to watch it

disappear

like I do

each time I read

what I write.

12-16-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(330)

Like any good audience

we are still waiting for

the punch line

2000 years later

12-17-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(908)

In mistaken identities

trees sprout wings

birds grow roots

and gravity tossed us into space

like love

with no way

to keep us down to earth

12-17-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(565 B)

Morning filled

night before

breeze returned

with your scents

your desire

still fulfilling

bringing now

with

your return

12-22-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(976)

If only images

were found

to be real

I would become lost

in the image of you

12-22-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(405 B)

I thought it was the end of the world

when the changes began.

As if time really cared

or the sky would disappear

or elephants would stop dancing.

12-22-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(66 B)

With no time left

I asked to spend forever with you

With no space

I asked

if there was room for me

In the frozen wastelands

I looked for a tropical taste of you.

12-22-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(2043)

I have given you

all the great lines

but we have yet

to dance

I have shown all the possibilities

you have yet to show any

I have visited the stars

you are still here

and the point is

we never go

beyond our own

perspective

12-22-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(462)

While focusing on you

I lost sight

of everything else

that is why

I'm wet

from walking into the sea

thinking I was walking

into you

That is why

I'm bleeding

from cutting myself in two

on a mirror

I was hanging

thinking it was you

That is how

I became lost

thinking I had found you

focusing too

on me.

12-22-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1977)

Brandy coloured morning

revealed

last night

never ending

12-22-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(99 D)

Something to reach for like dawn

at the horizon

rain

above clouds

and love

before doubt

something to reach for

never having

12-22-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1312)

We touched the stars

before we were ready

NOW

without oxygen

without bodies

without life

WE search

how to come back down-to-earth

once again

12-22-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1835)

It's o.k. to take a break

waste some time

take a nap

go for a walk

fondle

the sun is expected

to shine

for a few billion

more years

and so can we

or at least

some part of

us

5-7-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(732)

We are always

While pushing past the limits once believed

I tossed away bewilderment with

'I don't think it is possible'

touching space and understanding it too

so that all achievments until now

were nothing more

than cave paintings

just some muddled hieroglyphics

like old age without reason

But that's all behind

back in humanity's nursery book stage

Freedom is the real frontier

with fear of guilt and misplaced beliefs

being the savage native

hiding in the psychic

waiting to attack free thinking

with primitive weapons

of guilt, fear, and mysticism

But it is too late

freedom to know will conquer

and push the only true-value frontier open

so every universe

without secret

is left bare

to enter

and have

4/9/93 Good Friday Poem - Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1810 C)

In change

dreams come awake

in sameness

dreams go to sleep.

4-12-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(558)

Desire is the slave

of freedom

4-13-92 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(155 b)

if everyone knew

what I know now

holy cow

I'd be out the door

for ever more

that's for sure

But I'm not

so here I am

waiting for more

outside your door

4-14-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(350)

In chosen images

beliefs reveal

what is real

like this moment does

rising over a new horizon

in unsettled times

where seas

pierce clouded evenings

tranquil message

of what is believed,

and in tomorrow like again today

the future's past

reveals secret's timely wish's desire

held like forever's reflection in today

again found to be

everything worth waiting for

so as to say

yes it was as real

as ever it was meant to be.

4-16-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(558)

In ancient thought

beyond reason's pillars

everyone came together

to predict the future

in Diana's shower

But they turned on the video

and forgot to leave behind

much more

than our ancient interpretation

in times

that dispels

all

(554)

Sun doesn't see

moon doesn't rise

But we do

each time

we watch

where we're going

somewhere beyond

destiny's favorite thought

4-16-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1362)

The past

paints

tomorrow

But if we let go of it

tomorrow

will have

no added colour

to make it complete

(and memories only sleep)

'93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1424)

This moment

is so close to perfect

that to make it so now

is

no more

than a simple

rearrangement of the way it is

with open door

as an invitation

for nature

to join

in too

'93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1498 C)

This life

like so many before

is but a shadow

of our selves

travelling at the speed of laughter

through the universe

on our way

to a fish and chip shop

the only planet

that sells them

4-18-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1497 B)

THE BIG BANG

WAS

JUST

A WHIMPER

COMPARED TO

WHEN WE MET

4-18-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1388)

I awoke before time began

before music

before thought

before silence erupted

into the beginning of now

with all the followers

still waiting to awake

4-18-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(298)

FORGOTTEN

FREEDOMS

FOUND

FROZEN

FAVOUR

FOREVER

FREE

4-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(228)

How good we are tomorrow

depends on how bad

we are today

4-18-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(284)

The flower of youth

blossomed

while I looked

the other way

now in memory

I return

to when my name

was the one called

in morning's sleepless desire

4-18-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1402)

Forgetfulness of now

took me back to when

I remember you

whispering to me

'never forget this moment

and it will last forever

somewhere in mind' Now I am a forgotten foreigner

forevermore

full of

forgetfulness

of now

4-18-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(228)

For every gate

that opens

a crowd cheers

I can't see

but I hear

as the melody of strangers

asking for change

like any weekend weather person would

9-18-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(218 B)

The only predictable future

we well

ever experience

is when we do

what we do

of what we chose to do

4-19-93 (936 B)

I couldn't

t wait

so I rushed toward

the open door...

only realizing there was no floor

on the other side

after my free-fall had begun

lucky for me

I carry a parachute everywhere

for just such an emergency

4-12-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(317 A)

In broken images

and meaningless dreams

the future is drafted

and superglued into place

4-19-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(554)

While breaking shackles off of

who we perceived we were to each other

we fell in love

with who we would have been

if broken shackles long ago

had shown us now - then

11-1-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1809 C)

While waiting for a new leader

humanity put on clean wool socks

and though it is true

everyone was as lost as ever

we all had warm feet

that didn't smell

and with over five billion people

that is what is important.

4-19-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1814 B)

Platonistic specialization

almost stopped love's integrating freedom

from taking flight

out of the mystic plagued night

that descended so long ago

but now nears its end

as we break the 2000 year old shackles

off of the slaves

we have been

4-9-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1204)Until just a moment ago

everything made sense

now

I will have to

start all over again

so I say it was logical

4-19-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1574 B)

In the silence of my memory

you whispered a song

we once danced too

under a spring filled song

in Golden Gate Park in 1967

And in closed eyes

I now disappear

into your long ago promise

'You'll never need anyone else but me'

But the ticking of my clock

the barking of the dog

my children yelling for dinner

makes me open my eyes

remembering

I hadn't thought of you

for at least 20 years

until now.

4-18-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(649 C)

I am moving to Saturn

where there is more room

more moons

it's a heavy place

the days are longer

and it takes 28 years to equal one year

so now

I can finally get all those things done

I always said I would

and go multi-moon gazing

with the ones I love

4-19-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(292)

today is better than yesterday

tomorrow will be worse

than last Friday

But next Tuesday

will make yesterday look sad

so there!

4-19-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1531 B)

Childhood spent

childhood saved

childhood's woven parts

superglued together to remember

the moment each piece was a part of something bigger

that went broom broom click click

tick tick like a clock

(that measured the passing days of childhood)

Children never grow old

they just sprout wings and fly away

returning now and then

to look at how everything

once was together

once was a part of a movement

once was a part of everything that really mattered

until

like sections of life they were reassembled

in a mosaic of memory

just abbreviations of symbolic wholes

where one piece represents

what was played with for weeks at a time

in the labyrinth of childhood

and now is but a collage

on one of the walls of my life.

4-19-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(106)

they've taken away

the walls

left me

with no boundaries

no blocked views

no hiding place

I roll up into a ball

and roll out into the open space

I never knew existed

until they took away my walls

4-20-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1465 B)

While stretching logic

like some do the truth

I noticed an empty explanation

in the corner of a theory that could have unified it all

so now I am proud to present

the X factor that will unify all of existence

that holds it all together

that was there at the Big Bang

and will be there at the Big Crunch

and the little nibbles afterwards

and wait for it

it is laughter

that holds it all together

Because it is true (I was there)

the beginning of this present universe

started with a sneeze in the middle of a laugh

and all the galaxies

are just droplets from that sneeze

4-20-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1811 B)

the meaning of aloha

(hello - goodbye)

changed when you never returned

4-20-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1410)

It is better

to seek agreement with ourselves

than solicit it from someone else

don't you agree?

4-20-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(682)

I liked last month so much

I didn't change the calendar

and that made me so happy

I decided to change it back

all the way to when we met

twenty years ago

when I was only a day younger

than I am now

according to my calendar

4-20-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(496)

I talk fast

because I have so much to say

while others listen slowly

so they don't have to hear it all

but that's o.k.

Because the words in between

seldom have much meaning

anyway

4-20-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(662 B)

...whether is is better

to be creative and poor

or rich and uncreative

I will know once I become rich

after I find

the most creative way to do it

4-20-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1809 A)

While putting things in order

I noticed how random

the galaxies were tossed about

and thought if they can do that

so can I and that is why\

everything looks so untidy

4-20-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1810 D)

I wanted to believe

what I used to

but reality

swept away the myths

But I remember the stories

and tell them to my children

who never believed them

to begin with

4-23-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(782 B)

There are over 5 billion people on the planet

and only one in this space

at this time in history

with these thoughts

and it will never occur again

4-21-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1429 B)

I thought it was

sounds of waves crashing upon the shore

waking me from sleep

But it was just my stomach

telling me to forget

my diet

and eat a snack

in rhythm to waves upon the shore

4-23-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(668)

All the strategy

of all the people of all time

can't stop the rising sun

or love, death, taxes, birth

all the philosophies, myths, beliefs

have not changed the colour of the sky

the size of a mountain

or anything much of all

which gives little meaning

to why

ham on rhyme

is better than tofu on sprouts

8-23-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(14 B)

It was as if

you knew all along

and had to wait

all these years

for me to realize

we have been together

in one form or another

since the beginning

4-24-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(735 B)

Even with

all the distraction

of these times

I managed

to deliver fax-free

in person

all my feelings for you

to you

and again tomorrow

too

4-24-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(178)

It was as if yesterday

never had ended

But was just put on pause

for us to experience today

so we could go back to it

tomorrow

again

4-24-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(734)

change creates love

love creates change

create to change

change to create

love to change

change to love

4-24-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(104)

So simple to please

so please be simple

and let complications melt

like I do

when we are one

4-20-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1342)

I wanted the last word

and that's why I'm still here

in the middle of time

and I'll be around at the end

if it too

just to have

the final say

4-24-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(776)

* 466 (12x12)

NEC

Just before God

went off on holiday

I asked if things would change

There was no answer

that was when I realized

God had left earlier

than anticipated

leaving us

in change

to sort out the mess

we're in

June 7 1993 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage868

*=465 11x11

NEC

In the fickle

realms of reality

meanings

are invented

as explanations

while in my world

where reality

is kept out by walls of gold

I am free

in the security

of illusion

and the realism of magic

cascading

through senses

that never were

to be included

in this world

but

and more ?

No! There was never meant to be anything but this

passing dreams

we have been

seduced by

8-7-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage580

* = 464

NEC

LIFE

IS SHORT AND STRANGE

LIKE

AN ANCIENT POEM

BUT

LIVES FOREVER

LIKE AN ANCIENT POEM

JUNE 8 93 894 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage110 VICTORIA STREET

not quite

but close enough to have a name

different

but up close it all looks the same

meanings

slip away before dawn's early reveal

your touch

for a moment was almost real

tomorrow

maybe longer

pattern upon pattern

assembled secrets

chant my name

who am I?

but just another not a name

lingering on the tip

of too many swallowed

meanings

and by listening once again

the whispering shadow

reveals

your touch made me real

7/28/93 110 Victoria Street (1134)

THE WHISPERING MIST

REVEALED

YOUR TOUCH MADE ME REAL

SO NO LONGER

A SHADOW TOO

I'D BE

7/28/93 100 Victoria Street (1486)

in Sarajevo, Belfast, Beirut, Victor Harbor, Los Angeles,

trees grow flowers bloom rain falls

doing what they've been governed to do always

like humans

fulfilling genetic destiny

to war, dispute, desire but never learn

and over looking nature

who will be and always has been unlike humans

who were created

for nature's amusement

and who will stay

until something better

can be created

(this time with some proper genes)

a few dawns

down the road

a few yawns

left in the mold

a few pawns

of nature's soul

then wooosh

only nature

left

humans

left

7/29/93 (614(

STARS SO FAR AWAY

take no notice of our daily

wants wishes

dreams desires

loves losses

games growths

problems possessions

beliefs bingo

troubles thoughts

adventures appreciations

families fortunes

But live their cycles

no matter what we do

like love

so far away

yet always

within sight

7/29/93 110 Victoria Street (1352)

Why only in my waking dream

before dawn's shadow stealing smile

do I find us

so wrapped together

like once we knew

but too soon forgot?

You not on the earth

me so imprisoned in this form

dreams link us when I am not quite here

And you so surely elsewhere

is memory playing with mirrors deep in my brain

this perfect hologram of you

reflecting our love forever

though where forever we will be one

I do not know

But you are there constantly

(except when I open my eyes

which I do less all the time in fear of losing you forever

before I find the way to you)

Handing out your smile

asking me to follow but I can't

the dawn came you left today alone

once again I am blind with my eyes open

7/29/93 110 Victoria Street (1818)

the proof I have

that much I had

to prove

is simple

I'm a man

born of hand-me-down-genes

explorers, conquerors, kings, lovers, saints, jesters

it's in the genes

fighter pilot, basketballer, rocker, movie star

it's in the dreams

today's dreams tomorrow's genes

the only proof

a man will ever need

7/29/93 110 Victoria Street (1424)

just as I wrote

in New Orleans, Paris

Honolulu, Fiji, Berlin

Sydney, Auckland, London Bangkok

And the places in between

I will write someday

in a space colony

flying past Mars

or on a moon of Jupiter

just as my ancestors

from caveman, to Plato, Jesus, King Arthur, handfuls of Kennedys

Don Juan-Don Quixote-Don Terrell

and the ones in between

I will write on and on and on

just as all men before me

'how doth I get me a woman tonight'

7/29/93 110 Victoria Street (868)

winter on parade

frozen

waitings

wanting

wonderful though weird

we

were

writing upon frozen consciousness

like human beliefs

frozen in place

for thousands of years

needing

a good nuclear winter

to start the cycle

over

once

again

7/30/93 110 victoria street (1816)

I had you in my dream

we made morning come

I had you in my dream

you gave birth to our shadow

I had you in my dream

safe-sex again this morning

7/29/93 110 Victoria Street (456)

while in a dream

silent mist's shadows

its illusive impulses

becoming incoming coming

wrapped by your desire

projected in astral illusions

I opened up you entered

took my body for a spin

around la Grand Palais

through la Arc de Triomphe

(where 'we' had a few in a nearby shadow)

then the disco

on Boulevard la Villette

where 'we' charged a night of pleasure

on my wife's credit cards

now awake me in my own body

back at the hotel

I try to explain to my wife

that it was not me on the all night carousel

as love's scents ooze out of my body

and my hoarse gin breath vainly whispers

but but but

it wasn't me I was asleep

while my body was being used

as all men's are in the final analysis

7/30 110 Victoria Street (1810)

The last time

I saw my love

was where she stood swaying in scented smile

selling her body

to passing relatives and friends

on her fund raising drive

to buy Bibles for the Russians

and provide low cost love

for the poor

july 31/93 110 Victoria Street

if all my heroes knew me

would they still believe

they were just

a mistake of nature

too?

7/31/93 110 Victoria street (342)

Too often

while meaning something else

the rain fell

the farmer cheered

sport fans jeered

Too often

while meaning something else

the waves swelled

fishermen ran ashore

surfers grabbed their boards

Too often

while meaning something else

I ask for love

but never for long

7/31/93 110 Victoria Street (1552)

The last time

I saw my love

was where she stood smiling

selling her body

to passing relatives and friends

on her fund raising drive

to buy Bibles for the Russians

and provide low cost love

for the poor

7-31-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell NeuageSA (1408)

While being slaves of love

men will never be free

to be possessed by nature

naturally

8/01 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1809 A)

men are born free

(according to the constitution)

but all women cost

(according to reality)

8-10-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(970)

contact made

like being one

past minutes

equalled

rolling forever

automatically

like thoughts once so sure

to find the reason

for this

is too

and

little

more

8-10-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(130)

While writing worthless rhymes

I fell off of a verbal

burble

and never found

my way back

8-01-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1815 B)

I met a man

whose stories came true

as soon as they were heard

I met a woman

whose songs came true

as soon as they were heard

I met a child

whose wishes came true

as soon as they were heard

But I've never met

anyone

who knew

how this

ends

August 11 93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(538)

Driven passion

leaps hurdles

forward thrusting

life changes

in blinks

faster than Pluto's stolen shadows

past burn fast

the new me

you see

is to be free

without thought

of patience

for the role

I once played

10-02-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(158)

While wishfully waiting

we watched where we were

sneak us into

last night's remembered touch

and while loosing control

lost in your breath

we disappeared

never to be seen again

11-03-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1815 A)

Like a new page of life

turned too many times

morning's misting memories

made me

remember you

when we galloped forests

to our allegoric lake

We rolled in laughing love

and captured fleeing passions

that never wanted flight

to begin with

Like now

in too many turned pages\

to remember

when first

we started over

this our allegoric night

11-04-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(906)

Asking answers' allegiance

while not

leaves outdoors there

11-05-93 V ictor Harbor (56)

SHOCKED!

Perception's reflected illusion

reversed reality

I couldn't see

But only beg

I couldn't feel

beliefs were all wrong

morning was night

flowers turned to seed

touch turned to stone

that made no words

I slept while awake

But IT was all a dream

this isn't

no longer

Shocked!

11-05-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1260)

forgotten foreign feelings

forged freedoms

final

fate

no longer here

11-6-93 (218 b)

without all the differences

there

would be

no picture

11-6-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1819 b)

In dawn's early revival

I cheered

to know

this show

I was part of

once again

11-6-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(559b)

While at centre stage

I changed my script

so this performance

you see

is but a change

I'm going through

11-6-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1809 a)

I won

I lost

I was

I am

11-06-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(856)

Changes came quickly before summer's settled passions

oaths were whispered as spring sown seeds settled passions

the times surely so seemingly sullen

would be remembered when now

would be read as ancient history

inventions failing prospering believers

found anything to hold onto gelatinous as first love

But there is the future no one knows everyone predicts

Though no one is quite correct

Touch my mind in pulled forth desires

dig deep death's dwindling demand

take changes

reshape nature's woken woven womb

whisper to the deaf

wave to the blind

walk with the lame

wake the dead

wonder what was where when no one was there

Fleeing freedom fondles the enslaved

shackles clasp the different

But for all the troubles

all the worries

all the struggles

That this all important tragedy firmly hangs onto

Nothing can be greater that to know some day

This moment will be viewed as but a hiccup in nature

when changes came quickly

and oaths were whispered only to never be harvested

The future came too fast to think of now as anything more

than a passing shadow eclipsed

11-6-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(104)

Your touch

the change

global warming

here to stay

11-17-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1900 - D)

initial surrender

lost time

borrowed destiny

controlled laughter

on we could go

choice so rare

or here stay

dwell; on

the whence

of it all

11-16-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(572)

I thought we could share the moment

as if it were

the last, the first, even forever

we'd be unleashed nature

watching humanity begging for rest

we would be the condemned's

final wish

the cry at birth

the anguish at the end

the fireworks at the completion

of the games

the ecstasy of every experience

pulsating in one Grand Moment

I would be your knight, love, knight, love, king, slave,

fool, hero...

even a new-age male

if such a perversion

was your wish

Oh! I'm sorry

you just were asking me what time it was

here, in front of the caulaflowers and parsley

at the supermarket

11-7-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(680)

Caught in between changes

without names

theories without masks

desires without dreams

caught in between voids

where changes create

voids

creating change

10-8-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(102)

Forgotten

once again

like watching life pass too quickly

without holding onto

passing reality

nothing comes to be forgotten

and a man in the last row

waves his hands and yells

"forgotten

I'm forgotten"

But no one hears him

as the crowds huddle together

trying to remember

what they had forgotten

11-9-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(218 b)

I tossed away meaning

like I do apple cores

But it's o.k.

the seeds will grow

and produce meaning

like I once did

before tossed away moments

were used for the landfill programme

at the edge of the swamp

to build skyscraping apartments

for people to sit in

wondering why there were so many memories

tossed about.

11-9-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(692)

So much the end here:

less likely futures' glimpse

echoes momentary freedom;

and here brought forth meaning

holds wind chimes'

rhyme

nature's time

the end falls

from sight

the past strips naked

and sun bathes alongside memory's reflected copulation

HEAR

so much the end.

11-18-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1332)

When the patterns changed

so much the end looked clear

everything was answered

time lost prescription space discovered dimension

all figured out the way it should be

why it never is I don't recall

each time a different ending

still the same

always far from the way it should be

if, all-figured-out

was true.

11-14-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1782)

While building on what went before

I saw tomorrow

glance around the corner

and thank me

for the foundations

for future's experience.

11-17-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1809)

Too late the thaw

when winter's open door

lays waste

hasty autumn's retreat

and ice slices

fields of harvest forgotten

too late too late

like life known

and frozen in winter's

crystal memory

waiting for spring

like every lover does

11-17-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1540)

While laughing at the changes

even making believe they weren't real

this moment took flight

with me in tow

And I have no intention of every returning

to say

these changes now

are anything more

than forever lost in flight.

11-17-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1810 A)

Each variation

is but an interpretation

of choice.

11-17-932 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(170)

While floating upon

thoughts of you

the world slipped away

leaving me to wonder

where'd I'd be

if I wasn't floating upon thoughts of you

11-18-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage((1809 C)

What we shared

even tomorrow will remember

flying free forever foreign feelings

while watching where we merge

as always we expected

we would

11-17-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1744)

Without appearing

repetitious

all I want to know is

have I presented before

what now

so often it seems I search

the touch

11-17-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1826)

WELL!

The point never was anything

anymore than not appearing

in changing beliefs:

Like a stunt actor

filling in

while this moment goes on

and I stay behind

11-16-93 (1684)

More like new morning

each thought of you becomes

11-17-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(974)

Surprised

the prize rises

but no one held their breath

the wind blew instead

in its tortured

swallowed way

surprise surprise

silently the moment explodes

ripping satin covered dreams

and ravaged virgin thoughts

Take; me

Give me

There is no exchange

when new born hope drowns

where too the end?

never knows who to tell

11-19-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1366)

Changes

like dreams

are programmes

synchronizing

who we'd be

if all we could be

was let free.

11-20-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(104)

Perception is just interpretation

And how I perceived you

when we met so long ago

is still the same

because

I never listened too

the world's interpretation

4-24-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1192)

For everything that became

in the way we thought it would

good on ya

and how'd it happen

so as to do it all again

today

4-25-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(218 B)

If I hadn't eaten tomorrow

there'd be something

for the rest of you all

to look forward to

but since there isn't

I'll take your praise today

and remember you well

tomorrow

4-27-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(374)

creativity is a natural

mutation of nature

free-will is its mutinous crew

and we

the passing strangers to this life,

the disillusioned captains

looking for a better course

4-27-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(136)

love is a bird

blown-away

on the first day of hunting season

4-25-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(948)

love is an experiment

that nature evolves with while

philosophy, religion, psychology

politics and the economy

are the stumbling blocks

after the hurdles

on the way

to love's tasteful experiment

4-27-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(956)

I take all the concepts

put forth in a philosopher's

life

and sum it up in a few lines

and feel good for all the trees saved

instead of explaining in volumes of books

'ain't she nice?

and that's why we're here folks...'

4-28-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(872 B)

The new empirical theory of blind love

is you and me

out-of-sight

out-of-mind

together

4-27-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1410)

While searching through

memories on file

I accessed the spring dawn

when we rose out of our selves

in tune to the sound of our breath

that echoes now

through a deep memory of long ago

and where are you now

4-27-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1811 B)

In forests of forgotten flavours forever forgives foreign freedom for fighting frozen memories

tonight

4-27-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(562)

The most creative moment of the day

is a moment before we awake

when the waking hours are designed

then hidden behind the screen of back-on-earth again

like when we were born

and to change that moment

would be to change

creation itself

which my dog told me

just before I awoke

this morning

that is not our lot to do

probably

4-27-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1410)

unlike other poets

who try to sound all flowery, rhyming, mystical, and abstract

I prefer to write down-to-earth-truck-driver's-poetry

like

'hey, where ya goin' baby?

how about some real lovin' tonight'

and no poet has ever said it

quite as beautiful as that.

4-27-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1573)

We began where we left off

only the century had changed

Now there are flying things

with people in them

and mechanical monsters

carrying the people

doing the work

yeap it was different

but we are the same

I suppose

everyone

really is

at night with the lights out

it could be 400 BC still

and you would taste just as good

4-27-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1630)

I went to count my money

like I once did my women

OH NO!

broke again

4-27-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(850 D)

full of worry

that missing you

would blind me

from starting over

with someone else

who someday I'd miss too

like I once did

and now worry

will never stop

you

4-27-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(234)

I showed everything I felt

lucky for me

the President said

it was just another

nuclear accident

4-27-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(649 G)

I waited to see if anything

would ever become of me

before accepting my fate

to be kind of all the local galaxies

4-27-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(772)

In my humble opinion

God should be

fired

4-27-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(566)

If we had stopped saying

this is too difficult

in 1777

let's go home for tea

we wouldn't be

watching today's battles

on the 6 o'clock news

4-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(418 B)

I was so sleepy

I slept standing up

while the world

lay on its side

watching

5-1-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(8

Like a cloud-free

wind strewn sea

I reached to be free

But a dawn hugged horizon

showed me

BOUND and ALONE

to WISHES and DREAMS

that filtered through

passing times

when voices believed

merged with my final thought

sinking

this wind stream sea

with me

gasping for a new philosophy

that made sense

to my drowning world.

6-2-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(898)

waiting for love

is like waiting for a computer to load

with so much memory

and functions

that no end is ever to be

unless it becomes unplugged

and has no back up batteries.

6-2-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1062)

So cold

sun so far away

night so close

of ever I'm warm again

I'll save it

at least

in memory

so that when I'm so cold anew

my memory will thaw

my frozen perceptions

that chill me so now

6-2-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1302)

if love

has to

be explained

it then is a philosophy

6-3-9 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(40)3

everything we do

is just a preliminary

for when

there is nothing

left to do

6-3-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(196)

I don't know why

can't explain it now

perhaps never will

but life never ends

only perceptions

of the moment end

like this verse

one line at a time

7-6-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(327 B)

Not enough time?

where'd it go ?

Not enough space?

who filled it up?

not enough love?

why'd they take more than their share?

painted greatness?

we ate the colours

trying to fill time

erase space

wash away loneliness

And that is why

I am here

you are not

7-6-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1130 B)

packaged feelings

on tour

your love

my souvenir

come again

like your smile

foreign visa

desire's passport

This is not the real me

I am just like this

because I'm on holiday

your touch

my souvenir

of packaged feelings

placed away

for a rainy day

when I'm without you.

6-7-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1182)

spent the day

sitting in a warm bubble bath

watching life's truths

ricochet off bubbles

unlike my children

Though I was being lazy

not making their meals

sewing clothes

cleaning house

But I worked very hard to find truths

here in the bubble bath

and the truth is

it is better in here

than out there.

8-7-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1342)

poems

like dreams

love

fantasies

and were never meant to be

translated

interpreted

realized

8-7-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1210)

Without amnesia

we can never

know youth's passion again

like a flower closed

would open again

if it chose

to break free

of what it perceived

to be its only way

to be

9-7-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1825 C)

I translated my feelings

for you

in so many ways

that I forgot

which language

you understand

and I'm left incoherent

like love is

7-9-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(720)

it was as if tomorrow had never had happened

and what

we were looking forward to

was yesterday

before time had yet to discover

liberality.

7-9-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(735 A)

The problem with my writing

is that it begins

before it ends

just like us

now

at our beginning

7-9-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1424 C)

stayed awake

when I went to sleep

to see

where dreams begin

and I discovered

the truth

dreams are televised broadcasts

from a planet of a neighboring star

and their electronic waves

always passing through the earth

are on the same frequency

as our dreams

so it's obvious that what we dream

is just so many soap opera

from a distant star

7-9-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1352 C)

Sitting side-saddled

on a shadow

should show

shades of substance

finally found

so fulfilled

But as times travel

so do shadows

never showing

which side

is best

like love

and the morning after

and shadows of fences

yet to hurdle

6-10-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1278)

I thought you were

someone else

than you are

You thought I was someone different

than I really am

so our someone else

got together and had a real good life

while the real you and me

have had a terrible time

being together

wondering why we weren't

someone else

together

6-9-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(680 B)

The good poets

write about

Zeus, buffaloes, dew, trees, morning

But since no real man

is really a poet

I write only about

nails, hammers, chopping trees,

footy, beer, and trucks

Because no one

wants sensitive

when they can be a man

6-10-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1402 C)

While waiting for fame

I lived and died

and left behind

nothing at all

Because I found fame

on a distant galaxy

that will last a lot longer

than this short lived galaxy

our short lived sun

spends its short life

shinning on

a short lived planet.

6-10-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1815 A)

Behind the mountains

Beyond the sea

in the depths we believed

Bright birth borrowed

tomorrow

thinking forever was a circle

now that we know better

we can rest easy

and live now

like we are

in the midst of forever

6-12-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(78)

The evolution of belief

brings little relief

when the beginning

is unknowable

until now

But for $4.95 plus $5.50 postage and handling

all the answers

will be questioned

and if you act now

a free match will be given

for evolution of belief

to return

to the ashes it first rose from

6-12-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1402 A)

while empty of thought

I caught

a meaningless pattern

shapeless as love

when first met

I placed it in a motionless container

while rain outside suspiciously fell

and wrote in a cloud above it

'Beware - meaningless pattern near'

but the rain erased my sign

and flooded my empty thoughts

So if I pretend to understand

and smile awhile

remember

so I won't have to next line

6-12-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage((1809 F)

To say what everyone wants to hear

like the great Australia statement

is the only reason

all else

will be fillers

until that time

6-13-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1552 B)

As complex

the future may be:

life will be simple

needs met

wishes answered

dreams controlled

with instant answers

perfect solutions

yet still no cure

for love

will exist

which is little

different

than

in the beginning

6-13-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(61 B)

Sun rises

rain falls

river flow

mountain sit

while the rest of us

run around in circles

sorting our selves out.

If we know something nature doesn't

should we say

'hey, we're humans

we got it all figured out'

or should we let nature

continue along

without our help

6-13-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1362 C)

Love like a sun rise

happens every day

but only if we're awake

do we experience it

6-13-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(956 C)

While swimming

to the end of this dream

I encountered reality

floating on top

in a bubble

but like all reality

it popped

on closer inspection

6-13-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1811 E)

Without words

without birds

we wouldn't know

a sentence in flight

And I would be unable

to say Mars is covered

with tomato soup

the moon was of green cheese

Venus - lettuce

and Pluto is made from tofu

(or) in general

we live in an edible section

of the milky way

but whether we are dessert

or the main course

I can not really say

6-13-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1819 H)

EMPTY

that is the only explanation

FULL

is the goal

LOST

is the way

pieces lay alongside the road

huddled together in hysteria

the state of the condition

is frozen within its code

laughter screams in baroque sonnets

it will be o.k.

it will be o.k.

the earth will shatter at mid-day

splintered with all its wisdom

art, poetry and good sex

into so many empty pieces

by some love lost comet

and no one will know

that once we cared

6-15-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(176)

Final moments exit

in rhythm to echoes

of a pulsar

at the end of our small universe

but no one knows why

we're so off-key

and nature isn't

6-15-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(212)

to understand

is to not to believe

6-15-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1560)

while getting in touch with my feelings

I tripped over reason

fell in love

and broke my heart

now in hospital

I was given plastic surgery

and though I now look like

a shadow of myself

at least I'm in touch

with myself

6-15-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1809 I)

For the first time

with no reason in sight

we were free

to be ourself

6-16-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(218 E)

while waiting for the right moment

nothing happened

and that was the right

moment

6-16-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1815 A)

Today passed with little importance

and so was added

to a pile of yesterdays

and sent to

a far corner of the universe

to be recycled

as important days

for the inhabitants

of a distant planet

who live forever

on our discarded memories

6-16-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1531 C)

As far as dreams can go

we will find

the end

to where

what

will

we

want

with

what we want

where we were

when we were

who?

6-17-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(61 B)

Countless times I stayed awake

to worry about

what would happen

only to find

everything changed

so much

I couldn't keep up

with worrying

so now

like the endless line

of pine trees on the edge of town

wondering whether

they will become tooth picks

firewood

a book of poems

or a Christmas tree

I wonder

too.

6-17-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1166)

I wrote yesterday

for today

forgetting it is me

and not time

that doesn't change

but stays the same

at least in thought

6-17-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(860)

I took all the mistakes

ever I made

and lined them up

they reached to the moon

and now I will walk on them

and bring back some

green cheese and market it

Before anyone else

gets the chance

6-17-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(686)

It has always been

how to start

that has puzzled

and baffled

everyone so long

But not me

because I never start

6-19-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(663 B)

Passions flame

quickly came

like youthful desire

burns in the fire

turns to ash

then to dash

off into age

another page

is turned

past burned

and the future is remembered

before it is experienced

while where we had been

is left like so many ruffled leaves

7-1-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1186 B)

The fools have died again

traded their life

for a belief

fought wars to protect dreams

crucified themselves for faith

sacrificed their lives

thought we all cared

those left behind

playing at the casinos

dancing at the discos

tasting love along the shore

they don't care

what the dead believe

while they lay bleeding

with some noble delusion\

floating in their head

we the living are the heroes

because we knew enough

not to fight the losing battle

that death always is

7-1-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1402)

Death loves nature

in cycles of birth

nourishing eternal sleep

society endures suffering

and calls it purpose

the reason to continue

for lessons to learn

then quickly forgotten

when death loving nature

takes one's final breath

so to suffer si so wrong

to love one forever will never be

right morals and happy thoughts die too

when death loving nature

takes the final breath that had happened

for something more

at the end of this life

than a grave that no one can ever free

themselves from

neither to walk heaven's golden streets

or sweat hell's guilty flames

7-1-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(144)

What is poem if not to question?

Written in stops and gaps

unlike nature flowing free

who but man would sentences leave unfinished?

to toss about words

like a juggler at the matinee?

what is poem

but meaning gone astray?

waiting for the best minds to pick up

the content and bury the metre and rhymes

and name themselves critics

while expecting a good wage

to tell what the poverty struck poet

really was saying

Because he was to daft

to make it clear to begin with

and too lazy

to get a proper means of support to begin with

for what is poem

but an abbreviated excuse

to begin with

7-1-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1738 B)

Funeral are for the living

the dead will not see the roses and tulips picked

waiting to wilt and die

on a casket made for the living

What a waste the dead are

filling cemeteries

where skyscrapers of offices and frenzied secretaries

or a freeway or a new bowling alley

could be put in place instead

Shame on the dead

leaving bodies to pollute the world and take up valuable space

the dead are gone

leave 'em be

why?

when I die I wouldn't be her any longer

take my body

the good parts give 'em to someone alive

and the rest feed to the lions

at Central Park Zoo

for once long ago

I was a Christian and the lions still remember

when I am dead and all this is left

is my crying children and scribbled poems

do not wrap my death and fill the ground

to shelter my bones

because funerals are for the living

the dead are too far away and sound asleep

to ever care

7-2-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(234 B)

The life she made

the life she lived

thoughts no one else dared to possess

love to desire's full extent

children born children raised

hopes and dreams

some even fulfilled

years and years

life's toil

it was all headed somewhere

until a robber stabbed her

she dies on the subway platform amidst rush hour traffic

people rush by

stepping over a life no more

to get home

in time for dinner and evening t.v.

not wishing th think

tomorrow it could be them

stabbed to death for a few dollars

the sum value of one's life

to a passing stranger

a few dollars

the price of a cheap bottle of wine

drunk in haste over a life once so full

7-2-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1408)

We slipped away

between the rain and bridge

and memories of before

along mirrored streets

in pregnant whispers

we wanted to hide behind today

and jump out and surprise a future

the wind was strong

I felt your heart beat inside my breast

if only we could be longer than this passing storm

I would lie with you in the rain

until memories died of exhaustion

then we'd float away

like we've done every time before

7-6-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1702)

We played in words

juggled meanings

contested emotions

And still I wanted you to know

I wanted you so

But there were no oscars or trophies

for unknown acts

feelings came feelings left

But I never could keep straight

which one was the right one

Now you're gone

Now I'm not

Now

the words play off of my performance

just like once they did when meaning made sense

and the game was to be played not to be lost

but to be shared before too late

changed all to this past

that will always be

just apart of a part

and never again

an all

like us

again now

7-6-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1694)

We camped in childhood

well away from who we'd be

when the world

would want more than

what we were

when wooded wishes

were so real

7-17-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1636)

In love

the game

is to be played

not to be lost

7-6-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(564)

When at last

we take our mask off

is it not strange

that at that moment

our life ends

7-17-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1746)

When first hot and bubble filled

like before birth

if I could imagine such

when news is someone else's life

war, discovery, money, sex, hunger

the precise media

shocking a concise audience once again

"oh the way things are

what will become of it all?"

take me back to the slavery of the womb

or at least this hot bubble bath

where I lay in evolution's start

was it not out of a warm bubble bath

that life first emerged?

I understand

we are sorry Sarajevo, Belfast, Lebanon, LA,

City Streets everywhere

The South will rise again

out of a warm bubble bath

But for now like in the beginning

and to be at the end

I wash my genes

I soak my soul

I merge quickly before the water turns cold

and the bubbles disappear

like death does

when life reappears

7-17-93 7-17-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1748)

Your guess

is as good as mine

and every human ever to guess

7-17-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1886)

My reality is another's nightmare

my dreams

someone else's reality

7-17-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(998)

I came to this world in my body

and I will leave without it

the meaning of which

if only I knew

I'd be the wises of all people

the starter of a religion

the leader of every follower

the host of my own t.v. show

just like Jesus and all the rest were

A superstar

a living legend

with the philosophy

to match

7-17-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(311 E)

Plato if you discovered death was but a change

and came back to earth with no memory of pasts

would you believe again what once you lied

or would you be a common hooker

standing at the corner of Hollywood and Vine

like all the other greats throughout history

have done at one time or another

and I've seen them all waiting for a trick

like before Emerson, Arthur, Jesus, Aristotle, Einstein,

Jung, Mary, Joan of Arc, the saints

philosophers. poets and artists

T they all taken their turns

selling themselves for a few coins

not knowing once they had known the way

to get so many to believe

when nature used them

like the world does no

so well

7-18-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1203 B)

with a day gone by

to have nothing to remember it by

is to have it go by without ever having been

but to cast a poem

plot a painting

network a joke worldwide

on a bulletin-board

is to access interactively nature's

transparent lines

is to bond in memory

forever

that there was more

to the day

than the passing wind

7-20-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1819 C)

everything was put aside

giving a clean slate

like birth

new impressions were everywhere

old interpretations

like in a philosophical amnesic

surprised

even reason made sense

though feelings still didn't

and everything is now so new

and exploratively different

that

(and it sounds so radical)

I can

(justifiably)

write

(without shock)

the END

and know it is only the beginning.

7-22-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(194)

I dreamt

of a moment like this

now

if only

I could recall

what happened

it would be so sensible

7-22-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(335 B)

everything

every moment

every thought

is to be grand

the ultimate

what everything

was done for

while all before

was little more

than the step to now

like winter to spring is

7-22-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(192)

While exploring every thought ever had

I was amazed to discover

they were all edible

and luckily

calorie free

like rain

which has reflected

the world as it travelled

to earth

so far

7-22-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1809 F)

As we dreamt

in anticipation

of what waking would be

life separated

leaving us

in dream

for evermore

7-23-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(62 B)

Close to the end

meanings so poignant

that the thought will last a thousand years if not more

If God came to earth 2000 years ago

wow!

why didn't he make a video of it?

why go through the dark ages

(the years before television)

without seeing the way it was

why didn't the crusaders

have land Rovers and laser weapons?

Why didn't Jesus use a microwave oven?

to warm the food for the 500,000 at Woodstock?

Why didn't Caesar become a game-show host?

Why walk on water when one can use a hover craft and skim the top?

who changed the water to wine to blood

at Sarajevo, Belfast, La and in the Townships?

Why didn't the twelve disciples

form a baseball team instead of just getting stoned?

Why didn't the Church build football stadiums instead of churches?

Why would one leave the job of making billions of suns - many with

earth like planets - and come to our earth?

Well it is all so obvious

God did leave videos

and when they are discovered (beneath my house)

I can say

'see I told you so'

7-25-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(118)

When what was expected

drowned in the rain

covered by an avalanche

blown away be reality

believe in the immense energy

involved

to make so much expected

be but a fart in time

7-28-93 (1800)

I've worked so hard

to become everything

I never wanted to be

that if

what I wanted

happened

ever

no longer would I know

would you?

7-28-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(766)

as if endings really were:

Like stepping out of circles

abandoning cycles

spirals

lateralness can only operate in a circle

(giving it the new age illusions we love to share)

leaves no end

beginnings don't struggle

only aborted consciousness does

leaving returning

defining

refining

mouths opened wide

everything ever said is wrong

everything ever written false

every love has been scared

the end now is nothing more

but a return on the circle

to doing it all wrong once again

7-28-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(61 B)

Morning swallowed

my dreams

made me hungry

to see if

they'd come true

like everything else

I believe in

does

5-1-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(978)

At the beginning

when all there was

was already there

waiting to be put together

like you and me

and the galaxies

too

5-1-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(64)

I was so sleepy

I slept standing up

while the world

lay on its side

watching

5-1-93 (838)

the reason

we are here

is because dawn

doesn't want to

come alone

5-1-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1430)

like steps through history

or a wander through dreams

today's beliefs,efs

grew out of yesterday's crumbled ideologies

for tomorrow's

individual freedom

finally won

to take wings

never to land again

5-1-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(916)

I learned shorthand

speed reading

computerization

experienced Paris in a day

read 'Readers Digest'

condensed pasteurized homogenized great novels

and watched history of civilization

but time stood still

when your touch

became so

involved

5-1-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(492)

I concentrated so hard

on this moment

that yesterday and tomorrow disappeared

now

like neapolitan ice cream

melted

contains the former and the latter

in a future past tense

that has no ease

of

explanation

in this moment

5-1-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(316 C)

There is little difference

between you and me

except that I am conscious

of the little difference

(even calling them my own)

and you see them

being but variations

of your greater self

5-1-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1430 D)

This life goes so fast

that when I die

I will need

a thousand years

to review all that happened

in this life

5-1-93 (1508)

The continuous pouring out

of creativity

fueled forever's freedom's

perceptual persuasion's performance

reflected perfectly

for me

to

know

5-1-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1394)

I wouldn't want to live on Venus

because there are no trees

nor on Mars with its lack of flowers

and there is no chocolate on Jupiter

or ice cream on Mercury

while on earth

everything I want

is between the sea

the trees

and the shopping mall.

5-1-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(858)

If I knew how to write

a poem

I would

if I knew how to sing

I would

If I could dance, take photos

paint or tell your future

I would

But all I can do

is build you a castle

in the sand

and offer it to you

before the sea

take it from me

5-1-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(376)

the reason

we don't have wings

is because we don't have to fly north

for the winter

But can stay all winter-warm

wrapped in each other's

warmth

5-1-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(946)

The reason

we keep coming to earth

is to learn to stop dying

but we keep

getting into the Plato trap

of this is it

why keep going

5-5-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(946 C)

Not every time

is everything

going to be

the way it is

at other times

But instead

like any spinning top everything gets a chance\

to be close at hand

again

if we see

5-5-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1130 C)

We rush through life

like we're in a hurry

to get to the end

not knowing what it is

except that

it will be different

than the rush through

this life is

5-593 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1768)

I write

for the same reasons

a bird flies

far from an oil slick

a whale stays away

from a stream

and buffaloes avoid mountains

I write only

to find these answers

that everyone else

already knows

5-5-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(858)

y

just a thought away

from not believing anymore

then to disappear

without a thought in mind

or to live forever

if we wish to believe

that

But where ever it is

what we do

forever is created

with what is believed

now.

4-14-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1660)

Sharing quietly

passing perceived thought

only to be

received

through foggy receptors

like speaking

the same words

some other language

5-17-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1254)

too many dreams?

not enough time awake

to make

them

come

true

5-17-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1568)

The thought

we go to sleep in

dream in

wake

in

is in

side

but if it wasn't

we'd

sleep

dream

wake

in

side

the

same thought

like when giving birth

to a dream

5-17-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1462)

Like in any dream

giving birth

only changes

after

waking

5-17-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(914)

On the 8th day

God wrote a poem

on the 9th

some people were created

to read it

But they couldn't

so every day after more folks

were made

so now each person on earth

represents on year

since the poem was written

and that's how long ago God wrote the poem

and since no one

as yet has read it

we are all still muddled up

trying to read

something so basic

as a poem

5-18-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1166)

While stopping for awhile

like a passing smile

captures a moment's trial

standing in single file

I noticed what was the same

was each ending

like life

and every dream that follows

5-18-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1942)

Importance is an attribute

slippeWhile pushing past the limits once believed

I tossed away bewilderment with

'I don't think it is possible'

touching space and understanding it too

so that all achievments until now

were nothing more

than cave paintings

just some muddled hieroglyphics

like old age without reason

But that's all behind

back in humanity's nursery book stage

Freedom is the real frontier

with fear of guilt and misplaced beliefs

being the savage native

hiding in the psychic

waiting to attack free thinking

with primitive weapons

of guilt, fear, and mysticism

But it is too late

freedom to know will conquer

and push the only true-value frontier open

so every universe

without secret

is left bare

to enter

and have

4/9/93 Good Friday Poem - Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1810 C)

In change

dreams come awake

in sameness

dreams go to sleep.

4-12-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(558)

Desire is the slave

of freedom

4-13-92 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(155 b)

if everyone knew

what I know now

holy cow

I'd be out the door

for ever more

that's for sure

But I'm not

so here I am

waiting for more

outside your door

4-14-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(350)

In chosen images

beliefs reveal

what is real

like this moment does

rising over a new horizon

in unsettled times

where seas

pierce clouded evenings

tranquil message

of what is believed,

and in tomorrow like again today

the future's past

reveals secret's timely wish's desire

held like forever's reflection in today

again found to be

everything worth waiting for

so as to say

yes it was as real

as ever it was meant to be.

4-16-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(558)

In ancient thought

beyond reason's pillars

everyone came together

to predict the future

in Diana's shower

But they turned on the video

and forgot to leave behind

much more

than our ancient interpretation

in times

that dispels

all

(554)

Sun doesn't see

moon doesn't rise

But we do

each time

we watch

where we're going

somewhere beyond

destiny's favorite thought

4-16-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1362)

The past

paints

tomorrow

But if we let go of it

tomorrow

will have

no added colour

to make it complete

(and memories only sleep)

'93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1424)

This moment

is so close to perfect

that to make it so now

is

no more

than a simple

rearrangement of the way it is

with open door

as an invitation

for nature

to join

in too

'93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1498 C)

This life

like so many before

is but a shadow

of our selves

travelling at the speed of laughter

through the universe

on our way

to a fish and chip shop

the only planet

that sells them

4-18-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1497 B)

THE BIG BANG

WAS

JUST

A WHIMPER

COMPARED TO

WHEN WE MET

4-18-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1388)

I awoke before time began

before music

before thought

before silence erupted

into the beginning of now

with all the followers

still waiting to awake

4-18-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(298)

FORGOTTEN

FREEDOMS

FOUND

FROZEN

FAVOUR

FOREVER

FREE

4-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(228)

How good we are tomorrow

depends on how bad

we are today

4-18-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(284)

The flower of youth

blossomed

while I looked

the other way

now in memory

I return

to when my name

was the one called

in morning's sleepless desire

4-18-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1402)

Forgetfulness of now

took me back to when

I remember you

whispering to me

'never forget this moment

and it will last forever

somewhere in mind' Now I am a forgotten foreigner

forevermore

full of

forgetfulness

of now

4-18-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(228)

For every gate

that opens

a crowd cheers

I can't see

but I hear

as the melody of strangers

asking for change

like any weekend weather person would

9-18-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(218 B)

The only predictable future

we well

ever experience

is when we do

what we do

of what we chose to do

4-19-93 (936 B)

I couldn't

t wait

so I rushed toward

the open door...

only realizing there was no floor

on the other side

after my free-fall had begun

lucky for me

I carry a parachute everywhere

for just such an emergency

4-12-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(317 A)

In broken images

and meaningless dreams

the future is drafted

and superglued into place

4-19-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(554)

While breaking shackles off of

who we perceived we were to each other

we fell in love

with who we would have been

if broken shackles long ago

had shown us now - then

11-1-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1809 C)

While waiting for a new leader

humanity put on clean wool socks

and though it is true

everyone was as lost as ever

we all had warm feet

that didn't smell

and with over five billion people

that is what is important.

4-19-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1814 B)

Platonistic specialization

almost stopped love's integrating freedom

from taking flight

out of the mystic plagued night

that descended so long ago

but now nears its end

as we break the 2000 year old shackles

off of the slaves

we have been

4-9-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1204)Until just a moment ago

everything made sense

now

I will have to

start all over again

so I say it was logical

4-19-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1574 B)

In the silence of my memory

you whispered a song

we once danced too

under a spring filled song

in Golden Gate Park in 1967

And in closed eyes

I now disappear

into your long ago promise

'You'll never need anyone else but me'

But the ticking of my clock

the barking of the dog

my children yelling for dinner

makes me open my eyes

remembering

I hadn't thought of you

for at least 20 years

until now.

4-18-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(649 C)

I am moving to Saturn

where there is more room

more moons

it's a heavy place

the days are longer

and it takes 28 years to equal one year

so now

I can finally get all those things done

I always said I would

and go multi-moon gazing

with the ones I love

4-19-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(292)

today is better than yesterday

tomorrow will be worse

than last Friday

But next Tuesday

will make yesterday look sad

so there!

4-19-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1531 B)

Childhood spent

childhood saved

childhood's woven parts

superglued together to remember

the moment each piece was a part of something bigger

that went broom broom click click

tick tick like a clock

(that measured the passing days of childhood)

Children never grow old

they just sprout wings and fly away

returning now and then

to look at how everything

once was together

once was a part of a movement

once was a part of everything that really mattered

until

like sections of life they were reassembled

in a mosaic of memory

just abbreviations of symbolic wholes

where one piece represents

what was played with for weeks at a time

in the labyrinth of childhood

and now is but a collage

on one of the walls of my life.

4-19-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(106)

they've taken away

the walls

left me

with no boundaries

no blocked views

no hiding place

I roll up into a ball

and roll out into the open space

I never knew existed

until they took away my walls

4-20-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1465 B)

While stretching logic

like some do the truth

I noticed an empty explanation

in the corner of a theory that could have unified it all

so now I am proud to present

the X factor that will unify all of existence

that holds it all together

that was there at the Big Bang

and will be there at the Big Crunch

and the little nibbles afterwards

and wait for it

it is laughter

that holds it all together

Because it is true (I was there)

the beginning of this present universe

started with a sneeze in the middle of a laugh

and all the galaxies

are just droplets from that sneeze

4-20-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1811 B)

the meaning of aloha

(hello - goodbye)

changed when you never returned

4-20-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1410)

It is better

to seek agreement with ourselves

than solicit it from someone else

don't you agree?

4-20-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(682)

I liked last month so much

I didn't change the calendar

and that made me so happy

I decided to change it back

all the way to when we met

twenty years ago

when I was only a day younger

than I am now

according to my calendar

4-20-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(496)

I talk fast

because I have so much to say

while others listen slowly

so they don't have to hear it all

but that's o.k.

Because the words in between

seldom have much meaning

anyway

4-20-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(662 B)

...whether is is better

to be creative and poor

or rich and uncreative

I will know once I become rich

after I find

the most creative way to do it

4-20-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1809 A)

While putting things in order

I noticed how random

the galaxies were tossed about

and thought if they can do that

so can I and that is why\

everything looks so untidy

4-20-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1810 D)

I wanted to believe

what I used to

but reality

swept away the myths

But I remember the stories

and tell them to my children

who never believed them

to begin with

4-23-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(782 B)

There are over 5 billion people on the planet

and only one in this space

at this time in history

with these thoughts

and it will never occur again

4-21-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1429 B)

I thought it was

sounds of waves crashing upon the shore

waking me from sleep

But it was just my stomach

telling me to forget

my diet

and eat a snack

in rhythm to waves upon the shore

4-23-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(668)

All the strategy

of all the people of all time

can't stop the rising sun

or love, death, taxes, birth

all the philosophies, myths, beliefs

have not changed the colour of the sky

the size of a mountain

or anything much of all

which gives little meaning

to why

ham on rhyme

is better than tofu on sprouts

8-23-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(14 B)

It was as if

you knew all along

and had to wait

all these years

for me to realize

we have been together

in one form or another

since the beginning

4-24-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(735 B)

Even with

all the distraction

of these times

I managed

to deliver fax-free

in person

all my feelings for you

to you

and again tomorrow

too

4-24-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(178)

It was as if yesterday

never had ended

But was just put on pause

for us to experience today

so we could go back to it

tomorrow

again

4-24-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(734)

change creates love

love creates change

create to change

change to create

love to change

change to love

4-24-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(104)

So simple to please

so please be simple

and let complications melt

like I do

when we are one

4-20-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1342)

I wanted the last word

and that's why I'm still here

in the middle of time

and I'll be around at the end

if it too

just to have

the final say

4-24-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(776)

* 466 (12x12)

NEC

Just before God

went off on holiday

I asked if things would change

There was no answer

that was when I realized

God had left earlier

than anticipated

leaving us

in change

to sort out the mess

we're in

June 7 1993 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage868

*=465 11x11

NEC

In the fickle

realms of reality

meanings

are invented

as explanations

while in my world

where reality

is kept out by walls of gold

I am free

in the security

of illusion

and the realism of magic

cascading

through senses

that never were

to be included

in this world

but

and more ?

No! There was never meant to be anything but this

passing dreams

we have been

seduced by

8-7-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage580

* = 464

NEC

LIFE

IS SHORT AND STRANGE

LIKE

AN ANCIENT POEM

BUT

LIVES FOREVER

LIKE AN ANCIENT POEM

JUNE 8 93 894 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage110 VICTORIA STREET

not quite

but close enough to have a name

different

but up close it all looks the same

meanings

slip away before dawn's early reveal

your touch

for a moment was almost real

tomorrow

maybe longer

pattern upon pattern

assembled secrets

chant my name

who am I?

but just another not a name

lingering on the tip

of too many swallowed

meanings

and by listening once again

the whispering shadow

reveals

your touch made me real

7/28/93 110 Victoria Street (1134)

THE WHISPERING MIST

REVEALED

YOUR TOUCH MADE ME REAL

SO NO LONGER

A SHADOW TOO

I'D BE

7/28/93 100 Victoria Street (1486)

in Sarajevo, Belfast, Beirut, Victor Harbor, Los Angeles,

trees grow flowers bloom rain falls

doing what they've been governed to do always

like humans

fulfilling genetic destiny

to war, dispute, desire but never learn

and over looking nature

who will be and always has been unlike humans

who were created

for nature's amusement

and who will stay

until something better

can be created

(this time with some proper genes)

a few dawns

down the road

a few yawns

left in the mold

a few pawns

of nature's soul

then wooosh

only nature

left

humans

left

7/29/93 (614(

STARS SO FAR AWAY

take no notice of our daily

wants wishes

dreams desires

loves losses

games growths

problems possessions

beliefs bingo

troubles thoughts

adventures appreciations

families fortunes

But live their cycles

no matter what we do

like love

so far away

yet always

within sight

7/29/93 110 Victoria Street (1352)

Why only in my waking dream

before dawn's shadow stealing smile

do I find us

so wrapped together

like once we knew

but too soon forgot?

You not on the earth

me so imprisoned in this form

dreams link us when I am not quite here

And you so surely elsewhere

is memory playing with mirrors deep in my brain

this perfect hologram of you

reflecting our love forever

though where forever we will be one

I do not know

But you are there constantly

(except when I open my eyes

which I do less all the time in fear of losing you forever

before I find the way to you)

Handing out your smile

asking me to follow but I can't

the dawn came you left today alone

once again I am blind with my eyes open

7/29/93 110 Victoria Street (1818)

the proof I have

that much I had

to prove

is simple

I'm a man

born of hand-me-down-genes

explorers, conquerors, kings, lovers, saints, jesters

it's in the genes

fighter pilot, basketballer, rocker, movie star

it's in the dreams

today's dreams tomorrow's genes

the only proof

a man will ever need

7/29/93 110 Victoria Street (1424)

just as I wrote

in New Orleans, Paris

Honolulu, Fiji, Berlin

Sydney, Auckland, London Bangkok

And the places in between

I will write someday

in a space colony

flying past Mars

or on a moon of Jupiter

just as my ancestors

from caveman, to Plato, Jesus, King Arthur, handfuls of Kennedys

Don Juan-Don Quixote-Don Terrell

and the ones in between

I will write on and on and on

just as all men before me

'how doth I get me a woman tonight'

7/29/93 110 Victoria Street (868)

winter on parade

frozen

waitings

wanting

wonderful though weird

we

were

writing upon frozen consciousness

like human beliefs

frozen in place

for thousands of years

needing

a good nuclear winter

to start the cycle

over

once

again

7/30/93 110 victoria street (1816)

I had you in my dream

we made morning come

I had you in my dream

you gave birth to our shadow

I had you in my dream

safe-sex again this morning

7/29/93 110 Victoria Street (456)

while in a dream

silent mist's shadows

its illusive impulses

becoming incoming coming

wrapped by your desire

projected in astral illusions

I opened up you entered

took my body for a spin

around la Grand Palais

through la Arc de Triomphe

(where 'we' had a few in a nearby shadow)

then the disco

on Boulevard la Villette

where 'we' charged a night of pleasure

on my wife's credit cards

now awake me in my own body

back at the hotel

I try to explain to my wife

that it was not me on the all night carousel

as love's scents ooze out of my body

and my hoarse gin breath vainly whispers

but but but

it wasn't me I was asleep

while my body was being used

as all men's are in the final analysis

7/30 110 Victoria Street (1810)

The last time

I saw my love

was where she stood swaying in scented smile

selling her body

to passing relatives and friends

on her fund raising drive

to buy Bibles for the Russians

and provide low cost love

for the poor

july 31/93 110 Victoria Street

if all my heroes knew me

would they still believe

they were just

a mistake of nature

too?

7/31/93 110 Victoria street (342)

Too often

while meaning something else

the rain fell

the farmer cheered

sport fans jeered

Too often

while meaning something else

the waves swelled

fishermen ran ashore

surfers grabbed their boards

Too often

while meaning something else

I ask for love

but never for long

7/31/93 110 Victoria Street (1552)

The last time

I saw my love

was where she stood smiling

selling her body

to passing relatives and friends

on her fund raising drive

to buy Bibles for the Russians

and provide low cost love

for the poor

7-31-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell NeuageSA (1408)

While being slaves of love

men will never be free

to be possessed by nature

naturally

8/01 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1809 A)

men are born free

(according to the constitution)

but all women cost

(according to reality)

8-10-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(970)

contact made

like being one

past minutes

equalled

rolling forever

automatically

like thoughts once so sure

to find the reason

for this

is too

and

little

more

8-10-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(130)

While writing worthless rhymes

I fell off of a verbal

burble

and never found

my way back

8-01-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1815 B)

I met a man

whose stories came true

as soon as they were heard

I met a woman

whose songs came true

as soon as they were heard

I met a child

whose wishes came true

as soon as they were heard

But I've never met

anyone

who knew

how this

ends

August 11 93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(538)

Driven passion

leaps hurdles

forward thrusting

life changes

in blinks

faster than Pluto's stolen shadows

past burn fast

the new me

you see

is to be free

without thought

of patience

for the role

I once played

10-02-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(158)

While wishfully waiting

we watched where we were

sneak us into

last night's remembered touch

and while loosing control

lost in your breath

we disappeared

never to be seen again

11-03-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1815 A)

Like a new page of life

turned too many times

morning's misting memories

made me

remember you

when we galloped forests

to our allegoric lake

We rolled in laughing love

and captured fleeing passions

that never wanted flight

to begin with

Like now

in too many turned pages\

to remember

when first

we started over

this our allegoric night

11-04-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(906)

Asking answers' allegiance

while not

leaves outdoors there

11-05-93 V ictor Harbor (56)

SHOCKED!

Perception's reflected illusion

reversed reality

I couldn't see

But only beg

I couldn't feel

beliefs were all wrong

morning was night

flowers turned to seed

touch turned to stone

that made no words

I slept while awake

But IT was all a dream

this isn't

no longer

Shocked!

11-05-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1260)

forgotten foreign feelings

forged freedoms

final

fate

no longer here

11-6-93 (218 b)

without all the differences

there

would be

no picture

11-6-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1819 b)

In dawn's early revival

I cheered

to know

this show

I was part of

once again

11-6-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(559b)

While at centre stage

I changed my script

so this performance

you see

is but a change

I'm going through

11-6-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1809 a)

I won

I lost

I was

I am

11-06-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(856)

Changes came quickly before summer's settled passions

oaths were whispered as spring sown seeds settled passions

the times surely so seemingly sullen

would be remembered when now

would be read as ancient history

inventions failing prospering believers

found anything to hold onto gelatinous as first love

But there is the future no one knows everyone predicts

Though no one is quite correct

Touch my mind in pulled forth desires

dig deep death's dwindling demand

take changes

reshape nature's woken woven womb

whisper to the deaf

wave to the blind

walk with the lame

wake the dead

wonder what was where when no one was there

Fleeing freedom fondles the enslaved

shackles clasp the different

But for all the troubles

all the worries

all the struggles

That this all important tragedy firmly hangs onto

Nothing can be greater that to know some day

This moment will be viewed as but a hiccup in nature

when changes came quickly

and oaths were whispered only to never be harvested

The future came too fast to think of now as anything more

than a passing shadow eclipsed

11-6-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(104)

Your touch

the change

global warming

here to stay

11-17-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1900 - D)

initial surrender

lost time

borrowed destiny

controlled laughter

on we could go

choice so rare

or here stay

dwell; on

the whence

of it all

11-16-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(572)

I thought we could share the moment

as if it were

the last, the first, even forever

we'd be unleashed nature

watching humanity begging for rest

we would be the condemned's

final wish

the cry at birth

the anguish at the end

the fireworks at the completion

of the games

the ecstasy of every experience

pulsating in one Grand Moment

I would be your knight, love, knight, love, king, slave,

fool, hero...

even a new-age male

if such a perversion

was your wish

Oh! I'm sorry

you just were asking me what time it was

here, in front of the caulaflowers and parsley

at the supermarket

11-7-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(680)

Caught in between changes

without names

theories without masks

desires without dreams

caught in between voids

where changes create

voids

creating change

10-8-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(102)

Forgotten

once again

like watching life pass too quickly

without holding onto

passing reality

nothing comes to be forgotten

and a man in the last row

waves his hands and yells

"forgotten

I'm forgotten"

But no one hears him

as the crowds huddle together

trying to remember

what they had forgotten

11-9-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(218 b)

I tossed away meaning

like I do apple cores

But it's o.k.

the seeds will grow

and produce meaning

like I once did

before tossed away moments

were used for the landfill programme

at the edge of the swamp

to build skyscraping apartments

for people to sit in

wondering why there were so many memories

tossed about.

11-9-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(692)

So much the end here:

less likely futures' glimpse

echoes momentary freedom;

and here brought forth meaning

holds wind chimes'

rhyme

nature's time

the end falls

from sight

the past strips naked

and sun bathes alongside memory's reflected copulation

HEAR

so much the end.

11-18-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1332)

When the patterns changed

so much the end looked clear

everything was answered

time lost prescription space discovered dimension

all figured out the way it should be

why it never is I don't recall

each time a different ending

still the same

always far from the way it should be

if, all-figured-out

was true.

11-14-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1782)

While building on what went before

I saw tomorrow

glance around the corner

and thank me

for the foundations

for future's experience.

11-17-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1809)

Too late the thaw

when winter's open door

lays waste

hasty autumn's retreat

and ice slices

fields of harvest forgotten

too late too late

like life known

and frozen in winter's

crystal memory

waiting for spring

like every lover does

11-17-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1540)

While laughing at the changes

even making believe they weren't real

this moment took flight

with me in tow

And I have no intention of every returning

to say

these changes now

are anything more

than forever lost in flight.

11-17-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1810 A)

Each variation

is but an interpretation

of choice.

11-17-932 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(170)

While floating upon

thoughts of you

the world slipped away

leaving me to wonder

where'd I'd be

if I wasn't floating upon thoughts of you

11-18-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage((1809 C)

What we shared

even tomorrow will remember

flying free forever foreign feelings

while watching where we merge

as always we expected

we would

11-17-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1744)

Without appearing

repetitious

all I want to know is

have I presented before

what now

so often it seems I search

the touch

11-17-93 Victor Harbor copyright Terrell Neuage(1826)

WELL!

The point never was anything

anymore than not appearing

in changing beliefs:

Like a stunt actor

filling in

while this moment goes on

and I stay behind

11-16-93 (1684)

More like new morning

each thought of you becomes