Corey's parents, Ginny Thomison & Mark Newman Christmas Day 1989 - Corey was already with us, we just didn't know it yet.
This page is
dedicated to my son,
Honestly, I do not remember much of what happened that day. I'm not sure if I blocked it out because the pain and heartbreak was too much to bear-- or if the drugs they gave me to kill the pain of a dry birth to a child who most likely would not survive. What I do remember is waking up about 4:30 am thinking I had to go to the bathroom. Of course, I didn't think anything of it....I usually spent a great deal of time in the bathroom!!
I remember feeling pressure and thinking something is not right here. I thought I felt the baby's head coming out and I paniced. I tried to push it back in and then noticed all the blood. I found out later that what I thought was the baby's head was actually my mucus plug.
The ambulance and fire truck got there about 5 minutes later. As we traveled to the hospital, the emt began working to stabalize me as much as possible. He attempted to begin an IV; but after about 5 or 6 pokes, we were already at the hospital. They took me into the er, examined me and paged the oncall ob/gyn. This was at 5:10 am.
Corey's father, Mark Newman, was not in town (He's another story....) but his mom was kind enough to come to the hospital and stay with me. His grandmother also came down to offer support. No matter what I think of Mark, I will always be thankful to his family for being there for me.
The ultrasound that was taken showed no amniotic fluid left. They got me into a room and induced labor. I remember not wanting to see the baby after I knew he was dead. Dr. Chickering, who delivered him, said I had to...which I am so greatful for her doing. He was so tiny...only a little bigger than my hand. But I could see his daddy and myself in his face. He would have been a lady's man....that's for sure!!!
It's been 9 years and I have not been able to have another child. Irregular cycles and fear have taken their toll. I will keep trying and I have thought of looking into single parent adoption or fostering. I work in the child care field (group home for troubled teens) which allows me to reach out and nurture. I also have two little dogs who are spoiled rotten. My neighbor has recently gone to work again (after maturnity leave) and I watch her little 7 month old daughter when I am not at work myself. I know nothing will completely fill the void; but at least I am able to give my love and support and to be there for someone.
Here's the soapbox folks..... The worst part about all of this (besides my baby boy's passing away) is that everyday I see or hear about someone abusing their kids. I hear about a father plotting revenge on his wife by planning to get her pregnant and then after she is attached to her child--- he kills the baby (on Father's Day no less).....or the parents who let their little ones out by themselves or with their siblings (who are only a year or two older)--- don't they know that a car could hit them or some looney could take them? I don't mean lock the kids away in a closet..but watch them..watch them close. Your child is the most precious gift that you could ever receive.
