Irritability
Fatigue
Difficulty Sleeping
Nightmares
Difficulty Concentrating
Crying excessively
Suicidal Ideation (thoughts)
Loss of Interest
It is difficult for me to pinpoint the exact date of onset for any of the chronic illnesses that I suffer from. I suspect that my true, clinical depression began around age 15-16. Unfortunately, this was bad timing. Everybody believed I was simply suffering from the teenage hormonal thing. It wasn't. In fact, this depression struck hard enough to cause me to attempt suicide.
When I was 17 years old, despite seeing a counselor for years and telling my mother that I was considering it, I swallowed a bottle full of various pills. My attempt failed, thank goodness. (For anyone considering suicide, it is very important that you find someone who will believe you and LISTEN.) When I ended up in the hospital after my attempt, it was an excruciating ordeal. Having your stomach pumped is far from glamorous and is one of my most painful memories.
Throughout the years, I've been on many antidepressants and have waded through many therapists. Eventually, I was diagnosed with chronic depression. It is something that I will most likely suffer from for the rest of my life in varying degrees. While people who have non-chronic depression are able to be cured, chronic depressives are usually not.
After years of successful treatment with Prozac, I reached a point where Prozac was no longer helping me. I was switched from 80 mg. of Prozac to another anti-depressant called Effexor (225 mg/day). It became imperative for me to switch medications when my depression reached a point where suicidal thoughts started to haunt me. Luckily, the Effexor has been very successful in treating the depression. However, I am experiencing some troubling side effects with the Effexor. They include dry mouth and sexual dysfunction. Now it becomes a question of which is more important - my happiness or my sex life. Tough call, eh? ;)
Treatments I have tried which didn't work:
Zoloft:(anti-depressant) caused me nightmares and extreme dry mouth; no aid in relieving depression
Imiprimine: (anti-depressant) no help; no side effects
Buspar:(anti-anxiety) caused an inability to fall asleep and an increase in nightmares. Discontinued use before noticing a positive effect.
Treatments that have worked for me: Prozac: (anti-depressant) Despite the negative press that Prozac has received, it served as a miracle medication for me for several years. I have taken various dosages at various points (from 20 mg to 80 mg) alone or in combination with other drugs. Unfortunately, Prozac became ineffective for me after several years of taking it. Therefore, I was forced to switch to a new anti-depressant medication called Effexor.
Effexor: (anti-depressant) I am currently using 225 mg. a day. It has been significantly helping me through my depression and my recent suicidal thoughts...which are now gone. I'm more cheerful than I've been in quite some time.
Trazadone: (anti-depressant) Helps me to sleep, most of all. May or may not also help with depression. No noticeable side effects.
Counseling: (psychologist) Very helpful in teaching me coping skills, relaxation skills, etc.
Education: I read everything I can get my hands on and it is very therapeutic to me. I especially like reading books that let me know I'm not the only one dealing with this.
Support: My husband and my two cats are very supportive. I don't know what I'd do without them. I think pets are very therapeutic to anyone who has any type of medical condition.
