TEN DATING RESOLUTIONS (An article from MSN)    Top

1. Go out with a loser
You know, the guy your optometrist/Aunt Mabel/a colleague at work is always trying to foist off on you? At best, the date may surprise you by not being half bad. At worst, an evening with an obnoxious, smelly pessimist puts a whole new perspective on dinner with a pleasant, if not perfect, companion.

2. Connect with a new dating prospect
It could be someone from the office, someone you've seen at your coffee place, or the person sitting in the next chair when you get a haircut. Start a conversation. Don't stop until you've got a phone number.

3. Throw a singles party
Invite all the married people you know for hors d'oeuvres, but tell them that they can't enter unless accompanied by an eligible friend. You'll meet lots of unattached dating prospects, and so will they.

4. Go fantasy house hunting
Sign up with a broker to see the most expensive manse in the area. You may not be able to afford it now, but it's sure to trigger a "Where will we be in 30 years?" conversation. If your honey is reluctant to commit, it's the perfect opportunity to role-play a continuing relationship.

5. Take more pictures
You may not remember the good times with your dates, or even their names, unless you document the events. Think back to all the gaps in the family album and the snapshots of strangers whose identities are unknown. Take a disposable camera on each date, like the ones on tables at weddings.

6. Smile
Nothing says I'm interested like flashing the pearly whites. You don't want to appear perpetually high on the latest happy drug, but you don't want to walk around with a frown on your face. A furrowed brow announces that you've got problems, and no one wants to take on yours before they've even met you.

7. Say good-bye
If you are stuck in a relationship going nowhere, you're expending all your energy on treading water. You're not going to find the real romantic McCoy unless you're truly available. So dump the dud who's kept you off the market. Without a fallback, you can re-enter the mating game with renewed vigor.

8. Take advantage of the new technology
You wouldn't do your taxes without a calculator, or keep in touch with distant friends without email. So why aren't you using an online dating service? You can customize your profile to reflect your interests and pick and choose from the prospective matches who see your ad.

9. Go for the gold
Don't settle for second best. If he doesn't make your heart flutter, if she doesn't leave you breathless every time you see her, then keep looking.

10. Deliver an ultimatum
Sometimes you find the perfect person at the wrong time. If marriage is what you want, and he or she isn't ready, set a date. Either they agree to make it legal, or you have to let go and look for another.

How To Date An ARIES FEMALE March 21-April 20

If you are dating an Aries female, take her out to the shooting range. Bring an extra gun for her to shoot with you. (She is capable of shooting at you, if you rile her anger.) Wear tight jeans, a red shirt and look manly. Pick her up on your Harley Davidson , but remind her you have a private race car collection. Be Macho! Do not talk about old girlfriends! Aries females must be the only one. Cooking isn't her goal in life, but adventure will get her attention! Don't be a pushover, she'll lose interest, and look for another challenge. Tell her she is really cool, and the most fun and exciting woman you were ever with. (This will probably not be a lie.) She values honesty, don't fabricate! Be careful though, if this Aries female really likes you, she'll chase you until she can propose to you. Aries females means business and are not recommended for timid men!

How To Date An ARIES MALE March 21-April 20

If you are dating an Aries male, allow him to decide where to go and what to do. Let him know that you have never dated a man with such confidence and brains. You can be the dumb blonde with this guy, he'll save you. If you are out with him and you flirt with someone else, be prepared to call a cab to get home. Aries males do like skin and cleavage, Therefore, you could win him back. It will not work a second time. He can argue with you, and when you think you have won, he will still do it his way. He wants to chase you, so let him do the calling and guesswork. Don't tell him you love him, until he proposes. To catch this hot-blooded Aries man, give the Ram his head and follow his lead. Everyday is an adventure to an Aries male, marriage is also. Rest up!

How to Date A TAURUS FEMALE April 21-May 21

If you are dating a Taurus female, take her to an expensive steak house, rub on your soft musk, wear your corporate suit, and arrive in your four-door sedan. If it is paid for, you may drop that subtlety in your conversation during dinner. Taurus females prefer tender hugs and quiet candle- light dinners at home, prepared by you. She'll return the love by cooking for you at her home. When mentioning the house you would like to build, make sure you tell her about the large wooded lot with room for kids and dogs. If you are serious about her, let her know that it wouldn't be complete without a woman's touch. She will interpret your comment and hint about a cute little 20 carat diamond she spotted at the mall. Taurus females are warm and loving! (Unless you make her mad or jealous. Don't tell her you spent your rent money to buy drugs.) Taurus Females are security minded, and will stick by you!

How to Date A TAURUS MALE April 21-May 21
If you are dating a Taurus male, be prepared to watch lots of movies at his home. His dog will eventually accept the two of you being together. A real treat will be when he takes you out to dinner to a four star restaurant. Taurus males will think you look great in forest green, however, they like nudity above all. Taurus males have the cuddly teddy bear approach to love. He will certainly have his arm around you, during the movies. If you want to win his heart, get him a cold beer without him asking you. He will of course, apologize for his messy home. He would know he had your love, if you surprised him by cleaning it up, and making the chili when he entertains his friends for Monday night football. He likes to take his own sweet time, so don't push him. He is the marrying kind. Visualize Mr. Taurus, watching television from his recliner, dog at his feet, a child under each arm, complete with TV guide and beer can pyramid.

How To Date A GEMINI FEMALE May 22-June 21 If you are dating a Gemini female, arrive on your mountain bike built for two. Ask her if she would like to ride over to the bar, and shoot a game of pool, because a lot of your buddies hang out there and they are fun! If that doesn't work, then suggest skating, a coffee house, or hanging out at the bookstore. Wear casual clothes and be prepared to talk a lot. Talk about the fascinating people you know, the intellectual types preferably. Tell her about the book you are going to write. Have some original thoughts and be inventive. Creativity ranks high on your Gemini females list. You'll never know what she is thinking. She is full of surprises. You can take her to the neighborhood dive bar, or to the governor's Ball. She won't embarrass you. You can find out what she really thinks of you by locating her journal, where all her secrets are kept. Gemini females are not tidy, so it should be lying around in plain sight. There's lots of time before an engagement ring is necessary. Gemini females have to fall in love with your brain first!

How To Date A GEMINI MALE May 22-June 21 If you are dating a Gemini male, you can expect him to stand you up on your first date, but if you are lucky, he will call, say he is running late, and that the plans for the date have changed. Bring an overnight bag, he can get carried away and forget that you need to go home. He will have the cutest twinkling eyes, and you will forgive him. He will slightly ignore you in public, as he always knows everyone, wherever he takes you, and speaks to each one. Somehow, you can't picture him in a tuxedo, going down the aisle. Gemini males won't call you everyday. Gemini men are witty, fun, and can play, play, and play! These men thrive in occupations where they can meet the public, and talk. Gemini males are great as disc jockeys. If you want to catch this guy, don't lean on him, don't get pregnant, or talk marriage. Be a challenge, do your own thing and let your Gemini male chase you. It's ok to date others.

How To Date A CANCER FEMALE June 22-July 22 If you are dating a Cancer female, dine out for pizza, and afterwards take her to Baskin Robbins. Be sure to call her mother and check on the kids. She'll think you are really a nice guy. Dress casual, and drive a suburban, or mini-van. It's ok, if you got the kids from your last divorce, that won't stop her from dating you. Offer to barbecue at her house and compliment her cooking. (That way you get to come back for more.) Bring the family with you, Cancer females can take it. Cancer females are very sensitive about everything near and dear to them. Never say bad things about her family members-ever! They do possess humor. Pay attention to all her handmade quilts and home crafts. Cancer women are great homemakers. Let her know you like women with a little meat on their bones. (They taste everything they cook...yummy!) If you are not marriage minded, don't play games with Cancer women.

How To Date A CANCER MALE June 22-July 22 If you are dating a Cancer male, be prepared to go to swap meets, and garage sales. Of course, he will take you out to eat, at least on your first date. He is pretty thrifty, so be sure you have a little stash of tip money in your purse. Of course, if you want to pay for your own, that would be fine. Just be yourself around him. Looks aren't that important to Cancer males, but do know some fabulous recipes! Talk about your love of children. Display an interest in his hobbies. Don't go into his garage, it will take the rest of the century to go through all of his bargains and collectables. Your Cancer man will be dating just you, and possibly his ex-wife. He is extremely stable, and loves to eat. If you think you need to diet, he won't. He loves chesty women! You will receive flowers from him, out of his garden, naturally. He will remember all the holidays and treat you well. Tell him all your funny stories, he likes to laugh. It's ok, to say you are pro marriage and to openly discuss it. He's there for you. He knows how to treat women, after all, his best friend is his mother. When you marry a Cancer man, you get them both!

How to Date a LEO FEMALE July 23-August 22 If you are dating a Leo female, take her to the movies, a concert, a Broadway show, a plush restaurant. Getting the picture? She wants to be seen out with you. If men notice her, she will love that. If you don't act a little jealous, she will try harder to make you so. She thinks jealousy is a compliment. Bring her flowers, wear your gold chains, and wear something that shows off those muscles you worked so hard to get. That will excite her. Don't forget to splash on your Giorgio cologne. Tell her how much you love redheads, and ask her if all that gorgeous hair is hers? (If she isn't a redhead, then switch to blondes, or dark hair, but don't forget this.) Compliment her constantly, and drive something sporty to show her off. A convertible would be nice. Leo gals will get you noticed! When she disappears on your dates, she is merely primping in the ladies room. Be willing to fight for your Leo female, but don't take any crap from her. She can start fights over nothing. Be prepared. You had better love her cats too! She doesn't care if you are well read or educated, but do be suave, polished and act like you know what you are doing. She will marry you, but be prepared to take care of her sexually, financially, and emotionally. Leo females are a handful, and remember, she can always get another man, so treat her right.

How to Date a LEO MALE July 23-August 22 If you are dating a Leo male, he will take you to the best places for dinner, shows, etc. He will lavish money on you, even if he does not have it to spend. You can expect him to put the studley moves on you ASAP, not to worry. Usually it is a game, to see if you are really interested. He will impress you with his peacock strut, and the way he puffs out his chest. If he can convince you that he is a great guy, then he will be, otherwise, you will be pounced on by his cat like nature. His favorite past-time is being waited on, breakfast in bed, candlelight, movies, concerts, roses and your basic everyday adoration. He is capable of a variety of occupations, but he likes to be the boss the most. This includes home. Leo men can have temper tantrums, if things don't go their way. It's ok, if you want to toss a few things back his way, when he starts to roar. Stand up to him. Be able to turn his roar into a purr. Always look good around him. Don't admit you color your hair. Do sleep with your makeup on, and dress sexy and feminine. He won't marry you otherwise. Leo males love the chase, so let him! (Leo males will already have told you about all of his other women.)

How To Date A VIRGO FEMALE August 23-September 23 If you are dating a Virgo female, be on time when you arrive in your Mercedes to take her out for health food. Borrow the car if you have to. Do not pick her up in your unwashed car, with the baby car carrier. She isn't interested in ready made families. Wear the latest in fashion, and above all, have a manicure. Virgo females notice everything! Have a degree, be a professional, know everyone who is anyone. Exude confidence. Stay away from the bar where you were 86'd! Do not have other girlfriends. Virgo females are shy and sometimes aloof. That does not mean they don't like you. It takes several dates for them to decide if they want you. They are neat freaks, and don't want to pick up after you. Be toilet trained! If you tell her you are going to do something at 6 pm, then do it. Virgo females can drop you for little things like that. Don't quit trying, if you care about her. They only love a handful of men, and you won't have any competition. Just be real! Quality is important to female Virgos. Virgo females are usually career minded, but they will marry.

How To Date A VIRGO MALE August 23-September 23 If you are dating a Virgo male, go slowly. They hate to make mistakes. He will take you out to nice clean respectable establishments, and go to the movies with you. He does not go out dancing or rabble rousing with the guys. He is a solitary person, whose social group is small. Virgo male are inclined to computers, and the geeky stuff. However, he could balance your checkbook for you. Do not dress like a slut Be chic! Have no children from previous marriages. Don't be too talkative. He shies away from party animals. He wants to date someone with a purpose in life. Be interesting, and invite him to your workplace. He can visualize his name hyphenated after yours on the nameplate on your desk. Virgo men can be workaholics, that way they can avoid none's. Virgo males are not usually sexually promiscuous. Sex won't happen until you push for it, but be sure to have your STD test results handy. He will marry you in time, lots of time, be patient. Your Virgo male won't divorce you, once in love, it's for keeps!

How to Date A LIBRA FEMALE September 24-October 23 If you are dating a Libra female, take her to a wine tasting, the theatre, your Cousin's wedding, anyplace sociable. She likes elegance and beauty. Dress in your Sunday best. Bring her flowers, cards and special little feminine gifts. She'll be thoughtful too. Although Libra women are the ultimate in fashion and femininity, they are big flirts. However, underneath it all, they really want to be married to one darling man, who will romance them eternally. Flirt back with her, she loves little games. You can fall in love anytime you want to with her. Your car isn't as important, as how you treat her. Gently please, no conflict! Your Libra female probably won't have children, but she will have her fluffy lap dog, everywhere you go. She isn't the type to cheat on you, unless you forget about romance. Your occupation isn't that important. Be sure to earn enough money to support her frequent shopping trips to the mall. She loves to decorate, so step back at home. You can do the outside domestic duties. You get to wash the car and mow the lawn. When you propose to her, present her with your poetic love vows, and promise to hire a maid for her. Libra females love to be married!

How To Date A LIBRA MALE September 24-October 23 If you are dating a Libra male, your first date will be in aromatic restaurant, highlighted with a wonderful wine list. During dinner just smile and be sweet. Libra men don't like vulgarity in any form. Dress tastefully, and do use your flower scented perfume. He loves women who dress up, wear jewelry, use makeup, and are happy being feminine. He is fascinated with fantasy, including sexual fantasy. Don't discuss your recent love life, or ex-husbands. He could care less about your children, or desire to have them. Don't be argumentative. Libra males hate conflict. You can discuss your latest painting, the last book you read, or what your plans are for interior decorating. Libra males love cozy fires, and sensuous females near it. Fore play is a big high for Libra males. He is not a wimp, by any means, although, he loves to please! Yes, he would be your sex slave, provided you tease him a lot. At work, he is a fair boss, but at home he loves to be used! Libra males will stay in a bad marriage. Flirting gets them into trouble. Marriage is part of his ultimate plan, just make certain he is single, when you decide to date your Libra male.

How To Date A SCORPIO FEMALE October 24-November 22 If you are dating a Scorpio female, be careful! Show up wearing black clothes that fit you well. Arrive in your black car with the dark tinted windows. She likes the dark places, so take her to the bars, a casino would be fab! Don't tell her about the drugs you are on, she won't tell you about hers either. There needs to be caution exercised here, because Scorpios are one of two extremes. One the saint, the other the sinner. The first type of Scorpio is very religious, and does not smoke, drink, or do drugs. If you are on a blind date, you will know which version you are dating. Neither type is hung up on what you wear, but more how you wear it. Have sex appeal. Be interested in occult matters, be deep. She won't offer you much information about herself, you will have to guess. Scorpio females will pry your whole life story out of you. To keep her interested, be hard to get. You won't know if you are pleasing her, or where you stand. A fatal mistake is to anger a Scorpio female. Scorpio women will get you! She has a passionate nature and can have more than one love interest. They are not usually domestic, nor want to be involved with parenthood. She will put all of her intense energy into either partying or getting to the top. Female Scorpios are all or nothing, even when it comes to marriage.

How To Date A SCORPIO MALE October 24-November 22 If you are dating a Scorpio male, make sure you love secrets! He loves for you to be sexy, and downright sleazy works for him too. He can make love to you, and not be in love with you. His passion can fool women, don't mistake it for love. Oftentimes, they are most in love when they can't possess or own you. Jealousy is a big issue with him. He stays jealous. He does not care what you do for an occupation, nor your financial status. Scorpio males want to control you to conform to their ideas of living. So, if you aren't strong in your own identity, then you will lose him. Scorpio males like the challenge of ownership. They love you most when they can't have complete control over you. Only the fearless need apply here. One type of Scorpio will marry you and stay put and dominate the household. Whereas, the other type will just disappear on you without warning or reason. Be true to yourself with Scorpio males, and let your personality stay on top!

How To Date A SAGITTARIUS FEMALE November 23-December21 If you are dating a Sagittarius Female, be ready willing and able to go anywhere. She loves sports and to travel. A perfect date would be an overnight excursion to Mount Olympus, and skiing down the slopes for breakfast. Pick her up in your jeep, or pickup truck, she won't mind your dog either. Dress casual, and be able to tell her about an Indian Shaman you know, who invited you to a tribal ceremony. She'll want to go with you. Don't do the same things twice in a row. She won't care who you are dating, because she has plenty of men friends. Sagittarius women can be ready for a date on a moments notice. She'll be great at men's activities, like softball, and eating the worm from a Tequila bottle. She will have been everywhere, but darn, Sagittarius females are fun to be around. You can win her heart with variety in your lovemaking. She isn't the type to spend time in the kitchen or babysitting. Show her you want to be a companion in all of her zany schemes. When she falls for you, she will ask you to do things with her. Marriage is not on her mind, but she would marry you, if she felt you were compatible enough. Sagittarius women love their freedom!

How To Date A SAGITTARIUS MALE November 23-December 21 If you are dating a Sagittarius male, expect anything and everything. He is not very reliable about schedules, dates, or you. Not in the beginning anyway. He likes talkative women and female jocks. He wants a buddy to join him in his pursuits. Most Sagittarius males are employed in sales/traveling jobs. They can have a gal in every port. Let him tell you he is serious about you first. Sagittarius males only get married when they have to, and then they can't seem to stay married. They love the thrill and adventure of chasing a woman, similar to their love of hunting, fishing, and sports. You rank in there somewhere. You can get used to being a hunting widow, sports widow, etc., with a Sagittarius male! You should love the same things he does. Sagittarius men can be very funny and interesting. He will go to restaurants, but throw out his suit and tie. Sagittarius males like their comfort and the wide open spaces and places, and freedom with their women. Make no mistake about it, he does love women, all of them. When your Sagittarian's heart goes out to you, he won't know what to do about it, because he didn't expect to fall in love. If you live with him, he won't find time to go down the aisle. Sagittarius men dread the thought of a tuxedo, and the stares from wedding guests. You will have to drag your Sagittarius male to the altar!

How To Date A CAPRICORN FEMALE December 22-January 20 If you are dating a Capricorn female, take her to dinner at the best restaurant in town, arrive in a limousine with flowers. Dress in your designer clothes, and be impeccable. Pinstripes and subtle scents arouse her. Be successful at whatever you are undertaking. Let her know about it. It's ok, to tell her you made two million last year. Don't be cheap. Tell her you have been saving yourself for the right woman, and that you have been working your buns off, to build your empire. Tell her you need someone to share this big business burden with, and that your thoughts are about expanding your business. Hint that a woman would be perfect as a manager in your new expansion. She will be so intrigued, that she will offer you sound business suggestions. She is SMART! Capricorn females won't compete with you, they'll help climb the ladder. Don't forget about her. She loves expensive presents with thought behind them. Her little black book is filled with business appointments, not telephone numbers. Capricorn women are almost always successful in whatever they undertake. They don't take enough time to eat, so take her to lunch, dinner and your next corporate meeting. Business thrills them. She may seem cold emotionally, but don't be fooled. She has those sexual infernos, looking for a release! She does not trust men entirely, so don't give her the bums rush, or you will be part of the homeless. She would be a great wife to a success oriented man. She can entertain your clients, and friends. Capricorn females, can be boss in marriage too. Be prepared to be hen-pecked, if you are thinking marriage!

How To Date A CAPRICORN MALE December 22-January 20 If you are dating a Capricorn male, plan on doing most of the talking. He will take you to places with class and ambience. He will pick you up in his black, luxury car. You will be treated like a lady. Therefore, you should let him open the doors, etc. Dress in style, but be sure you show some cleavage. Still waters run deep with Capricorn males. Your first dates will seem like business meetings, but eventually you will get to know him. He is insecure about his emotions and likes to keep them under control. Of course, he won't make this obvious. Compliment him on his achievements and he will open up to you. He would be strict as a parent, and holds very traditional beliefs about relationships. Don't be an airhead or aimless. He appreciates a hard working woman, whom he can consider an equal. He does not know how to play, so you will have to lighten him up with your humorous antics and fun loving side. Once your Capricorn man commits, he will not leave you. Divorce is a nasty word in his vocabulary. Capricorn males make good husbands and bread winners. They are extravagant with gifts to those whom they love. Marriage will have to be his idea, not yours!

How To Date An AQUARIUS FEMALE January 21-February 19 If you are dating an Aquarius female, arrive in your restored classic. Wear a funky hat and clothes that shouldn't go together, but somehow do. Take her to an out of the way coffee house, featuring jazz. Feel free to discuss anything and everything. She is an intelligent listener, and will have some bizarre insight of her own. You'll never truly understand her, so bring a tape recorder for instant replay to sort it out later. Aquarius women are unusual, not necessarily hippies, but aware of the entire globe. She won't be ready to jump in the sack on the first date, she has to get to know you. Be fascinating, tell her that you are going to Spain to run with the bulls. Explain your philosophy on combining chemicals to combat radiation. Tell her about your thesis which was published in the International Who Dunnit Magazine. Don't tell her you are in love with her too soon. You will know when she has taken a strong liking to you. That is when your Aquarius female will invite you to her abode. Then you will see the real Aquarius female. There will be many unusual pictures, and books. There is a story connected to all of her belongings. When your Aquarius female commits to you, she will not necessarily be ready for marriage. That is just her way of saying she likes you. You must have like minds, or there will be no future Mrs. Anybody!

How To Date An AQUARIUS MALE January 21-February 19 If you are dating an Aquarius male, consider yourself lucky to even get the first date. Aquarius males don't date much. They would rather be an observer, hanging out on the scene. He would prefer to go to your house and have long talks into the night, and possibly just stay over. He may tell you that he just video taped an erotica video featuring wild animals at the zoo with some vacationing starlets. He may stay at your house, never cook or clean, but just be there, when you come home from work. Then one day, without warning, he will be gone. If he is employed, he can be quite selfish with his money. He likes his freedom, in every way. Eventually he will call you, .....expect the unexpected with Aquarius. When Aquarius males fall in love, it is usually with someone who is intellectual, self-sufficient, and childless. Have a deep purpose or goal in life and he will be attracted to your dreams. Aquarius males will marry, but they usually marry the wrong person the first time, and shy away from second marriages. They love their mental freedom. Nagging won't change them. He won't care what race you are, how much you weigh, etc. Mind altering drugs can ruin an Aquarian male for marriage completely. If he is more holistic, then he is searching for a soul mate. Love yourself and your Aquarius male will too!

How To Date A PISCES FEMALE February 20-March 20 If you are dating a Pisces female, take her to a psychic far, art gallery, or out for cocktails. Don't take her to the animal shelter, or you will have a new pet. You can wear anything you like, and you get to make all the decisions. She prefers men with a passion about something, just believe in it. Music is one of her favorites and dancing is definitely a must. If you can't dance, take lessons. Pisces females don't care if you are good looking, just have a heart. A sense of humor is an asset, she has one too. She has no confidence in herself, so support her in her dreams. She falls in love easily. Don't promise her a rose garden, if you don't mean it. When you go to the movies, take tissues. It does not matter what the movie is about, she will inevitable cry, when something touches her. Pisces females love everyone, even if they treated her badly. She hates to see pain, but can drown in her own. Cheer her up, be a positive kind of guy, and be romantic. Encourage her to not live in your shadow, but to have her own life. Yes, your Pisces woman will marry you. Pisces females have a hard time saying No!

How To Date A PISCES MALE February 20-March 20 If you are dating a Pisces male, it will be up to you to decide where to go, what to do, whose car to take. He likes music, alcohol, and strong-willed women. He will do whatever you want. He has an extremely creative side, which takes precedence over his mundane duties of the everyday work world. He could be happy being supported by you, because he would surrender all of himself to you and your causes. Pisces males are romantic, and hate to make decisions. He does not want to displease you in any way. He donates to every solicitor knocking at the door. Pisces males are not normally good money managers, therefore, you get to. He won't mind. He would give you every paycheck. He loves you when you are dreamy and romantic, with the candles lit and soft music. He will cook for you. He dresses nicely and won't embarrass you in public. If you want to marry this man, just take him home. He's yours. Pisces males can't bear divorce. Marriage minded they are, Pisces males function best with a partner! ---

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end

LAWS WOMEN LIVE BY 1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers. 2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door. 3. If we put a man on the moon - we should be able to put them all up there. 4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone. 5. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway. 6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces so that you can tell them apart. 7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable. 8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types. 9. Best way to get a man to do something: suggest he's too old for it. 10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. 11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital. 12. The children of Israel wandered in the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions. 13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks. 14. Remember: a sense of humor does not mean you tell him jokes; it means you laugh at his. 15. Sadly, all men are created equal. Just a thought for all the women out there... MENtal illness MENstrual cramps MENtal breakdown MENopause Ever notice how all of women's problems start with men? And when we have real trouble, it's HISterectomy.