I was preparing the sacraments of penance for being me

when She stopped me on the storm strewn street corner

flashed a come-hither smile and purred into my ear

'Which way to paradise and sexual LIBERATION?'

Being a cartoon character gave me a distinct advantage

in the way I should phrase my answer to her question

I had been run over twice already in the past hour

been set on fire by Beavis and Butthead

Graffitied on by Plate's mother's shadow

peed on by a hundred and one Dalmatians

tortured by the Lion King

Left alone to fill the Grail Cup

with my cartoon blood while hang-gliding at Golgotha

was demoted from Prime Time TV to the Sunday morning

evangelical hour on a foreign cable station

Chased by my three shadows

Chased by my three shadows

Chased by my three shadows

I smiled back at her and said

'Follow Me'