Living This Lie

I never saw it coming
your hand is quicker than my eye
aren’t you ever sorry,
for letting me live this lie?

I close my eyes,
shut them tight
my body tenses
it could take all night

you say you love me,
and claim you care
but you never show it
a loving hug is rare

you call it a game
make it no big deal
the pain that you cause
is too constant to heal

I don’t want to live,
just wanna die
aren’t you ever sorry,
for letting me live this lie?

My body slumps,
I’m too weak to fight
I open my eyes
everythings gone white

why do you do it?
it’s so unfair
look at your self,
old and full of wear

you’re hurting me
my pain is real
I wish that just once
you’d know how I feel.

My whole body shakes,
I sob and I cry
aren’t you ever sorry,
for letting me live this lie

I grab the gun
I think I might
I’m still in pain
you have no right

my fingers fumble,
I brush away my hair
I remind my self,
bullets are supposed to tear

I pull the trigger
the bullet is real
you’re screaming and yelling
now you feel what I feel.

I look at you,
ask myself why?
But  I’ll bet now you’re sorry
for letting me live this lie