Dear 'valued' web serfer,
I must apoligize on behalf of Star and her demonic horde. We understand that you were looking for just another website, possibly for humor, possibly for porn (although you are in the wrong place for that) and happened to stumble onto this link.
You were not prepared, we did not bother to warn you, and now you have died. This is Hell and you are deep in it. This is your notice of intent. Please fill out the attached Character sheet (in triplicate) and Sinful/Good Deeds List (with details). As sometime mistakes can occur, we must verify your evil status before permitting you inside.
You can't lie. Don't even try. It would insult Her Darkness.
Halfway Sincerely, Daemon Pion, The Office of Internal Hellfire.
You're choices:
1. Boy am I evil, I'm so evil my aura is a permanent shade of Black and people walking by me die of fright.
2. I'm not so evil, but I'm going to hell anyway.
3. I don't belong here! I'm not at all evil (smirk) I swear! I'm NOT lying!!!!
4. I'm an innocent but heaven's boring, can I PLEASE stay. (Mommy says it's ok)
5. Quite being melodramatic and get me to the jokes.