How To Stand Out
HOW TO STAND OUT FROM THE CROWD
Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't
disguise your voice)
Put your garbage can on your desk and label
it 'IN.'
Find out where your boss shops and buy
exactly the same outfits.
Always wear them one day after your boss
(This is especially effective if your boss is
the opposite gender.)
Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks.
Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine
addictions, switch to espresso.
Send e-mail to the rest of the company to
tell them what you're doing. For example: 'If
anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom.'
Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
Every time someone asks you to do
something, ask if they want fries with that.
Encourage your colleagues to join you in a
little synchronized chair dancing.
Determine how many cups of coffee is 'too
many.'
Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
For a relaxing break, get away from it all
in the fish tank with a mask and snorkel. If
no one notices, ditch the snorkel and see how
many fish you can catch in your mouth.
Send e-mail messages that advertise free
pizza, doughnuts, etc., in the breakroom.
When people complain that there was nothing
there, lean back, rub your stomach, and say,
"You've got to be faster than that."
When driving colleagues around, insist on
keeping your car's windshield wipers running
during all weather conditions to keep 'em
tuned up.
Reply to everything someone says with,
"That's what you think."
Practice making fax and modem noises.
Highlight irrelevant information in
scientific papers, then cc them to your boss.
Finish all your sentences with "in
accordance with the prophecy."
Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the
brightness level lights up the entire working
area. Insist to others that you like it that
way.
Dont use any punctuation
As often as possible, skip rather than
walk.
Ask people what species they are.
While making presentations, occasionally
bob your head like a parakeet.
At lunch time, sit in your parked car and
point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if
they slow down.
Specify that your drive-through order is
'to go.'
Stomp on plastic ketchup packets.
Holler random numbers while someone is
counting.
Honk and wave at strangers.
Decline to be seated at a restaurant, then
eat the complimentary mints by the cash
register.
TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
type only in lowercase.
What? "Never mind. It's gone now."
Sing along at the opera.
Go to a poetry recital and ask why the
poems don't rhyme.
Five days in advance, tell your friends you
can't attend their party because you're not
in the mood.
HOME
