QUESTION: Why did the chicken cross the
road?
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other
side.
PLATO: For the greater good.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to
cross
roads.
KARL MARX: It was an historical
inevitability.
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip
the
establishment would let it take.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of
rebellion and
we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons
of nerve gas on
it.
RONALD REAGAN: I forget.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no
chicken has
gone before.
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm
in its
pancreas.
ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the
chicken's side of
the road was threatening its dominant market
position. The
chicken was faced with significant challenges
to create and
develop the competencies required for the
newly competitive
market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering
relationship
with the client, helped the chicken by
rethinking its
physical distribution strategy and
implementation
processes. Using the Poultry Integration
Model (PIM),
Andersen helped the chicken use its skills,
methodologies,
knowledge, capital and experiences to align
the chicken's
people, processes and technology in support
of its overall
strategy within a Program Management
framework. Andersen
Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum
of road
analysts and best chickens along with
Anderson consultants
with deep skills in the transportation
industry to engage
in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order
to leverage
their personal knowledge capital, both tacit
and explicit,
and to enable them to synergize with each
other in order to
achieve the implicit goals of delivering and
successfully
architecting and implementing an
enterprise-wide value
framework across the continuum of poultry
cross-median
processes. The meeting was held in a
park-like setting,
enabling and creating an impactful
environment which was
strategically based, industry-focused, and
built upon a
consistent, clear, and unified market message
and aligned
with the chicken's mission, vision, and core
values. This
was
conducive towards the creation of a total
business
integration solution. Andersen Consulting
helped the
chicken change to become more
successful.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see,
represents the black
man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in
order to
trample him and keep him down.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world
where all
chickens will be free to cross roads without
having their
motives called into question.
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens,
and He said unto
the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And
the chicken
crossed the road, and there was much
rejoicing.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with
your own eyes.
How many more chickens have to cross the road
before you
believe it?
BILL CLINTON: I did NOT see it cross the
road. That chicken.
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken
crossed the
road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the
road justifies
whatever motive there was.
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road?
I mean, why
doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the
heck was this
chicken doing walking around all over the
place, anyway?
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned
that the
chicken crossed the road reveals your
underlying sexual
insecurity.
MARK TWAIN: The news of its crossing has been
greatly exaggerated.
BILL GATES: I have just released the new
Chicken Office
2000, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs,
file your important documents, and balance
your chick book.
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did
the chicken
cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was
crossing the road
at the same time, whom we overlooked in our
haste to
observe the chicken crossing?"
DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time,
have been
naturally selected in such a way that they
are now
genetically disposed to cross roads.
EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the
road or the road
moved beneath the chicken depends upon your
frame of
reference.
BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own
chicken
nature.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not
cross the road...
it transcended it.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the
rain.
MICHAEL SCHUMACHER: It was an instinctive
maneuver, the
chicken obviously didn't see the road until
he had already
started to cross.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
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