Riddles 5, 6, 7, have been removed to
optimize your laugh factor
-1-
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To show the armadillo it could be
done.
-2-
Why did the chicken cross the road
halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line!
-3-
Why did the turtle cross the road?
It was the chickens day off.
-4-
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
It just didn't have the guts to do
it.
-5-
Removed
-6-
Removed
-7-
Removed
-8-
Knock, knock. Who's there? Amos.
Amos who?
Amosquito just bit me!
-9-
Waiter: How did you find your steak,
sir?
Patron: I lifted up a pea and there it
was!
-10-
Waiter waiter! What's this roach doing in my
soup?
I think it's the backstroke, sir.
-11-
What do you get if you cross a cow with an
insect?
A moosquito.
~~~~~~~
Trust me, they get better from here on
down.
~~~~~~~
-12-
What do you get if you cross a cow with a
rabbit?
A hare in your milk.
-13-
Why shouldn't you tell secrets in a
cornfield?
Because it's full of ears.
-14-
Did you hear about the man who turned into a
pair of
glasses?
He made a spectacle of himself!
-15-
Why did the boy throw his toast out the
window?
He wanted to see the butter fly.
-16-
Why did the cow wear a bell?
Because her horn didn't work.
-17-
What did one wall say to another?
Meet you at the corner.
-18-
How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
Hold it's nose.
-19-
Waiter! There's a mouse in my stew!
Sir, please be quiet or everyone else will
want
one!
-20-
Why did Humpty-Dumpty have a great fall?
To make up for a bad summer.
-21-
How do you know it's raining cats and
dogs?
Because I just stepped in a
poodle!
-22-
Why did the rocket loose it's job?
It was fired!
-23-
Why did the jelly roll?
Because it saw the apple turnover.
-24-
What is the difference between here
and
there?
The letter "t".
-25-
What is the difference between a cloud and a
boy getting a
spanking?
The cloud pours with rain and the boy
roars with
pain.
-26-
Why was the mother flea crying?
Because her children had gone to the
dogs!
-27-
Why is a pencil like a riddle?
Because neither one is any good without a
point.
-28-
What is a zebra?
26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.
-29-
Where was deviled ham mentioned in the
Bible?
-30-
Why is a dog's tail like the heart of a
tree?
Because it's the farthest from the
bark.
-31-
What is the difference between the North Pole
and the South Pole?
All the difference in the
world.
-32-
Why is Ireland likely to become the richest
country in the world?
Because its capital is always doublin'!
(Dublin)
-33-
What is the difference between a sewing
machine and a kiss?
One sews seams nice, and the other seems
so nice!
-34-
What's the difference between a thief and a
church bell?
One steals from the people and the other
peals from the steeple.
-35-
If a girl fell into a well, why wouldn't her
brother help her out?
How could he be a brother and assist her
(a sister) too?
-36-
Why is a room full of married couples like
and empty room?
Because there isn't a single person in
it.
-37-
Why are you so tired on April Fool's Day?
Because you have just had a March of
thirty-one days.
-38-
Who was the fastest runner in the world?
Adam. He was first in the human
race.
-39-
Which is larger: Mr. Larger, or Mr. Larger's
baby?
The baby is a little Larger.
-40-
How do you know a baker is an unselfish
person?
Because he is continually selling that
which he kneads himself.
-41-
What is the difference between a hungry man
and a glutton?
One longs to eat and the other eats too
long.
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