BARRY'S BRAIN SPEAKS
After the new hundreds, fifties and
twenty-dollar
bills came out, I heard a banker explain the
situation on TV. The new designs are for the
purpose
of making it extremely difficult to
counterfeit them.
"But don't worry," he continued, "your old
bills will
be accepted forever." Now, what's wrong with
this
picture, huh? Yep! Counterfeiters can keep
cranking
out the old easy design forever!
I believe a political platform is sort
of like
the
running board on an antique car. It's not
meant to
stand
on, just to get in on.
Most of my problems in life are a direct
result of
not
listening to my God-given gut-feelings. I
understand
this.
What I don't understand is; how can I know if
I am
sensing
my gut-feeling, or if I am just experiencing
mild
trapped gas?
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm
schizophrenic
and I am, too!
I was looking over the menu at a catfish
restaurant
and
noticed something peculiar. It read: All You
Can
Eat $11.45, Half As Much $6.45. I ask the
waitress, "half as much of what?" She
replied,
"Well, the
$6.45 is four pieces of fish." "Does that
mean the
All You
Can Eat is only eight pieces?" "No. It's all
you can
eat
for $11.45." Now if I wanted to pursue this
argument
further, I could have said that I can eat
twelve
pieces and
half of that is six pieces for $6.45. But
then I
would
have to prove it by getting the All You Can
Eat for
$11.45,
eat twelve pieces and come back on another
day and
get six
pieces for $6.45. Or maybe all you can eat
is open
to
infinity, therefore half of that is half of
infinity.
If
anyone can figure this out, let me know.
I am __ years old and am discovering I can
think things
that someone half my age couldn't possibly
think.
For
example, I will sometimes try to remember
something
that
happened a long time ago, say, maybe in my
childhood.
Even
though I can't remember a particular event, I
can
clearly
remember a more recent time when I could
remember.
Understand? Good. So if I can
clearly
remember a
time that I could clearly remember the
event,
why
can't I clearly remember the event by simply
recalling and
concentrating on the time when I could
clearly
remember the
event? Is this crazy or what?
|
|
Barry's Confidant
HOME
|
