Diary Entry from November 11, 2002I'm feeling really shitty. Been depressed and not even noticed which isn't like me, normally I can see the signs really fast and stop them. For quite a while now I've not been able to sleep well (worse than usual), bad appetite, have been sick, isolating myself, not doing homework, been thinking about cutting & drugs& smoking. How could I have not noticed I'm depressed? It's so obviously there, but maybe it's because I've been hiding my emotions so well in front of other people. Probably convinced myself that everything was alright. There was one night where I was really agitated (huge section of diary blacked out) ... if I OD'd on meds. (another blacked out section) ... knows something is wrong but also knows that I'm getting help for it. The doctor wants me to speak to a psychiatrist. I'm a wreck. Cut myself today.