The Misery Chronicles
Mood:  hug me
Now Playing: Dig by Mudvayne
I'm sleep deprived, unrested, miserable, going through symptoms of psychosis and falling behind in everything. I don't want to see my friends anymore, the only reason I bother to visit them is because I know that they'll cheer me up eventually. I chose to quit smoking at a very bad time. It's finals soon, everyone is stressed out, and I need something to calm me down. My karate lesson is tonight and I don't feel like going again; last week I didn't go because the hallucinations were too distracting. I'm not schizophrenic, I know these visions aren't real and know they can't hurt me. It's the voices that bother me most. They comment on every single little thing that I do and somehow turn it into something negative. Why?! Is it really the stress that's doing this? What stress? Sure, I recently broke up with a guy that I had willingly gave my heart to and actually thought he cared. Why did this event trigger all these negative things in my life again? They were dormant while I was with him. Now I live in a student residence again, my roommates are real bitches, school is burning me out. The nightmares keep me away until it's light enough out that I can see if something is going to attack me or not. I see shadows in the dark coming after me... what on earth is all of this symbolizing?